Chapter 25

'Shit! Double shit! Of course he's a wizard. I finally meet the man of my dreams and he's a friggin' wizard. This is just priceless,' Leah thought to herself.

"Maybe I should get us some more butterbeer," Tonks said when she noticed Leah struggling with her thoughts.

Remus winked at his wife. "Good idea."

Leah heard Remus and Minerva talking about where Severus might be as her mind raced with the implications of her realization.

When Tonks came back with the butterbeers, Leah's introduction to the world of magic began. They talked to her of the wizarding community, magic, Hogwarts, the Dark arts. Leah's head was starting to spin with all of the information and the fact that she, Leah Manning, was a witch! Well, she always wondered about her special gift. 'Be careful what you ask for,' she thought.

Staring across the bar, deep in thought, she heard a crisp pop and saw a man dressed in all black wearing a robe appear out of nowhere. Leah blinked a few times, marveling at this sight, and saw upon closer inspection that it was Severus. Her dark horse had just materialized out of thin air! Evidently, she was the only one who noticed as the conversation at her table continued without pause.

Leah thought of nothing but getting to him since she got off the plane, but now she was terrified, and it was crystal clear to her why he chose to run. She couldn't imagine having to tell someone like her that real magic existed…and that you were a wizard.

Panic descended, and overcome with everything that had happened over the past few days, Leah took the first option that came to mind – escape. She excused herself from her companions, supposedly to visit the ladies room.

Once on her feet, Leah abruptly changed course and ran for the front door, knocking over an empty chair along the way. She needed air desperately and made her way into the street, running at a full sprint down the block toward the church steeple she saw before.

When a chair hit the floor, Severus turned and noticed a head of long, curly, auburn hair running out the door. He dismissed the thought at once. Absolutely, positively not possible.

Walking to the back to enter Diagon Alley, he saw Remus, Minerva and Tonks getting up from a booth and making haste toward the front door. At once, Severus' worst nightmare was confirmed, and fear shot through him like a flaming arrow.

He stalked across the pub and glared at them. "I cannot believe you would meddle in my personal affairs! Thought you would play matchmaker, did you?" Severus hissed at them.

"Severus, how dare you accuse us of anything! If you had handled the situation properly, we wouldn't have had to intervene. Now, go after her!" Minerva demanded.

"She's just learned that she's a witch, Severus. She's scared and overwhelmed. Go to her. You at least owe her that." Remus' words were calm, but poignant.

"A witch? Leah is a witch?" Severus closed his eyes in agony for a moment before snapping to life again. "And, I suppose you fools just casually introduced all of this information to her! What did you expect her to do?" He growled in anger, glaring at them before running for the door.

Leah turned the corner several blocks ahead and Severus sprinted to catch up with her. He knew if he lost sight of her that he might not be able to find her amid London's many hiding places. Reaching the corner, he saw the door closing at the front of a large, gray church across the street.

Severus rushed through the doorway and found his Leah alone, seated in a front pew, crying into her hands.

She was crying so intently that she did not hear him approaching. Her cries fused together with his staccato steps into a perverse hymn that echoed off of the gray stone floor and walls of the church.

Leah felt a hand on her shoulder and looked up to see Severus, rosy-cheeked, catching his breath from chasing her. He opened the door to the pew and sat down next to her, taking one of her tear-soaked hands in both of his. Leah immediately attempted to straighten herself, embarrassed for him to see her in such a state.

"Severus, why didn't you just tell me? I know it wouldn't have been easy, but I would have listened. Don't you trust me? I think I have shown unrestrained trust in you," she said half in anger.

"Leah, there is more to this than magic. I would give anything if I could make that the worst of my secrets."

"Then, what? What is it? Tell me, Severus, I can take it. I can," Leah pleaded, her cheeks still wet with tears.

Severus knew that telling her was the only way to make sure she would let him go. He hated himself for the pain he knew it would cause her, but he knew it was the only way.

"Leah, I am many things, a wizard being the least of them. I am the Potions Master at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. I was a Death Eater. I was a double agent, a spy for the Order of the Phoenix. And I am a murderer many times over. Worst of all, the blood of my parents is on my hands."

Leah eyes bulged at him. "Are you telling me that you killed your parents?" She could not – would not – believe it.

