Again, I want to thank you all for your patience during my absence. Lots of inspiration today, and since I'm currently laid up in bed with an injury, this weekend should have me writing a lot more :) Thank you all again!

Castle and Beckett working through their issues. Like the should. This one is one of my favorites. It took a while to write, I had a hard time bringing them together. But once it came out, I found myself drawn to it. Hope you all enjoy it. Thank you all again for review, reading, following and favoriting. Always.

Castle stared blankly down at the chess board in front of him, the pieces blurring as his mind wandered. He'd been trying to think of a way to approach Beckett, a way to ease her worries. He wasn't used to the anger rolling off of her, despite the years of good humor torment he had subjected her to.

The small piece of paper with the account number that Sophia had slipped into his hand a few hours ago stood out against the dark wood of his table. He had dialed Beckett's number a few times, intent on telling her, but stopped short from letting the call connect.

He should have just been honest with Beckett from the beginning about Sophia Turner, not left her to fish for information. Castle had wanted to protect their relationship, their partnership. He had wanted to keep that part of his past separate.

The truth, now usually so easy with the two of them, had come out in the worst way. Lanie and Alexis' confused and horrified expressions were no match for Kate's hurt that flash in her eyes.

Beckett had been ignoring his phone calls, hadn't spoken to him since finding out he had had slept with Sophia. As he shuffled the pieces around on the board, the silence echoing around him, Castle felt sudden shame over his playboy past.

He'd guarded his heart after his failed marriages; acting as though sleeping around was the cure all to keep from getting hurt again. He never let himself get attached, intent on going through life with just his daughter in he'd met Beckett. She didn't buy into his philandering ways, kept him grounded without even realizing it. He had quickly realized as he fell for Beckett that she was the elixir for his past, was the true path to happiness.

He'd spent three years trying to show her he could be more, is more than what she thought he was. He wanted to be the man that was good enough for her, the one that Kate knew she could depend on.

Beckett had finally opened up to him, had finally let him in. They were making it, proving that a best-selling author and a simple cop (her words, not his,) could make it work. Until now.

"Sleep with whomever you want, the more the merrier."

He still felt the sting of her words, still could see the upset in her gaze. Castle shook his head as he leaned back away from the table, his eyes unfocused. He wished they could talk about the case, brainstorm their ideas together. He hated disappointing her. He could take her anger so much better than discontent.

"Have there been others?"
"Women?"
"Muses…I just wanted to see how big the club is."

Castle still felt her biting sarcasm despite the hours that had passed. No one had the power to hurt him as she did, with just a few simple words. Alexis' words from months ago crept up. I think she's got more power over you than just about any other woman. While once upon a time Sophia had been a part of his life, there was no comparison to Kate Beckett. Ever. She had to know that.

One thing he had learned from Kate and their unconventional relationship was to let her be in moments of anger. His frustration with Beckett over the lack of communication was nothing compared to his frustration with himself over hurting her.

Deciding a cup of coffee may help, Castle moved methodically through the loft. He carried his phone with him as if waiting for a phone call he kept thinking would not come. He poured the coffee on instinct, adding the sugar free vanilla that he now kept stocked in his kitchen without conscious thought.

He could hear his mother and Alexis moving around upstairs, their everyday lives not impacted by the turmoil rolling through Castle. He hated the silence that followed him, knowing tonight he would be separated from Kate.

The phone rang, startling him. Castle stared down at Beckett's smiling face, almost afraid to believe she was actually calling him. He took a deep breath as he answered, her name escaping on the exhale.

"Kate."

Silence greeted him, a soft sniffle catching his attuned ears. He stiffened against the counter, his heart stuttering in his chest.

"Kate? Are you…"
"No, I'm not okay. You slept with Sophia. And we're working with her."

Castle bit back his immediate retort of not living in the past, of just focusing on their case. He reminded himself that his past was suddenly her present. Castle leaned against the counter and said softly; hating the quiet desperation he could hear in his voice.

