Disclaimer: Twilight? Not mine. If it was, Rob would be my midnight fuck to ring in the new year.
SHOUT OUTS—Jess:Thanks for making it like old times when we used to chat about this story, I miss that. Love you.DarlingSaila: Holy shit, wow. I don't think you understand how much you help me when it comes to this story. ESPECIALLY the lemons! Thanks, girl. My magic Beta Fish. EVERYONE: Thanks for reading, reviewing, lurking, tweeting, tumblring, facebooking… you're all amazing. Let's end 2011 with a bang!
HAPPY NEW YEAR! (Be safe & have fun!)
-x-
The Slowest Burn
That awkward moment when… you don't know if whether to kill or fuck your boyfriend—all while your dad is peeking at your through the window.
Ch. 25: High for This
Not too long into my drive to Rosalie's, Royce calls me back.
"Well?" I huff and drive one-handed down the highway.
"He… uh…" he stalls.
I tremor and fight to keep my hand on the wheel. "Spill it, Roy! You owe me!" I shout in frustration.
He curses under his breath. "He's at Alice's," Royce admits reluctantly.
It feels like everything just… stops.
"Doll?" comes Royce's concerned reply.
I swallow hard and force myself to remember how to breathe. "Did he say anything about blowing off dinner with my dad tonight?"
"Shit, B, I don't know, all right? I didn't speak with him directly." He's hiding something from me; I just don't know what it is. I can't even begin to imagine what. "But I don't think he remembered. I'm sorry. I know I said he'd be there. Whatever happened between when I last spoke with him and now… it's just, he was set on going. I swear that he was."
"Then, why is he ignoring me?" I sound angry, but really I'm about ten seconds away from bawling like a big baby. It happens when I'm beyond pissed the fuck off.
He sighs. "He's not. His phone was on silent. I had to call Alice."
I cringe. So not what I want to hear right now.
"You, uh… you should know that today is a bad day for Alice." He pauses for a moment, as if contemplating how much to tell me.
I'm so done with this shit I decide as I pull up onto Rosalie's driveway and shut off my car.
"Bella?" he asks at my silence.
My response is quick and precise. "She can have him."
Soon after, the only sound he hears is the dial tone on my end.
-x-
I close my eyes and settle down further into the comforter while Rosalie drones on about her current situation. Rose's bed is the absolute shit, I swear on it. Her parents must have spent a grip on this thing. I wonder how long it would take me to get a job and save up for something like this?
Needless to say, I have not spoken a word to her about my failed dinner. She hasn't asked. So, I'm assuming that she either, a.) doesn't care; b.) forgot; or c.) thinks I need another distraction.
At this point, I would take all of the above. Rose is not herself lately.
"Maybe they're coming to be supportive?" I blurt out as she makes her third pass around the room on her giant purple Pilates ball.
She shakes her head derisively at my suggestion. "They're more likely to come and kick me out."
"Don't be dramatic." I roll my eyes just as my phone starts to ring.
Edward calling…
I press ignore and set it back down and then roll onto my side to face Rose. "Maybe," I start with a forced smirk, "they're coming to send you away to a distant relative while your mom wears a fat suit and pretends to be the one knocked up?"
Her eyes narrow. "This isn't Desperate Housewives, dummy. Be serious."
"I am being serious," I laugh, but the sound is hollow even to my own ears. "Your mom is that fucking crazy."
My phone sounds off again. I ignore it—again.
"What's with that?" Rosalie finally asks while motioning to my phone.
It's the fifth call I've ignored in the past twenty minutes that I've been here.
"Nothing," I lie to her, "I just want to be here for you."
"Bullshit." She pops up from her giant ball and kicks it across the room. "What hell is going on, Bella? You've been weird since you walked in, and you haven't said a word about dinner."
Okay, so she's purposely not asked about it. I don't know how to respond. I don't want to worry her, and I don't want her to use this to fuel her "I hate Cullen" fire.
So, I pull out another lie.
"Dinner? Psh." I wave her off. "Totally fine."
"Really?" Her brow rises curiously.
I force a smile. "Yep."
With a defiant hand on her hip, she stares me down. "You're getting better at it, I'll admit that," she replies with a hint of appreciation. "But I think you forget that, despite my lapse in character lately, I still know you like the back of my hand, Isabella Swan."
Fuck. I was hoping she'd be too wrapped up in her own issues to catch me lying about mine. Damn it. I just shrug my shoulders and stand up. "Let's watch a movie." I start for the door.
Rose grabs my wrist to halt my exit. "Let's not. Tell me what happened. Was it bad?" Her violet eyes flash with sympathy that mirrors the look on my father's face as I left the house. I don't like it. Not on him, and not on her.
I shake my head and yank my wrist free from her grip. "I don't want to talk about it, okay? Everything is fine, I just…" I rub my hands over my face. "Fuck! I just don't want to talk about it, okay?"
She blinks in surprise and flinches back a step. "Okay." Her voice is soft. "I'm sorry."
Guilt runs through my veins like venom and my face crumbles. "Shit." I begin to cry. "I didn't mean to snap at you."
Rose closes the gap between us and pulls me into her arms. "You don't have to apologize, and you don't have to tell me what happened… yet," she adds seriously.
I nod into her shoulder and inhale a shaky gulp of air.
