Study of the Heart

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Chapter 25

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"What's wrong with you?" Neji frowned at Sai, who looked slightly green, rather than his standard ivory complexion. "Are you sick?" he drew away slightly, not really wanting Sai to vomit on his new white traveling robes.

"What's going on?" Temari moved forward from the back of the group, "Are you sick, Sai? Do we need to stop so the medic-nin can look you over?" she sounded rather annoyed that he was threatening to interrupt her neatly scheduled trip.

"Maybe someone poisoned him." Gaara suggested calmly, glancing at the other Leaf ninja. "This happens sometimes when you are a dignitary."

"Someone tried to poison me once." Temari nodded knowingly and patted Sai's back. "It's okay. We'll put them to death for you if you know who it was. We have a strict zero tolerance poisoning policy when it comes to guests of the Kazekage."

"Temari!" Kankurou started laughing. "I'm pretty sure they didn't poison you because you were from the Sand! It's probably because you're such a loudmouth all the time!"

"I'm going to poison you." She hissed at her older brother in aggravation.

"No one poisoned me." Sai finally spoke up, feeling rather queasy and finally rushing to a nearby dune where he emptied his stomach. "Ugh…I had alcohol. I had too much alcohol."

"I didn't know you were such a partier, Sai!" Kankurou did not seem put off at all by his sister's threats, but then, anyone who had Gaara as a sibling must have grown very used to death threats early in life. "I can't believe you went out drinking without me! I could've gotten time off from the Dictator Temari to go out with you."

"Would you please stop calling me that?" she glared at her brother, but he ignored her again, so she turned on Sai. "I have to say, as a foreign dignitary it's really very foolish of you to overindulge to this point! You knew that you'd be traveling today, why would you do something so stupid?"

"Leave him alone, Temari." Kankurou slung an arm around Sai, who felt sure he would collapse under the sudden weight, and did in fact wobble momentarily. "He had a fun time! Maybe if you'd let loose once in a while you'd be able to get that stick out of your ass."

"You are the least professional advisor ever!" she hissed at him, indicating the honor guard of ten jounin preceding them. "What if they can hear you? What would they think?"

"That I'm right." He shrugged. "Maybe one of them would take you out and show you a good time, come on Temari, let loose once in a while. Sai knows what I'm saying, right?"

"Ugh…I think I will be sick again." Sai barely got clear of the group in time to vomit again. "I am never drinking alcohol again. Last time, I said I never would, and I regret my decision to try it once more. It is horrible."

"I will have to reprimand Atsuko for letting you get out of control." Temari shook her head, her lips pulled tight.

"Whatever, Atsuko was probably matching him drink for drink!" Kankurou told her. "Did you know, Sai, when she isn't running errands for Temari, Atsuko's actually a lot of fun."

"Uh…yes." Sai felt even sicker than ever as he recalled that morning, waking up in bed with the red-haired Sand ninja. He had been horrified from the vague memories he had of the previous night. She had done something to him that he was pretty sure you weren't supposed to do with other girls when you had a girlfriend. He would have to look up what it was called, but other than the fact that he was pretty sure he wasn't supposed to be engaging in these activities with anyone but Sakura, he did recall that it had felt amazing for the period of time that he had remained conscious. Before she could wake up, he had hurriedly gathered his things, dressed, and fled.

Now he was trying to get over his hangover and decide what he was supposed to do after that about what had happened. He remembered how Ino had reacted to Temari holding Shikamaru's arm, and that had been a lot less intimate than what Atsuko had done, so he was pretty positive Sakura would be rather angry, to say the least. However, he felt it was wrong to keep things from her, so he was torn. He would need advice, clearly.

Once he had gone a whole hour without vomiting, Sai decided he was ready to deal with his other problems, so he approached Neji, who edged away from him, clearly expecting him to be sick again, so Sai reached out and grabbed his sleeve, causing him to look at Sai in outright alarm.

"You had better not puke on me." Neji told him in a tone that threatened quick and painful retribution. "This robe is new."

"No, I feel fine." Sai shook his head. "I need to ask you a question."