"What can I do? Tell me how to fix it."

He moved through the loft towards his bedroom, aching to see Kate sprawled across the bed than just hear her voice on the other end of a distant phone line.

"I don't know."

He stopped short at her resigned tone, felt a quiver of fear at the simple fact-of-the-matter with which she spoke.

"Maybe we should just…"
"No. That's not an option."
"You don't even know what I was going to say."

Castle heard the brittle defiance in her tone, relished in the slight frustration he picked up on. He sat down on the couch as he flipped the paper Sophia had given him between his fingers. He finally admitted softly, the ticking of the wall clock settling his jumbled thoughts.

"I'm coming over."
"Too late, I'm already at the loft."

Her words washed over him, breathed new life into his fractured spirit. Castle felt the tension ease from his shoulders as he hurried through the loft, pulling open the heavy door with a flourish.

Beckett still had on the clothes she'd worn after her cruiser was plummeted into the Hudson. She'd pulled back her hair, loose tendrils framing her face. Her green eyes, shining bright from her tears, held his blue ones as they stood at the threshold. Neither of them moved. Finally, she spoke, her voice barely above a whisper.

"I was going to say maybe we should just talk."

Kate had been right; he didn't know what she was going to say. Castle had held her past against her, expected her to shut down and turn him away. He shoved his hands in his pockets as she continued a small tremor now evident in her voice.

"You should have told me."

The sadness in Kate's voice ripped through him, shame causing Castle to hang his head. Her hands, soft and delicate, found his. Kate squeezed gently, drawing his attention again.

"No more secrets, okay?"

Castle shook his head as she stepped into his arms, pressing into him. He whispered against her hair, his fingers dancing along her spine.

"You're right. I should have told you."
"Castle…"

He pushed away from her, frustration brimming within him. His anger at hurting her; at putting unwanted distance between them, of being the one to give her pause, flared. He grabbed the piece of paper off the table. He held it out in front of them, saying harshly as his anger grew.

"Sophia brought this to the loft a few hours ago. I was going to bring it in tomorrow when I thought you wouldn't still be mad at me. But I deserve it."

Castle shoved a hand through his hair as he rambled, beginning to pace in front of her. He saw Kate's eyes barely glance down at the paper in her hands, her eyes quickly finding his again as he spoke.

"You're right. I should have told you. I should have kept you informed about the case as soon as she told me, and I definitely should have told you about my history with Sophia. She isn't my partner. You are. You are my partner. And I'm so sorry, Kate. I'm so sorry I didn't."

Kate stopped him with a gentle tug on his arm. She pulled him against her, pressing her torso into his. Beckett made sure he was watching, her eyebrows raised in defiance, as she shoved the paper in her jacket pocket. Castle swallowed hard as he understood her meaning—the case could wait. She ran her hands tenderly down his arms, drawing his eyes to her face. Beckett stared at him and said bluntly

"Castle we have come too far for this to stop us. We've survived bombs and shootings and tigers…we're okay. I'm not thrilled, but I get it. But you had a past before us, Rick. We've had this conversation before. If we were getting married, would you want to know the number of people I slept with?"

Castle felt the intense jealously burn through him, hating the images that flashed through his mind of Kate with other men. She captured his attention again as she pressed gentle kisses to his skin, whispering against his throat

"And while I'm not exactly great with the idea that you've been with her, Castle, it's more than that. I just hate that now I have to work with her. I don't trust her. I think she's not the person you think she is, and I'm worried for you. I don't want you to get hurt."

Her voice wavered slightly as she spoke, her eyes searching his face. Castle swallowed, felt the emotions bob in his throat as he tried to keep them at bay. Kate Beckett, woman extraordinaire. He shook his head, marveling at her.

"You are extraordinary."

He felt Kate's smile against his neck as she buried her face, her words soft and secure.

