The
next morning the girls awoke to terrible hangovers. They grumbled as
they stumbled into the kitchen to make coffee. Once it was made
Meredith poured Cristina a cup and handed it to her.
"You are
the vilest whore to ever walk the earth." Cristina declared.
"I
probably am." Meredith agreed taking a sip out of her own mug.
They finished their coffee, but remained at the table for a while
trying to make the pounding and swirling subside. As the coffee
crashed into their system both headed for the bathroom. They remained
their together puking violently for the next few hours. Once the
nausea calmed Meredith gathered her toiletries to take a shower. She
finished and Cristina took her shower.
By lunch the girls managed
to force down some food. Meredith packed her things and thanked
Cristina for being there and helping her out. Then she climbed into
her car and headed back to Charlottesville.
The last half hour of
the drive was the worst. She knew she should call Derek and let him
know she was alive. But she didn't want to talk to him quite yet,
especially when she had to face him in no time at all. She left her
phone on silent and ignored its existence. Denial always worked for
her.
But finally she arrived at their house and could no longer
deny the real world. She turned the engine off, but remained seated
for a moment long breathing deep before going into the house. When
she couldn't stand it any longer she walked into the house and
quietly slipped in the front door. Derek's car was in the drive so
she knew he was here somewhere. But he wasn't in the den. She
carried her bag to her room and glanced into his room. Still no
Derek. She returned down the stairs and checked the kitchen. But it
was empty too. The only place left was the office. She silently made
her way down the hallway and could hear him tapping at keys. Not
wanting to disturb him and being too much of a coward, she sat down
leaning against the wall facing the closed door and decided to wait
for him to emerge.
Derek was in his office working on the UMYF
plans for the week. He grew hungry and decided to head to the kitchen
and make dinner for himself. When he opened the door he was met with
a familiar pair of legs. The body attached to those legs was fast
asleep leaned up against the wall. Relief flooded his body when he
realized she was home safe and sound. He was battling the compulsion
he felt to be angry with her and the love he knew he couldn't stop.
He nudged her with his foot waking her up.
"Derek." She yawned
tiredly. "We need to talk." He looked at her expectantly. Out of
habit she reached her hand up to him for him to help her up off of
the ground. And just as much out of habit he pulled her up to her
feet neither immediately releasing their intertwined hands. He looked
down at their hands a split second later, causing Meredith to remove
her hand from his almost shamefully. She pulled away wrapping her
arms around herself. Derek walked into the den and settled at one end
of the couch and she settled on the other facing him.
"Derek,
you have to believe me when I say that there is absolutely nothing
going on between me and David besides the friendship that's always
been there."
"That's what worries me. The relationship you
guys have always had is friends. But you have always been willing to
change that the moment he was willing. You love him. Same as I would
have jumped at the chance to have Addison back."
"Der things
change. David and I tried. And we failed. And now there's you."
"It
looked like I was forgotten about at your house and then again
Wednesday night. There being another guy was sure to make David
jealous."
"I hadn't told him about that yet."
"Why
hadn't you?"
"Well because I was trying to Wednesday, but
then he told me he wanted me back." Meredith tried to explain.
"And
so that's when you kissed him."
"I did not kiss him!"
"It didn't look like you were telling him you didn't want
him back."
"Well I was kind of interrupted before I could get
to that."
"So it's my fault?"
"No."
"Is it
your fault?"
"No. It's not mine either."
"Then whose
is it Meredith's? Nobody's? Because that would be really
convenient." Derek declared nastily.
"I don't know whose
fault it is. I know that I was trying to tell David that I was
involved with you that night. And I know that I wasn't about to let
anything happen with David. And you came in and jumped to the wrong
conclusions." Meredith shot back at Derek. Derek started to open
his mouth to reply, but Meredith cut him off. "I know it looked
bad. But you should trust me. We've been friends for years and
years. You should know to trust me."
"You make it awfully hard
sometimes."
"You don't make everything a piece of cake
either."
"So where does this leave us?"
"Damned if I
know."
"Well what are we doing here? What do you want?"
Derek asked.
"I want to try again. But I don't want to if you
don't think you can trust me to do this. Because I trust you with
my life, same as ever. And I thought you felt the same. I guess not
though."
"You didn't exactly appear angelic either time you
were with David."
"Everything we did was completely innocent.
I was hanging out with a friend. Absolutely nothing was out of the
ordinary."
"Mer you can't lounge in bed with guys while
you're dating somebody else or make them dinner with your boyfriend
due home at any moment." Derek explained.
"How am I supposed
to know these things? I was just doing what I've always done."
Meredith defended.
Derek grew thoughtfully quiet as he considered
what she had just said. She was right. She had never been in a long
term relationship. She had always kept things short and sweet waiting
for David. Derek stood up walking away from the couch. Nervously
Meredith drew her legs up to her chest as she watched Derek pace
silently. He ran his hand through his hair and after a moment stopped
moving to gaze at Meredith.
"Mer, what is it exactly you feel for David?"
"He is one of my three best friends in the world. But I don't love him like I used to."
"When did your feelings change?"
"After he dumped me. We started hanging out together after we made up. That's when things changed. It all just changed. He stopped being David and became just David."
"Just David?"
"Yeah didn't you reach that point with Addison where you just didn't think of her like that anymore?" She asked.
Derek considered it for a moment. He had reached that point. It took forever, but he had found it. And things just changed. Not in an instant. Looking back on it he could see the gradual progression, but as it happened it had seemed instantaneous.
"Yeah you know what I did." He answered. He returned to the couch and gently settled down beside her. After a moment of stillness Meredith reached her hand out to rest it on his knee.
"Der?" She asked questioningly.
"I'm sorry." He whispered. "I should have just seen it…or listened to you."
"No you were justified." Meredith countered. "I should have realized how all of it looked. Der, I swear I didn't mean for anything like this to happen. I was just hanging out with a friend. It's just, you know I haven't done this before; I'm in way over my head. You have to help me."
"I guess we know we need to talk more." Derek suggested.
"Funny considering that for years we talked more than I talked to any other person."
"Must just be one of those pesky details that nobody bothers to mention about relationships."
"Must be it." Meredith agreed softly. "So what happens now?" She asked.
"You should scoot a little closer." Derek recommended. Meredith obliged moving from her end of the couch to Derek's. "Okay. Now I'm going to kiss you. And it's not going to make everything magically better, but it'll be a start." He explained leaning his face towards hers.
"Wait, are we done fighting?"
"Yeah pretty much. Unless you can think of any reason to keep fighting."
"No I just want to be happy."
"Happy?" He asked. She nodded in response, "Oh I can do happy." He assured her taking her mouth in his and gently kissing away any remnants of their fight. Meredith melted into his arms kissing him back with the same passion. She carefully placed her hand on his chest, but gripped his shirt when she felt him pull away from her.
"No." She breathed into him. She switched their positions dominating him until he was reclining on the couch and she was straddling his waist. She pushed his hair back from his face eagerly finding his mouth.
Eventually Meredith found a comfortable place on his chest and snuggled into him pulling a blanket over herself. Derek picked up the remote and flicked through the stations until he found something decent. Then he returned his to Meredith who was drifting off. He tried to sit up but she whimpered the slightest sigh and clutched into his chest again. He wrapped his arms securely around her slight body. He turned on his side and cuddled her to him relishing the warmth against his body she provided.
"Everything may not be back to normal." He whispered in her ear. "But this makes it a million times better." He kissed her forehead and drifted off himself for a late afternoon nap.