"No…and yes. They were killed because of me, and I wear the stain of it just as if I had murdered them myself."

Leah listened in silence as the man she knew was the love of her life told her of his past. Severus spoke with a heavy heart and a heavier conscience, making no excuses when he told her of his actions and choices. He stated the facts as they were, plain and terrible, watching a confused and horrified expression twist her features.

"Do you see now why I left? Why I cannot let you lower yourself because of what I have done? I will not inflict the shame of my past upon you."

She had no real idea what a Death Eater was, but it didn't sound pleasant. And the fact that he had killed people, lots of them, shocked her to the core, not to mention that one of them was his mentor. She heard the mixture of admiration and remorse in his voice as Severus spoke of him. But, as she regarded her dark horse, his soul bare and bleeding before her, Leah realized that what he had done didn't matter to her nearly as much as it should have. He could have sprouted red horns and a pointy tail and it wouldn't have changed a thing. The Severus she knew was not that man.

"If you truly do not want to be with me, if your feelings for me are not as strong as I think they are, then that's one thing, but this crap about me lowering myself and deserving better is the biggest load of bullshit I have ever heard. It sounds like a cop out to me, because you cannot make peace with what you have done. I would not have wanted to hear it from anyone's lips but yours, but I don't see why it means that we can't be together. I made peace with it the moment you told me. Do you know why, Severus? Because I'm in love with you," Leah said in a surprisingly calm voice. Severus did not move a muscle; she didn't even think he was breathing. "Did you hear me? I love you." She took his face in her free hand and stared into his dark, enigmatic eyes. "Let me care for you."

Severus closed his eyes for a moment, and when he opened them to look at her, Leah felt a warm tear roll onto her hand.

Had she just accepted him despite his crimes? It couldn't be real – any minute he expected to wake up. But when he did not, Severus thought there was no worse punishment for his crimes than this, sitting with his Leah, hearing her say the words he had waited his whole life to hear and not being able to reciprocate.

"Leah, I cannot do this. My apologies," he said painfully, taking her hands and putting them in her lap. "Goodbye, angel."

Severus stood and gave her one last, long look before walking back down the aisle out of the church.

When Severus returned to The Leaky Cauldron, Minerva, Tonks and Remus were sitting in the same booth as earlier. They saw him approaching alone and did not regard him kindly.

"She is in the church around the corner. One of you will want to go and collect her before too long. Please make sure that she gets home safely," he said quietly. Minerva could have sworn that she saw a damp spot on his cheek as he turned to make his way back toward Diagon Alley.

"I'll go get her," Tonks said as she slowly got up from the booth. "It must be bad if he said please."

After a few minutes, Remus looked across the table at Minerva. "What are we going to do? We can't just send her home."

"We are not going to send her home, Remus. I am going to offer her a place at Hogwarts - as a student," Minerva said with a twinkle in her eye. "I think she'll make quite a successful witch."

"Can you do that? Isn't she a bit old?" Remus asked, politely perplexed.

"This may surprise you, but nowhere is it written that students must fall within any specific age ranges." Minerva gave Remus the look she was prepared to give anyone who would challenge her in this, and it was a humbling thing.

Remus cleared his throat. "Well, I see you still have it, Minerva, not that I ever doubted it." He chuckled as a smile spread across her face. "Perhaps Tonks and I can give her some helpful information about Severus…and advice on convincing a man who thinks himself unworthy?"

"Exactly. I'll exchange some money for her, and Tonks can take her shopping for her school things. She'll need to report to Hogwarts on Friday for the beginning of the term."

"I'm glad I'm not going to be there when Severus finds out," Remus said holding in his laugh.

Leah was sitting in the church, attempting to pull herself together, when she heard someone coming down the aisle toward her. She knew it wasn't Severus; the footsteps were not deliberate enough. She looked up through watery eyes to see Tonks opening the pew door to sit down.

"Everything will be alright. We'll fix it, Leah, you'll see."

"How? He told me about his past and the horrible things he'd done. I tried to accept him with open arms, but he pushed me away."

"I thought he might," Tonks said quietly. "Remus did the same thing to me when I first told him how I felt. Of course, I already knew he was a werewolf then, but he still pushed me away, giving me the same story you probably got about deserving better. Am I right?"