"That sounds vaguely familiar."

Castle framed her face with his hands, his thumbs drawing small circles on her cheeks. Kate's eyes shown with love; the truth evident in her gaze. Despite all he had put her through, she had willingly come to him. She loved him. He spoke his next words freely, adamant that she understand.

"I meant it then, when I didn't even know the true meaning of the word. You are extraordinary, Kate."

Castle's breath caught in his throat as he was treated to a Kate Beckett smile. It soft at first, almost tentative. It blossomed over her face, warmth radiating from her. This was his favorite smile, the one that was reserved just for him. It reached Kate's eyes, bringing a light he was slowly getting used to seeing in her. She lowered her gaze to his shirt as she trailed her fingers down the buttons, desire now thick in the room. He dug his fingers into her waist as he dropped his lips to her ear. Castle pressed a tender kiss to the shell before whispering gently, need lacing his words

"How about I spend the new few hours showing you how true those words are?"

He felt the shiver that raced through her, igniting the fire in him. Castle didn't give her a chance to respond, his lips finding hers. He kissed her desperately, pouring his feelings into her. She pushed him backwards into the loft, propelling their bodies to the bedroom. He shut the door firmly behind them, intent on leaving the rest of the world out tonight. Just him and Beckett. The way it should be.

Once in the sanctity of his bedroom, her hands began to roam. Gently at first, slipping the buttons through the small holes with purpose. As she pushed his shirt off his shoulders, Beckett whispered the words he knew had been haunting her since Sophia had appeared.

"Was Clara based on Sophia?"

Castle pulled back, his breathing a little ragged as he tried to get his bearings. He pushed a strand of hair behind her ear and whispered truthfully, hoping his eyes portrayed his thoughts. Her fingers continued to skip along his skin, her eyes never wavering from his.

"Clara started off like Sophia. But she ended up more like you. Smart, fierce, kind. I think that's one of the reasons I was drawn to you. As a muse."

He peppered kisses along her jaw and throat, his lips ghosting down her neck. She moaned softly as he continued against her creamy skin.

"As a muse at first. Now…I'm just drawn to you. In every way. You inspire me. You make me a better man, and a better person. Nikki Heat barely scratches the surface of how much inspiration you give me."

He traced his fingers over her abs, grinning as she sucked in her breath. He worked her tee-shirt up over her head, meeting her eyes as his fingers skimmed her now exposed skin.

"You're mind astounds me. The way you think through a murder. How focused you are. How hard you fight."

He unclasped her bra, sliding the thin straps down her arms. Castle grinned as her eyes fluttered closed; she had told him recently how much she loved when he took his time admiring her, taking her in. He groaned softly as he raised his hand, cupping her in his palm. He brushed his thumb across her, taking a deep breath as he watched her nipple harden under his tender touch.

"Castle…"

He gently pushed her on the bed, holding her gaze as she propped herself up on her elbows. Dropping down to her, he sucked gently on her neck, nipping lightly at her tender skin. Castle covered her body with his own, his lips almost instinctively finding her pleasure spots. Kate threaded her fingers through his hair, tugging gently on the shorts stands as her kissed the valley between her breasts.

He whispered into her skin, worshiping her with his words as well as his hands.

"Your body excites me. Your confidence blows me away. You don't need a man, but you let me be yours. That inspires me."

He moved down her lithe frame, tracing patterns with his tongue before tugging one taut nipple into his mouth. Kate gasped as he sucked her. She held him to her; Castle drew her deeper into the cavern of his mouth, humming against her aroused skin. Kate's reverberating moan seeped into him, rushing him slightly as he wanted to hear that sound again. He slid a hand between them and tugged on her pants, halfheartedly pulling them down.

Kate giggled, a sound Castle couldn't help but smile at, as she raised her hips. Castle balanced on his knees as he placed his hands over hers, helping get her pants off completely. He groaned low in his throat at the hip hugging boy shorts she wore.

