The rest of the day passed in a blur—strategizing their next move. More of Garrett's stories. Too much of Raina's knowing looks.
And then Garrett dragged Ward out of the Berserker staff's grip when he mentioned the team. Mentioned Skye. Mentioned Ward's stint as a member of the team.
"It doesn't come without complications," Ward said coldly.
"Oh come on, you're not still mad about that, are you?"
"Shooting Skye was never part of the plan!" Ward snapped, slamming his hands down on the table. Was this Berserker rage, or was it just the memories? Because as long as he lived, Ward would never forget the image of Skye lying on the bare stone floor, bleeding out in front of him.
"You should've told me," Garrett said, annoyed. "How was I supposed to know you had a thing for the girl?"
"You said going in you didn't want bloodshed," Ward argued. "The mission was supposed to be about intel, not kill orders."
"Would it have been easier if I'd issued the kill order when she first joined the team?"
"Of course it would have been easier," Ward snarled. "But you didn't. So don't touch her again."
"Is that why you had her shot?" Raina asked Garrett coolly, and it infuriated Ward to hear her talking about Skye so casually.
He opened his mouth, but Garrett cut him off.
"I needed Coulson's Jesus juice," Garrett said. "And Coulson goes to great lengths for the people he cares about."
"Why not have Ward shot, then, if it was not about killing him and just about the drug? It would give you more of an excuse to be on that plane. In fact, it would have given you the perfect cover to be on the plane," Raina said. "It would make sense that a former SO would go to those lengths for an agent."
Ward cocked his head at Raina in confusion. "But the team… they care about Skye. She's the kind that people go to any lengths to save, because… because that's who she is. She's worth it. And because the only one who would even think of going to those lengths to save me is John Garrett."
Garrett nodded. "No one really cares about the specialists," he said nonchalantly, and Ward nodded in agreement. "But Coulson is a sucker for redemption stories," Garrett continued, laughing sardonically. "And Skye was all that and more for him. She was the logical choice."
I wish it had been me. I wish I had been the kill order.
Even if the team wouldn't have tried to save me…
"You really don't think Coulson cares?" Raina asked, her dark eyes boring into Ward's as she stared at him in disbelief. "I spent some time with him. He would have laid down his life for you—for any of you. You really don't think he would see you as someone worth saving?"
"I was another project," Ward said coldly, shutting out the memories. "When it comes down to it, projects aren't worth saving, either."
Who are you trying to convince, Ward? Yourself? The thought nagged at the back of his mind, and Ward tried to shrug it off; tried to shrug off all his memories of Coulson.
Coulson, making sure he rested after the day in Peru where he had nearly lost his team the first time.
Coulson, making sure he was alright after the Berserker staff had brought him to the edge of hell.
Coulson, the only one to acknowledge how awful it had been to wake up from Lorelei's spell.
Coulson, who had pulled him to the side after Garrett revealed himself; tried to break the news gently; tried to save him…
Always trying to save him.
"Coulson doesn't have projects," Raina said firmly, and Ward looked up at Garrett, who was watching him uncertainly. "Coulson has people who he would die for. Who he would do anything to rescue. I wouldn't take that lightly if I were you, Agent Ward."
"Well, understand this, Flowers," Ward said. "Someone else has already taken a bullet for me. Someone has already rescued me. And nothing in the world matters more than that."