The Journal of a Perverted Chibi Raven
Summary: One possessive and perverted chibi raven decided to write his daily adventures in a journal about his chosen, sweet, hyper, adorable, innocent, oblivious yet feisty chibi blonde bride.
Warning/s: OOCness, ultra perverted Sasu-chibi. SHOTAness! and lame attempt at humor… -.-
Disclaimer: I own nothing but my ideas for this fic… -.-
"talking"
The Golden Question
It is a beautiful Saturday morning; a perfect day to play under the sun, go out on a picnic or just walk at the park eating ice cream to enjoy the day.
Karin is currently shopping with her mother who takes a week off from work at Paris to visit her in Konoha. Along with Karin and her mom are Konan, Tenten and Hinata.
Sakura and Ino are helping Ino's mom with their flower shop.
Gaara, Temari, Kankuro and Sasori are having a picnic with their relatives, Deidara is also with them.
Shikamaru, Chouji, Shino, Neji and Kiba are at the zoo with Shikamaru's father.
Sai and his brother are at an Art Museum with their grandfather, Principal Danzo.
Suigetsu, Juugo, Kisame, Hidan, Kakuzu and Zetsu are at an Amusement Park with Kisame's parents.
Itachi is at their garden, reading a book. His friend, Nagato, is currently playing shogi with his uncle Madara at the living room, his uncle Kakashi is also there reading his ever present orange book.
Sasuke is also at the garden, a little far from his brother playing with Kurama.
It is indeed a nice day to be doing something fun…
…except for our favorite little blonde.
Naruto closes the door to their library with a frown on his adorable face.
"I don't understand… I don't understand anything at all…" he tells himself, his confusion visible. With a pout, he walks away from their library and down to the living room where his dearest daddy is waiting for him.
Today, Naruto is going to visit his grandma Tsunade after his checkup.
.. S x N ..
At the lobby of the Konoha Medical Hospital, Naruto looks around hoping to find either his Kabu-nii or Shizu-nee. Minato looks down at his son and smile "Looking for your Kabu-nii and Shizu-nee?" he asks.
Naruto looks up at him and grin, scratching the back of his head with his other hand that is not holding on to his father. Minato grins before they walk towards the stairs and up to the second floor, as they walk down the corridor Naruto spots Kabuto and Orochimaru talking on the hallway.
Naruto opens his mouth to call them but remembering that they are in the hospital he closes it and covers his mouth, looking up at his father with a slightly embarrass face. Minato chuckles softly before patting his son's head with his free hand.
As if sensing them, Orochimaru and Kabuto looks at them and the latter immediately walk towards them with a smile. Kabuto greets Minato with a polite bow which Minato return, after that, Kabuto grins at Naruto before taking his hand. While Minato walk towards Orochimaru to greet him.
"Good morning, Naruto-kun. How are you?" asks Kabuto.
Naruto grins "I'm fine, Kabu-nii. What about you?"
Kabuto ruffles his hair "I'm doing good! By the way, I'll be visiting you tomorrow, would you like me to bring you, Sasuke-kun and Kurama anything?"
Naruto think for a moment before grinning widely at Kabuto "Doughnuts!"
"Alright, I'll bring two dozens of doughnuts!"
Naruto gasps before hugging Kabuto "Thank you, Kabu-nii! In return, I'll bake cookies for you!"
Kabuto chuckles "Thank you, you're cookies are the best"
"By the way, Kabu-nii…"
Kabuto tilts his head "Hmm?"
"Where is Shizu-nee? Is she busy?" asks Naruto.
"She's checking up on patients, but I'll take you with her after your checkup" answers Kabuto.
Naruto beams "Okay" Naruto then looks at his father to see him still talking with Orochimaru, he then looks back on Kabuto and remember something. Tilting his head, he wonders if he could ask his Kabu-nii before coming to a conclusion that Kabu-nii knows a lot of things and he will get his answer.
