PSManiac: Live long and prosper, loyal readers, and welcome to Chapter Twenty-Four! We look to the future as our heroes head to the bustling futuristic city of
Zeropolis! I can't remember who to thank for suggestions, but you know who you are! I own only the stuff that I thought of myself. Enjoy or be vaporized!
Chapter Twenty-Four: Quantum of Ignorance
The N- Team walked through the bustling city streets of Zeropolis. Neo was holding a map of the city. He studied the roads and buildings drawn on the map.
"According to the map," Neo said, "There should be a hamburger restaurant right about here."
He looked up from the map, and found himself looking straight at a brick wall. He studied the map again.
"This can't be right," the mad scientist said.
Tropy rolled his eyes and turned the map right side up.
"…Oh," Neo said.
He turned around, still staring at the map, and began walking. But he collided with someone and fell to the ground.
"Hey! Watch it!" Neo snapped as he looked up, "Oh, it's you."
In front of him was his nemesis Crash Bandicoot.
"What are you doing here, bandicoot?" Neo asked, "We have dibs on this world, do we Tropy?"
Tropy shrugged in response.
"We can't fight each other, guys," Coco said, "We need to find whatever's left of the crystals and gems so that we can go home."
"Well, we have twelve crystals and one gem," Neo told them, "Beat that, marsupials."
"We have thirteen crystals and one gem," Crunch said.
"Beginner's luck," Neo said.
"And what are we beginners at, exactly?" Aku Aku asked.
"It's… umm… we don't have time!" he exclaimed, "We have to find the last two gems!"
"Actually we have only one gem left," N. Gin said.
"That's what I said, one gem," Neo stated.
"But ya said," Billy Bob started, "…never mind, we need to find the last gem."
"But this city is huge!" Plat said, "It would take forever to find one gem!"
Suddenly, there was a huge explosion in the middle of the city.
"What in the name of Steven Spielberg was that?" Crunch asked in surprise.
"I saw it! It's alive! It's huge!" N. Gin screamed.
"What did you mean by that?" Nina asked.
"I just always wanted to say that," N. Gin told her.
The smoke cleared, and everything seemed calm. That was until a robotic scorpion tail the size of a skyscraper burst out of the ground and began shooting lasers
out of the end of the tail.
"We have to defeat that thing!" Coco told everyone, "We might have a better chance with our forces combined!"
The ten of them ran up to the giant tail. The tail stopped blasting the city and looked down at the heroes. Neo saw the ground beneath them crack.
"Something's coming out of the ground!" he yelled, "Run!"
Everyone ran away as something came out of the ground. The tail was connected to a gigantic robotic scorpion. It had pincers with wrist mounted, triple barreled
laser cannons, had a dark gray color, and had a head that looked like and Interdroid head.
"It's an Interdroid," Captain Plat said, staring in awe at the gigantic robot scorpion. The head open to show none other than Ratsputin, Fangula, Smash, Dash, Hairy
Mole, Gila Lobster, Nigel, Turbozuma, and Metalbeard controlling the metal monstrosity.
"Heroes, say hello to the pinnacle of Interdroid technology," Ratsputin said, "the Uberdroid!"
"Hello!" N. Gin called.
"Thanks to N. Terdimensional's life support technology," Metalbeard said, "I can live to plunder the 0th Dimension forever! But first, I'll keelhaul you landlubbers,
first."
"Who did you think brought me back to life in the first place?" Turbozuma asked, "It was N. Terdimensional. Who did you expect, the tooth fairy?"
"We will destroy ya'll faster than a cheetah on fire running to water!" Hairy Mole exclaimed.
"And just to make things more interesting…" Fangula said as he pressed the big red button.
The windshield wipers turned on.
"Sorry, wrong button," he said, and he flipped through the owner's manual.
"It's this button," Fangula told everyone, pressing the big blue button.
A gigantic army of all kinds of Interdroids appeared, including Gigadroids and Omegadroids.
"We're in trouble," Neo said.
Plat got out a remote control and pressed a button. The Sarsaparilla zoomed into view and stopped in front of them.
"And yet it doesn't have an autopilot," Neo said.
They boarded the ship and it flew into the air.
"Now, I need to pilot the ship while eight of you operate the weapons," Plat said, "Crash, I will drop you off on the roof of a building. There, you need to defeat the
Uberdroid. All of you need to do this because the author says so, okay?"
All of them nodded.
"Okay, here we go," Plat said as a door on the ship opened.
Crash walked through the door onto the roof of a building. He watched as the Sarsaparilla flew off to fight the army of Interdroids. Crash turned to face Uberdroid,
which has crawled up the side of the building.
"You can't possibly win, bandicoot!" Ratsputin declared, "As long as my name is Otto Von Prudence Ratsputin!"
