Strawberry Gashes

Well another long pause before an update. Reasons behind it Sharva didn't have internet service at her house and I stayed there for roughly two weeks because her family went out of town and I stayed with her so she wasn't alone. Well now we are back and to our guest reviewer I am so glad you like our fanfic, Kalira will be playing a bigger part in our part two, but that is all I'm giving away. Also for other reasons for the delay when Sharva was working on her POV's they got deleted so she had to restart. THEN I myself went through some really personal dilema's but now we're back. This chapter is not for the faint of heart!

Chapter Twenty Five- Strawberry Gashes All Over, All Over

Allen's POV:

I had walked out of Asarina's room finally and just stood there in the hallway leaning against her now closed bedroom door. The words that Tyki had said to me now rung through my head even more and the feeling of doubt began to fill me. What if he was right? What if Kanda truly didn't love me?! I pushed off of the door and slowly made my way into Kanda's room fighting the onslaught of tears that threatened to come. I began to try and remind myself that Tyki was a liar and that it couldn't be true. My mind had already fallen into that dark place once more and I just couldn't get myself to believe. I leaned completely back against the closed door of Kanda and my room, my head leaned back as I stared about the room. The tears fell and I didn't fight back the sobs that broke free, everything felt as if it was caving in around me and I swear… it really was. Timcanpy flew around my head trying to grab my attention but I only swatted him away slowly standing to my feet and making my way to the arch like windows in Kanda's room and pushed one open walking out onto the balcony.

Tim flew around my head and I now only ignored him standing right before the stone railing looking out over the trees and outline of Paris. The moon was already moving up high into the sky and stars were beginning to appear once more. I slightly climbed onto the railing sitting on it with my feet dangling over the edge and I slightly leaned forward starring down at the far drop below me. I contemplated it, but it wasn't the ideal death I wanted, it would have been quick and painless. That wasn't what I wanted. I wanted to feel my own life slowly begin to slip out of my veins, I wanted to feel that final ghost like breath push out of my lungs. I wanted to feel the numbness that appeared when you would cross over. I looked up above my head when the first small rumble of the thunder rang through and not long after the rain poured down around me. I could only stare up at the sky as the raindrops mixed with my tears.

I'm all you have Allen! No one loves you and no one wants you. Your relationship with Kanda is just a fucking lie. His love for you is only an Illusion! He does not love you!

Maybe but I don't know Kanda that well. My advice, stay away from love cause it is what will hurt you or possibly even kill you.

I couldn't help but cover my mouth with both my hands the sobs came on harder this time and I realized that their words had been right. I knew my love for Kanda was true since I had loved him for quite a long time now, but…I still had my doubts on Kanda since our relationship had occurred so quickly the night my cutting was brought to light. I slowly and slowly felt that the only person now days I could trust and go to was Asarina, but after the battle today I knew I couldn't stay with her. My recent talk was obvious that she needed to be alone. I didn't want to go to Kanda because he was already on edge from what Tyki had done to me in front of our group. Then there is my master…I didn't wish to burden him, I didn't want to seem weaker than what I already was.

I stumble back into the room nearly tripping but caught myself on the wall near the bathroom door. My vision was blurry from the falling tears. I felt tiny nips on my skin from Tim trying to snap me out of whatever state I was in. The actions only angered me and I grabbed him before throwing him out the open balcony door. I had hurried into the bathroom and shut the door behind me leaning my head back against the wood and starred up at the white ceiling feeling the numbness fill me before I pushed off of the door and walked to the vanity. Starring into the mirror I felt my anger rise and before I could help it my fist connected with the glass and the shards fell to the vanity counter littering the marble surface and littered the floor as well. I dropped to my knees starring at the floor. I began to wander why my life had been driven to this point, I wandered why I still allowed myself to be hurt. I wandered why no one told me to leave when all I ever did was cause trouble. Letting out the breath I was holding I reached down and lifted one of the large shards of glass from the floor, examining it. This was it and I wasn't afraid, I had no regrets. Lifting the shard to my pale white skin I dug the shard into the scar I had made during Kanda and my fight re-slicing the scar back open. I watched the blood ooze out quickly and begin to run down my arm creating tiny rivers. I let a small sad smile grace my lips as I lay back onto the floor to stare up at the white ceiling.

You have to pull through Allen. You have to pull through so I can apologize, so I can fix the promise I told you. I need you , you're my Moyashi. Please...I beg you.

