Thunderstruck would be an understatement; Pete was way beyond that. For his entire life his parents, along with a few relatives, had enveloped his identity in a lie. He had spent his childhood envying friends who had brothers and sisters. In a neighborhood filled with large families, Pete was the odd man out. Part of him now understood, but a larger side of him didn't. How many years had his letters to Santa included a request for a brother? He remembered that one item was on every birthday list; why hadn't they told him once he was old enough to understand? Was avoiding the issue worth the pain that his very vocal desires for a sibling must have caused his parents? (Somewhere along the way, Pete had even begged for, horrors, a sister.) He still had a lot of questions, but they had taken a back seat to the grief he began to feel for a sister he never knew; for Colleen.
Pete didn't bother to open his eyes when he heard the door open. It had to be either a nurse or one of his doctors or whatever officer it was guarding his door would have asked him if he wanted the visitor. The nurse was fiddling with his IV fluids and humming something that might have been a Beatles song but she was definitely tone-deaf. After two minutes of listening to what seemed to match the beat of "Eleanor Rigby", Pete opened his eyes and said hello. He wasn't in the mood to talk, but there was only so much musical torture Pete could take.
"I'm sorry; I didn't mean to wake you." The nurse, Carly, if he remembered right, had finished hanging a new saline solution and was working on hanging another dose of antibiotic.
"I wasn't asleep. Mostly, I'm tired of looking at the same wall. Couldn't they find a better color to paint it than puke green?" Pete smiled up at her; he had lot of practice hiding his emotions when he wanted to. The last thing he needed was for this nurse to tell the doctor that he seemed upset about something.
"They do that on purpose; it makes people want to get better faster." She did have a nice smile. It would be so easy to get into flirting mode with her, but he knew better than to encourage her.
"If I tell you that it makes me feel better, can I leave?" Pete grabbed the bed railing, as if he was going to pull himself up and try to get out of bed. He hadn't expected that small bit of movement to cause so much pain; a fact that the nurse noticed.
"I think you need to stay here a little longer. At least until you can move without wincing." Carly, took a syringe out of her pocket and began to inject his pain medication. "Doctor Franks said that you can have a sleeping pill. Would you like me to get you one? It'll stop you from watching the wall."
"Ah, no thanks. I'm beginning to like that color; it grows on a person." He visibly relaxed as he felt the warmth of the drug flowing through his veins.
xxxxx
"I hear you refused to take a sleeping pill. Not that I'm complaining; I prefer you…" Sally let her words trail off when she got a good look at Pete before he shifted his expression to a smile. "What's wrong? Are you in pain?"
"Is it possible to grieve for someone you never knew existed?" Pete was tapping the bed rail with his right hand; a sign that Jim had warned Sally about.
"Who are you talking about?" Sally made her way to his bedside, taking his right hand in hers. She wasn't the only one who knew that Pete was still riding an emotional roller-coaster.
"Her name was Colleen. She was my older sister." Pete let go of Sally's hand and held out his arm to her; wanting so bad to feel the closeness he had become used to. As Sally made quick work of getting rid of the bedrail, Pete started at the beginning; telling her about throwing his mother out of his room. He followed that up with what his father had told him about his sister and the other would-be siblings. Sally didn't say anything; knowing that Pete didn't want comforting words. Instead she climbed into the bed, nestling close to him. The fact that he was so un-guarded around her made her truly understand the depth of the love he had for her.
"I'm sorry." Sally lay with her head on his good shoulder; right arm across his chest. There didn't seem to be anything else to say. This information went quite a ways towards explaining Mrs. Malloy's behavior, but as far as Sally was concerned, it was no excuse. Neither of them spoke for a while; Sally letting Pete grieve in silence. He smiled as Sally started to softly snore; it sounded like a kitten's purr.
xxxxx
A knock on the door was followed by the head of Officer Doug Grant; guarding Pete's door was preferable to riding his motorcycle in the pouring rain. He apologized profusely for disturbing the couple cuddling in the hospital bed before telling Sally that she had an important phone call. The smile she gave Pete when she returned didn't seem to jive with her assertion that the call was about work; who smiles at a 2 am phone call from work?
Thirty minutes later, Pete was still trying to get a straight answer out of Sally when the door to his hospital room opened again. There was a moment of confusion when he didn't see anyone coming in, then he heard the sweetest sound…
"Uncle Pete! It's Uncle Pete!" Jimmy continued to shout, despite his father's attempts to shush him. That adorable voice was accompanied by the sound of running feet. Sally barely got off the chair by Pete's bed as the child jumped up on it.
"Come here Sport." Jim tried to restrain his son but Pete reached over with his good hand, pulled his Godson onto the bed and into a bear hug. Seeing Jimmy did more to brighten Pete's spirits than anything else had. The boy wrapped his arms around Pete's neck; holding on as if he was afraid his beloved Godfather would disappear on him. There were tears in Pete's eyes when he gave Jim a questioning glance. Why the late-night visit?