-x-
We end up watching movies and playing Words With Friends on our phones with each other and Emmett and Jasper—who are both really freaking good at this game, by the way. Jasper is kicking my ass by about sixty points, and Emmett just hit a triple letter with X on a triple word. I think he's cheating. At least I'm kicking Rosalie's ass on our game. She sucks consistently.
When Edward calls, I ignore it, and if he texts me, I delete it without reading. I really don't know why, but when Royce calls I answer without any hesitation.
"What?" I snip. I said I answered, not that I was happy about it.
"You really need to call him, doll," he says in a way that makes me instantly nervous.
I stand up from the couch and walk out of the room so that Rosalie can't overhear my conversation. I lock my lips and tell myself to get it together.
"Why?" My shaky voice gives away my fear. I clear my throat and ask again more confidently.
He laughs, but not in amusement, "Because he's on his way to your house. That's why."
"Oh, my God." The blood in my veins runs ice cold and I shiver. "How long ago did he leave?"
"About ten minutes, I think?" His guesstimate makes me nervous.
I freak out. "Ten minutes? I'll never make it home in ten freaking minutes! Good looking out, Royce. Fuck!" I kick the leg of a lamp table in the hall.
"All the more reason to call him," he rebuffs my comments. "I just got his text right before I called you. So, get your shit together and call your boy before he does something stupid."
I groan. "Okay, but if anything happens, I blame y—"
"Yeah, yeah," he mutters and hangs up.
I call Edward immediately, and of course, he doesn't answer. My nerves bunch up so tight I can barely move. "Rosalie!" I scream and run into the entertainment room to pull yet another lie out of my ass as a reason for my abrupt departure.
With the way I've been spewing lies lately, you'd think I'd have an ass the size of Nicki Minaj's.
-x-
"Cullen… BEEP!"
"Shit!" I shout and slam a hand down onto the steering wheel while doing eighty in a forty-five. "Edward, please answer the damn phone!" I hang up and throw my phone down onto the seat. I've been calling him nonstop since hauling ass from Rose's house.
She was not a happy camper.
My car slides on a patch of ice just as I turn the corner down my street. I should probably be thankful that I didn't flip, or crash, or maim anyone with my Volvo of mass destruction. So I end up charging down the block until I'm pulling into the driveway. It's here that I kill the engine and hop outside my car, only to realize that I'm too late. Edward's car is parked out front…
And he's not in it.
I almost trip over my own feet as I run to the front door and attempt shove my key into the lock. I'm so nervous that my hands shake and I can't keep steady enough to insert the key into the fucking hole. Good God, it's a good thing I'm not a guy. I'd never hit home.
"Bella?" The door swings open and I fall face first into the chest of—I pause and look up—Edward.
My fingers turn into claws that latch onto his shoulders as I pull myself together and stand up straight.
"What the hell are you doing here?" I hiss as my eyes dart behind him to see Dad resting in his recliner, watching the game. Beer in hand and everything, he's in the same exact state as I'd left him. My dad is so predictable that it scares me sometimes.
Edward—ever the picture of cool, calm, and collected—rubs his hands up and down my arms. "I told you I'd be here." He smiles as if everything is fine and he's not in for a shitload of trouble.
I shrug away from him and cross my arms over my chest defensively. "You're late," I tell him.
He sighs and rubs a hand over the back of his neck. "Yeah, I know… I'm so—"
"Don't," I snap and hold a hand up to silence him. "Why isn't my dad showing you his guns?" I have a sudden bout of curiosity.
"Already done and buried, sweet pea," Dad calls out from the living room. "Quite the negotiator, this one." He snorts into his beer can and swallows before he hits the mute button and beckons us both over.
Edward continuously keeps trying to hold my hand and I swat him away every time. I circle the sofa with the intention of sitting as far away from him as possible, but he's seated in the middle of the damn thing. So now I have no choice but to be next to him, smelling him, feeling him… wanting him. And all in front of my dad. What the hell is wrong with me?
"Oh, for the love of… Bella, will you just sit down already?" Dad's annoyance is clear as day.
Without warning, I'm yanked down onto the couch and half falling into Edward's lap. I gasp and rear my hand back to smack his shoulder with a scowl. How dare he manhandle me in front of my own father! I look over to see a giant shit-eating grin plastered across his face.
Why the fuck is he so happy?
I turn to look at my dad. "What the hell is going on here?"
"Filter, Bella," Dad scolds in disapproval.
Deep breaths. "What is going on here, Father?" My sarcasm is thick and palpable.
Edward's fingers start to slither under the back of my sweater and feather up my spine. I shiver in response and reach behind me to push him away. Why is he acting like this?
Dad rubs a hand over his eyes and sighs. "Like I said, this one here," he says as he motions to Edward, "is pretty clever. He's managed to get into my good graces despite the shitload of odds stacked against him."
I peer over my shoulder and Edward shrugs innocently. "And how did he do that?" I ask curiously. "Seeing as how he's not even in my good graces," I growl at Edward while my words are aimed at my dad.
"Edward?" My dad tilts his head at him. "Why don't you tell Bella what you said to me? And don't forget our deal." He points an accusing finger.
Edward?
Edward?
"Did he just call you…" I blink in surprise as my head whips back and forth between the two males on either side of me. "I'm so confused," I groan and press at my temples.
