On the morning of the 3rd…

Miyabi was too excited to hold in the secret she knew. She had to let it out. She had to confront Lukina about his 'problem' and about her 'secret plan.'

"I'm going to harass Lumina now~" Miyabi waved to Kaoru as she opened the door.

Kaoru was trying to patch a hole in the flour bag. The one that Train had ripped long ago creating a whole colony of termites to migrate into the house and eat Kaoru's bed. (She slept on the floor ever since.)

"Wait a little bit longer. If we tell him too early, things could go wrong," she worked without looking up.

Miyabi laughed. "Kaoru, please, this is ME we're talking about. I'll use my powers of seduction to get him to do anything I want."

"He's gay."

"For Rock!" Miyabi smiled. "It's that sexy?"

"No...no, not really," Kaoru frowned.

Miyabi scoffed. "Don't worry, I can handle this!" And then she ran off.

&&&

"Now, Luke, Sebastian and I are going to play in my bedroom. If you walk in on us again, I will shove my cane up your ass," she smiled and walked off to the bedroom, a naked Sebastian following her in.

Lukina smiled to himself and decided to walk in on them, for the last time Romana shoved something up his ass, he liked it, but that besides the point...

Lukina's smile fadded and he continued to play the Backstreet Boys on the piano.

"It's gonna--gonna--gonna--" He started singing along with it. "It's gonna be--"

"You!"

Lukina jumped at the sudden cry that came from the door which had been flung open. He turned to glare at Miyabi.

"You have a hot voice," she said, walking over to him and leaning against his piano. "Oh, I know! Sing 'I Kissed a Boy'!"

Lukina blushed as his eyes widened. "W-what?"

"If I take off my shirt, will you play it?"

"No!" Lukina was immediately turned off. He got up. "You have just interrupted my lessons--"

"AH! OH! Sebastian! AAAAH!! OH MY HEAVENS!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"

They heard the horrible, cry-moan-scream of pleasure come from the bedroom.

Both Miyabi and Lukina stared at the bedroom door, both utterly terrified and receiving a wave of horrible images.

"What...the...hell..." Miyabi honestly had no better words.

Lukina took this opportunity to run for his bedroom.

"Hey!" Miyabi cried and chased after him.

Lukina ran into his bedroom and right before Miyabi could jump through the doorway, Lukina slammed the door shut.

He let out a sigh of relief and fell back onto his bed. Now all he needed to do was wait for Miyabi to give up and leave.

After a few seconds of silence, Lukina was sure Miyabi was gone. He sat up and looked to the door. Should he open it?

Then, the door flew open. He gasped.

"You forgot to lock it!" Miyabi laughed.

"Oh...shit..."

Miyabi shut the door behind her and developed a serious look on her face. "Let's cut to the queer, literally, I know your secret."

Lukina's eyes widened. "What?"

"And don't think about killing me, either. I'm not the only one who knows your secret. If I die, the person who also knows will know to tell the whole town about you," she smirked evilly, feeling very clever.

Lukina growled. There was no way out of this. "So what's my secret?"

"You're a man!" Miyabi said proudly.

Lukina gasped again. She was right! Curses. Lukina bit his lip. "Is this all you wanted to tell me?"

"Well..." Miyabi walked over to the bed and groped Lukina.

He let out a squeal and pushed her back. "Ah! Now I feel so filthy!" He cried.

"Whoa! You really do have a bajinger! And it's kinda big, too," Miyabi blushed. "Why am I here again? Oh yeah...I need your help."

Lukina, who was still blushing and glaring, hissed. "Why should I help you?"

"Because if you don't, Rock might die."

"Rock!" Lukina cried. "Why would Rock be in danger?!"

Miyabi took a breath. "He's the deal; Rock is a drug dealer there's a Harvest Sprite and this Sprite stole some weed that Rock was growing and then the Sprite lost the weed because a baby eat the weed and overdosed and then Van, you know, the fat pedophile, he was working with Roller, uh--Roller is the Sprite, and so Van asks Roller for the drugs and we run into them and make a deal with Van saying that we'd get him drugs to replace the stolen ones in order to protect Roller because my stupid roommate used to love him and so then Van tells us that if we don't get him what he needs he'll kill everyone involved in this case!" She gasped for breath.

Lukina only stared at her as if she just said something totally awful, sinful, evil, insane and purely mad. Lukina's face twisted into a disgusted cringe.

"Rock would never sell drugs," was the only thing he could whisper.

"Can't resists the facts, babe!" Miyabi snapped her fingers.

Lukina looked like he was about to cry. "W-what do I have to do? How can I save my poor Rocky-kins!"

"His new set of drugs finishes growing this fall. When they grow, seduce him, steal them and then do him in the ass!" Miyabi said very seriously.

Lukina blushed. Not a bad plan at all.

"Why don't you tell Rock about this?" Lukina tried to reason. "He would surely give his drugs away to save everyone! Oh, wait…"

"Exactly."

"Okay. I'll do this, but only for Rock! Even though I'm stealing from him, I know it's to ultimately save him!" Lukina tried to assure himself.

"That's the spirit, baby!" Miyabi smiled. "Now remember, kill me and the whole town will know you're a tranny!"

"I'm not a transvestite I…" Lukina had no evidence to back himself up. "Natsume doesn't like gay guys so I had to turn into a girl..."

"Well, damn!" Miyabi breathed out. "So anyway, good luck fucking Rock and don't try to do anything uh—stupid, because remember--"

"I know!" Lukina sighed, getting up and pushing Miyabi out the door.

Miyabi happily skipped down the steps while Lukina stood by his door, feeling very awful.

"OH SEBASTIAN GIVE IT TO ME!!!!"

He heard the scream and thought he would puke. It was then that he decided to spy on his them, since he really needed something up the ass right about then.

....Several orgasms later....

Lukina pulled his pants back on and set off. He had a job to do. Romana used the cane to create her own orgasms and then Sebastian had his turn.

There's nothing wrong with this family, really!

&&&

"I'm an Oscar Myer wiener!!" Rock sang, rolling around on the ground.

"Gosh...Rock..." Cliff stared at the lamp. "Stop uh...smoking tho-those drugs...!"

"Are you a wiener, Cliff?!" Rock asked, laughing.

"Wiener..." Cliff blushed. "Ah..! I'm not gay!"

Rock busted out laughing, "Dude you're so homo!"

"Whoa! Aaaaam not!" Cliff whined, eyes now burning from staring at the light for too long.

Just then the door busted open to reveal Lukina. Rock gasped when he spotted him. "Hey, Babe."

"Rock! We have to talk!" Lukina breathed heavily.

"Talk is cheap, babe. I need sex! With the ocean! Bow chicka wow wow!" Rock winked at him.

Lukina rolled his eyes. So this was the effect of the drugs Rock dealt...and smoked.

"Rock, we need to talk in private."

"Hehe, you said PRIVATES!" Rock giggled.

"NOW!" Lukina grabbed Rock by the wrist and pulled him out into the hallway.

"...I! I...! I'm not g-gay!" Cliff whined once more.

From outside the hallway, Lukina looked around. No one was around. Good. He pushed the door to Rock's bedroom shut.

Rock continued to sing. "My bologna has a first name!"

"Rock!" Lukina cried, looking at him seriously.

Rock laughed a little and blinked. "Yeah, babe?"

"Will you marry me?"