NOTE I: In my version of the DA:I Winter Palace ball, no one is wearing those ridiculous oufits they wear in game. If I don't describe everyone individually, think of them either wearing some appropriate in a ball gown, or a less armored, fancier version of their regular gear. The Inquisitor, I think, would be wearing something completely dashing, but not necessarily Orlesian. Probably something Ferelden (given that she's a Trevelyan). And Solas is NOT WEARING THE HAT. Omgwtfbbq. Everyone is probably wearing the same colors, at least. ((I'm picking black and silver)). So. That's how it's gonna be. Yeah. :D

Note II: Regarding Vivienne as a villain - she's a villain where Melori's concerned, not necessarily evil! Her goals are diametrically opposed to Melori's in several ways, so they're natural opponents. Believe me, I like Vivienne in game! But Vivienne has the power to really mess up Melori's life if she decided to do so. Honestly, I'm the biggest villain in Melori's life *Evil Grin* ALL THE POWAH! muahahahah!

.


.

""Sometimes you grow to love the shadow that follows."
~
Donna Lynn Hope
.


.

Black with silver embroidery, the Inquisition insignia embroidered on the sleeves in a running pattern, a flowing skirt beneath a velvet tunic, and a laced corset over all. Not as stiff as the court attire of the Orlesians, but elegant in its own way, dark and rich. It clearly stated that she belonged the Inquisition, Melori thought, looking down at herself as Leliana adjusted a few things here and there.

"Why am I wearing this?" She asked tentatively. "I thought I was going to be in the servants quarters all night."

"For the most part, you will be," The spymaster smiled. "But we do not want you to be mistaken for one of Celene's or another lords. We will tell them you are our attendant, and that should give you access to the ballroom as well. While this looks fine to you, the Orlesians will see only the dark colors, modest fabrics, and simple design and understand your position is minor."

"I see," Melori nodded, fingering the mask she'd been given, as well. It was silver and in the shape of a cat, the swept back sides arching delicately. "And this?"

"If you wish to wear it, I thought it would suit you," Leliana nodded, stepping back and looking the elf over. "People tend to forget you have claws."

The entire outfit was better than any of her robes and vastly prettier, Melori thought, though she wasn't certain how it would do in a fight. She could breathe well enough, and she could feel hidden metal in the sleeves and bodice - armored pieces that could withstand possible attack, at least briefly. She'd already found pockets and there were small spaces hidden in the bodice to hide smaller things. All in all, it was a useful costume for a night spent snooping while everyone danced.

"Your hair is nearly as red as mine," Leliana smiled. "You should braid it up a little."

"I'll do that." Melori turned and spun a little in the clothes, thinking about the dance Solas had taught her and moving in the steps. "It's easy to move as long as the skirts don't get in the way."

"Tear them if you must. You may be the only eyes we have in certain areas during the dancing."

"Of course," Melori nodded, starting to undo the laces. "We're going to Duke Gaspard's estate and then onto the Palace?"

"Yes, though it will be a long ride to get there." Leliana reached out to help her, tutting a bit. "Like anything useful, you will require aid getting dressed."

"Some attendant I'll be, if I need an attendant to dress myself," Melori laughed.


They were to leave the next morning, which meant the entire castle was buzzing as people ran to and fro. It wasn't excitement, exactly, but more of a slowly rising tension. For those aware of the situation, this was a rescue attempt that had so much riding on it, they could not help but be grim-faced and stern. Cullen and Cassandra worked together to assemble a likely group of soldiers to take with them while Leliana prepared her spies, such as Melori, to infiltrate the servants and other areas. Rumor had it Josephine hadn't left her office for nearly two days.

The Inquisitor, on the other hand, was everywhere. Every time Melori turned around, the human woman was questioning someone, inspecting something, or asking for something else. When she appeared in the Study shortly after lunch, Melori was almost waiting for her.

"Enara! There you are! Leliana said you had the documents on Gaspard's movements for the last month with you?"

"Ahhh, Let me see ..." Melori had been half asleep and had to think about where the damn things were for a moment. "Oh! Here they are," She said, handing them over.

"I know I haven't had a chance to speak with you since you returned," The Inquisitor said. "But I wanted you to know, we're all glad you've come back to us."

"Oh, well," Melori flushed and smiled. "Thank you. I'm sorry I ..."

"No," the Inquisitor held out her hand, "Cassandra said you'd do this, and I won't allow it. What happened ... happened. You did nothing wrong. We have precious few agents who manage to survive as it is. Bad enough that I have to send all you into danger yet again."

"It's not as though you do not go with us," Melori said, looking up to meet those steady blue eyes. "You've given us something to fight for, my Lady, and a place to come home to when it's done."

"I didn't do it alone," The Inquisitor winked at her. "Are you ready for the ball?"

"Yes, though I don't have to be out in the public eye, thankfully," Melori smiled back. "Do you mind it? Being on display, I mean."