Gently, Edward takes my hands from my head and links our fingers together. "I am so sorry, Bella. But something came up that I couldn't put aside, and…" He shakes his head, his happy façade finally starting to crack and come apart at the seams.
"I want to know what you said to my dad," I interrupt him.
His eye color darkens. His jaw clenches. This is the Edward I know, the one I expect, and the one I can deal with. Instinctively, my hands tighten around his. A vein in his forehead peaks forth and I smirk. With my eyes I tell him to cut the crap and come clean. He reads me easily and it pisses him off because I'm ruining whatever disguise he's put on for my father's sake.
"I said…" He clears his throat and looks down at our hands. "I told him that I had some shi—stuff that needed to be handled. Something that couldn't wait."
"What couldn't 'wait?'" I mock him with air quotes. "And if you say Alice, so help me God, Edward…"
"Stop!" He pulls on my wrists to get my eyes locked onto his again. "Your dad gets it, okay? She needed me because—"
I scream in frustration and jump up to my feet. "I'm so sick of this!" I shout at him angrily. "She says jump and you ask, 'how high?'! I told you that I wouldn't make you choose, and I meant it when I said it, but now I'm taking it back! She has done nothing but insult me to my face—and you have never defended me, by the way—and she's been devious and reckless from the start! I'm your girlfriend, Edward!" My hands smack against my chest.
His eyes dart behind me to assess my father's reaction and it only serves to anger me further. "Look at me when I'm talking to you!" I yell. "Don't look at him, he is not who you should be worried about right now… Cullen."
His head snaps up so that his eyes meet my gaze while he slowly rises up to his feet. "Please sit down, sweetheart," he replies through gritted teeth, "I promised your dad I would not give him a reason to rescind his offer."
"My dad," I reply and arch my brow at him, "is not whose ass you need to kiss right now."
We face off. Right there, in the middle of my damn living room, in front of my dad. He's angry, I'm angry, and I have no clue how this all looks to my poor dad. His whistle cracks through the thick air like a whip and both Edward's and my attention flies to the La-Z-Boy.
"I told you apologizing to me was useless," Dad chuckles at Edward and gets up from his chair. "I'm going to get another beer, and you two are going to take this out onto the front porch." He turns to point a finger at Edward. "And don't forget our deal."
That's the second time he's mentioned this deal he has going on with Edward—I make a mental note to get an explanation from both of them later. Edward reaches for his jacket on the coat rack and I curtly snatch it away and put it on so that when we stand outside, his ass will freeze. The instant the door closes behind us, he's grabbing the lapels on his jacket and yanking me up against his chest.
"I told her," he says with his lips centimeters in front of mine.
I blink and set my palms against his stomach. "Huh?" I push.
Smoldering. That's the only word I can think of to describe the look that's currently occupying Edward's face—his eyes are two coals within a halo of fire around his intense stare. "I told Alice to back the fuck off or else we're not friends anymore." My hands slide up to his chest. He takes one and kisses my open palm. "I told her that you are my top priority, and for her to stop treating me like I owe her something." His nose dips down to caress the side of my face. "I told her that you are my girlfriend and she's not. I told her that things are different now because there is someone else who is very important to me."
My eyes close. His mouth teases my skin with small, slight kisses on the apple of my cheeks to the corners of my mouth. He's distracting me—and it's working. Shit. He's really irresistible right now. He's all cuddly and cute, and rough and sexy, and… mine.
One of my hands slinks up to grab the back of his neck and pull him down to me so that I can have what I've wanted since he said he told Alice to fuck off. Well, he sort of told her to fuck off, but… oh, who cares? He told her!
"Okay." He stops our kiss from becoming more.
"What?" I ask breathless and try to kiss him again, only to be stopped again. "What is it?"
He laughs softly and then points over my shoulder. "I sort of promised your dad that I wouldn't give him a reason to kick my ass."
I turn around to see Dad holding back the curtain and glaring daggers at us. I wave him away and he points two fingers at his eyes before he points the same fingers at Edward. I would laugh if my dad wasn't so much like Jack Byrnes from Meet the Parents. If given the opportunity, he'd hook Edward up to a lie detector test.
Wait a minute…
"Did he… um.." I bite my lip and think about how to approach this.
Edward sweeps the hair from my eyes and smirks. "You mean did he try his hardest to get me to piss my pants? Yes, he did. And, no, I didn't. He also stared at me for about ten minutes without blinking, a game I've been good at since I was five. We broke it off as a tie when your dad sneezed and said that it didn't count. Then he said that the only way he would give me a second chance was if you gave me one. So," he pauses, "will you?"
My eyes go to the collar of his dark blue Henley shirt where I'm starting to pull at it with my fingers. I shrug and sigh. "I don't know, it depends." I release the material and draw shapes with my fingernail across his chest.
His hands move to my waist. "On what?"
"On…" I smirk. "How did you really get my dad to give you a second chance?"
He hesitates and my eyes widen when I realize he's… he's blushing. What the hell? I grab onto the shirt and pull him toward me even closer than he already is.
"I said, uh," he clears his throat, "that I would curkfermmm…" he mumbles.
I grimace in confusion. "What?"
Again, he garbles so low and fast that I can't make out a single syllable. I frown and touch his cheek. "Edward?" My brow arches.
