The plane ride back to Alaska was uneventful, the only good side to it was finally sleeping safely in Edward's arms. I don't recall a time when we weren't in contact with each other. All of the Cullen's were in their own little bubble while Kate, Carmen and Eleazar talked quietly amongst themselves. I felt terrible for Kate, having lost Tanya and been betrayed by Irina in less than a month. I wondered if any of this would have happened if I hadn't gone to find Edward.
"Bella," Edward said, pulling me from my numb stare out the window. I blinked several times, taking in the familiar sight of the Denali's home, the only difference being that this time, no lights were on, giving the log cabin mansion a cold, distant feel. Edward tugged my hand, pulling me from the car and into the chilled house.
"Are you hungry?" he asked, stopping at the base of the stairs. I turned to look at the clock on the mantle. It was nearly five PM.
"I could eat...plane food isn't all that great," I chuckled awkwardly. I looked down to our joined hands and watched as Edward smoothed his thumbs and fingers over mine, massaging them.
"I don't think we have any food here thats edible anymore...I can go get you something or we can go out if you'd like?" he mentioned, looking at me with his head cocked to the side.
"Can we go out?" I asked, wanting to be do something normal with him.
"Of course Bella, should we go freshen up and leave?"
I nodded, letting him lead me up the stairs. He opened the door to the room I had stayed in when I was first here, confirming my guess that it was his room too.
"I'm going to go get our bags and be right back," he told me, kissing my forehead before turning and going back downstairs. I walked into the room and went straight for the bathroom, leaving the door open, but grabbing a hand towel and wetting it to wash my face, neck and arms so I could feel less gross. I would save a shower for this evening.
"We should change these," Edward appeared in the bathroom with a bag, running his hand over where my cuts were. I nodded, agreeing, tugging my crumpled shirt off of me and letting it fall to the floor. Edward stood behind me, untaped the bandages and cleaned the cuts up only to wrap them with fresh gauze. I didn't move when he finished, leaving him to stare at me through the mirror.
"Our bags are on the bed," he whispered, pulling me back against him so he could tilt my face to the side so he could kiss me. I parted my lips, slightly deepening the kiss and brought one hand up to his hair. He didn't let our kissing continue for much longer, insisting that I needed to eat. I rolled my eyes, but when along and dug through his suitcase until I found a shirt that I wanted to wear. I kept my jeans and converse on, threw my hair up in a ponytail and grabbed a toothbrush.
When I came back out after brushing my teeth Edward had changed as well, changing out his rumpled T-shirt for a sweater. He held out a thick jacket for me and I gratefully eased it on, feeling warmer in the cold house. Edward shrugged the jacket he had on earlier and took my hand, pulling me to him instead of out the door.
"I love seeing you in my clothes Bella," he purred, nuzzling his nose in the crook of my neck. I wrapped my arms around his torso and laid my hands on his shoulder blades, letting my face press against his chest. I loved it when he purred, it was so soothing to me. We stood there for a few moments before he sighed, letting all of me go but my hand and leading me out the the Volvo.
"I've missed this car," he hummed, caressing it as if it was-well, it is his most prized possession.
"As much as I love that you've finally been reunited with the love of your life, the love of your existence is right here," I laughed, teasing him. He peaked over at me from the corner of his eye, smirking.
"Hmm, well, what should I do about that?" he questioned, starting the car and pulling out of the driveway.
"Well…" I started, but was immediately cut off by his wide eyed look.
"I was talking to Volvo!" he exclaimed, reaching his hand out and smoothing it over the dashboard. I broke out laughing, throwing my head back and giggling so hard I had tears coming out of my eyes. Once I had finally calmed down enough, I looked over to see Edward chuckling, staring straight forward at the road. I unbuckled my seatbelt and crawled as far over the console while still staying in my seat as I could, resting my head against his shoulder and kissing his neck.
"Bella, do you want me to wreck?" he asked rhetorically. I chuckled, relaxing more against him before sitting back in my seat with a sigh and buckling back up.
"I love you," he said, his voice solemn. Edward stretched his hand out over the console for mine. I grasped it immediately, craving to feel his touch.