I can only choke on a small sob remembering his words from when I first cut like this to actually kill myself. I couldn't help but feel bad for what I was going to be doing to him.

"I'm sorry Kanda." I whisper to myself watching as my vision was starting to become blurry. I can only curse myself though when I hear the door open and I just wished that God for once would just let me die already.

Kanda's POV:

'I can't believe her…that….that BITCH! How dare she hit me above the head with a damn lunch tray! I'll kill her…I'LL KILL….Hey is that Timcanpy?' I thought looking through the windows of the cafeteria to see the little gold golem flying about. I slowly stood from my seat unable to take my eyes off of him. He seemed frantic and I couldn't help the sinking feeling that appeared in the pit of my stomach.

"Kanda is everything alright? You seemed like you were about to kill someone and now you're suddenly blank." General Cross said and I only ignored his comments and I heard Lenalee say something as well but I was so lost in watching Tim that I didn't hear her. Lavi had called out to me but in that instant I had run out of the cafeteria right as the golem flew into the building from an open window and he had immediately made a bee line towards me trying to lead me somewhere. I immediately knew where he was trying to lead me.

"Lead me to Allen, Tim!" I said and he flew off in the direction to our room. This was making no sense, he had seemed fine when he had chased after Asarina. Besides there isn't any way for him to harm himself we took away all potential harmful items from both his and my rooms. The closer we got the more sinking the feeling became. When we got to the room it was eerily quiet and the only sound was the thunder and rain outside.

"I'm sorry Kanda." That's when I felt the breath in my lungs leave as I heard his apology. I knew he didn't know I was there. I was frozen in place for I don't know how long too afraid to see what I knew I was going to find. Swallowing down nothing I walked and stood in front of the bathroom door my sweaty hand resting on the cool metal of the door handle.

'Oh kami no…please don't let it be the worst.' I thought to myself and pushed open the door. All my fears came true in that instant as my eyes widened from the sight in front of me. Nothing ran through my head as I rushed forward dropping to my knees lifting Allen immediately into my arms. I didn't care if blood would be staining my clothes.

"Not again….Not again Allen!" I begged holding him close to me.

"Y-you weren't su-supposed t-to find me." I heard him choke out and could only press my lips to his trying to make him understand in some way on how much I loved him.

"Don't…don't you dare fucking die on me Allen!" I snap and jumped to my feet. "Tim go get help!" I yelled at the flying golem knowing that he was faster than me. I knew who could help and no matter how mad I was at her, I ran to her room which was only a few doors down from my own and banged on the door. I knew Kalira may be woken up and right now her killing me for waking her child was the last worry on my mind. Almost immediately the door was swung open and I swear if looks could kill.

"Kanda…this better be im…" She began to growl out.

"Please….I need you to help me….I…I…." I couldn't get the words out and I knew I was begging and looked desperate I saw her eyes roam over me.

"Kanda what did you do to yourse…." She began to ask and that was when the worst question that could ever be asked was heard.

"Kanda why are you covered in Allens blood?" Narul asked appearing on her shoulders and I knew from right there I may have my life ended especially if she doesn't let me speak.

Asarina POV:

I stood there and looked at Kanda covered in blood, Allen's blood to be exact. The point was the dosage of Vex34 was beginning to slowly wear off since I only used enough to just calm me down and I was not prepared for this. I had only seen Allen about a few hours ago. I was unsure of what had happened but for his cocky boyfriend to show up and ask for help it had to be grave.

"Kanda, what in God's name is going on and I swear it better be good." I say with my eyes glaring at him for I was not in mood for any type of games.

"It's Allen, I found him on the floor covered in blood, the mirror was broken, he had piece in his hand, and the wound is very deep. I don't know what to do" He was talking to0 fast and it was jumbled. So I smacked him across the face in mid-sentence.

"Get a grip on yourself and come back to reality." I tell him and he looks calmer. "Now tell me what happened?"

"Tim got my attention and I fallowed him to our room. When I walked in I saw the mirror broken, a piece of the mirror in his hand and blood gushing out of his arm." He says with tears in his eyes. I knew I had to act fast.

"Narul get the medical supplies and hurry." I tell my son and ran to into the bathroom to get towels. When I came out I saw Narul had the supplies and was waiting for me. "Let's go."

With that the three of us ran down the hallway to Allen. I was not prepared for what I saw. The mirror was indeed smashed and there was a lot of blood, everywhere. The first thing I did was check his pulse and it was fading. I signal my son and he puts the container of medical supplies on the ground, which I immediately open and pull out a needle full of adrenaline. Kanda looked so pale but I had no choice. I stabbed the needle in him and injected it into his body. After a few seconds his pulse was getting stronger.