"Boy said he'd cook!" Dad ends up shouting through the door.
I huff and tell him to go watch TV because this is an A and B conversation. I'm slightly shocked Dad didn't scold me for my sarcasm. He leaves us alone at last and then it's just Edward and me on the porch, staring into each other's eyes. His are warm and happy. In his mind, he's out of the woods, and in a way, I suppose he is.
He leans down to place a chaste kiss against my lips.
I can't wait until tomorrow. With or without Royce's help… I just… I can't… I can't lie to Edward, or keep this a secret any longer. He doesn't deserve it.
"I have to tell you something." I gulp and look away over his shoulder.
He uses the tip of his nose to brush against mine so that I'll lift my gaze to his. "Don't do that," he whispers closely. "Don't shut me out."
Nervous lip nibbling begins. "I'm not, it's just..."
Dear God, I think I'm going to have a heart attack. My chest is pounding and my breath is short, I feel lightheaded.
"Just what?" His lips press small, tender kisses all over my face as he draws me closer to enclose me in his arms. His hands slip into the back pockets of my jeans and then align us perfectly, so that I feel him just above where I need him.
I inhale a sharp breath and he dips and captures my mouth with his. Deep, sensual kisses that turn desperate in a matter of seconds before I'm clawing at his hair and his fingers are digging into my rear, bunching it in his hands, and smashing our lower halves together. His tongue delves inside my mouth and sweeps across my taste buds causing sparks and shivers and the usual fireworks that only he can ignite within me.
"Edward," I pull back slightly to reply breathlessly. His chin is clean, but there are tiny pricks that still scratch against my skin in such delicious ways. Involuntarily, my teeth nip at him and he chuckles from the back of his throat—a deep rumble that fades into a hum going straight between my legs.
He mumbles something into my ear, it's garbled, and I don't understand it. I press my hands to his chest and he reluctantly stops his assault of my mouth. Lustfully hooded eyes stare back at me, a little dopey smile upon his swollen lips. I'm sure mine are in the same state, but with rosy cheeks and grazed skin. He's so beautiful—I don't think many people see that about him—his strong-edged and masculine jaw, light colored lashes that are lengthy and feather-soft, a lavish mouth with plush lips, and eyes as green as jade sea glass.
I watch his lips push forward as they begin to form words and suddenly I'm blurting, "I've been helping Royce for the past couple weeks. With his injuries," I clarify the last part when Edward's eyes widen in shock. "He needed my help, and I couldn't say no."
"When," he whispers.
I gulp. "The night of Alice's Halloween party. I told you I was going to Rosalie's, but I went to pick Royce up from…" I bite my lip. "Somewhere, I don't remember exactly." Lie. "Someone had ganged up on him, and he looked awful! I had to help him. You would never say no to Rosalie, I know you wouldn't. You know how important she is to me, just like I know how important Roy—"
"Stop." In a flash, his hands are at my shoulders, holding me away at arm's length.
"We didn't tell you because Royce said it was too dangerous. He still hasn't told me everything that happened that night, but I had to take him to the hospital a few days later because his injuries were so bad." I shake my head up at him.
He says nothing.
I swallow. "Edward?" If my voice is as pathetic as I think it just sounded… shoot me now.
He shakes his head but won't look at me. His hands tighten and let go on either side of my neck. Clench and release. Clench and release. Clench and release. Like they're following the rhythm of my insanely panicked heartbeat. I try to move forward, but his grip tightens painfully in order to keep me from closing the gap between us.
"Edward, don't." My voice trembles as I fight to pry his hands from my shoulders. "Don't do this!" I start to plead with him. "He had no one else to call, okay? He knew that you would have done something stupid, and I was scared that you would, too. I'm glad he didn't call you." I claw at his arms, my nails digging into his flesh. "Edward, look at me!"
"No." His head bows.
"Why not?" I cry.
When his eyes finally meet mine I wish they hadn't. They're black, full of anger and betrayal. "Because I can't believe how stupid you are!" he roars into my face.
My lungs scream for air that I can't give them. "I can't believe you just said that to me."
He shakes his head and stares over my shoulder at nothing, thoughts evident as his eyes glaze over and his jaw tightens.
"I knew you were going to do this." I yank away from him and wipe at the stray tears that have escaped past my lashes. "I did nothing wrong!" I shout at him.
"Then why did you lie about it?" he barks back.
I flinch at the volume of his voice. "Because I knew you would do this!" I charge and shove him heatedly. "You act like I'm your property or something! Like I belong to y—"
"You do!" He grabs my arm and tugs me harshly forward. "When are you going to stop fighting me and just admit it?" he hisses into my face, eyes blazing and teeth gritted. "I'm so sick of you acting like you can just do whatever the fuck you want with whoever you want. Do you have any idea what could have happened to you? Are you really that fucking naïve?"
"You're hurting me," I grimace.
I'm ignored and I gasp painfully in response to his tight clench. Suddenly, the pressure is gone and he's leaving in long strides across my lawn to his car.
"Edward!" I scream after him.
"Not right now, Bella," he growls and yanks his car door open.
"Where are you going?" I run over to the driver's side and try to stop him from getting inside. "Edward, please don't go."