"I love you more," I whispered, trying to keep my voice from cracking. I looked over at him to see his jaw clench and unclench, but he wasn't angry.
His eyes locked on mine in the next instant, "Impossible."
Edward helped me out of the car after having parked in a large parking lot behind old buildings, keeping hold of my hand and leading me in-between two brick and stone walls that led to what looked like a main street. The sky was already darkening, so the lights were on in the stores and lamps, illuminating the street and making it look dim and lovely.
It wasn't too cold out, but the wind made it feel even chillier. I huddled closer to Edward only to have him wrap an arm around my shoulders and tug me close. Even though he wasn't warm himself, I felt warmer just being close to him. It was nice, walking through a small town when you didn't know anybody, not having anyone stare at you and make you feel watched at every turn.
I looked in all the windows we passed, wanting to see what there was to offer here. Some shops played music through speakers outside, inviting people into their warmth. I caught sight of a small hole-in-the-wall restaurant a couple shops up and guessed that was where we were heading.
"Are you going to hunt tonight?" I asked him, knowing he needed it. I couldn't quite recall the last time that he hunted.
"No, I'm not leaving your side." he murmured. I wanted to argue, but we were seated and asked for our drink order, interrupting us.
"What would you like to eat?" Edward asked me when the waitress left. I picked up an old, worn menu and picked through it, finding something simple and settling, knowing I wasn't up to stomach a lot. I nodded at Edward, looking up at him and setting the menu down.
The dim glow of the restaurant reminded me of Bella Italia back in Port Angeles, but I didn't want to go down that road with my thoughts. Instead I admired the quaint aura of the room, comfortable and soft. The light suited Edward and made the setting almost romantic.
"Can I ask you something?" he leaned towards me as he spoke softly, hesitantly almost.
"Of course Edward,"
My mind was reeling at the idea of him being nervous and hesitant. Edward looked down at the table and folded his long fingers together in front of his face, pressing his lips against his hands as he leaned forward on his elbows.
"What were you thinking, back in Volterra...when, with Tanya…" Edward's eyes flicked to mine and away as he contemplated his words. "None of that was fair to you...I never apologized."
I sat there with my mouth agape, not expecting that direction of conversation at all. Surprisingly, I hadn't thought much on it since we left Italy. It was all behind us and-honestly, I wasn't even sure what to think of it.
"Are we ready to order?" the waitress asked, breaking us from our bubble and setting our drinks down.
I shook my head, clearing the thoughts in it to remember what I had wanted.
"Just, uh, just the lasagna would be great, thanks." I fluttered.
"Same for me." Edward barely whispered. The waitress left after tipping her head nonchalantly, leaving us alone again.
I looked up to find Edward watching me intently, frightened.
"I don't know. Edward, I don't know what I thought. I don't know what to make of it. I thought...when you let her come close to you, I was frozen." I admitted, looking down at my hands in my lap and trying not to cry.
"When she touched you...Edward I really didn't know what to think. I wasn't processing anything. Nothing made sense, but I felt like I was in limbo or something. I wasn't in my body. I couldn't...even if I tried, I couldn't defend you and because of that I felt so helpless and weak.
"It's like I told you before. I feel like don't have a hold on you. There's nothing that I can do to keep you." My voice broke at the end and I couldn't look at him, I didn't want him to see the tears in my eyes or the shaking of my hands. I didn't even hear him get out of the booth opposite me and sit next to me until he touched my shoulder, making me jump.
"Bella…" he whispered, his voice cracking too. Finally I looked up at him, needing the connection between us.
Edward move quickly and wrapped himself around me, burying his face in the juncture of my neck and shoulder while folding his arms tightly around my body, soothingly moving up and down my spine and neck.
I grasped him as tightly as I could, clenching his hair in one hand and his shirt in the other.
"I'm so sorry Bella, truly so sorry." he cried, kissing my open skin, "Everything was so fucked up and that was our only way out...I didn't know what else to do, how to get her close enough to kill her and still guarantee Aro's happiness by keeping him out of it so that we could get out. "
I ran my hand through the hair on the nape of his neck, trying to reassure and sooth him the best I could. It wasn't fair to him that he was the one that had to be strong and deal with everything. Just because he had eternal strength didn't mean he had to use it all the time.
