A/N: This, I'm afraid to say is the last proper chapter. There will be an epilogue to come. To those of you who've stuck with me on this story for over a year now, thank you. It wouldn't have got this far without your support.
This chapter goes out to kvaker81, whose love for this story has inspired me to actually try to finish it. It also goes out to FitchSwitch who's been like my personal cheerleader on lots of fics recently and who bombarded me with Keffy goodness last night to motivate me to write. And last, but not least, it goes out to coolbeans17 for helping me out with the part of this chapter I found hardest to write.
Disclaimer: I don't own Skins or the characters (but I wish I did).
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Effy pinned Katie against her bedroom door in a searing kiss before it was even fully closed behind them. She knew what was coming from Katie and she wanted to delay it if she could. She couldn't hear it yet. She couldn't say it yet. She wasn't sure...she thought...she'd never really loved anyone before. Not like this. How could she be sure that what she felt for Katie was really love? She may never have felt this before but that didn't necessarily mean that...except it did, and she knew it, and it terrified her.
"Ef," Katie gasped into Effy's mouth. Passion was already starting to well up inside of her, but she wanted to tell Effy. Now that she'd admitted it to herself, now that she'd accepted it and embraced it she had to get it out of her.
Effy slid her leg up between Katie's legs and leaned in, making sure there was contact between her thigh and Katie's cunt. Katie's head fell back against the door as a small gasp escaped her lips. Effy took this opportunity to kiss down Katie's neck, coming back up to pay special attention to the point she'd discovered just behind Katie's earlobe, flicking her tongue out against it, then covering the damp spot with her lips, knowing it'd further distract Katie.
"Fuck," Katie moaned, all coherent thoughts leaving her head as lust and desire took her over. 'I love yous' could wait. Right now she had more pressing needs.
She laced her fingers through Effy's hair and tugged until Effy's lips were back on hers.
They tripped together towards the bed, Katie collapsing on top of Effy as Effy attempted to pull Katie's top over her head.
Katie straddled Effy and impatiently finished yanking her own top off before returning her lips to Effy's. Except Effy was wearing far too many articles of clothing. "Off," she gasped into Effy's ear, tugging at her top.
Effy had to smirk at just how much Katie wanted her right now, as Katie sat up and they peeled off her top together. It was nice knowing that Katie was just as affected as she was, that she wanted her just as badly.
Effy's nervousness, her emotional panicking of minutes before, was now the furthest thing from her mind. She wanted Katie. She wanted to touch her, to taste her everywhere. She licked her lips unconsciously at that last idea. She hadn't wanted to push the issue, but she'd been dying to properly taste Katie, to bury her head between Katie's legs and not come out until Katie was bucking into her mouth and screaming her name as she shuddered in ecstasy.
Katie caught the sudden gleam in Effy's eyes, noting how her pupils seemed to grow even larger as Effy gazed up at her with a look of pure, unadulterated lust. It made Katie's knickers flood. "What?" she asked, nerves suddenly tugging at her stomach out of nowhere.
"I want you," Effy rasped.
Katie swallowed hard. Fuck, right in this moment, she'd never wanted Effy more. "I –" she attempted to say something, anything, but words failed her as her mouth went dry.
Effy saw her desire echoed back in Katie's big brown eyes, and she knew she couldn't resist, couldn't hold back. She had to have her, all of her. Now.
She grabbed Katie's arse and in one swift movement flipped them over so that Katie was lying on the bed beneath her.
It took her barely a minute to divest Katie of her bra and skirt, kissing her the whole while, but it felt far too long. Once Katie was before her in just her knickers, though, Effy had to stop and take her in, letting her eyes trace over her gorgeous girlfriend, absorbing every detail of her porcelain skin and firm, rounded breasts and shy smile and lustful gaze. God, she was gorgeous.
Effy pinned Katie to the bed in a fierce kiss, letting all of the emotions that she couldn't even think, let alone say aloud, be conveyed through it. She ran her hands down Katie's sides, feeling each bump of her ribs as it passed beneath her touch. "God, Katie," she gasped, almost letting herself be overwhelmed by the sudden surge of feelings.
Katie's hands tightened on her back, holding her closer, kissing her deeper.
Effy knew what she really wanted, just then, though, and as much as she loved Katie's lips, they weren't what she was dying to kiss.
She scooted down, breaking the kiss despite Katie's small cry when she did so, soothing it away as she kissed down Katie's neck, then her chest, stopping briefly to play with Katie's incredible tits. She could never really pass them by completely, even with such an enticing destination in mind. She licked at Katie's nipples, flicking her tongue against the hard nubs before biting them gently and then soothing them each with a kiss.
She kissed her way down Katie's stomach, pausing to lick from time to time as she slipped her fingers under the elastic of Katie's knickers and started to slide them down. As she kissed lower she could smell Katie's excitement and it was fucking intoxicating. She breathed in deep before pulling back so she could slide Katie's knickers off over her feet, and then she slid back up between her legs, staring hungrily at her destination.