He starts his car and tries to push me out so that he can slam the door shut. "Get inside the house, Isabella." He still refuses to meet my gaze.
"No." I remain defiant.
"Get in the fucking house!" he snarls and guns his engine to scare me away. It works, and I'm stumbling backward watching him peel off down the street.
I run back inside and ignore my dad's concerned questions and angry words. I almost drop my phone as I make a desperate call. When it picks up, I blurt out, "He knows."
"Fuck," Royce curses when he hears the tremor in my tone and the hiccups of my cries.
-x-
It's late and I can't sleep, and I don't care. I pick up my phone and light up the screen to see that, no, it is not broken, he's just not calling or texting me back, or even acknowledging that I'm alive, for that matter. Royce isn't answering, either, which leads me to believe that Edward went straight to Royce's house to cause mayhem. If I hadn't just had a full-blown anxiety attack earlier in front of Dad, I would be at Royce's house playing referee and trying to keep the kids away right now. e
I lightly smack my phone's screen against my forehead as I try to pull myself together enough to figure out what the hell to do next. That hadn't gone too well with Edward, but it was ten times less dramatized than I expected. I have to count my blessing somehow, and that's it.
I grimace when my phone hits my skin and jolts me upright when it vibrates. I fumble and it flies off of my bed and hits the floor hard enough to make me worry that I've busted it. I scramble off the bed and flop down onto the ground on my knees with a painful thump. My knees burn, but I answer quickly.
"H-hello? Edward?" I lick my lips wistfully.
"Come downstairs." He hangs up.
I set the phone down beside me on the floor and take a deep breath. I can't lose him. I won't. This is stupid, why am I worried? I'm his; he knows I'm his. This isn't about me being defiant or fighting with him. Why hadn't I seen it before? He was scared.
I slip my bare feet into a worn pair of black Chucks and pause at my door. I should probably put pants on instead of going outside in the stolen pair of basketball shorts from Edward's closet. I look down and cringe from embarrassment when I realize I also have one of his shirts on, too. Can I be any more pathetic?
Fuck it. I head downstairs.
Dad is way past the point of deep sleep and well into coma territory—he's always that way after annihilating a twelve-pack. I don't have to worry about watching my steps, but I do anyway just in case. At the door, I grab my coat, and when I shut the door behind me and the cold hits me, I dart out across the lawn and jump into Edward's car.
"Holy fuck, it's cold!" I shiver inside the warm shell of his Impala.
He says nothing and takes off down the street to flip a bitch and head toward La Push. I strap myself in and then pause and turn to him curiously.
"Where are we going?" My eyes take him in and assess him from head to toe. "Oh, God," I gasp as my hand flies to my mouth, "what did you do?"
He's been in a fight—a bad one. His lip is bleeding, his brow is cut, and he has the makings of a black eye forming on his right side. My chest restricts and I wonder what he's done to Royce. He's just barely able to go back to school and now this?
"Where is Royce?" I gulp.
Edward chuckles, "Wow. I didn't know you cared so much."
"He's hurt, Edward. It's not a fair fight and you know it." I scoot closer to get a better look at his injuries. "I can't believe you." I dig in my pockets for anything to use to wipe his face with.
"Don't." He turns way from my prying hands.
"Pull over," I snap at him. "Now, Edward!" I shout loud enough to make him screech to a stop on the side of the road.
He slams the car into park and then jumps outside to pace back and forth, muttering under his breath and ramming his hands into his hair. I follow him outside from his side of the car and join him in front of the hood.
"Tell me what happened!" I grab his hoodie to make him look at me.
"I didn't fight with Royce, it was someone else!" he roars into my face. "You happy now?"
"No." I shake my head. "No, I'm not happy. What did you do, Edward?" Fear seizes me in its dark clutches. "What did you do? Look at me, goddamn it!" I cry and grab either side of his face. "What did you do?"
He attacks me—his mouth on mine, his tongue between my teeth, his hands inside of my coat then up my shirt and pawing at my tits. I gasp and it quickly turns into a deep moan. I pull him to me; he lifts me up so that I'm seated on the hood and peels my coat from my shoulders. The car is warm beneath me, so I don't mind so much when it's gone. Hot, searing kisses, he bites my shoulder hard and I whimper lustfully. My hands snake up the back of his shirt and scratch down his spine, flesh bunching between my fingers.
"Lay back," he pants into my neck.
"What?" I ask breathless.
He doesn't repeat himself, he pushes me flat on my back and rips the shorts and panties down to my knees, just enough to get to where I'm warmest. I shiver from the cold and he covers me with his body.
"I'll tell you everything," he grunts. "I swear it, baby. I'll tell you anything you want to know, you've been so patient with me." His fingers go straight to my pussy and slide up and down my slit achingly slow. "But I'm just so fucking pissed off, and I want you, I need you, and—fuck, you're so wet, Bella. You're always ready for me, aren't you, baby?"
I nod and rub myself against his fingers. "Yes," I whine with shaky arms and legs.
"I'm not mad at you," he tells me, "I was never mad at you. I'm sorry I left, I just had to get out of there before I did or said something I shouldn't have." I hear his zipper pull down and I hit the back of my head against the car, impatiently waiting for his cock.