"Edward, hey" I kissed his neck, massaging him wherever I touched him at, "it's ok you know? I know you would never hurt me. It wasn't your fault and I completely understand. Please, I don't mean to be so weak all the time and put everything on you. I wish our lives weren't so difficult and hard on you. Because Edward you never get a break from fighting and worrying, but I want you to know that I would do everything over again just to ensure that we will always have each other. I can't lose you. In any way."
Edward's breathing slowed as he gained control even though he was still wrapped so tightly around me, or me him...I wasn't sure it mattered. His soft lips laid delicate kisses along my neck and jaw, soothing me just as much as himself. Slowly, he brought his head up to look at me, leaving less than an inch of space between our faces.
"You have every hold on me Bella, completely and endlessly. I don't know how you still don't understand the power you have on me, but I'll spend the rest of our days showing you...making you understand if you'll let me" he brushed his nose down my cheek, "you're not weak, Bella you're the strongest person I know. I've told you before, it's my job to protect you, Love."
"And it's mine to protect you." I told him, meeting his eyes. His lips twitched up slightly but he wasn't laughing at me, he was awed.
"Yes. Only you."
I leaned my head to kiss him, but was interrupted by our waitress with food in hand. I noticed how we were sitting, myself perched on Edward's lap and our limbs wrapped tightly around one another. I blushed, looking down, embarrassed, but entirely thankful that the restaurant wasn't too crowded and we were sat in a small booth in the back.
"Your food." she announced, not meeting our eye and walking away quietly. She didn't seem that bad, at least she wasn't eyeing Edward like a piece of meat.
Edward chuckled, rubbing his thumbs over my waist and taking a deep breath. Without moving me from his lap, Edward picked up the fork on one of the dishes and cut into the lasagna, bringing it up to my mouth to feed me. I laughed, opening and chewing.
"I can feed myself you know," I chuckled, taking the fork from him and dishing my own bite. I was very hungry by this point and quickly ate the entire portion.
"Still hungry?" He asked, pushing the plate that he ordered for himself towards me. I contemplated.
"Can I get it to go? I don't want to overeat and then throw up later…"
He smirked, nodding before placing a kiss on my shoulder. I looked around the place and noticed the employees cleaning up, no other customer in sight.
"What time is it?"
Edward furrowed his eyebrows pulling out his phone from his back pocket and unlocking it.
"Almost seven."
Two hours. I hadn't realized how quickly the time went. A yawn escaped me and I rested my head on Edward's shoulder.
"Tired, Love?" he murmured, kissing the top of my head. I shrugged, cuddling into him.
"Not too bad. Can we walk around for a bit?" Edward smiled a bit, nodding. Just on cue the waitress made her way over, probably watching us and waiting for us to leave.
"No change, but can we get a box for this?" Edward told her as he handed over a bill.
"Sure of course, I'll be right back with that."
Edward and I stood up, him helping me into my jacket and pulling on his own when the waitress came back with a box.
"Have a good night," she told us before heading back to wherever she came. Edward quickly boxed up the lasagna and kept hold of it, grabbing my hand and walking us out of the warm building.
"It got colder out," he looked over at me, "are you sure you're ok to walk around?" I nodded, looking up at him.
"Not for long, just a little while."
Edward tugged me closer, putting our joined hands into his pocket, keeping them out of the chilly air. I tucked my other hand into my own pocket and walked in step with him.
We walked around Main Street for over an hour after depositing my leftover box in Edward's car, popping in and out of shops that were open and making fun about random things, sharing private jokes and stealing kisses here and there. It was wonderful to feel so carefree and just let loose.
We were about to turn back and head to the Denali's when we came to a very old antique shop that was open. Edward looked so enamored by it that I pulled him in myself, curious to see if we could find anything interesting.
Edward's smile told me I made the right choice.
"Hello! How are you dears doing this evening? It's a bit nippy out," the older lady at the counter greeted. I recognized her quickly as the woman from the hotel in Chicago. She looked at us clearly after we came in and seemed to recognize us too, or maybe it was just Edward.
