Disclaimer: I hold no legal claims over any of this stuff, as might be evidenced by the fact that the whole world just went crazy. More or less. Because I'm contagious. FFVII belongs to Square Enix, and the song used below is by Linda Ronstadt.

Brevity

Chapter 25: Paradigm Shift

"Really, Z?"

"Shut up."

"But you just flew face first into steel… What part of that is not cause for riotous laughter? Seriously, that's like, ten times worse than my doorframe thing."

"I'm so glad my misfortune amuses you," Azriel drawled, voice dripping sarcasm. "And maybe if I hadn't been distracted by your ear-splitting banshee shriek, I'd have dodged that attack and wouldn't have been slammed into a girder."

"Or you'd have been slammed through a wall by the two other gargoyles I kept from tackling you," Mara countered hotly, completely ignoring the gunfire nearby.

"Children…" Vincent called in a voice full of strained patience. "SHUT UP. DRINK A POTION. AND MAKE YOURSELF USEFUL." Vincent had barely raised his voice, but the firm growl left little room for argument, and before any could be made, he turned and resumed firing at the group of Elite soldiers and their commander.

"Aw, Vincent, stop being grouchy just because you're wasting bullets. Have an ether and a little fun," Mara teased, holding out a blue bottle with a smirk. He took it with a glower. "C'mon Z; time to do what we do best."

"Blow shit up?"

"… The other thing we do best…"

"Ah, gotcha."

Vincent rolled his eyes and sipped the ether, and Mara snapped her fan closed and clambered on top of a control panel. He wondered if the two of them had planned this earlier when she stood, if that was why she'd cloaked them all in a barrier the second they drew fire. Though she did that at the slightest noise anyway. So, maybe they hadn't planned anything. Maybe they were just that good at reading each other through all the snark. He had to admit though, either way, he was rather impressed by how quickly they pulled together a performance in a matter of seconds. Especially when it caused Stop and Confuse effects, and since he'd watched Mara equipping her weapons, he knew she hadn't used materia.

Mara stood her ground as a few bullets bounced off of the barrier, waited for a pause, and then cleared her throat as she raised the fan to her lips. She smirked as she felt a tingle where the silk touched her skin, and knew Azriel had taken his queue. She forced her muscles to relax, and shifted the grip on her "microphone". "I've been cheated…" Azriel didn't miss a beat in providing her instrumentals. "Been mistreated… When will I-I be loved…?" Vincent chuckled as one of the soldiers below actually dropped his ammo clip mid-reload as he stared up at the madwoman who'd turned a battlefield into karaoke night.

Said madwoman was grinning ecstatically by the time she finished the song, and took a bow. One soldier in the back started clapping excitedly, only to trail off and quickly stop as his fellows turned to stare at him. Mara giggled, and blew the guy a kiss with a sly wink. When she spoke next, her voice was still amplified; Vincent realized that Cait Sith's megaphone in this girl's hands would fast become a weapon of mass destruction. No brain cell would be safe. "Right, now that I have your undivided attention, I'd like to take a moment and talk to you about your insurance plan," she began, somehow managing to maintain a straight face. "How's your healthcare coverage?"

Well, it was bound to have happened sooner or later, and while the current situation was indeed looking rather grim, Mara had prepared for something like this.

"This" had happened so suddenly that none of them had seen it coming, and she still couldn't believe it was real. Hell, it had taken her several minutes to even work out what had happened.

She'd just pulled the treaty from a pocket when two blasts of greenish-black magic had rushed past her on either side. A second later, there were two thuds as Vincent and Azriel collapsed, coughing up blood as the poison flooded their systems. She was still staring in confused horror when she was seized roughly and dragged to the commander. She stared up at him from the bottom of the stairs, while he coldly scrutinized her from the top. While she would love nothing more at the moment than to see him eaten by a pack of velociraptors, she had to focus. She had to hold his attention and keep him distracted. But since she was more than a little pissed at the bastard above her, her default strategy of sheer insanity was discarded in favor of being as generally irritating as possible. She kept her expression as bored as she could while he spoke, silently drawing on the gentle green warmth nestled in the crystals on her wrist.