"I wouldn't wish to do it all the time, of course, but I cannot say I do not enjoy the thrill now and then." The blue eyes sparkled and Melori was treated to a mischievous grin. "Perhaps we'll hold a ball here when it's all done?"

"That could be fun, though now I'm trying to picture Bull dancing, and it doesn't work!"

"Now that we've imagined it, it must happen!" The Inquisitor laughed as she walked away. "I'll mention it to Josie tonight!"


Dinnertime in the keep was a quiet affair that evening. Melori had grabbed hers earlier with Hugh, eating in the garden and listening to Mother Giselle tell a story about her youth in the Chantry. It was a peaceful respite from the day, but when it was done they would have to part yet again. Hugh was unhappy that she would be going without him into the Winter Palace, though he admitted it would be awkward for a Templar to be seen hovering over an elven attendant.

"Otherwise, I would be there," he assured her as they walked through the garden.

"I know," she said, leaning up to kiss him. "We'll be back together soon enough. It's only the one night."

"That's all it takes," Hugh replied, pulling her closer. "And you've not been sleeping ..."

"Neither have you, but we manage where we must." She leaned her head against his chest for a while until the hour was called. He kissed her again, then left to join his men in the valley. Melori sighed and ducked back inside the castle, crossing the Great Hall and heading into the Atrium. She paused at the entry, eyes narrowed at the sight of Solas in deep conversation with a young man in a ridiculously large hat. Something about the hat tickled her mind, but she couldn't quite put her finger on it. She was about to go round the other way, but Solas saw her and smiled.

"I should introduce you," he said. "Cole is a spirit who has taken on a rather unique form in our realm."

"A spirit?" Melori found her brow lifting, but she smiled tentatively as she approached. "You seem ... familiar to me, somehow."

"I tried to help you," Cole said. "It didn't work, so I made you forget."

"You what?" Both her brows lifted and she took a step back.

"They captured you in the desert. He was in your head, forcing the words out of your mouth. You tasted blood and he laughed. He praised you, petted you when you were broken. You didn't want to. You tried not..."

"Please. Stop." Melori's hands were in fists, her face as white as a sheet. She avoided Solas' eyes, staring instead at the spirit - at Cole. She backed up further, bumping against the desk chair and knocking it over.

"I'm sorry ... I thought, if Solas knew, he would know how to help you."

She shut her eyes and took a breath, felt a hand on her arm. "Ma'falon?"

"I do not wish to remember those things." Little flicks of energy where popping off her skin.

"But you never forget them," He answered, stepping closer. "They are always there, in the back of your mind. You can't sleep. I know I shouldn't have given you the draught. Solas said I shouldn't. But you needed to sleep."

"Cole," Solas interrupted gently, stepping between them, blocking her view of the spirit. "I will help her."

"Should I make her forget me? Will that help?" Cole asked, the earnestness in his voice almost painful to hear. Melori crossed her arms and tried to think of anything else. The walls seemed to be closing in on her, the air too heavy, her heart pounding in her chest.

"Go see if the Inquisitor needs your help, Cole," Solas suggested. "Or someone else in the castle. I'm sure you can find someone to help."

"I'll do that," Cole said ... and then he was gone.

"What he said …" Melori began.

"It is what he feels and sees - your memories and, perhaps, events surrounding you," Solas answered, having moved to his desk, studiously not looking toward her, his movements quiet and careful as he straightened the chair, setting it upright.

"Wonderful," she exhaled, closing her eyes. "I imagine he does that to everyone?"

"He overset Dorian so badly the man nearly wept," Solas answered. "Cole is a spirit of compassion. His only desire is to help and bring comfort. He saved the Inquisitor's life from the envy demon at Therinfal Redoubt, and appeared in Haven soon after. I'm surprised you hadn't seen him before now."

"I would have remembered that hat." She sighed and her shoulders slumped. "I should not have responded like that to … to what Cole said."

"I hardly think you could have prevented it." He looked over at her then, sighed and stepped closer. "You are incredibly stubborn, ma'Falon. But this may not be the proper cause."

"Perhaps not, but it shames me. It frightens me. Since we came to Skyhold, everything's become complicated," she said, twisting her hands in her tunic, tears sparking at her eyes. "I miss Caro and wandering through the snow in Haven. If she'd been there, she would have stopped me using that artifact."

Solas crooked a finger under chin, then, lifting her face up so he could see her eyes. "We cannot always know the consequences of our actions when we are presented with an ... unfortunate choice." His lips twisted a little and he stepped away. "When you are ready, perhaps you should speak to Dorian about what happened."

"He would be horrified."

"He might understand the magic used," Solas said. "And it would be good for him to help someone else."

Melori wiped her eyes on her sleeve, still feeling foolish and embarrassed. "I'm going to go now. I don't even remember what I came in here to do."


Commander Cullen had a very straight back while sitting on his horse. He also had a habit of singing while he rode, humming to himself in a slightly out of tune cadence that never seemed to resolve itself into a particular song. Melori had ended up behind him on the trail while she rode alongside Leliana, who had begun the journey by giving her instructions, but had wandered off somewhere along the way. His horse, a tall bay a white stripe across its face, was somehow bigger than Tempest, though not nearly so much trouble, and it was all Melori could do to keep her horse from crowding his when she wasn't paying attention - which was often because she kept dozing off.