"Edward, stop talking." I quiver under him and reach between us to pull him free from his pants. He's warm and hard in my hand, thick velvet in my palm. I fist around him and slide my fingers up and down his shaft, caressing what's mine. "This is mine," I reply. "Say it." I slide his tip up and down my slit.
"Fuck, yes," he groans and presses himself into my hand, "every part of me, Bella. You own me, you always have."
I moan from the intense feeling of his length rubbing up and down between my pussy lips, and the tip of him teases my clit toward oblivion. His breath is hot and comes from deep within the back of his throat. He's slick with my wetness and I want him inside me, but I want to tease him more.
I raise my head so that I can bite onto his earlobe and whisper, "Fuck me, then. I want to be yours, too."
He groans and buries his face into my neck, licking and sucking my skin feverously. His hands are cold as they move up and down my sides beneath my shirt, but I'm so hot inside that I don't care. It feels like a quick stimulant, and for some reason, it hits me in the pit of my stomach and makes me clench my thighs around Edward's jean covered hips.
"I fucking love when you get all dirty and bossy like that," he chuckles against my throat.
"Then, you're gonna love this, too," I giggle and guide him between my lips, and he rams into me with one deep thrust. I gasp and tighten around him, stretching and adjusting—I love that part, especially when he's frantic and rough, I feel desirable and irresistible, as if I'm a succubus and he's my victim to seduce and to control. His open mouth is on my neck, biting my chin, licking my throat. He's a starving man lost in a desert, searching the land for sustenance. I am that desert. I am his sustenance. I want to be everything, and in this moment… I am.
His thrusts are fast and hard and my back against the hood will leave me sore come tomorrow. I pull his lips to mine and when we kiss, he immediately shoves his tongue inside and devours me. His left hand grabs my ass as his right does the same with my breasts. Then, all at once, his palms fly up to shove my shirt up over my tits and his fingertips are like ice against my nipples, they harden under his touch almost painfully so. I arch my chest and expose my throat. The tip of his nose is chilly as it drags down the side of my neck and to the hallow of my collarbone. I shiver and he pulls me to him for warmth, his arms circle around my middle as I wiggle and whine and cry and pant when he uses this new position as leverage to pound into me. My hands fist in his hair and I clench my thighs and contract my muscles around him so that he'll moan and bury his face into my chest with shuddery breaths.
We're so lost in each other that we don't even notice the first car fly past us until it honks and someone shouts out an encouraging praise. That's when I lock up and Edward pulls back to look around us before yanking me up against his chest with my arms around his neck and his hands on my ass. He quickly shuffles to the passenger side—because his pants are down at his ankles and my shorts are still around mine—so if he doesn't move his ass, we're going to fall. I laugh, and he does, too, and then I'm thrown into the backseat and he's crawling in after me.
"Hold on." He sits on the seat and runs his hands up and down his thighs before he starts to remove his shoes and jeans. I do the same and rip my shirt over my head, as well. I shiver and pull him back to me for warmth.
My fingers run up his hoodie and I start to push it up his chest until he tears it off himself and yanks me closer to him by my hips. I yelp in surprise and he grins while running his now warm hands up my thighs and all the way to my chest, where he not so delicately kneads my highly aroused tits.
My God. It's like they only come alive when he's around, the little whores. I burn beneath him like hot coals and he feeds my heat with his desire.
"Oh, fuck," I curse out loud when Edward starts to tease me with the length of his fuck pistol. I have so many crude and rude names for his cock. I love each and every one of them. He does, too. Like before, on the hood of the car, his tip teases my clit. I tremble because it feels so fucking good when he does that. I shake so hard that when I moan, it's broken up and sounds more like a cry.
"I'm so pissed at you for not telling me," he groans, and I can see his face tighten, and feel his arm muscles bunch while his abs clench from the strength it's taking him not to fuck me blind. "You should have told me, Bella."
My hips start to move on their own, sliding my pelvis against his, the delicious friction causing me to throw my head back in ecstasy. My hands reach for him, but he's still upright on his knees in front of me. I grab his iron rod—his monster cock—and glide my hands up and down with my thumbs applying just the right amount of pressure. His hands clench around my waist, and without warning, he slams his hips into me.
"I don't want to talk about that right now," I moan.
I'm jerked forward by my wrists and then I'm flush against his chest. My nipples pebble from the friction and my hands go straight to his hair, tangling themselves within it and pulling. His hands are hot and greedy, and his dick is pressed between our bodies. I wither against it while kissing him with a passion rivaling my desire for his cock, unable to determine what I want more: his hands everywhere, his mouth everywhere, or his dick thrusting up between my thighs.
He moves so that he's seated in the center of the backseat with me straddling his lap. I waste no time and take him in my hand before slowly guiding him back inside of me. I whimper as my body trembles over him. My heart beats madly as his lips trail down my collarbone to my breasts. I hug him to me and roll my hips over him hard and strong a few times while both of us gasp and pant for air. His hands grip my waist to control my rhythm over him, guiding me up and down his cock harder and faster until the windows fog and I can't handle it.
"Please don't ever leave like that again," I find myself begging him and trying to slow down his thrusts. "Promise me, Edward."
He kisses my neck with plush lips and I hear a pop when he pulls away. "I promise," he whispers under my chin. His nose nuzzles me and I drop my gaze into his serious green irises. "Promise never to keep things from me again."