"Your goodness is staggering. How great you are with the boys at the precinct, and to see you with Alexis. My mother. You embrace the crazy that comes along with me."

He pressed open mouth kisses to her flat stomach, dipping his tongue into her navel. Kate pushed on his shoulders, trying to encourage his movements downward. Castle pressed tender kisses to the inside of her thigh as he pushed her panties down, softly moaning at the sight of her already dripping in front of him. He met her eyes as he stammered

"How far we've come together leaves me aching. From the first time you sent me away to you showing up tonight. I ache for you. For more of you, to know you more, to show you more."

Kate sighed contently as his words filled the quiet bedroom. He breathed her in, his eyes soaking in her desire ridden appearance. He shifted on the bed, his hands preceding his lips down her enticingly long legs. She whimpered as he moved away from her soaked core, intent on teasing her.

The low growl in her throat caught his attention. Unable to help himself anymore with her, Castle nestled between her thighs. He let his breath wash over her, delighting in the soft moan of pleasure she couldn't hold back. Beckett pressed her hips up, trying to get closer. Castle felt her clench the sheet in her fists, her body reacting instinctively to him, knowing what was coming. Kate mewled softly, his name slipping out in frustration as he continued to withhold.

"Cas-"

He dove in, pressing his tongue deep into her. He drank her in, sneaking his hands under her to press her further into him. His fingers kneaded her flesh as she squirmed closer, desperate for him to take more of her. Kate ground out through her teeth, finally relinquishing the sheet with one hand to press her fingers into the back of his head.

"God, Rick. I…oh God."

He hummed as his first name rumbled from her, breathless and wanting from her as he feasted on her. Moving his hand, Castle pressed his tongue to her aroused bundle of nerves as he slid a finger into her waiting warmth. She bucked her hips against his face, eager for more. Castle let himself get lost in the incoherent noises coming from Kate as he slid another thick finger into her wetness. Her walls fluttered around him, already tantalizingly close to bliss.

Castle raised his head as she tensed around him, his words rough as he practically begged her, curling his fingers inside her and hitting the spot that pushed her over the edge.

"Come on Kate…I need to see you come for me."

Kate broke apart at his words. She dug her heels into his back as she came, drawing him in closer to her. Castle lapped at her as she shuddered, on a breath whispering for him, needing him

"Oh God, I love you so much Rick."

Castle's heart sped up at her words, once again reminded how lucky he was to have this with Beckett. As she relaxed under his touch, Castle withdrew his fingers from her, trailing her wetness down her thigh. She whimpered softly at the loss of contact, drawing Castle's eyes to her. He stood over her as he slowly unbuttoned his pants, taking her in. She was beautiful.

Kate's hair fanned the bed, her green eyes half closed as she gradually came back to him. He bit back a moan as she tugged her bottom lip between her teeth, chasing the marks she indented with her tongue. Her chest heaved with her heavy breathing; Castle's eyes were drawn to the simple round scar and nestled between her perfect breasts. Her taut muscles quivered under his lingering gaze as if knowing he was nowhere near done loving her, adulating her. Kate choked out a sob as he his lips traced where his fingers had grazed her on the inside of her thigh, the taste of her lingering. He pressed a tender kiss to her, her hips bucking against him and a long slow moan escaping, causing Castle's hard flesh to twitch in response.

He needed her around him, squeezing him, holding him within her. Needed her to see it was her, just her, always her that could be the only one for him. Beckett's eyes narrowed as he stood at the end of the bed, still partly dressed. She didn't have to say the words running through their minds, both so in sync. She needed him too. Needed him to show her there was no other, there was no competition for her place in his life and in his bed.