"Enara," he said after the second hour. "Enara?"

She blinked for a moment, looking around in confusion before she realized they had somehow ended up alongside the road rather than on it. "Um ..."

"Do you never sleep?" He asked, as they rejoined the line.

"Not recently," she admitted. "It's less fun to fall asleep than it used to be, and I really haven't slept well in ... ten years? Since the Circle Tower, really."

"Nightmares?"

"Every night. Worse lately, but ... never good," she shifted in the saddle. "Do Templars have bad dreams?"

"Every night," he said, echoing her. "How old were you when the Circle was overrun?"

"Fifteen," she shifted in the saddle, stretching a little - and making sure Vivienne was far enough away that she wouldn't overhear. Everyone nearby already knew she was a mage at this point, but she wasn't inclined to admit it to Madame de Fer, accidentally or not. "I hadn't been harrowed yet."

"Did ... was I at your harrowing?" He asked, brow furrowed.

"You were still at the Circle," Melori answered, frowning in thought. "Mine was one of the first harrowings after the clean-up, so I imagine you were. It was very confusing, though ... I woke up to a lot of people shouting."

"Ah," he flushed a little, looking away. "I probably was, then."

"Well, my Harrowing was just odd. I was in the Fade in the dream, but I didn't see anything for a long time, and when I finally did, it was just a spirit, as Solas would call it, not a demon at all. He counseled me to strive for wisdom and then I woke up with a Templar blade at my throat, and the Grand Enchanter was arguing with Knight Commander Greagoir. I don't remember why."

"Probably because every Templar in the Tower saw every mage as a potential abomination," Cullen admitted, shaking his head. "No wonder you decided to hide."

"It wasn't just the Templars," Melori said, pausing while Tempest broke into one of his restless sideways hops. "If I'd stayed with things the way they were, I'd never have gotten out of the Tower. Leaving meant seeing what lay outside - though I ended up spending several years in the Temple of Andraste, carting books around for Brother Genitivi. It was worth it. You had far more reason to have nightmares, especially after Kirkwall."

"I'm rather amazed I didn't remember you because of all that hair," he chuckled. "It's very bright."

"I'm going to have to find a way to turn it brown," she laughed. "No one ever remarks on anything else."


Duke Gaspard's estate was elegant and well-appointed, and it easily accommodated their entire party, which included the Inquisitor, her advisers, companions, and the various agents who had come along. Baths were provided and everyone changed into their finery for the Ball. Melori had to ask for assistance from one of the other women in order to be laced into her clothing, but soon she was dressed and gathered with the others in the foyer, waiting for the carriages to take them to the Winter Palace.

The carriages were bumpy, rattling things, despite their fine appointments, and it was with relief that they soon joined the others and filtered into the impossibly elegant Winter Palace in Halamshiral. Melori entered through a side door, as she was not one of the guests, and spoke with some of the palace servants to find out where the attendants should go. There was a room somewhere off the main hall near the powder room from which she could attend to her ladies without becoming too great a bother.

The room was full of other attendants, gossiping as heavily as the nobles beyond. The Game, Melori thought, was as rich among the lesser classes as it was among the nobility, and she was rather glad she was wearing a mask. She listened where she could, but heard nothing but a few scandals here and there, which she noted for Leliana before finding her way back into the fine halls with a 'message' for her lady. Under that pretense, she found it quite easy to slip among the different rooms, barely regarded by the humans there - she was just another servant, after all.

She found Solas standing in one of the galleries, listening to the conversations flowing around with an amused expression. He was dressed in black and silver, like the rest of the party. A long coat and trousers in the elvish fashion that Melori thought made him look younger and, strangely, a little threatening. He saw her approaching and smiled, "That outfit rather suits you."

"I like it, as well, "She answered, giving a little twirl to show off the skirts. "It's less rigid than what's popular these days, which makes it easier to move. You seem to be enjoying yourself."

"I do adore the heady blend of power, intrigue, danger, and sex that permeates these events*," he answered, his lips curving. "It is exactly as I showed you the other evening. Nothing truly changes, particularly among the powerful."

"I saw blood on the floor in one of the other rooms," she said quietly. "And I heard them speaking of it, but no one really seems to care."

"Be careful, ma falon," he cautioned. "The danger here is tangible."

"I'll try," she promised. "But I should not linger. Leliana asked me to go to the servant's hall and see what I can find."

"I will watch for you to return," he replied. "If you are not back in due time, I will alert the Inquisitor."

"Thank you," she smiled before heading back the way she had come, ducking down a set of stairs and to a door set in the wall. She opened the door and stepped into a half-lit room, "Here I go."

.


* From the game, partially paraphrased on the 2nd sentence.

Note III: This undoubtedly needs more editing, but I'm tired. I'll be embarrassed in the morning, my dears.