I lift and lower and nod my head. I can't comprehend much of anything except how good it feels to have him all up in me, continuously hitting that sweet spot inside me that makes me stutter and forget how to breathe, because it feels so good that I think I might fucking pass out and, all I see are the little bright dots that look like stars. I know I'm close to losing it because my body is trembling so hard that I have to dig my nails into Edward's shoulders to keep from skyrocketing through the roof.
For some reason, this causes his jaw to clench, and then his hands are at my waist, hauling me up and down on his cock at a breakneck speed. It's like he's mad again, and gone are the soft touches and slow kisses, and now he's rough and hard and angry.
It's so fucking hot.
My hands continue to grip his shoulders for balance, my head is thrown back with my chest arching up into the air, and I can't stop the embarrassing animal sounds coming out of my mouth. I don't even care anymore. Flesh against flesh, body heat and foggy windows, it's so incredibly erotic.
He starts to lift his hips from the seat to slam into me harder and my hands fly out to grab onto anything else for leverage. One goes to the window frame on my right, a sweaty palm sliding down the cool glass, while the other grabs hold of the seat behind Edward's head. My mouth is open, but no sound comes out except the small, pathetic squeaks I'm unable to control. My tits feel heavier than usual as they bounce and jiggle like fucking Jello. In fact, my entire body feels like Jello, but in a good way—the best way.
"Edward," I cry out the first warning of my looming orgasm when my walls start to clench and spasm around his cock like a ripple of electricity shooting straight to that certain spot inside of me that only he can trigger.
His thumb is at my clit in seconds, rubbing in fast, small circles until I'm hugging his face to my chest and squeezing my thighs around his hips, and he's pumping in and out of me harder and harder.
"Fuck," he groans, and I feel his body tremble beneath me, "I'm gonna…" His grip tightens and then he rams up into me to the point where I wonder exactly how much further until he's in my stomach.
My fingernails scrape his scalp and I bite down onto his shoulder to hold back my screams of fruition while he does the same to me. I feel like my entire body explodes, and from the sounds Edward makes, I wonder if both of us did. Sweat glistens over our skin as we struggle for breath and cling to each other as if we'll be wrenched apart otherwise.
I want to tell him I love him. But what if it's just the amazing orgasm talking? No, it's not. I know it's not. But that doesn't mean I'm not scared out of my mind with the fear that if I say it, he'll run.
I pull back an inch to look into his eyes, searching for something I hope is there. He lifts a hand to push aside the hair from my face. I turn my head to press my lips to his hand and then I bring my fingers up to trace his mouth.
"Do you love me?" I ask and then gasp with wide eyes when I realize what I just asked.
Edward freezes, his entire body solid as stone.
"I'm sorry," I blurt out immediately after. "I didn't… never mind." I turn my face away to stare out of the smudge in the fogged up window my hand had wiped clean earlier.
I hate how quiet it is. I hate that he didn't say yes. That he didn't jump at the chance to tell me he loves me, because I want to desperately to tell him I love him. I want to scream it at the top of my lungs for some reason. I have never been as certain as I am in this exact minute of how I feel about Edward Cullen.
And yet… it's so obvious that I am the only one who feels this.
I gulp a lump of fear down my throat and start to pull my body away from his. I can feel my eyes tearing up—my nose tingling, my throat swelling—I'm going to cry. I am so stupid. Why couldn't I have kept my big fat mouth shut? What is wrong with me? On what planet was this the right time to bring this topic up between us?
"Don't." He grabs me above the elbows to stop me from moving away from him. "Bella, look at me."
I shake my head and clench my eyes shut. I try to take deep breaths to calm myself down. I will not cry. I will not cry. I will not cry.
"Baby, please." He takes my chin in his hand and moves my face toward his. His nose nuzzles me, and then his forehead leans forward to touch mine. "I'm sorry," he whispers.
I feel my chest being sucked inside out at his words. I shake my head so he'll stop, because I don't want to hear him apologize for not feeling the same as I do. I curse my stupid mouth and its lack of a working filter.
"Baby, please look at me?" he pleads and presses a soft kiss to my lips. "Bella." He shakes me firmly.
My eyes open slowly.
"I really don't think you understand exactly how much you mean to me," he explains with soft eyes and gentle hands that cradle my face.
"Then say it," I blubber with a trembling lower lip.
He smirks playfully. "Ladies first."
I blink in pure shock. "What?"
He leans in and kisses me softly, once, twice, then he deepens the kiss while his right hand caresses my back and the other curves around to feather his fingers down my stomach to between my legs so that I'm breathless and pumped up for round two. His tongue caresses mine into submission as his hands touch me in a way that makes me feel precious and delicate.
His lips touch my cheeks, my eyelids, and then he moves to my ear. "I adore you, Isabella Swan. For a very, very long time, I've waited to tell you how much I do. I want you to know how special you are, but words aren't shit, Bella. I've heard them over and over again from someone who would never have done what they did if what they'd said was true."
I swallow my surprise as I realize what he's saying.
I shiver as his scruffy chin rubs against my cheek—all the places where his unshaven jaw has touched me tingle blissfully. My lips are red and swollen from his passionate kisses during our intense make-up sex. I can still feel the small aftershocks sprint throughout my body and shoot electric bolts of desire down to my lady bits. Instinctively, I start to rub myself against his cock until it begins to harden once again.