I grab a towel and start to wipe the blood away and apply pressure on his arm. Why in the world would he go this deep? My mind went racing as I tried to understand how and why he did this. After I got most of the blood cleaned from his arm, I pull out a needle and the fire ball heats up it. I then put thread in it and I'm about to start to sew it up that way we can move him. Next thing I know his eyes open and he just stairs at me, trying to figure out what I'm doing.

"Asarina, what are you doing to me?" He finally says as I'm about to start to sew up his arm. I knew that this stitching alone would not save his life but I would give us a few minutes to where Narul could free fall down the center of the building and get him to the infirmary.

"I'm trying to save your stupid ass." I tell him angrily and look over to Kanda who is in so much distress. "Now don't fight me or I will punch you. Why in the world would you do this?" Little did I know that his answer would cause me a shock.

"You said to stay away from love or it could kill me. So I decided it would be best if I just died now." He replied in sadness and I just froze. He then closed his eyes and I could tell his breathing had slowed down.

That is when it hit me, the conversation we had a few hours ago after I had injected vex34 into my body. I had told him love was an illusion and an emotion that causes pain. I stopped the stitching and look at Kanda, who was now glaring at me. I was in no mood to fight with him, but I had no clue what to say to him, so I started back on Allen's arm.

"What is he talking about?" Kanda asked me in a very pissed off tone of voice. "Tell me now or I will…"

"What in the devil happened here." Cross asked as he came into the bathroom and out of breath and almost slipping on Allens spilt blood.

"I'm not sure as to why he cut himself." I say calmly as possible, but I knew Kanda had other ideas.

"That is a bunch of bull and you know it. You were the last person to speak to him and he talks about love being an illusion." Was his reply

"Kanda now is not the time for this." I tell him as I finish the stitching. "Kanda, I need a blanket, and Cross can you move Allen once Kanda has placed the blanked outside the door."

"Of course I can move him. Kanda do what she says." Cross almost sounded like he was ordering him around and I thought Kanda would be mad but instead he ran to get the blanket.

"Narul, once we get Allen in the blanket, you will have about five minutes to get him to the infirmary." I tell my fireball as Cross picks up Allen. The stitching is holding, but blood is still coming out.

Narul's POV:

I watched Cross pick up Allen and carry him to the door. I knew what my mom was going to have me do. I'm kind of used to it, carry people to the nearest medical place I can find. This time I would have to be fast and careful, with Allen's condition, one wrong move or bump could be his life. I see Kanda lay the blanket down and Allen was placed in it. I see my mom tightly wrap Allen's arm up and Kanda is still glaring at her, which is making me uneasy. I know she took Vex34 and I have to watch out for her. If dummy Cross and his stupid hat finds out, then it will be bad.

"Okay, Narul, are you ready. You have five minutes to get to the medical wing or the bleeding will start all over again." My mom tells me with the serious tone and finishes tying the cloth around his arm. Then she ties the blankets corners. "Don't fail me."

With that I garb the blanket, lift up Allen, fly to the center, and then free fall drop. I heard Kanda scream as I was falling down. I know what I'm doing and I know the severity of what could happen. I was not going to allow Allen to die. I love to free fall, and soon I see the floor, in which I slow down. Then fly straight to the medical center doors.

"Open the doors." I yell as I see Lenalee and Lavi walking by. They open the doors and I fly through with them behind me.

The nurses see me fly in and drop Allen on a bed, immediately sending them into a frenzy asking what had happened. I explain to them that Allen cut himself with a piece of broken mirror and that my mom had stopped the bleeding long enough for me to get him here. Komui walks in and freaks out, then starts gathering equipment to help in the operating room.

"You two stay here with Narul." Komui said as he walks in into the closed door room. I knew he meant Lenalee and Lavi.

"This is great. I don't have to do that test now." I shout and start dancing around on an empty bed. Lenalee is trying not to laugh and Lavi is just staring at me. I'm having fun dancing but that is short lived.

"You are still going through with that test." Komui stats as he runs to grab something and then goes back to Allen, I just wilt and look sad.

I don't know how long we waited in silence before Kanda and Cross came in. By the looks of it, Kanda changed clothes and was rather pissed. "Where is my mom?" I ask them

"She needed to feed your sister and put away the medical supplies." Cross says and sits beside me. "You really are a lifesaver to have."