Kabuto blinks, wondering what Naruto is thinking before the little blonde asks a question that he never once imagine would be ask to him by a seven year old.
"Kabu-nii, what is ana… um, anal sex? What does it mean?" is the not innocent question from an innocently asking Naruto.
Inwardly panicking, Kabuto looks at Minato and Orochimaru to find them still talking; Minato would be furious and Orochimaru would definitely use whoever teach Naruto such words as a human guinea pig. Adjusting his glasses, Kabuto looks back at Naruto "Naru… listen to me, you should…" he is interrupted by Minato's voice calling out for Naruto.
Naruto walk towards his father and Kabuto gulps "Oh no, this is so not good" he thinks. He waves at Naruto with an almost pained smile as Naruto along with Minato walks inside Orochimaru's clinic for Naruto's checkup.
"Please don't ask anything like that to them" Kabuto whispers.
.. S x N ..
Aside from being an Anatomy and Chemistry professor at the Konoha Academy, Orochimaru is also a Doctor, graduating College with a degree on Medicine alongside Tsunade; but decides to teach as a professor at their humble academy. However, due to Tsunade's request, he would work at the hospital as a Pediatrician every weekend. He didn't complain, he is more than glad to serve the hospital and use his skills as a doctor. Call him a workaholic, but aside from being a professor and a doctor, he doesn't have anything else to do.
Despite what outsiders think, Orochimaru is gentle with children, he is fond with them. Remembering about that precious thing he once have, he uses all his knowledge to make sure that each and every children that will be in his care will be in good health and safe. That is why he is one of the hospital's most treasured doctor. He even let his poor patients to be free of charge; something that he, Tsunade and the other doctors at the hospital agrees to. It is a known fact throughout the humble city of Konoha that the poor citizens can still be treated and nurse to good health without paying even a cent at the Konoha Medical Hospital.
So here Orochimaru is, in his clinic with one of his regulars. Aside from Tsunade, Orochimaru is also Naruto's personal doctor. Being prone to sickness back when he is still an infant, Naruto never fails to have his health check by either Tsunade or Orochimaru.
Orochimaru smile after taking off his stethoscope "There is nothing to worry, you're in good shape. Do you still take your vitamins regularly?"
Naruto nods "Yes! And I also drink lots of milk! Last night, I also eat lots of vegetables!"
Orochimaru chuckles, petting the golden head he says "Very good, Naruto-kun. Keep that up and you'll grow up healthy and strong"
Just then, Minato's phone rings, he takes it out and excuse himself. As the door shuts close, Naruto remembers something "Ah, sensei, what is anal sex?"
Orochimaru, ever so slowly, places his stethoscope down on his desk before facing Naruto. He blinks, then blinks some more as if telling himself that he might be imagining things.
"I'm sorry, Naruto-kun, I don't think I heard you right"
Naruto tilts his head "I asked what anal sex is?"
A painful silence envelopes Orochimaru's clinic until Minato opens the door "Naruto, let's drop by your grandma first. Mommy calls, she said we need to drop by to the market on the way home"
"Okay" Naruto then stands up and walk towards his father.
"Sensei, we'll be going now" says Minato.
Orochimaru who is still too shock could only say "Take care on your way" before looking down on his slightly shaking hands.
Minato bows before closing the door and they make their way to Tsunade's office.
Orochimaru's mouth twitches and slowly, a dangerous aura surrounds him.
Kabuto slowly opens the door of Orochimaru's clinic and peek in, he don't need to ask what happen upon seeing and feeling the dark aura slowly covering his mentor. Closing the door, he leans on the wall and groans.
.. S x N ..
Shizune laughs as Naruto happily illustrates his stories, Tsunade shakes her head in amusement as she watch from her desk.
