The pressure on Wanda's throat made her feel as though it was about to break in two. It wasn't like anything she had ever felt before. No one had ever tried to strangle her. People had tried to shoot her, to stab her, but never strangle.
She continued trying to cause as much pain as she could without doing any permanent damage, even though oxygen was running out. It might have been Malice's black eyes staring back at her, but it was Lorna's face, Lorna's body. As long as there was a chance her sister was still there, then she wasn't going to kill her.
But she was running out of air and she needed to do something. Malice wasn't letting go. She wasn't getting any oxygen in. Black spots were starting to dance before her eyes, and Wanda knew enough to know that death wasn't far behind.
Malice grimaced suddenly, but it wasn't from pain. She'd been doing that for a while. Wanda felt the pressure decrease fractionally, not enough for her to break away but enough to get a little oxygen, and she realized that something was happening.
"Shut up," Malice seethed, "Shut up, shut up-"
Had Alex woken up? Wanda could just see that he hadn't. Malice suddenly let go of Wanda's throat, clutching her head. Wanda gasped, trying to get as much oxygen as possible. She wanted to get up and fight her, but she could barely stand on her own feet let alone fight.
As she struggled to regain her breath Malice began pounding the side of her head.
"Shut up, shut up, shut up!" she snarled.
Wanda watched her as she slowly regained her breath. Something was going on, something that she didn't understand. Somewhere, she was missing something. And as she watched Malice claw at her head, Wanda finally realized what it had taken her far too long to see.
Her sister was fighting back. Somewhere inside, Lorna was trying to dig her way out. Wanda ran up to Malice, hesitating. Were her powers useful for something like this? In the past she'd found that her gifts were only limited by her imagination, and healing.
Sitting on the sidelines wasn't an option though. So, hesitantly, she put her hands on the side of Malice's head. Malice's black eyes shot up to hers, but Wanda couldn't be intimidated.
She wasn't sure if this was going to work, but she needed to try and reach Lorna somehow.
"Come on sis," she murmured, her throat burning, "Come back."
It felt like someone was ripping Malice apart, reaching inside of her heart and clawing at it. It was worse than anything Malice had ever felt, worse than the regret Lorna had made her feel over hurting Alex and Peter. Now she felt shame and despair but, more than anything, she felt alone.
This wasn't her though, weren't her emotions. They were all Lorna's, but whatever this was, it was worse than anything. Malice tried to push it out, remind herself that the emotions weren't hers. It didn't matter though: this body had once felt those emotions, once felt that despair. And the body remembered.
She felt hands clasp the sides of her head. She glared up at Wanda, who was looking at her with determination.
"Come on sis," Wanda murmured, "Come back."
Malice wanted to claw up and scratch out Wanda's eyes. She didn't know what she thought she was doing, but-
"Wanda, Peter, please!" Lorna said.
Wanda closed her eyes. Lorna watched as her sister breathed in, and Lorna silently begged her to disagree with her brother. They couldn't leave her behind. Not after everything she'd done for them, what she'd left behind, what she'd done.
Oh God, what she'd done. There had been so much blood.
"We can't take you with us," Wanda said.
Despair rose up, choking her, threatening to drown her.
"Then...then stay here with me!" Lorna pleaded.
Peter shook his head angrily. Why was he angry? He must be thinking this too. He must know that, if she couldn't come with them, they would have to stay with her. It was the only way they could all be together.
"You don't know what you're asking!" he said, "We can't give this up for you. Can't you see that?"
Lorna stared at him, her face soaked and her hands limp by her side. No. She didn't see that. How could something as trivial as the Brotherhood matter compared to what they were? To what they had promised her?
The stray thought gave Lorna something to latch onto. They had promised her that they would never be separated.
"You promised," she whispered.
There was silence, and then Wanda kissed the side of Lorna's head. They had to remember that promise. It was the only thing that had kept her going sometimes.
"We love you," she said, "But we can't do this. Peter's right: you're not ready for this Lorna."
Something deep inside her began cracking and chipping.
"We...we'll come back for you when you're older," Peter said, "Got it?"
Lorna watched as Wanda took her hands off her shoulders. Peter turned to Wanda, grabbed her trembling hand with his own. This wasn't happening. Couldn't be happening. The cracks became wider, and whatever it was inside her became more fragile.
"No, don't," Lorna said.
Peter continued walking, moving so fast, and taking Wanda with him. Why was he always moving so fast? Lorna tried to run after them, to grab onto her sister or Peter and plead with them. Instead she watched as Magneto nodded to them and then opened the door outside.
Her voice rose in her throat, hysterical and broken.
"Don't! Please!" Lorna screamed.
Neither her brother nor her sister looked back as the front door shut. And whatever it was inside of Lorna shattered completely. She didn't scream, didn't cry, didn't even move. There were some things that hurt too much for words, for tears.