"So, I'll show you. I'm sorry I left you earlier, I… I had to get out of there before I lost my control," he says, his eyes staring into mine, hoping for understanding and forgiveness.
"It hurt so bad to watch you go." I press my forehead to the spot below his ear. "I knew you'd be back, though. But I didn't know when, or if it would be to tell me you were done with me."
He curses under his breath and then nudges me to look at him. "I will never be done with you."
I sigh. "You say that, but—"
His hands grip my hips firmly. "I will never be done with you," he says again more determinedly.
"Then, tell me you love me." I bend my mouth to his, my lips hovering so close I breathe his breath. "They may be just words to you, but they mean everything to me. If you mean what you say, then—"
He captures my mouth with his. A frenzied, hurried kiss that he tries to distract me with so that I can't see how scared he is, or how much he trembles beneath me, or how fast his heart beats and how shallow his breaths are. But I notice all of them, even his sweaty palms and his pinched brow. I don't know what he's so scared of, but I tell myself I'll wait—for a little while.
One of his hands rubs up and down my back and I feel a tingle start in my lower belly. It grows with every caress of his hand, every pass of his lips over my shoulder, every nip from his teeth on my skin. My hips roll, pressing my dripping pussy against his awakened cock.
"Edward," I whisper into his ear, "take me again."
This time, he sets my hands on the back of the front seat and takes me from behind—his chest against my back, his hands over mine, his breath at my spine—its divine. It's intense and intimate because his fingers link with mine and I push back against him and moan in only a way he can make me—a deep, keening cry from the back of my throat that comes out in a whimper and ends with a loud shout of his name. Desire coils within me like a wisp of smoke curling into the air from the burning end of a blunt. Having sex with Edward is so fucking incredible that I can't feel anything but how he makes my pussy clench and throb like an extension of our shared, beating heart. I can feel him inside of me, feel every part of him sliding inside and pulling out, causing havoc throughout my entire nervous system.
"C'mere," he says right before I'm hauled backward so that his back hits the seat and my spine aligns with his chest. His mouth is at my ear, his hands move up to grip my tits firmly between his fingers as I raise my own hands to cover his, and then he pulls one hand away, taking mine with it, to press against our joined sexes. "That's me inside you, baby," he whispers to me, hot breath fanning down my shoulder and tickling my nipples.
I nod and turn my head toward his mouth, so that he'll kiss me while his fingers tease my clit, and I reach down to grip his balls between mine. He hisses and bites down onto my lip fiercely, a groan escaping his throat and turning me on like a light—I shine bright, blindly bright. I clench my eyes and roll my hips against him, loving that quick zing I feel tighten within my abdomen when I do so. I do it again, and then one of Edward's hands slides up from my pussy to press his palm over my stomach and glide its way up to my throat where he gently pulls me closer to him with his hand around my neck and his thumb at my jaw.
I'm seconds away from going out with a bang. His grip on my throat tightens only a fraction and it stirs me on like an aphrodisiac. Holy shit, I'm getting into some kinky stuff. I love it. I love him. I cry out without purpose other than to release a moan of excitement, and then I feel his teeth nipping my earlobe and his breath is fast and hot, and then he says, "Don't come yet."
Fuck, that's going to be hard, baby. I'm about to blast off from your monster missile of a dick.
I struggle to hold on, to keep from coming, to do as he says. His cock pulsates inside of me and I whimper as my throbbing walls clamp around him to heighten the sensation, and then he's whispering in my ear again, but I don't hear anything except for, "I love you, Bella. I fucking love you more than I've ever loved anything or anyone in my entire existence. Come for me."
His free hand clenches at my hip and I come so hard I wonder if my scream shatters the windows.
Holy fuck, I think I died.
-x-
You don't know what's in store Open your hand
But you know what you're here for
Close your eyes
Lay yourself beside me
Hold tight for this ride
We don't need no protection
Come alone
We don't need attention
Take a glass
Don't be scared
I'm right here
Even though you don't roll
Trust me girl
You wanna be high for this
-x-
AN: This chapter's title (as well as posted lyrics above) refers to the song High for This by The Weeknd.
I'm typokween on tumblr & twitter, and Typokween Writes on Facebook. Seriously, if you want to see the images and teasers for this fic, you might want to check out my twitter/tumblr.
I will also answer any questions you might have for TSB on my tumblr—unless you're being an ass about it. Please don't bitch at me to update in a demanding way. It makes me feel like you don't give a flying fuck about what I have going on in my life or how hard I try to get these chapters out. Thank you to all who respect that it takes time and I'm doing the best I can.
TK's FIC REC: Martial Bitch by Jillian Landers. OMG it's so good! Thank you DarlingSaila for recommending this fic and introducing me to Southieward! *drools*
NEXT WEEK'S UPDATE: Will arrive on schedule—next year (lol). Friday, PST.
Happy New Year: I stress that you all be very safe during the holiday. I know we all plan to get drunk off awesome tasting pomegranate margaritas with that sugary rock shit around the rim—but PLEASE drive safely. Take a cab, or designate a sober driver (this does not mean the person in your group who is the most sober). Okay, I'll stop sounding like a mom now. Haha.
SEE YA NEXT YEAR, BITCHES! (*KISS*)