"So, what made Allen do this?" Lenalee asks and looks at Kanda. "We are not sure if he is going to make it but the nurses said that whatever Asarina did help Allen a lot."

"It's her fault that he is in this mess. Whatever she told him made him do this." He yells and now I'm going to lay down the law on him.

"You don't really know what happened either. My mom would never tell Allen to go kill himself." I yell back and now I grow slightly bigger. "You always blame everything on my mom and I don't like that. You really are a baka."

"You are an annoying reptile who does not really like anyone." Kanda yells back and now I have an idea.

"At least I don't do weird things in the forest." I threaten, because no one calls me a reptile or a lizard and gets away with it.

"That is enough from both of you." Cross says and I only stare at him. "Allen is seriously injured and could die. Narul, you keep quiet, and Kanda, you better not piss him off. Remember he did bite you."

I'm now sitting on Lenalee's lap and very mad. I don't know what to do, mom is on Vex34 again, Allen is dying, and Kanda is mad at me. Why does life have to be so hard and boring at times? I hope Allen lives or I might lose someone else. I hate my job sometimes but as mom says death is a part of life and if it is your time, then you have to go.

Kanda's POV:

After being yelled at by Asarina to get showered and change she leaves once she knows I will listen to what she says. My anger only builds from knowing that she had a part in Allen deciding to end his life and eventually I plan to get to the bottom of it. I close my bedroom door before slowly making my way back into the bathroom seeing his blood all over the place. I lean over and my shoulder collides with the door frame as I slide down to my knees tears falling from my eyes. I was so angry at Allen, angry at Asarina and livid at that fucking Tyki Mikk. I just wanted to go out and find that filthy Noah and kill him! All I wanted was for today to rewind, I should have followed Allen when he chased after Asarina out of the cafeteria this evening. I was such a fool. We all knew he wasn't completely better and that one of us should have been watching him at all times.

Gathering myself up as much I was ever going to be able to do, I stood from the floor gathering more towels and began wiping up the blood. Every once in a while I would have to wipe the tears that fell from my eyes. Something told me tonight was only going to get worst and I had no idea how I was going to handle this. I just wanted my Moyashi back in my arms. I wanted the both of us just to leave and go somewhere where no one would find us and he would be safe away from those damned Noah's! After cleaning the blood up, I stuffed the dirtied towels into a garbage bag and left by the bathroom door, I'll dispose of them properly later. Tearing my soiled clothes from my body I also stuffed those into a garbage bag and tossed it with the other before climbing into the steaming hot shower standing there. I scrubbed myself twelve times before I was satisfied enough and climbed out changing into my training outfit and headed out meeting up with Cross who had obviously been waiting for me.

Then we were off to the infirmary.

Cross's POV:

The last fucking thing anyone needed right now was an angry Kanda and an angry Narul going at it in the hallway. If Allen pushed through this time, that would be the LAST thing he would be needing to see. Two people he cared for deeply trying to kill one another. Asarina still hadn't made it over to us which meant she was attending to Kalira and will have to be updated once we find out about Allen's condition. Most of everyone minus Kanda and I sat in chairs as we watched the infirmary door waiting for someone to come out. This is the third time since I've come here that Allen has been rushed to the infirmary to get stitched up. Maybe I should have paid a bit more attention to him while growing up.

I am brought from my thoughts when the door slips open and Komui walks out, he shuts the door behind him and leans against it. You could tell there was a lot on his mind. I couldn't tell if what he was about to tell the rest of us good news or if it was going to be bad news. I looked about everyone and they all had the same expressions, anticipation. I could tell that even myself was anticipating the very thing that was about to be said to us. After a moment Komui removed his hat and let out a heavy sigh.

"Where is Asarina?" He asked, of course he would wander that but, that's to be expected with Allen and Asarina both being exceptionally close.

"She's caring to my sister and cleaning up." Narul answered for all of us and I was thankful for that. I look over and see Kanda shacking and I pray that Komui would get on with what he was about to tell us.

"Well, thanks to Naruls expertise flying and quickness we were able to save Allen." He said and I knew a weight was lifted off of everyones shoulders. But then his face went serious and I knew things were only about to get bad.

"Sadly Allen Walker has fallen into a coma and we have no clue on how long it's going to be until he wakes up." Komui then said and I watch as Kanda's eyes widen in shock and he falls to his knees. I myself couldn't believe what I was hearing. This was worst than having to deal with Allen when he went through his traumatized side. I stepped back and leaned against the wall and covered my face with my hand. He may be a baka minarai, but he is my baka minarai! He was the closest thing to a son I had and I don't want to loose that. Not many people in this day and age ever wake up from a coma!