"Time sure flies by, isn't it, Minato?" Tsunade asks "Before, Naruto was a sickly infant, and now he's growing up healthy and strong"
Minato smiles "Hm, I remember how Kushina and I would panic whenever he gets sick, until he turns five he could barely run or walk for too long, always getting tired so easily. But now he's like a bouncing ball of endless energy. I could barely catch him whenever we play tag" says Minato with a chuckle.
"Your son is also doing his best to be healthy and strong" Tsunade says with a fond smile.
After a few minutes, Minato stands up "Well, we should be going now" he says.
Tsunade nods "Kushina wants the two of you to drop by on the market, right? Go ahead, and be careful on your way"
"Yes, auntie. Naruto, let's go" suddenly, Minato's phone rings again. He takes it out and sees that it is Headmaster Sarutobi calling him. "It's the Headmaster, wait a moment, Naru" says Minato to his son before excusing himself and walking out of the room.
"Daddy is really busy these past few days" says Naruto as he stares at the door before looking at his grandmother.
"I believe they are making an early preparation for the orphans of the House of the Children of Mother Mary. They will be attending your school next month right?"
Naruto nods his head "They will, I wonder if I will have new friends…"
Shizune smile "I'm sure you will"
Naruto grins at that. "By the way, baa-chan, grandpa says he'll be here later"
Tsunade snorts "I'll kick him out then" she mumbles causing Naruto to giggle.
Naruto then stares at Shizune before staring at Tsunade, and then, just like what he did with Kabuto and Orochimaru, ask the Golden Question of the day.
"What is anal sex?"
Tsunade and Shizune's eyes widen as a deafening silence erupts in the room. Shizune composes herself and bites her lower lip as she look at her boss and mentor, Tsunade's face turns into a blank one.
"Hahaha… Naruto-kun…" Shizune starts awkwardly but the opening of the door interrupts her.
Minato, oblivious to the whole thing, smiles down at his son. "Let's go" says Minato as he offers his hand to Naruto, the little blonde takes it eagerly, not realizing what kind of chaos he's going to leave in his wake.
"Well then, auntie, we'll be going. Thank you for today" says Minato before bowing.
"Bye, baa-chan! Bye, Shizu-nee!" says a cheerful blonde with a wave.
Shizune wave goodbye in return, her mouth twitching from the force of her smile while Tsunade could nod dumbfounded.
Once the door is close, Shizune looks at her boss slash mentor and gulp "Um… Tsu-Tsunade-sama…" she whispers.
.. S x N ..
*Time skip*
Afternoon at the Namikaze household, Naruto is currently on the living with Kurama, Iruka, Kakashi and Yamato. Sasuke is currently doing some chores so Naruto is busying himself playing with Kurama, his Yama-nii and Kashi-nii and Iruka-sensei.
As the minutes fly by, Naruto realizes that he still didn't have answers to his question. With the three adults with him, Naruto knows that at least one of them will have an answer. So without further ado, he asks "Yama-nii, Kashi-nii, 'Ruka-sensei, what is anal sex?" accompany by a tilt of his head and an innocent big blue eyes.
Yamato's jaw drops, Kakashi's eyes widens as he drops the ball they are playing with Kurama, Iruka's face is bright red as he sputters for a minute before squeaking and fainting.
"What?" Yamato asks in a small voice.
"Anal sex, what is it?" the little blonde asks in return.
Before Yamato could even ask the blonde where he learns those two golden words, Kushina's voice calling for Naruto interrupts him.
Naruto hurries to his mother with Kurama in tow, leaving behind a gaping Yamato, a panicking Kakashi and an unconscious Iruka.
"I didn't do anything…" Kakashi mumbles "Oh my gosh, Itachi is going to kill me! But I did nothing!"
Yamato looks at him "Senpai… what are you saying? What have you… been doing?"
"I DID NOTHING! IT WASN'T ME! I'M INNOCENT!"
.. S x N ..
At the kitchen, Kushina giggles as she looks down at her beaming son and a wagging-his-tail-in-excitement Kurama.