"Let go of my arm, then." Neji brushed off Sai's hand. "Gaara can see us, you know." Sai glanced over and noticed that Gaara was glaring at him as though he was about ten seconds from experiencing first hand the Desert Coffin technique.

"No one ever trusts me." Sai grumbled slightly. "I do not want your body, as hot as I am sure that Gaara finds it. I respect the Kazekage's taste, but I prefer lady bodies. You are safe with me, I assure you."

"Whatever, just ask your question already." Neji replied, his tone agitated as he eyed Sai, still clearly suspecting that he might get vomit on his new robe. "And it better not have anything to do with Gaara and me."

"Not specifically." Sai shook his head. "I wanted to ask you…hm, a hypothetical question. If you were to, hypothetically, find that you had engaged in illicit activities with another girl—I mean, another man. If you found that you had done things of that nature with a man, but you had been very drunk, would you keep it a secret from Gaara, or would you try to explain the situation to him?"

"Ha!" Kankurou could clearly hear them, and laughed at this question. "I think he'd be fucking crazy to tell Gaara! Gaara would kill him and the other guy and probably half the village." Everyone looked over at the eldest Sand sibling and he shrugged. "I mean, I'm just guessing, but I've noticed he's just a little possessive."

"What would you do, Neji?" Gaara's voice was dripping with the promise of imminent violence, and Sai suddenly felt that he should never have touched Neji, nor should he ever have asked such a question in Gaara's range of hearing.

"I…would never do something like that." Neji answered, going slightly pale. "But if I did, I would tell Gaara. He would understand."

"You are so whipped!" Kankurou burst into laughter, which faded away suddenly as he found sand forcibly wrapping around his neck. "I mean…yeah, that sounds right."

"Well, if you ask what I think," Temari began, only to be cut off.

"We didn't." Kankurou couldn't resist, and Temari smacked him in the back of the head for his cheek.

"As I was saying," she cleared her throat and turned to Sai. "I don't think it is right to blame it on the alcohol, honestly, but I think it would be better to be honest rather than keep it secret."

"So you're saying," Kankurou turned to his sister. "Let's say you're dating the guy of your dreams, and you're all in love. You make a mistake, get really drunk, and end up in bed with some other guy, and you can barely even remember it, so really, it doesn't count. But you're going to ruin your perfect relationship with this guy because you fucked up once? I mean, why does he need to know about that?"

"First of all, if I'm in such a perfect relationship, why am I sleeping with other men? And what do you mean it doesn't count? Honestly, I'm going to warn any girl you date against you!" Temari told him vehemently.

"Of course it doesn't count if you don't remember it." Kankurou turned to Sai. "In this story, does the person remember it?"

"Sort of." Sai frowned slightly.

"Wait!" Kankurou's eyes went wide. "Wait! This is about you, isn't it!? You got really drunk and hooked up with some girl last night, didn't you!? You totally did! I totally underestimated you, Sai! Way to go!"

"What?!" Temari's eyes also widened and she turned to Sai in a rage. "Tell me you did not defile one of my ninja!"

"Well," Sai rubbed the back of his head hesitantly. "I don't think I did anything. She did all the work."

"That's it!" Kankurou turned to Gaara. "I want to be ambassador from now on. Temari is wasting that job! She can be advisor, we're trading."

"You can't just trade." Temari glared at her brother, hitting him upside the head again. "Honestly. Like being an ambassador is about seducing foreign ninja. Sai!" she turned on him, and he quailed slightly under the power of her glare. "Did you have sex with my ninja?"

"No," Sai shook his head vehemently. "I did not stick it in her, I know. However, I am not sure what it is called. She put it in her mouth…" he held his hand in an o gesture and moved his mouth to demonstrate. "And went like that until I was done."

"That would be a blow job." Neji was looking probably more dignified than anyone ever had when uttering that phrase.

"Oh, yes, thank you, Neji." Sai nodded. "I know how to do some of these things, but the phrases are still evading me…"

"Who did that to you?" Kankurou was laughing, and evading Temari's attempts to hit him again. "Who did it? Was it Atsuko!? It was! I can tell by your face! You totally hooked up with her! Way to go!"