The Uberdroid gave an unearthly roar and fired lasers at Crash from a wrist mounted cannon. The bandicoot leapt out of the way and, to his luck, found an explosive
barrel dispenser. As the Uberdroid prepared to fire again, Crash threw a barrel at the cannon. It exploded on contact, leaving the cannon completely destroyed.
"You'll pay for that!" Nigel roared.
Crash got out of his pocket some money.
"Not that kind of pay!" Nigel said.
The Uberdroid's tail blasted the building in half, and making it start to collapse. Crash quickly jumped onto the roof of a nearby building. The Uberdroid followed the
orange marsupial and aimed its other cannon. The cannon shot bombs at the bandicoot.
"Bomb voyage, Crash Bandicoot!" Gila said, "Get it? Because… of the bombs and… never mind."
Crash spun back an oncoming bomb. It bounced back to the Uberdroid's "Bomb Cannon" and exploded.
"I really hate this guy," Dash said as the Uberdroid's tail made the building to start collapsing.
Crash quickly jumped onto the roof of a third building. The huge robot's tail faced Crash. It began firing lasers and bombs at the bandicoot. Crash, now knowing how
to beat this guy, avoided the lasers and spun a bomb at the tail. The explosion destroyed the tail.
"You'll be wishing that ye never did that, landlubber," Metalbeard said.
Crash leapt onto another building as the one he was previously standing on collapsed. Our mammalian hero faced the Uberdroid's… well… face!
"Dash, how come I don't have any lines left?" Smash asked.
"You just had some right there," Dash told him.
"Oh yeah!" Smash said.
The Uberdroid fired lasers, bombs, and lasers at Crash. Crash simply spun a bomb back at the robot's head.
"Let's get out of here!" Hairy yelled.
The villains leapt out of the Uberdroid and onto the rooftop just before the Uberdroid's head exploded. The rest of the huge robot fell to the ground.
"Celebrate in victory for as long as you can, bandicoot," Ratsputin said, "Because now you have us to deal with!"
Suddenly, the Sarsaparilla appeared behind Crash and pointed all of its weapons at the group of bad guys.
"Here!" Hairy Mole exclaimed in fear as he handed Crash the power gem and ran away with the rest of the villains.
The ship landed, and Coco ran out and hugged her brother.
"Great job, Crash!" Coco cheered, "You got the power gem!"
"You're probably wondering how we beat the Interdroids so quickly," Neo told Crash, "Well N. Gin was operating the ship's flamethrower, he farted, and… you can
guess the rest."
Then, a spaceship that looked like a bus appeared in front of them. Its doors opened.
"Bandicoots and N- Team," the recorded voice of N. Terdimensional stated, "Enter the transport vessel to the Zerolith. There, we can… take you home. And no one
else may enter the transport vessel."
"I guess this is goodbye," Nina told Billy Bob and Captain Plat.
Billy Bob trapped everyone in a bone-crushing hug.
"I'm gonna miss you guys!" he cried.
"Can't… breathe…" Cortex choked out.
"Why are you hugging me? I'm staying in this dimension!" Plat said.
"Oh yeah," Billy Bob said, "But I'll still miss you!"
"Let go, Billy Bob!" Coco said, "I can't feel my spine!"
Billy Bob let go of them, with tears still in his eyes. Don't you just want to hug him? Not unless you were born without a bone structure.
"Goodbye," everyone said to Billy Bob and Captain Plat.
Our eight heroes boarded the space bus. Its doors closed and zoomed away. The platypus captain watched the bus fly away, and then his eyes opened in
realization.
"I know what N. Terdimensional is going to do with the crystals and gems!" he declared, "We have to follow them!"
"But can we follow them?" Billy Bob asked.
Plat pointed to the Sarsaparilla.
"Oh yeah, that ship there," Billy Bob said.
The two of them rushed into the Sarsaparilla, with heroic music playing in the background, and it took of in pursuit of the eight heroes. They hoped that they weren't
too late.
The bandicoots waited for their arrival at the Zerolith. They can hardly believe that after adventuring in this weird and wonderful dimension, that they are finally
going to go back home.
"Look at that!" Crunch said, pointing out the window.
Everyone looked where Crunch was pointing to see a huge, spherical space station of black metal with rings of different shapes and sizes spinning around it.
Orbiting around the huge space station were perhaps thousands smaller, but identical, ships.
"Ladies and Gentlemen," Doctor Neo Cortex said, "Welcome to the Zerolith."
Next time on Crash Dimension Dilemma…
Our heroes travel to the Zerolith to go back to their beloved planet. Meanwhile, Captain Plat and Bill Bob zoom after the Earthling heroes. Will N. Terdimensional be
true to his word? Will Captain Plat and Billy Bob warn our heroes in time? Can you survive the anticipation for the next chapter? Find out in Chapter Twenty-Five:
Space Oddity!
PSManiac: Edge of our seats, aren't we? Review!