"You aren't what I expected when I heard there was someone who'd halted the battle," he said snidely.

Mara snorted, lifting an eyebrow at him witheringly. "And what were you expecting? The Easter Bunny?" she quipped, releasing the Heal spell, silently praying it would work. 'It's Vincent and Z. They're alright. They have to be ok. Guys, please don't die on me…'

"Well, for starters, I hadn't expected a little girl," the commander shot back, apparently oblivious to the magic cast.

Mara smirked. "Aw, did I bruise your big macho-man ego?" she cooed mockingly. His response was a bullet in her thigh. Gritting her teeth, she glared up at him, readying her next spell. "I'll take that as a 'yes'. Must be pretty insulting to your manhood if that's the best answer you've got," she laughed, casting Cure on her team while the commander stiffened in rage.

"Careful, brat. The only thing keeping you breathing right now are Weiss's orders to capture you alive. He never said you had to be whole."

"Oh, no! Am I supposed to be scared right now?" Mara rolled her eyes. "I'm terrified…" Furious, the commander stalked down the stairs, ready to hit her. 'Now for one last spell… fuck, this is gonna sting…' Pain exploded across her cheek, immediately followed by searing stabs all over as she unleashed the volley of lightning that spread to the soldiers holding her and the commander. 'Mind over matter…' Ignoring the pain, she stomped her heel onto one soldier's foot while smashing her elbow into the other's nose. The second their grip on her loosened, she lunged forward, slamming into the commander and knocking him back onto the stairs. She smirked at the thud his head made against the metal, and stepped on his stomach as she leapt over him and fell into a crouch on the walkway.

"It's rude to hit a lady," came a dangerous growl. Chaos grinned at the sudden scent of fear in the air, flexing his claws as he stared down at his prey.

"I think we should make them apologize, don't you?" Azriel asked as he appeared on the other side of the soldiers, casually twirling his swords.

"Oh… they'll be sorry, alright," Chaos purred.

Mara was rather grateful she was facing the other direction, judging by the noises behind her. At the moment, though, she was more worried about the spots dancing in front of her eyes and the blood she could see dripping through the grating and pooling on the ground below.

"Here…" a soft voice said, and a bottle appeared in front of her. Slowly, she looked up into the gentle face of a soldier. "Can you manage?" When her only response was to blink slowly, he unscrewed the cap and moved to help her drink it.

She could tell by the instant rush of tingling it was an elixir. "Thanks," she replied, sighing as the pain subsided. "You're the one who was clapping, right?" she asked, sitting up and looking at the man curiously. "I'm Mara. It's nice to meet you."

The man returned her smile shyly. "Luke," he said, shaking her hand. "My brother James told me about you, what you're trying to do for us… I couldn't believe it… not until I actually saw you…" He held something out to her, and one glance down was all she needed to recognize the treaty that had been snatched from her earlier. It was crumpled and sporting a boot print, but she saw a small ladybug hastily drawn beside a newly added name. "There are quite a few officers watching for you now… please be careful…"

"You, too."

"I'm not the one planning on taking on Weiss."

Mara winced. "It's that obvious?" she asked. Luke shrugged.

"You're ending the war he started. It's inevitable. But it's also pretty obvious you don't want to fight him. So what are you going to do?"

Mara sighed. "That's what I'm workin' on," she admitted. "There's no way I can take him on and win, and unless I can figure out away to drive Hojo out of his head, I won't be able to get through to him at all. If it were a simple possession, an exorcism might work, but those won't work on data-fragments… What I need is more time, and that's definitely something we don't have… not with Omega already stirring…"

"Well, if we could figure out a way to delay Omega, could you do it?" Luke asked, halting her racing thoughts.