Fuck, Katie was gorgeous. Really and truly stunning everywhere.
Katie's breath hitched as she realised exactly what Effy was doing, and fuck if she didn't look incredibly fucking sexy slinking back up between her legs. She swallowed hard as Effy's hands spread her legs wider.
Effy kissed tenderly along Katie's thighs, letting her senses guide her as she moved closer to Katie's glistening cunt.
A small whimper from Katie was all the encouragement Effy needed to finally surge all the way forward and place a hard kiss on Katie's clit.
Katie's hips bucked up automatically. She felt like her entire body was on fire, sparking from the place where Effy's lips touched her.
Effy pulled back and licked her lips, humming contentedly as she tasted the sweet tangy taste that was Katie's very essence. She focused her eyes on the glorious sight before her and licked her lips again. "Fuck me, you're gorgeous," she murmured before surging forward again and licking the length of Katie's pussy with the flat of her tongue.
Effy's moan as she tasted her vibrated through Katie's cunt and filtered through her, sending a shiver up her spine and desire burning through her. She needed more. She hadn't thought she'd be ready for this yet, but she loved Effy and Effy was – Fuck. Effy was flicking her tongue against her clit.
Effy let her tongue explore as she savoured the taste of Katie. She left no place untouched as she lavished attention between Katie's legs. Now that she had tasted her, she wasn't sure she ever wanted to stop.
Katie's hand tangled in Effy's hair, holding her close as her hips bucked up of their own accord. The sensations running through her were nothing short of explosive and she wasn't going to last long if Effy kept at her like this, but she didn't fucking care. It was mind-blowing. "Fuck, Ef!" she moaned as she felt herself quickly approaching the edge.
Katie calling her name only spurred Effy on. She nipped at Katie's clit with her teeth, then sucked it into her mouth.
"God! Fuck! I'm goooonnaaa...fuck...Efffffy! I'm gonna cuuuuuuum –"
Effy resumed licking all around Katie's cunt as she felt her girlfriend's legs start to shake. She didn't stop as Katie's back arched off the bed and her hand tangled even tighter in her hair.
Katie's mind ceased to function as she exploded into the most intense orgasm she'd ever felt. She was unaware of her body or her actions or her thoughts or of anything at all beyond the sensation of Effy's tongue on her and the massive waves of orgasm that were crashing down on her.
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Effy brought Katie down slowly, but even still, when she scooted back up the bed having licked her lips and cleaned her face with the sheet a little, Katie was still lying there in a daze.
Effy smiled down at her, taking a moment to just let her eyes trace over Katie's beautiful face. She'd never seen her more serene...or perhaps serene wasn't quite the right word. More like blissed out and loved up.
She stroked Katie's hair softly. "You okay?"
She kissed Katie tenderly, and Katie finally responded, her lips meeting Effy's with a sudden intensity.
Katie shuddered as she tasted herself on Effy's lips and her tongue. She felt almost surreal as she kissed her in her post-orgasm daze. It took her a minute to properly realise what she was doing and what had just happened. When she did, she broke away from Effy and smiled at her. "You're amazing, Ef," she murmured, unable to take her eyes off of Effy's stunning blue ones.
She felt herself get lost for a minute as Effy's eyes bored into her, caring visible in them. Katie took in her whole face. She looked happy and healthy. She'd truly changed and Katie could see it written on her face.
"I love you," Katie whispered, unable to hold it in any longer.
Effy froze. Her jaw set and her eyebrows furrowed. She pulled back, and Katie could practically see her recoiling emotionally as well.
"No, Effy, don't!" she said, voice stern. "Effy, don't you fucking dare!" she added, sounding a bit more frantic as Effy climbed off the bed and pulled her dress back on. She stood up quickly and pulled the sheet off the bed, tugging angrily when it got stuck at the bottom of the bed a bit, then wrapped it around her. "Effy, I –"
"Don't say it again. Don't!" Effy said, backing away towards a corner of the room.
"Ef –"
"No!" she shouted, fear evident in your voice. "People who say they love me always leave me. ALWAYS! I can't have you leave me, Katie. Please!" Her eyes were wide and pleading as they met Katie's, and Katie felt her heart break a little.
"I'm not going to leave you, Ef. I'd never leave you."
Effy shook her head. "You're just saying that. Anyone who's ever claimed to love me...Anyone I've ever...They've all left me, Katie! All of them! Tony left, my dad left, my mum's here but she may as well have left for the amount that she's mentally been in this house in the past year! And Freddie and Cook...They all thought they knew me and none of them did, but you...If you leave me..." Effy faded out and wrapped her arms around herself. She couldn't deal with this. She'd been dreading those words from Katie because she knew it only meant that Katie would leave. Even if her heart had soared at hearing the words, her mind had frozen in terror.