"Hi," I giggled, "um, it is rather cold out now."
"Do you two live here too?" she asked, seemingly excited.
"Temporarily," Edward answered smoothly, "Is this your shop?"
"Oh it is! Henry and I have owned this thing since...well, way past your time, but let me tell you, there are lots of fascinating things in here!" she blubbered, coming out from behind the counter and smiling up at us. "My name's Amanda by the way,"
"I'm Edward, and this is my Bella,"
"What in the world is going on out here Mandy?" an old mans voice called from the back.
"Oh Henry come out! You'll never guess who is here!" she bellowed. I leaned into Edward's side, amused. He tucked his arm around my waist and squeezed gently.
Henry followed Amanda's orders and came out from the walls of old antiques, his eyes looking at his wife, amused and then widening when he saw Edward and I.
"Well, well, well, look who it is. I believe I remember you two misbehaving in the pool of that hotel," he joked. I blushed anyway, making Edward chuckle.
"Oh Henry! Stop embarrassing them!" Amanda clucked, hands readily on her hips.
"What were the two of you doing in Chicago?" Edward asked, making conversation.
Henry and Amanda shared a look, smiling.
"We got to meet our second grandbaby!" Amanda cooed, "Besides, Henry and I like to travel occasionally while we still can."
"Of course, what was...she? he? like?" I asked, biting my lip.
"She, her name is Christine and I know she has her father wrapped around her finger already."
"That's so sweet, you both look very proud," I told her. She lit up but said no more, just staring between us happily.
"If you both don't mind, we would love to look around your shop," Edward interjected, peace filling his voice.
"Oh of course!" Amanda exclaimed, "Henry come on, let's leave these to youngins to the rest of their evening,"
"Good to see the two of you," Henry chuckled, following his wife off to the back.
Edward pulled me to the tucked in walls immediately, pulling me close to his body and wrapping his arms around my waist and leaning his face against my shoulder.
"Are you ok?"
"I can't give you that Bella," he whispered, sounding so despondent.
"Kids? Edward I thought we understood each other...I would only want that with you and since we can't I understand, it's not like I'm dying to be a mom. If it was me who couldn't bare a child, wouldn't you feel the same way? Lot's of people go through this and make it by just fine. Edward all I want is you, that's all I need." I told him, making him look up at me.
He looked solemn, "You're right, I just wish I could give you everything."
"I just need you."
"And I you Bella. I love you more than you know." I smiled at him, tearing up.
"I love you too...and I would love you even more if you told me where the bathroom is at?" He laughed, releasing me and pointing me to where the restrooms were at.
I sighed as I closed the door behind me, doing my business and washing my hands before splashing off my face and staring at myself in the mirror. I looked like I did after spending the first day in the meadow with Edward, face flushed and eyes bright, a lasting grin etched on my face. I looked down to my left hand where my ring lay, pounding against my finger in the best way possible. With a shake of my head, I left the bathroom and went to find Edward at the front of the store, talking with Amanda.
"Hi, sorry," I said, not wanting to interrupt.
"Hi," Edward grinned at me, pulling me to him and kissing my head, his usual greeting. Amanda smiled largely at us.
"We should head out, it's been quite an evening don't you think?" Edward asked me. I nodded my head, starting to feel heavy and tired.
"Well I hope to see you both around town," Amanda said as Edward zipped me up and took my hand again.
"Most definitely, thanks for letting us look around so late," I told her. She smiled and hugged me briefly before smiling at Edward.
"Don't be strangers, and if you need anything, just let me or Henry know."
"Thank you Amanda, we'll do that. Have a good evening," Edward said politely before taking us from the store.
Luckily the car wasn't far away from the shop, because I wasn't going to make it much further. Edward hauled most of my weight and buckled me in, kissing my forehead before going to his side and driving off. I fell asleep almost instantly and woke only minutely to Edward undressing me in bed, leaving me in his T-shirt and my panties only to get in himself and pull me to him where I quickly got comfortable.
"Thank you Bella,"
"I love you," I slurred before falling back asleep.