"After your parents packed up their things and moved to a hotel, we couldn't get Jimmy to stop crying. He was afraid that they left because you were…." Jim didn't want to voice his son's fears; to spare Pete from hearing the details.
"I've missed you kiddo." Pete spared a second to nod once at Jim before returning his attention to Jimmy. Questions about his parent's whereabouts could wait. Pete was holding on as tight to Jimmy as the child was holding onto him.
"Missed you, Uncle Pete." Jimmy's crying was tearing at Pete conscience; he couldn't help but wonder if less people would have been hurt if he had gone to Tony's parole hearing. He didn't try to wipe his own tears; preferring Jimmy to know how much he was missed. Pete gave the boy a kiss on the cheek. "Don't cry Jimmy. I promise you, I'm not going away."
Jimmy sniffed, wiping his eyes with the back of his hand and his nose on the shoulder of Pete's hospital gown. There was exactly one child on earth that could get away with tainting Pete's gown with snot. When Pete accepted the offer to become Jimmy's Godfather, he knew it was an honor, but he had no idea how much he would grow to love the boy. In his experience with Godfathers, including his own, they tended to disappear after a while. He couldn't even remember the name of his Godfather. Jim and Sally quietly excused themselves.
Jimmy, still using his left arm to hold tightly to Pete, leaned his head back; giving Jimmy a better view of his Godfather. His touch was surprisingly tender as he put his right hand on Pete's shoulder. "You gots a boo-boo Uncle Pete? Do it hurt?"
Today was not the day to start lying to the child. Like his father, Jimmy had eyes the color of cornflowers. Pete would have to tread a thin line to quell the worry he saw in those eyes while still telling him the truth.
"It hurts some, but they give me medicine to make it not hurt too much." Pete drew Jimmy's attention to the IV line stuck in his right forearm. "That doesn't hurt at all, but you have a boo-boo too. How did you hurt your chin?"
"Playing tag wit you Daddy." The child seemed to hesitate to answer the question; something was bothering Jimmy. "He go'd away. Why?"
"Because the cows, the pig and the chickens need him." Pete chuckled, seeing the astonishment in Jimmy's eyes. They must not have told Jimmy that his parents lived on a farm. "My daddy is a farmer. I lived on the farm when I was your age."
"Uncle Pete, you no a farmer." The look he gave Pete made it seem like Jimmy was looking for changes in his Godfather; had he become a farmer? "You a policeman like Daddy."
"I helped my daddy take care of the farm, before I became a policeman." This information seemed to excite Jimmy, so Pete added to it by saying that it was his job to milk the cows and chase the chickens that got loose. He even promised to show Jimmy how to milk a cow once he was released. Anyone familiar with small children knows that they don't stay still long,but a few uncomfortable nudges were not enough to make Pete call for Jim to take his son.
The mood in the room took a turn downward when nurse Carly returned to his room. Sally must have alerted her to the boy's presence because she smiled at him and didn't ask questions. It was time for Pete's next dose of morphine. He tried to distract Jimmy, but the child watched her every move. Once she left, Jimmy turned back to meet Pete's eyes; waiting for an explanation.
"She gave me medicine to make it not hurt, like your mommy does when you have pain." Pete again weighed his answers; the last thing he wanted was to bring up Tony Johnson.
"Cuz the bad man hurt you, Uncle Pete?" Jimmy was gently touching Pete's shoulder. At least he wasn't asking if Tony did more than hurt his Godfather's shoulder.
"You remember the bad man? Did he hurt you too?" Pete already knew that Jimmy remembered some things and he hated asking about the incident, but he needed to know from Jimmy, not the others.
"I scared o' the bad man." Jimmy buried his head in Pete's shoulder. Instantly, Pete tightened his grip on the boy, even using his left hand.
"I'm sorry he scared you." There was so much more Pete would have told Jimmy if he was older; including how guilty he felt for what Tony did, but you don't say those things to a four-year-old. It was his job to make the fear go away. "I promise you Jimmy. He will never come near you again."
"He no gonna hurt you again?" Pete smiled; sometimes Jimmy was so much like his father. Did being a mother hen run in families?
"He went away and he's not coming back." He didn't think Jim had told the boy that Tony was dead. Even if he did, Pete wasn't about to bring up the subject of death; he didn't want Jimmy to ask how Tony died.
"Pudding!" Now that he wasn't worried about Pete anymore, Jimmy lunged at a dish of pudding that was left over from dinner. The tray table was on the left side of the bed; meaning that the boy jammed a knee into Pete's stomach while trying for the pudding. Jim must have been standing right outside the door talking to Grant because he came in when Jimmy yelled. He raced to the bed, pulling the boy off his partner.
"Are you okay?" Jimmy was bent over Jim's forearm, still trying to get at the pudding. Pete was holding his stomach, gasping for breath, but he nodded that he was okay. Jim shook his head, refraining from calling Pete a liar. "Say goodbye to Uncle Pete." He was already carrying his son towards the door when Jimmy yelled goodbye.