Chapter Nineteen
When Merlin woke up, he was on fire.
There was screaming, and yelling, but the flame finally died out.
"Is it safe to hug you?" I asked.
"Yes," Merlin said, smiling at me. When I stepped out of his embrace, he was almost tackled by Arthur.
"What's wrong?" Merlin asked.
"Nothing," Arthur said quietly. "I just…missed you."
Merlin knew that it was more than that, but he left it at that.
"How long have I been under?" he asked me.
"Six hours longer than I've been under," I said, sighing. "We've been trying to keep time but it's sort of difficult," I gestured to the clocks, which Merlin noticed were missing their hands.
"I need a drink," Merlin announced.
"Big surprise," I muttered. "Can you make more?"
"More what?" Merlin asked.
"Alcohol," Arthur said. "We're running out."
Merlin looked back and forth between the two of them. "You aren't kidding. How?"
"Everyone had a rough time in their fake dream test thing," I said.
"Dreamscape," Merlin corrected.
"Dreamscape?" Loki asked, recognizing the word, before groaning, "Of course."
"What's a dreamscape?" John asked. The rest of the gang had started gathering around the bar after Merlin started talking.
Merlin explained as he started duplicating the alcohol. "A dreamscape is sort of like a pocket dimension like this one, except it's in your brain. It's where your subconscious is, where all of your dreams and thoughts are kept. You don't even remember them. But it's still all stored there. All your memories, whether you've forgotten them or they've been done away with a spell. It keeps records of every thought you've ever thought, of every dream you've had, sleeping or awake. The more memories you have, the bigger your dreamscape is. Also, depending on the way you think, some might be easier to maneuver than others."
"We think that people have been staying under because they have the most guilt, but this might be the real cause," Harry said.
"No, it's got to be a combination of the two," I said. "Loki was the second to wake up, and Thor wasn't too long after. They're both hundreds or thousands of years old."
"How old are you?" Tony asked, turning to them.
Loki shrugged. "Lost count after a couple hundred years. Been able to keep a general count, but we're probably off a couple hundred years or so of our real ages. I'd say we're both somewhere around eight hundred or so. But we could be six hundred, or a thousand. I don't really remember."
"You know how we remember some things more than others?" I asked.
"Like what?" Merlin asked.
"Like the things we regret," I said. I almost wondered if I was revealing too much about my own dreamscape.
"What about it?" he asked.
"Would those thoughts overcome more of our dreamscape?" I asked.
"Yes," he said quietly.
"So we were right," I said. "The guiltiest people have heavier thoughts in their dreamscapes. And the ones who've lived longer have more thoughts and actions to weigh on their minds."
"Yes," Merlin said. "The longer you live, the more thoughts you have bombarding you about your choices…"
"…the longer you're under," I finished, sighing.
After a pause, Tony said, "I think I need another drink."
"Coming right up," Merlin said. "I'm starting to understand why we're running out."