co-written by RatedrKjErIcHo

"He's hurting. Thinking that his father doesn't love him is killing him. And it chips away at you too. You've got so much love and forgiveness in your heart. But John doesn't deserve any of it if he's willing to hurt you over and over again."

She sighed because a part of her knew he was right. "This whole thing is complicated." She said getting up and walking to the other side of the room. "I see how much Jacob is hurting. I'm not blind to it." She said. "But I'm worried what it might do to him to know he's been lied too his whole life."

Randy sighed and walked over to where she was. "I get the worry you have about this. I do. But it doesn't change that I want my son to know who I am. To know that his father loves him more than anything in the world." He looked at her. "Annie, you deserve better too. You are such a forgiving person. And he takes advantage of that. He always has." She looked at him. " I know I haven't been a saint to you. And I know I didn't deserve your forgiveness. But I'm right here and I love you and I love my son." He moved closer to her. "You gave me forgiveness when I didn't deserve it. You are the best person in the world." He leaned and kissed her.

She was shocked that he kissed her and even more shocked when she didn't pull away right away. She found herself kissing him back for a few minutes before she realized exactly what was happening. She pulled away and looked at him. "I should get Jacob and go."

"Annie, wait." He said to her. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable. You won't stop bring Jacob to see me will you?"

She looked at him. "Of course not. We will be back tomorrow." She said as she went into the bedroom and picked up Jacob who stayed asleep. She grabbed his bag and headed toward the door.

"Annie, I'm sorry."

"I know and I promise it's fine. I really should go. Payton will be out of school soon." He nodded and watched as she left. He hoped he didn't ruin anything. He would hate it if he did.

Annie put Jacob in the car and sat in the driver's seat for a minute trying to process what had just happened. Randy had said he loved her and Jacob. And then he kissed her. And she didn't pull away from him. She kissed him back. She wasn't afraid and it didn't feel wrong like she assumed it would. She took a breath and started the car and drove toward Payton's school. She would sort this out at home.

Randy sat in his room after they'd left. He couldn't believe that he'd done that. That he'd actually confessed his feelings to her and kissed her. He hadn't planned on it but once he got started, he had to tell her the truth. And kissing her didn't feel wrong. It felt right and he wished it had been more.

"Are you okay?" He heard from the door and saw Careena standing there.

"I don't know. Was I wrong?" He asked her. "I don't want this to effect my time with Jacob."

"You should never feel wrong or apologize for expressing your feelings."

"I just don't want anything to ruin my time with Jacob. I couldn't take not seeing him. And Annie."

Careena smiled at him. "I don't think you did that. Annie know how much you love Jacob and how much Jacob loves you. She would never stop bringing him to visit. She's bringing a cake tomorrow. Jacob's birthday is this weekend."

"His birthday." He said softly. "And the anniversary of everything I did to her on the day he was born." He sighed. "Why doesn't she hate me? She should. For everything I put her through. But she doesn't."

"She knows you're not the same person you once were."

"I want to believe that. I really, really do." He sighed. "But I'm worried it's not true. I'm worried I will be like that again."

"I've explained to you that the electroshock treatments..."

"One set fried my brain, the other unscrambled it. I know what you said."

"I'm not saying the guy you were before isn't in there. I'm just saying you can control him better. You're more equipped to do that now."

"Am I?" He asked.

"Yes, you are." She replied. She felt the baby kick and smiled. "If I didn't believe that and I didn't believe that they were torturing you back in London, we wouldn't have helped you. You're not a monster Randy. You're a good guy who's had some shitty breaks. But you can change that. You've already started. Jacob adores you."

"I know he does." He sighed. "But Annie? What does she see me as?"

"She sees you as her son's father and a different guy from the one she knew. Annie wants you in Jacob's life and I have a feeling that she will tell him that you're his father." She looked at him. "She sees the situation with John for what it is. She knows how much Jacob is hurting and how John is being. She's not blind too it. She just isn't sure what to do. I think she's conflicted and confused. But no matter what, she wants you in Jacob's life forever."

Randy nodded. "How's the baby?"

"Good. Kicking a good bit." She replied as Justin walked up.

"Careena, can I talk with you please?"

"Sure." She said and walked into the other room with him. "What's going on?" She asked him.

"I heard from the hospital in London." Justin replied.

"Okay.."

"They know Randy's gone and that we took him."

She looked at him. "What are they going to do? Did you talk to someone at the hospital? What did they say exactly?"

"They've given us a choice to bring him back or suffer the consequences. But we've done too much for him, too much good to take him back to that hell."

"So, what are we going to do?"

"Continue with therapy as normal. We're close to a major breakthrough. I can feel it. I'll deal with them when they come."

"Are they coming?"

"I don't know but I think it's a safe bet and they will probably tell whoever is paying for the treatments that he's alive and where he is."

"They know we're in Texas?"

"I guess so." She looked up at him and he could see the fear in her eyes. "I promise you I won't let anything happen to you." She nodded as he held her close.

Annie put the kids to bed after dinner. Payton had wanted to called John and Annie dialed the number but he didn't pick up. She figured he was busy with business or whatever he was doing. She sighed as she drew a hot bath. She just wanted to relax a little bit. She turned on the baby monitor and got into the tub. The kiss with Randy still on her mind. Why didn't she pull away? And why didn't it make her uncomfortable? Why had she liked it? She laid down in the bed after her bath and fell right to sleep thoughts of everything running through her mind. And that led to an interesting dream. She and Randy were in his bed, completely lost in each other and tangled up in the sheets. She could feel his body pressed against hers, his hands exploring her, his breath on her skin as his lips brought her endless pleasure. The dream felt so real and she felt so much as it continued. More than she had felt in so long with John.

She woke up with a gasp when she heard the alarm. She sat up in the bed. She couldn't believe that she dreamed about her and Randy. She told herself it was because he had kissed her. And sex with her and John wasn't like it was. She couldn't have feelings for Randy. She just couldn't.

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