"I think so. I'll try everything I can, at the very least. But putting Omega back to sleep isn't going to be easy…" She thought quickly, flipping through the timeline and searching for all the useful information she could remember. "We need to cut off his power supply. Luke, how many others down here are with us?"

"A good number, I think. I know a few groups have deserted, and there are probably others like me, who are stuck under the officers. So what do you need us to do?"

Mara smiled gratefully at him. "We've got to cut off the mako reactors, and if there are any survivors in the core, get them out before they're sacrificed. The less power and souls we give him, the longer it will take for him to awaken. I'll see what I can do to stop Weiss before he does anything stupid. Hmm…" She had an idea, and on a whim, turned toward the distant Mako reactor Zero. "HEY, NERO!" she shouted as loudly as she could, then waited patiently. Five seconds later, a cloud of darkness appeared, and from it stepped the ruffled Sable.

"You bellowed?" he inquired haughtily, and Mara giggled.

"Yeah. I have a weird favor to ask of you. Do you think you can kidnap your brother and hold him in Oblivion until we figure out a way to get rid of Hojo and Omega?" she asked as calmly as if she'd asked the time. "I don't think we'll be able to reach him before he starts the transformation process, but you could. And any extra time it buys us would really help."

The Tsviet sighed, not liking the idea of betraying his brother. But it was to save him… "Very well… I will find you again once he is contained."

"Thanks! I'll have something ready by then." And with a poof of darkness, the Sable was gone again. "What?" Mara asked as she noticed the look of shock on Luke's face.

"How did you ever get the Tsviets to listen to you like that?" he asked in awe. Honestly, he was surprised they hadn't killed her.

Mara just laughed. "Well, let's see… I kidnapped Rosso, challenged Azul, and surprised Nero so bad he fell over. And I'm still convinced they only signed the treaty to get me to shut up."

"That's why I signed it!" Azriel called. Mara just shot him the finger. The angel smacked her with a wing.

"Hey! Stop molting on me!"

"Stop getting your dumb ass shot!"

"Then don't get your stupid ass poisoned!"

"Kids…" Vincent cut in with a sigh of exasperation and a warning growl. This only served to remind Mara that he too had been poisoned without her permission, and she spun, punching him on the arm.

"That goes for you too!" she snapped, and then latched onto the gunman in a bone-crushing hug. Vincent sighed and patted her head patiently.

"Aw, how come I don't get a hug?" Azriel teased, and to his complete surprise, Mara released Vincent and wrapped her arms around him. "Whoa, hey now… I was just kidding…" he sputtered, and then he felt the warmth on his chest and understood. "Hey…" he said more gently, returning the hug. "We're not going to get killed on you. Occasionally shot, stabbed, or poisoned, but not killed. You're stuck with me for a long time, so you might as well get used to it."

"You're not funny, asshole!" came Mara's muffled and tearful protest.

"I think I'm hilarious," Azriel replied easily, smiling. Vincent rolled his eyes and refused to comment. Luke suddenly wondered if the world was still doomed, only now as a result of the "heroes" trying to save it, and decided to hurry and stall Omega's awakening while he still had a shred of hope left. He didn't notice the feather that clung to his sleeve, but he recalled something from his childhood unexpectedly. His mother's voice, explaining how her people would pray to Leviathan for guidance and protection. After she died and he and his brother had been taken to DeepGround, he'd thought such prayers pointless and stupid, and over the years, he'd forgotten about them entirely. Today, however, he thought he finally understood his mother's faith, and as he walked, he sent a silent prayer to Leviathan that he wouldn't let her down.

A/N: As may be evidenced by the past few chapters, this is where any and all remnants of Dirge of Cerberus end. Nothing will be played out like it happened for the rest of the game, and what does happen is about 99.9% guaranteed to be just a tad this side of crazy. This is a warning.