That was the night that Lorna learned that, when your heart breaks, it does so quietly.
Malice fought and struggled against Wanda's grasp, but Wanda was holding firm. The memory seemed more real, more vivid than anything that Malice had ever felt before. It was sickening and despairing, and Malice didn't want to feel it.
Red sparks clouded her vision, pushing her down. She let go of her aching head, trying to smack Wanda's hands away. She was doing this. Wanda continued to hold on though, even though tears were leaking from her eyes. Malice snarled: she would give Wanda something to cry about-
There was a knock on the door. Lorna didn't turn around: she already knew who it would be.
"Lorna?" Charles asked.
She didn't answer, but she heard Charles open the door anyway. He was good like that, knowing that, sometimes, there were no words that could be said. She still didn't turn, keeping her eyes locked on the view of the yard before her.
Years ago she had come to the school, a broken and betrayed child. Almost every night she had come to the window seat and curled up, wondering about what her siblings were doing. As she grew, she'd wondered how many lives they had destroyed, how many of their fellow men and women they had killed in the name of mutant superiority.
But she hadn't made the decision to separate from the Brotherhood. Not for a long time. She'd foolishly believed that, if she held on tight enough, things could be as they were. They could be her anchor and pull her in from the sea.
However, that wasn't the way that things had gone. Night after night she had watched them on TV, heard about what they'd done, and come to recognize it as being wrong. It had left her between a rock and a hard place, and it had hurt.
After years of indecision, Lorna had realized what she'd had to do. For too long her identity had been mixed up with theirs and, now that she realized that they were wrong, she would have to step out on her own. After so long of clinging to them so tightly, of what she'd wanted to be to please them, she'd had to let them go.
She hoped that, in the future, they could do the same. Maybe someday they could let go of who she should be in their eyes, of what they should be. Then, maybe someday they might all be together again.
From behind her, Charles cleared his throat.
"Lorna-"
"I don't want to talk about it," she said.
He nodded, once again understanding. He was so very good at that.
"Is there anything I can get you?" he asked, "Anything I can do? Anything at all that you want?"
Lorna paused, and she closed her eyes. There was so much she wanted, and so little that he could give her. She would never be able to cling to Wanda and Peter as she once had. She might never even speak to them, not until they learned to let go of her as she was trying to let go of them.
However, there was one thing that he could help her with.
"I want to talk to my mother," she said.
Malice screamed in rage. She clawed at Wanda, who released her and fell to the ground. However, the red sparks still danced in front of her eyes. She dug her hands into the dirt and tried to find Lorna, tried to cage her. Malice wasn't going to go down without a fight.
Wanda could see that Malice was weakening. Tears were mixing with the blood from her nose, and her whole body was tense. Malice's movements were becoming increasingly erratic, almost involuntary.
But Wanda was crying too. She had been there, trying to strengthen whatever Lorna was doing. She had made the memories as real as possible, but that had meant a front row seat to all of Lorna's most emotional memories.
She had always wondered about the loneliness Lorna had felt. Just a few hours earlier she had thought that she knew how much damage had been done, but now she knew that she had only scratched the surface. Now she knew about her pain, knew about the confusion, the fear, and the utter, utter misery.
Malice had pushed her away and Wanda got to her feet. She could feel the after effects of oxygen-deprivation, and she was weak from the amount of power that she had expended in the last few minutes. There was more to do though.
Tears streaming down her face, she shakily got to her feet. If Lorna was fighting Malice using her emotions and memories, then maybe she could help in a way that wasn't just enhancing her memories. Maybe she could make new ones.
She just had to be brave.
"Lorna?" she said.
Her voice was raspy, and she coughed to clear it.
"Lorna!" she called.
She thought she saw Malice's eyes turn to her, no doubt wondering what she was doing this time.
"I..." Wanda said, "I..."
Tears were coming hot and fast down her cheeks. She clenched her fists.
"I'm sorry for all those years you felt alone and trapped," she said, "I'm sorry for disregarding you when I should have listened, should have trusted you. I'm sorry for not realizing what it was that I had done wrong."
Malice let out a frustrated growl, digging her hands into the ground. Wanda took a step forward.
"I'm sorry for not making my own decisions, for letting others make the decisions for me, for not questioning," she said, "I'm sorry for turning the person you looked up to into a monster, for not wanting you to live your own life."
She was very close now. Malice was screaming between clenched teeth. Wanda sank down to her knees. She paused, and then threw her hands around her, hugging her little sister tightly. Fingernails dug into her back, tearing at her jacket.
"I'm so sorry Lorna, I'm so damn sorry..." Wanda whispered.
The pain Malice was causing her was extreme now, and she knew that Malice had reached her skin.
"I can let you go too," she murmured, "I can let you go."