Until the End Starts

by SeaEnchantress

"When you said goodbye you held be so tight I was left breathless but I only wanted you to hold me tighter. I let you go thinking you'd come back." Bella's journal entries looking back through the years. AH.

25. Remember

Fairy Tales

How is it that time creeps by so slowly and suddenly everything has gone by so quickly? When did I waste so much time waiting? Did I really waste so many birthday wishes on you, wishing to see you again?

Especially when I don't even believe in wishes? Maybe that was the problem.

But I keep thinking it's getting better now; I sometimes go weeks at a time without thinking of you. Inevitably something reminds me. A celebration, your name written somewhere, your song, a wink, a touch, a quiet night.

Sometimes late at night I wonder if you even think of me. Do you even remember me? You don't have all of these reminders around you like I do. You don't have to go back to our old high school every time your sister has a school event.

I still sometimes battle with wanting to let go and at the same time not wanting to forget.

But no one will ever live up to a memory. A hope, a dream. A wish. That's why I don't believe in them. Nothing can ever measure up to it. To you. It's not realistic. It's fiction, fantasy, a fairytale. You can't wait around for someone to rescue you. I know that now. I'm not going to wait around for my happily ever after; I'm going to make it happen for myself.