"Naru-chan, Kurama, can you two bring this book to Mikoto? She's been looking for this book; she forgot that she left it here"
Naruto salutes "Yes, mommy!" while Kurama yaps excitedly.
Naruto takes the book and is about to turn around when, once again, he realizes that no one answers him yet. Maybe they don't know the answer to his question? He stares at his mommy who stares back at him with a smile "What is anal sex?" he asks.
In an instant, Kushina's face turns red. Covering her mouth with her hand, she mumbles "Oh my… oh no… Minato will…"
Hearing his daddy's name, Naruto perks up and an idea pops in his head.
He will ask his daddy!
As if reading his thoughts, Kushina's eyes widen "Naru, listen, don't…"
But it's too late, her son vanish in a flash of yellow and orange accompanied by a flash of red.
.. S x N ..
Naruto is about to search for his father when he finds him making his way out of their house.
"Daddy!" he calls. Minato turns around and smile at his son and Kurama.
"Yes? What is it, Naru?" asks Minato with a smile before bending a little to pet Kurama's head.
"Where are you going, daddy?"
"I'm going out for a while, I need to buy something. Do you need something, dear?"
Naruto shakes his head "No, I just want to ask you something, daddy"
Minato's smile grows wider "Anything, baby. What is it?"
Naruto looks down at Kurama who looks at him in return before looking back up at his daddy… to ask a question that Minato will never forget.
"Daddy, what is anal sex?"
Slowly standing straight, Minato lets the question sink in as he stares blankly at his little angel. When the question sinks in, Minato pales his eyes widening.
A horrified scream tears out form his lungs "NOOO! MY LITTLE ANGEL!" before he faints.
Shock that his daddy faints, Naruto panics "Daddy!" he screams before kneeling on the ground to shake his daddy awake. He hears footsteps and turn to see his mommy and Yama-nii running towards them.
"Minato!"
"Minato-sensei!"
Kushina looks at her husband before looking at her son "Naru… don't worry, daddy will be fine. Go on, you can play with Sasuke"
Hesitantly, Naruto stands up and walk out of their house.
"Ano… Kushina-san…" Yamato starts as he gently pulls up Minato.
"Let's forget about it for now, ne?" asks Kushina. And Yamato, understanding what Kushina means could only nod.
.. S x N ..
At their neighboring mansion, Naruto bites his lower lip "Is daddy okay?"
Kurama rubs his head on Naruto's leg and making noise of comfort as they make their way to the kitchen to find Mikoto.
Once they are at the kitchen, Naruto finds Mikoto preparing sandwiches.
"Miko-kaachan!"
Mikoto looks up and smile upon seeing Naruto and Kurama. She walks towards them pets their head.
"Hello, Naru-chan. How's your checkup?" she asks.
"Orochimaru-sensei said that I'm in good shape!" answers Naruto with a beam.
Mikoto laughs softly, "That's good to hear"
"By the way, Miko-kaachan, mommy said that you left it in our kitchen" says Naruto as he hands out the small book on Mikoto.
Mikoto takes the book and smile "This is the recipe book that I've been searching for. Thank you, Naruto-kun, Kurama too, thank you" she says, pinching softly Naruto's whiskered cheek and petting Kurama's head.
Kurama yaps happily as he wags his tail.
Naruto then starts to fidget "Miko-kaachan… um… do you… do you happen to know…" before Naruto could even ask the 'Golden Question of the Day', Itachi walks in the kitchen.
"Mother, are the sandwiches ready?" he asks, he then smile at seeing Naruto and Kurama. Itachi ruffles Naruto's haird before crouching down to pet Kurama's head "You left your ball at the garden, fur ball" says Itachi with a small smirk to the fox. The little fox just purr in content, he likes it whenever his human family pets him.
"Here, Itachi, dear. These sandwiches are ready, you can bring them now, I'll bring the juice in a few minutes" says Mikoto as she hands Itachi a tray filled with sandwiches.