Castle pushed his pants down, grinning as Beckett's eyes darted down. She moaned appreciatively as he lay out over her, his lips finding her scar. Kate dug her fingers into his back as she drew him to her, wanting more. Castle nipped lightly at the skin protecting her collarbone, one of the many places that would earn him a loud groan, as he pressed his hips against hers. Beckett's fingers sought his, her arms moving across the bed unconsciously, linking their hands together as she tried to pull him into her with her legs and hips. He held himself still as he whispered

"The way you say I love you burns within me. No sweeter words have ever been spoken. I need to hear it all the time. It guides me, gives me strength. I draw so much from you, and your love."

"Rick please!"

Kate's small cry of frustration, her soft tone of begging, was his undoing. He finally slid into her, words completely inadequate to describe how amazing she felt. Kate wrapped her long legs around his lean hips as he brought his mouth to her, their twin contented sighs lost in each other as he filled her completely.

As he began to move slowly, he thought about the previous times they had made love. Kate had told him that she loved when she could feel his weight, when her smaller fame was encompassed by him. It made her feel safe, made her feel like she could count on him. He loved giving her that.

Her hands brought him back to her. Kate framed his face as she kissed him, moving her tongue lazily along the inside of his mouth, exploring him. His movements followed hers; long slow thrusts drew out their pleasure, in each other and the feel of being together. Kate moved with him, her body responding to his without hesitation. He pulled away from delicious lips to find her neck, words finding him. He no longer whispered as he prayed she would understand how much he needed her. He breathed the words into her skin, needing them to sink into her, be a part of her.

"This saves me, Kate. Being with you. Getting to feel you, touch you, and kiss you. Being inside you. Wanting you, needing you, loving you. You save me, Kate Beckett. Every day."

As the truth of his words rang out around them, Castle couldn't hold back. He quickened his strokes, watching the pleasure course across Kate's face. Castle pressed his forehead against hers, raining kisses on any exposed skin he could find.

"Kate I love you. I love you Kate."

He poured the words into her as he moved in her, savoring the deep guttural groan that that tumbled from Beckett as he filled her. Kate dug her nails into his back as the pleasure threatened to overtake her. She kissed him gently, tracing her fingers down his jaw before whispering,

"Let go with me Rick. Let's go together."

She rolled her hips against him, pulling him deeper inside her, as she gasped out against his throat. She bit at the tender flesh as she clenched around him, the force of her orgasm flooding her. His thrust became sloppy as he lost himself in her, groaning her name against her ear as he followed her over the edge.

Castle rolled them over as best he could, not wanting to crush her. He held her close as she collapsed on his chest, her lips gliding over his slick skin. Castle trailed his finger down her spine as he tried to catch his breath, still caught up in the feel of her and desire he felt coursing through his body.

As Beckett snuggled into him, her cherry scent from the shampoo she had used this morning still lingering on her, Castle took a relaxing breath. She was here, in his arms. They would be alright, just like they always were. She had fought past putting up a wall. She had shown him how far they had come.

Castle whispered her name softly, drawing her eyes to his. Her green eyes were bright, relief and love flooding her features. He kissed her gently before saying, his eyes holding hers

"Stay with me, Kate. Always."

Kate pressed her deliciously naked body against his, her utterance a soft rustle against his goose bumped flesh as she teased him with her words and breath

"Always."

He grinned devilishly at her as Beckett moved over him, kissing her way down his body as she asked seductively

"Think you're ready for round two? You did say a few hours…"

Castle chuckled out a breath as she kicked the covers off the bed, her eyes glinting in the soft glow of the lamp on the bedside table. He pressed his head into the pillow as she climbed over him, draping her legs across his thighs, sitting just far enough away from his aching flesh. Castle grinned up at her as she leaned over him, kissing him harshly. He felt the all too wonderfully familiar sensation of knowing Kate Beckett was about to have her way with him burn in his belly.

"I did, didn't I?"

Her tongue traced his lips, drawing a sharp intake of breath from Castle as she bit gently on his bottom lip. Kate's breath was still tinkling with laughter as she murmured

"I'm going to hold you do that."