"Why would I leave you? Give me one good reason you believe that I'd leave you, Ef? I fucking LOVE you! You! The you that I've got to properly know over the past few months. The you that I've seen grow and change into someone that's better than this. You're better than someone who runs from love, Ef, and I love you. I can't pretend I don't when I do any longer! I've wanted to say it for weeks, and I couldn't but after today...After what happened at school...I can't deny it. Don't make me deny it. I'm not going anywhere," Katie pleaded, moving closer and closer to Effy who was now stationery in her corner, back against the wall. "You've changed, I've changed, and I love you...All of you. Please, let me love you, Ef," she whispered the last words as she reached Effy, and opened her arms to her.
Effy felt her brain rage in inner turmoil, but her heart knew exactly what it wanted, and at Katie's words it had started to pound out its own message of love against the inside of Effy's ribcage. It was her heart that made her surge forward into Katie's arms. It was the anxiety in her mind that made her cling to Katie so tightly she was probably going to bruise her. "Don't leave me. Please."
"I won't," Katie murmured into Effy hair, stroking it softly.
"I can't – I can't say it, Katie...I can't –"
"Shhh," Katie soothed. "I don't need to hear it. I just needed to tell you."
She felt Effy nod against her chest.
"Let's get back in bed, okay?" she coaxed.
Effy nodded again. She let Katie lead her back to bed, then snuggled tightly against her, clinging to her like her life depended on it. Katie was right about one thing, she knew as they lay there, Katie whispering comforting nothings into her hair and calmingly rubbing circles on her back, Katie had changed, and she was fucking incredible.
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It was dark in her room when Effy awoke. The red glowing numbers of the alarm clock on her bedside table informed her that it was just past two in the morning. She and Katie must have fallen asleep.
Effy's mind began to race at the thought of Katie. Katie who had said she loved her. Katie whom she...Effy took a deep breath and felt Katie curled protectively around her.
It hit her then, just what had made her react like she had earlier, more so even than the reasons she'd given Katie at the time. She was scared that she herself hadn't changed enough. She wasn't sure she deserved Katie's love. With her parents, they were supposed to love her, she was owed their love by her birthright, or that was the theory at least. Her dad had already shown that that love could be taken away and turned into hostility and her mum...Well, she still wasn't convinced by the recent changes she'd seen in her mum. Her brother was supposed to love her, but he'd left and hadn't come back despite things spiralling downwards. Freddie and Cook and even JJ...she may have encouraged them, but she knew deep down that what they really felt wasn't true love, so it didn't matter to her whether she deserved their love or not. With Katie...With Katie there was no doubting the sincerity. She could see the love burning in her eyes, she could feel the purity of it in her soul, and even now in this protective embrace from her slumbering lover she felt the love emanating from her. And she just couldn't bring herself to believe that she deserved a love like that. What if the love she felt back for Katie wasn't the same? What if it wasn't good enough? What if it wasn't real enough? She couldn't break Katie's heart. She couldn't make Katie leave her. And yes, she realised, she did love her. She couldn't say it. It scared her shitless just to think it, but she couldn't deny it. Not anymore.
But what if it wasn't enough?
She should let Katie go. Maybe Katie wouldn't leave her, but maybe she should leave Katie. If you love someone let them go, right?
She started to slide stealthily to the other side of the bed, but Katie's arm tightened around her.
"Don't you fucking dare, Stonem. I'm not going anywhere and neither are you," Katie's voice was sleepy but firm.
Effy turned slowly in Katie's arms to find dark eyes watching her, barely visible by the faint light coming in through the window from the street.
Katie looked into Effy's wide eyes and sighed. "I know you, Ef. Don't run from me. Don't run from this. I'm not Freddie or Cook or Tony or your mum or your dad. I'm me, and I know how far you've come. I know how far I've come, and I know I couldn't have done it without you. We're good together, Ef. I know it's taken me forever to tell you that, but it's true."
Effy felt herself melt at Katie's words, smirking slightly at the sexy husk in her voice from having just woken up.
"Promise me you won't run."
Effy settled back down in Katie's arms and nodded. "Promise," she agreed.
Her anxieties still raged inside her, but hearing Katie's voice, being there in her arms, she felt stronger. "Tell me we'll work out?"
Katie smiled, then kissed her tenderly. "You already know we will. You're annoyingly all-knowing, remember?"
Effy let out a small laugh. With it, it felt like a weight was lifted off her chest. She nodded. "Tell me again anyway?"
"Effy Stonem, I love you and I love being with you. We'll work out. We'll make sure we have a happy ending. I think we both fucking deserve it," Katie murmured, any hints of insecurities she might've had melting away.
Effy closed her eyes and took a deep breath. She knew that Katie believed what she said, and that made her believe it more too. When she opened her eyes again, she found Katie still watching her.
"You're amazing, Katie Fitch."
Katie smiled. "You better believe it, babes."