"Right again. I'm sorry, did you just say that Remus is a werewolf?" Leah asked as politely as possible when asking someone you're going to stay with if there will be a werewolf in the house.

"Yes, but no worries, it's under control. Besides, the full moon is not for a few more weeks," Tonks said with a wink.

"Super," Leah replied sarcastically, looking overwhelmed. "So, I'm guessing you have some advice for me on how to bring Severus around?"

Tonks nodded. "Come back to The Leaky Cauldron and we'll make some plans."

As they were standing in the church aisle, Leah turned to Tonks and threw her arms around her. "Thank you so much. I'm sorry I lost it earlier."

Tonks hugged her new friend back with equal intensity. "No problem. I think you were entitled to a breakdown."

Leah plunked herself down into the booth next to Minerva, unable to remember ever feeling as tired as she did at that moment.

After Leah told Minerva and Remus what happened, Minerva said, "We have a plan. We did not get this far in our discussion earlier, but I am the Headmistress of the best school of Witchcraft and Wizardry in the world, and I would love to have you as a student at Hogwarts if that would be of interest to you."

"Hogwarts? You're Severus' boss?!"

"Correct. Although you would not be the age of our typical student, our first years are almost always 11 years old."

"Oh, good, so I only overshot my landing by 19 years."

Remus smiled at her sarcasm, thinking how Severus must enjoy it.

"Leah, it is of no consequence. You know as much as they do when it comes to magic. We'll simply tell everyone that you are my long lost niece. If it would make you more comfortable, I would be glad to offer you accommodations separate from the other students, outside of the dormitory, but still within your house. There are advantages to being in charge."

"Accommodations? So, Hogwarts is a boarding school," Leah said, considering the offer. "I'll have to call home and make some arrangements, but yes, I accept your offer. I would be happy to stay in the dormitory with the other students if you think that would be appropriate. I don't need a separate house."

"No, no. By house, I mean your 'division'. On the first evening of term, all students are sorted into one of four houses, Gryffindor, Ravenclaw, Hufflepuff or Slytherin. All of the girls from each house stay in the same dormitory by year, just as the boys do." Minerva thought for a moment before continuing. "I think it would be best if you stayed in a separate room close to your house dormitory – 19 years makes a lot of difference. I take it you have already completed your Muggle schooling?"

"Yes, I have a Sociology degree. Although you probably have no idea what that means, do you?"

"Not particularly," said Minerva. "But what you will be learning at Hogwarts will be very different, I'm sure. If you're going to live near the dormitory with the other students, you'll have to abide by all of the same rules. And you could not, under any circumstances, reveal your relationship with Severus to any of the other students or professors."

"I figured that would be the deal, and that's perfectly acceptable to me. Thank you for taking me on, Headmistress."

"You're quite welcome," Minerva said with smile and a twinkle in her eye. "You will need to report to school on Friday. That will give you a couple of days to prepare. You'll be staying with Tonks and Remus until then, and they'll help you get everything you need for school. They both attended Hogwarts, so they can give you a great deal of helpful information."

Leah smiled brightly at the three of them as she could see the possibilities laid out before her; despite her setback in the church earlier, she was undeterred in her task. Even if Severus had refused her, she wanted to learn more about witchcraft. (Not to mention that being at Hogwarts would give her another crack at him.) Her apprehensiveness was wearing off and her curiosity was taking its place. Despite her current exhaustion, she was ready for an adventure. The sun would rise the next morning just as it always did, and Leah would accept its challenge, with or without Severus.

Soundtrack Entry #14 – Tangled – Maroon 5
Soundtrack Entry #15 – Fear – Sarah McLachlin

Author's Notes: First, I am so sorry for the delay in posting this chapter! I have tried every day for the past four days and the site would not let me load it. My sincere apologies. Barring any other problems, I am going to post three chapters this week to get caught up.

Second, do you remember my notes at the beginning of the story? I asked you to suspend your disbelief, and I hope that you will. Believe me, I know that Leah being a student is rather far fetched, and I hope I haven't already lost you, but please stick around. There's a lot more to come. :)

Third, this is part one of my thanks to Holly Ilex for allowing me to use her scenario of the fate of Severus' parents. Thanks, Holly!

Last, I extend a HUGE thank you to all of my readers and reviewers! You're the icing on my cupcake!