Rosalie: Why did you yell into the phone that you were me?...
Alice: Because I've always wanted to be you and that seemed like the perfect opportunity because the other person can't see me. You should be flattered. ^-^
Rosalie: ...
Alice: ...
Rosalie: You just didn't want to get caught by the mutt!!!
Rosalie logged off
Alice: Jazz, she's gonna eat me!!!!!!
-something tries to tackle Alice but hits the computer instead-
Alice was disconnected
Esme: *sings* I am baaaccckk!!!!
Bella: Welcome back, Esme?
Carlisle logged on
Carlisle: Kids, do you have any idea what's wrong with your-
Esme: Carlisle!!! =*.*=
Carlisle: *gulps*
Esme: Is something the matter, Carlisle, dear? You can tell me. I will help you. I LOVE you after all! What were you going to ask them? Is there something wrong with someone? There shouldn't be something wrong with anyone. Not on my watch!
Carlisle: Er...uh...there's nothing wrong, per se...
Esme: Well, in that case I'm off! *pauses* By the way...
Carlisle: *is hesitant* Yes?
Esme: I like it when you wear those tight trousers, Carlisle. They really show off your package ;)
Carlisle: -O_O-
Everyone else: *tries really, really, really, really hard not to laugh*
Esme: *winks and waves flirtingly*
Esme logged off
Carlisle: -O_O-
Everyone: ....
Emmett: What's the matter, Carlisle? You should be damn proud *chokes on laughter*
Carlisle: Ineedtohunt
Carlisle logged off
Everyone: *bursts out laughing*
Jasper: Kind of feel bad for the guy.
Edward: Emmett, you better go take that sticky note off Esme. Now!
Emmett: Who died and made you boss?
Edward: I did!
Emmett: Well, fine!
Emmett logged off
Jacob logged on
Edward: *sighs* great, one idiot logs off and another comes on. We just can't rid the world of them.
Jacob: That was a pleasant greeting, thanks.
Bella: Hey, Jake. Your hair's growing back pretty fast.
Jacob: Yeah, it's another werewolf thing. It's usually pretty annoying, because we have to cut our hair so often, but since you shaved me I'm actually grateful for it for the first time. *glares at Bella*
Edward and Jasper: *smirks*
Jacob: And don't you bloodsuckers think about laughing! Especially after prank calling me like that. Don't you have anything better to do with your non-lives?
Jasper: As of now? No.
Edward: We've done everything there is to do. We'll have to wait another few years until something new happens.
Rosalie logged on
Rosalie: Alice got away from me.
Jasper: Naturally e.e
Rosalie: *glares* But I broke her computer
Jasper: *frowns* I just bought her that
Rosalie: *smiles victoriously*
Emmett logged on
Emmett: Ok, I have some good news and some bad news.
Everyone: Oh great
Emmett: The good news is I got the posty off of Esme!^^
Rosalie: You did? That's a relief.
Bella: I like normal Esme :)
Edward: Did you burn it this time?
Emmett: Well...that's the bad news...
Edward: Emmett...*growls*
Emmett: Hey, hey, wait! I didn't do it on purpose. It's quite a funny story actually.
Jasper: Oh? Amuse us then.
Emmett: *clears throat nervously* Ok, see, I was real sneaky like, jumping on top of Esme and snatching that sticky off her back.
Edward: You pushed her down the stairs?!
Emmett: That was her fault! Anyway, I got the sticky, right, and I ran away really fast down the hall before Esme could see it was me - though I could tell she was all dazed and confuzzled anyway when she hit the floor. It was impressive she landed on her feet though.
Bella: Did you just say confuzzled?
Emmett: Keep on track here, Bella. I ran into mine and Rose's room and shut the door all quiet like. I had to pause for a minute, processing I had succeeded in the first phase of my attack on the post-it note of doom. When I realized I had, I held up the sticky and laughed! Laughed in a kind of demonic, possessed way. But it was evil! *grins evilly*
Everyone: ...
Emmett: And then *evil face turns shocked* a huge gust of wind blew through the room - someone never shut the window *glances pointedly at Rose*
Rosalie: Wha-? *glares*
Emmett: The sticky slipped right out of my fingers!
Jasper: :O What happened next?
Edward, Jacob, Rosalie, Bella: *raises an eyebrow at Jasper*
Jasper: *composes self* Sorry. His enthusiasm rubs off on me whether I want it to or not.
Emmett: *ignores them* And then it swirled around the room. I tried to grab it but before I reached it - whoosh! - it was sucked right out the window! I automatically tried to jump out after it, but I couldn't fit and got stuck *looks glum at that*. I didn't panic, though. I was very calm, very cool and savvy like as I watched it fly away. And then...Carlisle appeared!
Everyone but Edward: :O
Edward: *groans* oh no...
Emmett: He was coming back from that quick little 'hunting trip'. The panic hit then. I watched oh so helplessly as the tiny yellow sticky floated along with the wind. I tried to get out of the window without breaking it; Esme was back to normal so I knew she'd be angry if I broke that window again so soon. I struggled and struggled but it was a lost cause! *throws hands over face dramatically as he pauses*...
Everyone: ...
Emmett: BUT
Everyone: *jumps*
Emmett: that's when the unthinkable happened. It seemed like fate was on my side. Right when the sticky was about to hit him, Carlisle stopped and bent down to pick something up off the ground, and the sticky flew right over him.
Everyone: *relaxes*
Bella: Oh...so the sticky note wasn't burned, but at least it's gone.
Emmett: When Carlisle stood back up the wind shifted suddenly in the other direction and the sticky flew onto him.
Everyone: WHAT?!
Emmett: I told you it was bad news, didn't I?
Rosalie: Emmett!
Emmett: What?
Edward: How could you let this happen?
Emmett: I didn't do it!
Jasper: It was one simple task, Em.
Emmett: Weren't you listening to my story? It was not simple!
Edward: Grizzly bears sure, no problem, but when it comes to taking out a post-it note...
Emmett: I was stuck in a window!
Edward: Argh!
Jacob: Wow. It's kind of sad a vampire can't take on a post-it note... *mumbles to self*-not that I get what's wrong with the sticky note anyway.
Rosalie: I never thought I'd say this - ever - but I agree with the mutt
Emmett: :O You picked the dog over me???
Rosalie: *grimaces at the thought* Yes
Emmett: ……
Emmett sadly logged off
Rosalie: -_-
Jasper: You know it's bad when he adds words to his sign off message
Rosalie: *sighs* Oversensitive idiot
Rosalie logged off