A/N Trigger warnings in this chapter and the next one for suicide attempt. Please do not read if this will bring back any unwanted painful memories. xx
CRYING SILENTLY
"Kurt..." Jeff called after the hobbling boy, his limp was more pronounced as he partially ran to get away from everyone. Jeff was really worried about his new friend; he didn't seem to be looking after himself. "Kurt please hold up?" Jeff cried desperately grabbing the boys arm, stopping him in his tracks.
"Jeff just leave it okay!" Kurt snapped at the blonde boy, instantly regretting it when he saw him flinch. He knew that Jeff was just looking out for him after the run in with Blaine, but he just wanted to be left alone.
"I'm fine!" Kurt said trying to sound convincing but he was a mixture of anger and hurt.
"Really?.. Because after what Blaine said, just ignore him, he's an ass.." Jeff placed his hand gently on the other boys arm; he didn't believe for one second that Kurt was okay. "He just..."
"He called me a liar Jeff, I know I saw him get in that car...I was so worried about him, we all were, and he lied to us... and then he ... why did he lie? " Kurt didn't want to think about the other stuff that Blaine had said, he couldn't deal with that as well as deal with the fact Blaine had lied right to his face.
"I don't know Kurt, but are you sure that it was him you saw? " Jeff felt unsettled as he watched Kurt's forehead furrow even more, because Jeff was now calling him on what he had supposedly seen. "I mean I'm not calling you a liar or anything, just maybe you were mistaken, I mean, Sebastian kind of made out that Blaine was with him, that they were, you know together..."
Jeff rambled as he watched Kurt's face fall, he didn't want to not believe Kurt but, he had been forgetting his meds lately and Jeff was sure he was skipping meals. He wasn't sure what the effects were if you just suddenly stopped taking the tablets, he had never been in Kurt's situation himself.
"You... You don't believe me" It was more of a statement than a question as Kurt's voice broke slightly.
"Kurt I'm not saying..." Jeff tried to back track as he started to feel sick in his stomach, the last thing Kurt needed was his so called friend thinking he was a liar or making it up.
"Just... leave me alone Jeff! " Kurt took a step back raising his hands in front of him stopping Jeff from reaching for him. He couldn't help the tears that had started to fall, the hurt he felt was unbearable as he turned and walked away from the blonde boy, ignoring the pain in his ankle as he hurried towards his dorm.
"Kurt please, I'm sorry" Jeff cried out after his friend, he felt like shit, fucking Blaine fucking Anderson, Jeff thought to himself as his forehead furrowed.
Jeff watched as Kurt ran away from him, god he felt like such a shit. He knew that Kurt would not have handled him thinking he was mistaken about Blaine, especially after what happened at his previous school.
God he was a shit friend, he needed to fix this somehow, he needed Neil. Needed to feel him in his arms to help him stay grounded, to just make everything alright, but he needed to do one thing first before he went looking for his fiance.
Jeff pulled his phone out of his pocket and sighed, i should have done this before now he thought as he dialled Finns number. Things were getting to out of hand and he felt it was his fault.
Kurt all but ran to his door, he couldn't bear to be around anyone at the moment, his tears fell freely as he scrambled into his room. He slammed the door behind him and slid to the floor, his hand covering his mouth as he tried to quieten the sobs that came from him, his body visibly shaking.
This was supposed to be a fresh start for him, a new beginning, but ever since he came here, ever since he had found his old friend everything was sliding out of control, back to how it was before.
Kurt buried his head into his drawn up knees, he couldn't go through this again.
"You go to be okay?" David asked Neil as he watched him sitting on the bed, he was worried about him. He had noticed that the boy hadn't been right for a couple of days, and now he just seemed so lost. He would need to have a word with Jeff, find out if anything had happened. No one wanted a repeat performance of the last time.
"I'll be fine David, Jeff will be here soon" Neil smiled up at the other boy, trying to convince him that he would be okay on his own. "Go and find Wes he will need you."
David nodded he was really worried about the Asian boy, he had been quiet as soon as he had seen Blaine. He knew how worried he had been about him, how stressed he had been. He thought that Wes would have ripped into his best friend, let go of some of that stress but, he hadn't aid anything, just stood and watch everything play out. That had worried David more than the shouting and chucking things around the room. When Wes went quiet like that it meant that he was at the end of his wits, he closed in on himself and it was up t David or Blaine to bring him back round. Now it was just up to David to sort out his friend being as Blaine was the reason Wes was at that point.
"Okay, call me if Jeff isn't back soon" David said pointing his finger at Neil, raising his eyebrows as he made sure Neil understand that in no certain terms was he to sit here alone all night, wallowing.
