A/N : First update of the week-end. I hope I will be able to add one more chapter before it's over. Thanks to all of you for reading!
"No Bull! She's off limit!"
"Why Boss? You know I have a thing for redheads and your friend is really bonny!"
Trevelyan glared daggers at the big Qunari sitting next to her. Most of her companions were there. They had dragged together several tables of the tavern to accommodate everyone along with the many bottles they had planned to drink that night.
"I know she is but you should forget about it. As I said, Lara is off limit! Don't give me a reason to punch you."
"Hahaha! Your punches aren't bad enough to scare me Boss" He laughed clapping his hand on his thigh.
"Even magical ice punch?" She said with a wide grin and Bull stopped laughing, instead of Varric Dorian and Blackwall who all laughed at the Qunari.
"Alright alright! I get it. But honestly why are you so protective with her? It's not as if I was going to convert her to the Qun! Just spend some quality time!"
"I know Bull, but she is more innocent on the subject than you might think! Way more innocent than you that's for certain."
"Reaaaally?" He said with a smirk at the corner of his lips. "Because you are no shy mouth when it comes to sex. Strange that your friend would be more uptight than you."
Alexis rolled her eyes and snatched a bottle of wine to refill her glass.
"I spent quite some time with mercenaries after the rebellion, remember? It got me plenty of occasions to loosen up on the subject!" Trevelyan said, insisting on the double meaning of her words with a grin that made them laugh.
"Yeah what was their name again, Iron Fist?" Varric asked putting down is tankard of ale. "You have to tell us more about it! A circle mage from a noble family who ends up in a mercenary company, you don't see that often."
"Yes Iron Fist. They operate mostly in the Free Marches and Antiva." Alexis said. "I spent a lot of time near Markham and Hercinia with them. And I ended up there because it was the safest place for me to be at the time. I couldn't stay with my family, people would have known I was there and Templars could have shown up at the door. So my father got this idea. If I was in a mercenary company I would be incognito and protected. Because even if word got out that they had a mage with them, no Templars chasing apostates in pairs or small groups would want to pick up a fight with them. He knew the commander of the Iron Fist from reputation and through some contacts, so he made a deal. And that was it! They took me in and even got paid for the eventual fighting for my protection."
She had pulled her necklace from underneath her clothes. Two silver pendants were hanging from it. One, the same that Lara had, an incomplete hourglass. Lydia had given it to them. It was a symbol meant to represent both their youthful impatience and the fact that a mage never stops learning, knowledge and magic being infinite. The second represented a small fist. Damian, the leader of the Iron Fist, had given it to her. She smiled at the memory.
"Sounds like a wise man your father!" Blackwall said and Alexis nodded, she loved her father, he was the only member of her family with whom she still had a strong bond. Somehow she still cared for her mother and her older brother and sister, but they had become strangers to her. Her father was the only one she could count on and who had done everything to protect her.
"You must have learned a lot of things with them." Blackwall continued. "They have quite a reputation in the Free Marches! And their commander, Damian Lockhart, he is known to be quite a swordsman."
"Yeah he is." Trevelyan confirmed. "And yes, I wasn't a bad fighter when I joined them, but I definitely got way better with them. Damian taught me a lot. It was hard, mostly at the beginning. I had spent nearly all my life in the circle, with all my basic needs tended to. It was difficult to acclimate to that new life. And he trained me really hard. But I'm grateful. Thanks to him now I can kick a Qunari's ass without my magic." She sneered at Bull.
"Don't get too cocky. You still used your naughty magic tricks the last time we spared!"
"Only because I know you like it when I fight dirty." She said teasing him, looking at him while running her tongue alongside her upper lip.
"Careful Boss or I might settle for the brunette with a nice ass for tonight."
"See, now it's Bull who wants to shove his Thing up people's arses!" Sera said loudly to Dorian so everyone around the table could hear it, driving laugh from everybody beside Cassandra who rolled her eyes and Solas who discreetly hid his smile behind his glass of wine.
The conversation went on, changing several times of subjects as they all laughed and rejoiced in the moment. The Breach was closed and they could catch their breath. They could savor the victory as if tomorrow held no battles. Alexis knew somehow that this wasn't over. What she and Dorian had seen in this dark future was proof of that. Someone, this Elder One, was behind the explosion of the Conclave and in her heart she knew she would have to face him. But not now, now was meant for celebration. So she poured herself another glass and joked and laughed. Relishing this moment shared with her friends.