"Thank you, mother" says Itachi as he takes the tray before turning to Naruto and Kurama "Let's go, you two" he says before walking out of the kitchen and to the living room.
.. S x N ..
At the living room, Madara and Nagato are now playing 'Go' a traditional board game, Itachi is sitting on the floor playing with Naruto and Kurama.
Sasuke is still in his room, currently taking a bath.
"Itachi-nii… you know a lot of things, right?" asks Naruto as his innocent blue eyes stares at Itachi's black ones.
Itachi blinks before nodding slowly "You can say that"
"So, if I ask you something you will be able to answer?"
"I believe I can"
Naruto beams, finally, someone who can answer his question!
"Then, what is anal sex?"
Madara chokes on the sandwich while Nagato chokes on his juice. Itachi seats frozen on the floor as his brain stops working before it slowly digest Naruto's question.
After Madara and Nagato struggles to breathe and compose their selves, Itachi, ever so slowly turns to look at his uncle with a blank stare.
Madara shakes his head "It's not me! I've been here the whole time! And I will never say something like that to Naruto-kun!"
They then hear sounds of running before Sasuke appears with a grin on his face "Naru-chan!"
Naruto stands up and run towards Sasuke with a bright smile, Kurama right behind him "Sasu-kun!"
"Come on, let's play!" says Sasuke before grabbing Naruto's hand. They run towards Sasuke's room with Kurama following them excitedly, leaving the living room filled with Itachi's murderous aura.
"Who taught Naruto-kun those words?" Itachi growls.
.. S x N ..
*One and a half hour later*
Sasuke and Naruto are lying on Sasuke's bed; Kurama is sound asleep on the floor. Sasuke and Naruto yawns, after that they look at each other before laughing.
"I think we should sleep" says Sasuke.
Naruto nods before yawning again "I think we should"
"I'll just put back the toys on the box" Sasuke says before getting up on the bed and proceed to collect his toys and drop them to the box.
"Sasu-kun… I don't understand anything…"
Sasuke looks at Naruto before going back on picking up his toys scattered in the room "What is it that you don't understand?"
Bluntly, Naruto answers "Anal sex"
Sasuke's face becomes red in a flash "Wh-What?!" he squeaks, never once looking at Naruto.
"Anal sex, Sasu, a-nal-sex. Do you know it?"
Oh, yes, Sasuke knows it, alright. He finds out what it is when he starts reading secretly his mother's 'Yaoi Manga Collection'
"Wh-why do you w-want to k-know?"
Naruto lets out a sigh "It's because I don't understand what it is! I've been asking the others but none of them gives me an answer! I don't understand what anal sex is! I don't even know what that blow job thing is! And what is rimming? And it seems that there are toys that are called vibrator and cock ring! Are they fun to play with?"
Blushing darker, Sasuke hastily walk towards his bed and sit on it staring at Naruto.
Naruto gasp "Oh my gosh, Sasuke! What's wrong! Your face is red! Are you sick?!"
"N-no…" says Sasuke with a shake of his head. "Listen, Naruto, about your questions, forget about them"
"Eh? Why?"
"Because… they are bad… so just forget about them. Erase them from your brain. Just… please, forget about it, okay?" asks Sasuke as he stares intently on Naruto's eyes. Even if he knows what those are, he won't tell his Naru-chan "I won't corrupt his innocence".
Naruto, seeing the seriousness on Sasuke's face, nods his head "Okay, I'll forget it, if that's what you say"
With that, the two little love birds lay down on the bed and sleep, cuddling each other.
The questions Naruto needs answers to forgotten.
.
.
.
.
.
Preview: Next chapter 'How It All Happen and Tsunade's Wrath"
A loud scream shakes the entire hospital as the owner and #1 doctor of Konoha Medical Hospital screams profanities "JIRAIYA YOU F****** BASTARD! I'M GOING TO F****** KILL YOU, YOU SON OF A B****!"
RS: oh well… two chapters to go… reviews? :3