"Cross, I think it would be best that Kanda and you trade off through out the day watching over him. During lunch the head nurse or I will be in to check his vitals." Komui then explained, I could only nod my head as I stepped forward towards the room. I could hear Lenalee trying to coax Kanda to get up and snap out of it, but I knew he'd be there for a good while. I also heard Komui leading Narul to Hevlaska so the worm like woman could meet him. It would be one hell of a surprise for Narul that is for sure. I heard Lavi say something about going and telling Asarina, but I was in my own world the moment I sat down at the chair starring at Allen. He was pale and his heart beat was slow, but thankfully it was steady. Kanda soon joined me sitting in the chair across from me. His eyes were still wide and I knew he was far away and probably will be for a while.

Lavi's POV:

I decided to let Lenalee handle Kanda and decided to chance Asarina and tell her of Allen's new situation and that he was in coma. I couldn't believe that this was happening. I thought Allen was getting better and I wandered what could have happened to change all that. Kanda said something about Asarina doing something, but then again, with Allen's state of mind I wouldn't put it past him to take something out of context and freak out over it. But then again I'm not at all surprised because once you look at everything that has happened then you would see that all the clues were there. We were just all too blind to see them. Allen made us all believe that he was getting better when in actuality...he really wasn't.

Stepping to in front of Asarina's door, I wandered if I should just wait to tell her and go check up on Lenalee first. She is going to be a bundle of emotions as well, but I knew this needed to get done first and I'd just stay the entire night with my girlfriend. She'd need me more then, than she needs me right now. Taking in a deep breath I let it out quickly with a huff and took hold of the door handle. Twisting it I closed my eyes as I pushed the door open.

"Asarina, I'm here to tell you about Allens con...di...tion..." I faded out as I opened my eyes and saw the sight in front of me and just stood there blinking. There sitting on her bed was Asarina with some sort of band tied around her arm and needle filled with some sort of liquid inside it by her arm. She was about to inject herself with whatever she had in there.

"If you do not wish to die Lavi...Get out!" She hissed and I found myself unable to answer and I quickly shut the door shouting apologies from outside the door and quickly walked off away from what I had just witnessed. I decided right then and there that I didn't wish to know everything about Asarina. Right now I was going to go find my girlfriend and keep her company while we all dealt with what we were now going through.

I will take what I just saw to the grave!

Allen's POV:

I opened my eyes to see myself floating in that vast pool of blackness, but unlike all the other times...this time I was unable to see the white lights which led me to dreams of others. I had this sickening feeling that I was in a place where I shouldn't be. A place where I won't be able to escape from very easily. Everything around me was suffocating and I wanted nothing but to run away and look for Kanda. But I was in my own personal hell and I had to live with this.

Why had I chosen to kill myself?

That was a question that I myself couldn't even answer because I was in such a weak state of mind that I myself couldn't clearly comprehend my own reasoning's. Everything around me began to spin and I felt like I was going to be ripped into tiny millions of shreds. I yelped when I was flung out of my dark pool landing on a hard ground with black and white checkered board pattern. This floor was all too familiar for me and I felt tears spring forward. As I slowly stood to my feet suddenly feeling cold.

Where was Kanda and would he be able to save me?

Something told me I was on my own expecially when Tyki slowly appeared into view with that sick wicked smile of his and my tears fell. I swallowed back the sob in my throat as I stepped backwards until my back connected with a wall. Soon Tyki was standing there directly in front of me not once ever saying a word. Even my sobs were silent.

Everything after that was painful and I all I could do was scream for Kanda and run away from Tyki. A gash had reappeared on my arm from where I cut and blood dripped to the floor leaving a trail for Tyki to follow. I knew this couldn't be real and that I was trapped in some sort of limbo. Sent her to repent for my sin of nearly succeeding in killing myself. I vow when I get out of here I will never try to commit suicide ever again! I can't promise that I won't cut again, because it's not that simple sadly. But I will vow to never try to die again.

I want to be awake.

I want Kanda!

Well finally the long awaited chapter of chapter 25 the halfway point chapter of Strawberry Gashes! I bet you guys have been waiting ever so patiently for this and I do apologize for the long delay. I promise next chapter will be up tomorrow and most likely the next 9 chapters will be out hopefully in the next two weeks. Well please review because we love reviews and see you in 26 tomorrow!