Dorian was telling a story when Cullen walked into the tavern. Alexis found her gaze immediately enraptured by him. Never before a man had had such an effect on her. And the alcohol now running in her veins was making it hard to keep both her feelings and her wandering eyes at bay. He walked past their table, giving a quick nod to the people gathered there, and went to see some of his men who were sitting at a nearby table. They were just in front of Alexis which made it even harder for her to keep her gaze away from him.
She could be damned if in that moment all she could think of wasn't stripping him and pushing him onto a bed. She bit her lip and tried to look away, without success. Her eyes were still wandering on his broad shoulders and down his fine ass.
It's just because it has been a long time since you have slept with a man she thought to herself. He wouldn't be so enticing if you had had some kind of physical relief lately. It's only because of that, she kept repeating in her head yet knowing there was something else. Something she had a hard time admitting.
"Quit starring Frostbite."
The sound of Varric's voice steered her away from her reverie. She knew he had caught her looking at the Commander and somehow she managed to slap a convincing grin on her face while looking at the dwarf.
"Why? Because there's a "do not touch" sign on it doesn't mean I can't look at it!"
"You saucy minx!" Dorian said "Did I ever said that I love how your mind works?"
"You mean that you too like to watch the Commander's fine ass…set?" Alexis teased, drawing laughs from both Dorian and Varric.
"I have to admit I find your taste in men quite interesting, if not appealing. Thought I have to ask, why the "do not touch"? I'm sure he wouldn't mind!" Dorian added smiling brashly at her.
"Don't go there Dorian."
"Why not? Because I swear, sweetheart if you don't give it a try, I promise I will! It doesn't matter if I'm already outplayed by you in the matter, I just might earn myself a nice blush from the Commander, and it'll be worth it!"
"Outplayed by me?" She raised a brow at Dorian sounding dubious.
"You may be the last to have realized it sweetheart, but everybody, well I at least, have seen the looks you two throw at each other when you believe no one is looking."
"There is nothing to see." Trevelyan said, standing up and heading for the counter to order more ale and wine.
She had hoped it would gain her some time alone to clear her head and chase away Cullen from her thoughts but Dorian had another plan. He joined her, leaning against the wooden bar right next to her with a rascally smile on his face.
"Alexis, don't you forget that I have seen the two of you in this dark future. I know everything about your little secret, your hidden attraction, your shameful desires for the ravishing Commander. Call it whatever you like!"
She sighed, resting on her forearms, pointedly not looking at him.
"It's not as easy as you think Dorian."
"You like him and I'm pretty sure he likes you! That looks simple enough to me!"
"It is not." She said looking down and sounding miserable.
"Care to explain sweetheart?"
Alexis took a deep breath. She glanced at Cullen from the corner of her eyes and then settled them on Dorian, her friend, with whom she had been through this dark future.
"I it's just… too hard… I can't. You don't know what it's like, you're from Tevinter! But here in the south, if you're a mage you can't let yourself be close to someone, even worse love someone. In the Circle it gave Templar too much power if there was someone you cared about and you couldn't stand to lose. And outside the circle well, you're just a mage, not regular people. And it justifies using you and locking you up. So I can't…it's just…" She sighs, looking down. "Cullen was a Templar, no good can come of it."
"You're no longer in the Circle Alexis. And he is no longer a Templar. There is no good excuse for you not to try."
She knew Dorian was trying to help her, in his own way. But he couldn't understand. He couldn't fathom how broken her heart had been in the past. He couldn't imagine the suffering she had been through nor how lousy she was when dealing with a man she cared about. Sex she could handle, love, she couldn't.
"I know but… It's not only that. To survive I have grown stronger and I don't bend to just anyone's will. I'm not soft. I'm the kind of woman men like to fuck once in a while because they sometimes need something rough, and they can't go rough with the miss at home. But what they want at home and in their everyday life is soft and obedient. Most men and warriors especially, would never stay with a woman who can stand up to them, someone like me."
She bit her lips looking away. Her experience in life had led her to believe that. She had suffered enough not to let herself hope that one day it could be different.
"Well trust me on that part. I'm sure the Commander doesn't care about soft and obedient, he cares about you."
Alexis looked at Dorian and then let her gaze slipped away to Cullen who was still standing near to his soldiers, completely unaware of the discussion involving him. Could she allow herself to care about him? She wanted to, so why was it so hard to let herself feel again.