"Fine" Neil rolled his eyes as he gave David a small reassuring smile, or he tried to anyway. "go and make sure Wes is okay"
David paused slightly before turning and leaving the room, closing the door to the room behind himself he walked away to his own dorm, he didn't notice the boy hovering around the corner who slipped in through the closed door.
Jeff walked into his dorm; he had been on the phone for about a couple of hours talking to Finn, filling him in. He had managed to stop Finn from speeding down to Dalton and kicking Blaine's ass and dragging Kurt out of the school and back home. He also managed to convince his friend not to tell Burt just yet, he wanted Finn t try first.
He knew that Kurt wouldn't appreciate the fact that he had dobbed him into his brother, especially when said brother will be turning up tomorrow.
He sighed as he saw the small figure lying on his bed wrapped up in the duvet, his eyes closed as he faced the wall. He walked over shaking off his blazer and tie and toeing off his shoes as he slid in next to the boy. He couldn't be bothered to get changed, he just wanted to feel his fiance in his arms. He smiled to himself as he wrapped his arms tightly around Neil pulling him into his chest, he still couldnt believe that Neil had said yes to him.
Jeff felt Neil tense slightly at the contact and then relax back into Jeffs body. He does this every time and Jeff had vowed to find out one day, but not now, now he just wanted to feel his fiances heartbeat in his hands as he placed them over Neils chest.
"I love you" Jeff whispered as he kissed the top of the smaller boy's head falling into a deep sleep quickly.
He didn't notice the stray tear that had fallen from Neils eyes at the contact, at the words.
He didn't hear the silent sob that escaped the other boys mouth as he tried to calm himself down.
He didn't notice the pain that ran through Neil's body as he tried to keep everything together, he didn't notice how broken he was.
He didn't notice the darkness fall across the room as Jeff lay beside the now eerily stilled boy beside him, the vacant eyes that were now staring at the wall in front of him.
He didn't notice when Neil pulled himself out of Jeffs arms, sliding out of bed.
He didnt feel the tender kiss that Neil had placed on the sleeping boys forehead, the quiet "I love you" as Neil whispered in Jeffs ear.
He didn't hear the quiet footsteps as they made their way to the bathroom.
He didn't notice as the door closed behind Neil, the light switching on.
But, he did notice the loss as his arms began to feel empty as he felt for Neil finding his side of the bed empty.
He did notice the quietness as he strained to hear Neils beating heart that lulled him to sleep each night.
He did notice how quiet the whole room was; only the ticking off the clock filled the silence.
He did notice the darkness that filled the room, as he slowly opened his eyes wandering how long he had slept.
He did notice the slither of light protruding from the bathroom door.
He did notice how his heart suddenly stopped beating as a sick feeling began to fill his whole body.
He did notice how his body was shaking as he crossed the room, his hand clasping tightly at the bathroom handle, swallowing as the silence became more deafening. Even his own heart beat, that was now beating so fast as it tried to escape his body, could not fill the quietness that enveloped him.
"Neil" Jeff whispered his voice shaky as he pulled the handle down.
Everything seemed to go in slow motion as he pushed the door slowly open, just in case he frightened the boy. The light filled the darkness of the other room as Jeff felt his whole world collapse around him.
"Neil! baby nooo!" Jeff fell to the floor beside the boy lying motionless before him.
He did noticed the redness running down his fiances pale skin, the scream that was filling the air as he pulled his fiance to him.
He didn't notice as his room began to fill with bodies, their eyes focused as they watched the other boy rocking the seemingly lifeless body.
He did notice as he was yanked away from his fiance, his screams filling the hallway as he tried to reach him again.
He did notice as the boy he loved was rushed passed him, the paramedics pumping at his chest as they tried to save him.
He did notice as the ambulance screeched out of the Dalton parking lot.
He did notice as he looked down at his hands, how red they were, he couldn't see his own skin, just redness.
He did notice the shocked, questioning and accusing looks on his friends faces.
This was his entire fault!
He didn't notice how much pain his fiance was in!
A/N Oh no that was not supposed to happen, but no matter how many time i have re-written this chapter it always came to this. Will Neil survive his suicide attempt? Who was the boy that visited him before Jeff turned up and picked up Blaines dropped phone? Who is Blaine texting? what will Blaine do when he finds his phone missing and hears about Neil? Who will get blamed for all this? And why did Neil try to kill himself? So many questions to answer! So many secrets to reveal as everything becomes unravelled! Please review and let me know your thoughts, sorry for any mistakes written xx