I was in the same place I was before just this time Ray was not with me. I walked straight and I hit the same building I did before. I walked inside but this time the doors didn't close behind me. I kept walking until I hit the room Scott led me into. It was still Jared's room. Jared was still laying on the bed lifeless. I walked over to him.
"Jared?" I said.
Nothing. Why was I talking to an imaginary dead person? Was there something inside me that was telling me that he would reply back to me? Was this my happy Place? I looked around the room and it was exactly like Jared's real room. I looked through every nook and cranny and everything was the same. I walked back over to Jared.
"Jared? Can you hear me? If you can move or something." I said waiting for a glimmer of hope.
I waited for a moment. Reliving this horrible moment of seeing Jared's lifeless body hanging from ripped clothing just made me angry. I was just furious that I had to see him like that. I wanted to scream. I actually tried screaming but nothing came out. I guess my happy stopped me from speaking. That sucks. The longer I stood there looking at Jared the angrier I got.
I finally had enough. I ripped the clothes attached to the bedpost. Jared's lifeless body flopped back on the bed. I untied the cloth from his neck and chucked it across the room.
"Jared? Please, talk to me. I don't want my last conversation to you be sad. I didn't get to say goodbye. Please, move or something to let me know you can at least hear me." I said almost in tears.
So my happy place I can cry but I can't scream. Fuck, my logic fucking sucks. I just kept staring at Jared.
"Come Jared. This is my imagination. Wake up. Please?" I said closing my eyes.
When I opened my eyes nothing had happened. Great. I toughed the side of Jared's face and started walking away from Jared. Something grabbed my wrist. I quickly turned around. Jared's eyes were open and he was sitting up.
"Jared?" I said.
"Tom, why are you here? Can't you see everyone else left?" Jared said.
"I came to talk to you just one more time." I said.
"I didn't want to talk to you one more time." Jared said.
"Why?" I said.
"This was a tough time for me. Stop thinking about me. I don't want to be alive. Can't you see I'm not right in the head?" Jared said.
"I don't love you, Jared. I love Mark. I always have. I love you like I love Gerard. I would die for you and Gerard. Something was telling me to be with you just for a little while. I knew you were going to do something to get you in a hell a lot of trouble." I said.
"I did love you, Tom. I'm not going to lie but you are the reason I didn't do what I did earlier. Don't ever think Mark is the reason I died. I knew Pete was going to die when he did. I heard Mark talking with Pete. Pete was begging Mark to kill him. Mark was refusing. I watching Mark kill Pete. Mark was crying. I didn't say anything. Mark caught a glance at me watching. I slowly walked over to me and told me not to tell anyone. I told him to remember his promise." Jared said.
"I am going to be with Mark. I will never stopping thinking you, Jared. Don't tell me what to do. I won't stop thinking about you because you changed my life. You remind me a lot of Kari. You made me forget. You made me focus on Ray and not Scott." I said.
"Why are you here? You only come here when Scott pulls you in here." Jared asked.
"I have no clue. I'm with Mark and I saw Scott. Mark started getting my mind off Scott and told me to go to my happy place and now I'm here." I said.
"Tom?" Jared said.
"What?" I said.
"I'll cut you a deal." Jared said.
"What?" I said.
"Scott's weakness is you thinking he isn't real. Mark forces you to think Scott isn't real or gets your mind on something else. If you see Scott around you, find Mark. I'll be there. I'll be looking after you only if you're around Mark. You understand. Scott isn't real. Ray isn't real. I'm not real. We are all just in your head. When you are with Mark stay with him. He will not let Scott hurt you. No matter how real Scott looks he won't hurt you. Only you hurt yourself. Mark won't let you hurt anybody or yourself. I'll be watching after you. Think of me and not Scott Mostly think of Mark. You gotta go." Jared said staring into my eyes.
"Will you sing sometimes at night to me…since you are in my head?" I asked.
Jared gave me a big smiled and nodded.
"Throw me that piece of cloth you chucked over there. I have to died again. I'm sorry but that's how things work in here." Jared said.
"Just don't be dead when you visit me." I smiled.
He smiled back. I chucked the cloth back over to Jared.
"Farewell, Jared Leto." I said holding the door handle.
"Goodbye, Tom Delonge." Jared tying the cloth around his neck.
I shut the door and walked down the hallway. I can't believe Jared Leto told me that Scott and Ray weren't real but in my mind. I know he had said stuff like that before but for the first time…I actually believed him. I finally realized that Scott wasn't real. I walked past Scott. He as yelling at me. I couldn't hear me. He tried to grab my arms and legs and tried to stab me and kill me but He was out of reach and I wasn't scared of him anymore. Things started to move quicker. I was getting out of here fast but I was walking normally. I opened my eyes and shot up on a different bed then I was in with Mark in Jared's room. I was in my room and Gerard asleep in his bed beside mine. It was the middle of night.