I'm back! Had the greatest weekend of my life…! So, I might be talked into updating again today…

Chapter 24: You left

Derek's blood froze in his veins as the petite woman took one more step towards the edge, glancing down.

"Don't jump!" he screamed in panic and was at her side in a millisecond, pulling her away from the edge. It hurt him to see how she flinched under his touch; it felt amazing to him.

"I wasn't going to." Meredith rolled her eyes and blushed; a delicate pink spread softly over her cheekbones. Derek marvelled at her voice, her incredibly sweet voice, even low, panicky and rough, like she had been crying.

He ignored that she cringed away from his hands and put them on her arms, protectively dragging her to the bench on the middle of the roof. As soon as he sat her down, she moved as far way from him as she possibly could on the bench. That stung.

Silence.

"Mer," Derek said, gazing intensely at the woman, hoping for some kind of response, anything to hear her voice once more.

…

Silence.

A lone tear dropped from Meredith's eye and it hurt him deep to see her in pain like that.

"Mer!" Derek said again, watching helplessly as Meredith's few, quiet tears began to pour down her cheeks.

She immediately looked up to the sound of her name rolling off his lips. I felt so good, so right to say that name again. Meredith straightened up and smiled a distant smile, one that didn't reach the tear-brimmed eyes.

"Who would have thought you'd look so good in scrubs? Way better than Alex or George. Of course you have an advantage, I mean, the dark ones, they're way more awesome than mine. Oh well, I better get used to them, I'll wear light blue scrubs until I'm an attending if that's ever going to happen. What about," swallow, "Addison, is she here? Of course she is, she's your wife now, according to that ring on you finger, sorry I missed out on the wedding by the way…"

"Meredith," Derek cut her off when he realized that he wasn't really listening but just enjoying her ramble. "Shut up and let me look at you."

Meredith froze on the bench; Derek wasn't sure whether she was even breathing or not. He scrutinized every inch of her, looking for bits and pieces of information.

"You don't have freckles anymore," he noted.

"It's Seattle. City of rain, remember?"

He ignored her rhetorical question.

"Your hair is longer."

"I guess it is. Hair grows."

You've got a tattoo on your wrist."

"Yes."

"It's Winnie the Pooh."

"I have a thing for Winnie," Meredith defended, a hot-headedly, defensive tone slipping into her voice in a matter of seconds. Derek smiled softly; still having a slightly out of body experience.

"I remember."

"…And I was drunk." Meredith looked down again.

Derek's mind spun a couple of times but it didn't matter at this point; nothing would shake him the least bit. But-

The thought alone was extremely weird. Meredith. Drunk.

Huh?

"Oh." That was all he could think to say.

As his mind began to function properly again, questions began to invade his brain.

"You left," he accused, his voice breaking. Meredith looked down, fear in her eyes.

"Derek…"

"Why did you leave me… us?"

Derek waited, letting all the pain and hurt shine through.

Meredith swallowed and was on the verge of tears. Again. She took a deep breath and was about to say something… But she caught herself and began on another sentence.

"Derek…" she trailed off.

"Meredith! I need some answers!" Derek was getting frustrated. "Why would you leave me?"

"It's complicated goddamnit. I need some time Derek!" Meredith got up from the bench.

An irrational, ground-shaking fear rolled over Derek when he saw her walking away. Something snapped inside of him and he knew: The pain of not knowing was not nearly as great as the pain of not being close to her. He would deal with anything, as long as she didn't walk away again.

Derek walked up to her, caught her and pulled her into a tight embrace on the bench. After a minute or so he could feel her relax in his arms.

They both went quiet for a moment or two.

"Just give me one."

"One what?" Meredith asked, tired.

"One answer."

She hesitated.

"A small one," she finally allowed.

Derek pondered for a moment. There was so much he needed to know. He asked her the first thing that came to his mind.

"How come we couldn't find you? We went everywhere."

"That's not a small one," Meredith protested but Derek just looked her deep in the beautiful green eyes.

"Fine," she sighed, carefully choosing her words. "I guess it was harder to find me because I changed my name and…"

She stiffened in his arms, waiting for his response, slowly easing up when there wasn't any.

Derek realized that he should be mad. Mad at the situation, mad at her for not giving him a full answer, mad at her for so many reasons… But he wasn't anything. No, it was impossible to feel anything but ease with the scent of lavender overwhelming his senses completely.

"Let's just…" Meredith hesitated. "Hold me a little. Is that okay?"

"More than okay," Derek smiled and pulled her tiny frame even closer, letting her rest her head against his chest. "We don't have to move for a while."

Meredith sighed in content agreement and was unaware that she instinctively rubbed her nose against his scrub-covered chest. Derek certainly was aware; it felt good, actually.

He knew this conversation wasn't over. He knew he needed answers, all the answers. But right now, resting with Meredith in his arms made him feel genuinely happy like he hadn't in a long seven years.