"Would you stop that!" Temari scolded him before turning on Sai. "I cannot believe you! Did you really do that with Atsuko!?"

"As I said, I really didn't do anything, she simply put it in her mouth, and I lay there." Sai explained, and winced as she hit him this time.

"You are not supposed to be fooling around with your escort! Atsuko was assigned to guide you around and make sure that you were taken care of! Not to…do dirty things with you!" Temari scolded him. "You should be ashamed of yourself, taking advantage of her like that!"

"Actually, I think she may have taken advantage of me." Sai informed them all. "You see, she was the one that gave me the wine, and then she came to bed with me and took all my clothes off, and she said she wanted for me to come back, and then she—"

"Enough! You don't have to explain the whole thing again." Temari shook her head and rubbed at her eyes in frustration.

"Well, I think I'd come back if she did that to me." Kankurou offered helpfully, dodging another thwack from Temari. "Was she good?" this time, Temari did hit him, and he nursed a lump on his head, looking as though he'd done nothing wrong while Temari rolled her eyes.

"This is probably the worst thing I've ever heard of. I don't know whether to punish Atsuko, banish you from ever visiting our village again, or both!" Temari threw up her hands. "I hope you're happy."

"If it is against the rules, is that why you never told Shikamaru how you felt?" Sai asked her, a thoughtful look on his face, and Temari immediately went bright red. Kankurou started laughing again and even Neji and Gaara looked at each other in slight surprise. "Wait…I am sorry. I was not supposed to tell them that, was I?" Sai apologized, and Temari blustered inaudibly under her breath.

"Yes!" Kankurou punched the air in excitement. "Good job on the secret intelligence, Sai. Anything else to tell us that's awesome? Not that there's much that can top what you've already done. Seriously, you're the best foreign escort thing ever. As advisor, I'm putting in a formal request to make Sai our permanent liaison with Konoha."

"I don't think so." Gaara frowned at him, and Kankurou snorted in annoyance.

"Come on! Just because he hooked up with Atsuko doesn't mean his next stop is Neji!" Kankurou pleaded. "Look, see, Sai's straight! He likes the ladies, he said before, right?"

"I do like the ladies." Sai nodded solemnly.

"So see, Neji's ass is safe." Kankurou clapped Gaara on the shoulder. "No one's going to steal your pretty-boy boyfriend."

"Can you please stop talking about me as though I am not right here?" Neji asked, his tone still completely dignified, as though they were having a much more appropriate conversation than they actually were.

"Shut up, princess." Kankurou retorted, and Temari stifled a laugh, suddenly forgetting her own embarrassment.

"Kankurou, your pay will be docked for the next month." Gaara spoke up in a calm tone. "For insubordination."

"To your boyfriend?" Kankurou asked, outraged.

"To your superior." Gaara corrected. "I gave Neji the post of senior advisor last night."

"What, while he was going down on you? Really fair governmental system there, Gaara." Kankurou grumbled.

"I would not deny having biases in my postings." Gaara turned a cool mint glare on his brother. "After all, while Temari has excelled in her position, I think the only thing that has kept you in your own post has been my lenience toward you, brother."

"Wait!" Temari pointed suddenly at Sai. "In your story, there was cheating. Do you have a girlfriend!?"

"Ah, yes." Sai suddenly wished they had forgotten about him. "Haruno Sakura and I have been dating for two and a half months now."

"It's okay, it doesn't count." Kankurou assured him. "You don't remember it. Plus, you said she did all the work. Just tell Sakura she forced you."

"You can't do that!" Temari cut in. "Sai, you have to tell her what you did, and you can't just blame it on anything else! You're a man, so you have to take responsibility, and beg her for forgiveness, and if you're lucky she might give you a second chance, but I sincerely do not approve of cheating—"

"Yeah, what if Shikamaru cheated on Ino with you?" Kankurou asked, and she punched him so hard he fell over, winded. One of the honor guard came back after a moment, looking completely unsurprised, as though this happened all the time, scooped up the temporarily immobile Sand sibling, and joined the rest of the guard while Temari dove back into her tirade against the evils of cheating.

For once, Sai regretted asking for advice.

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To be continued…