A/N: Thanks to everyone for all the great reviews. I know this has gotten angsty but I swear it will lighten up some... not really that much this chapter but soon. :) I will also let you know when it is over so don't worry!

First Kiss

Chapter Twenty Five

Finn fell back on his bed letting the music of REO Speedwagon wash over him. At times he would sing loudly to the words. At other times, he would lay quietly letting the tears fall down his face. When it got too messy, he used his sleeve to wipe off his face. He just didn't care anymore.

School had been a blur today. It hadn't been hard to keep to himself. Everyone was mad at him, and they all avoided him. He didn't blame them. At this point, even he hated himself.

As the song started up once again, he sang along to the words… words that reminded him of Kurt.

I can't fight this feeling any longer.

And yet I'm still afraid to let it flow.

What started out as friendship has grown stronger,

I only wish I had the strength to let it show.

He didn't know what to do about Kurt. He just knew he was miserable.

And even as I wander I'm keeping you in sight.

You're a candle in the window in a cold dark winter's night.

And I'm getting closer than I ever thought I might.

All this time he had been trying to deny how he felt about Kurt. He hadn't wanted to believe he could care so much about another guy. That he could want to be with another guy. And now the pain of being without Kurt made all his earlier doubts seem… stupid.

And I can't fight this feeling anymore…

I've forgotten what I started fighting for.

It's time to bring this ship into the shore

and throw away the oars,

Baby I can't fight this feeling anymore.

He missed Kurt so much. Why had he ruined everything? First by kissing Rachel and then by yelling at him.

My life has been a whirlwind since I saw you.

I've been running round in circles in my mind.

And it always seems I'm following you boy

cuz you take me to the places that alone I'd never find.

He closed his eyes. He could still see Kurt's face as it was yesterday in Glee practice, when he had embarrassed him. He probably hated him, too.

And even as I wander I'm keeping you in sight.

You're a candle in the window in a cold dark winter's night.

And I'm getting closer than I ever thought I might.

The soft click barely registered, but then the quietness of the room caught his attention.

He opened his eyes to see his mom standing over him.

"Finn? Is everything alright?"

"Yeah, Mom," he said unconvincingly, as he sat up on the bed.

"Really? Because you have been playing this same song for over an hour, and honestly, I can't take it anymore."

"Sorry, Mom."

She sat down on the bed with him.

"Honey, it might help to talk about it."

"I don't think it will," he said sadly.

"Is it Quinn and the baby? I know she hurt you, but…"

"It's not about Quinn or the baby, Mom."

"Oh," she replied.

The room grew quiet for awhile.

"Is it Kurt?"

Finn looked at her in surprise.

"It's obvious that the boy is crazy about you, Finn. I could see that any time he was here. I just didn't think you were interested in him… in that way."

Finn didn't say anything.

"Obviously, I was wrong."

"Do you think that's okay? That I like Kurt… you're not disappointed in me, are you?"

She hugged him then. "Of course not, honey. I just want you to be happy, and if Kurt makes you happy then that is what's important."

"I think he hates me right now. I wasn't very nice to him."

"We all do stupid things, Finn. If he really cares about you… I think he'll forgive you."

"I don't know. He won't even talk to me."

"Just remember, Finn. Words are just words. It's our actions that have the most impact."

"I'm not sure I understand what you mean."

"You have to show him, Finn. Instead of trying to tell him, show Kurt how you feel."

****

Burt Hummel watched his son pick at his food. Usually, Kurt was the cook of the house, but tonight Burt had made dinner. Kurt didn't seem up to it. He was sure his lousy cooking wasn't what had Kurt picking at his food. He hadn't eaten much for the last two days. In fact this whole week had been strange. Kurt would be depressed one day and happy as could be the next. He was sure it had something to do with a boy. Something to do with that football player… what was his name? Finn something.

"Do you want me to make you something else, Kurt?"

"No, Dad. This is fine. I'm just not hungry."

"Do you want to talk about it?"

Kurt shrugged his shoulders.

"Is it a boy? Is it that Finn kid?"

Kurt nodded his head as the tears started to fall. Burt really hated to see him cry. He wasn't good at tears.

"I thought he cared about me," Kurt said in a quiet voice. "But I was wrong."

"You really like him, don't you?"

"Yes," he said. "But I caught him kissing someone else… a girl. And so I told him I didn't want to see him anymore."

"Good for you, Kurt," he said but at his son's look, he amended his response. "I mean… you did the right thing."

Kurt smiled. It was a sad smile but it was still a smile.

"I know. It just hurts. It was only two days ago that we got back together, and I was so happy. It's so hard to love someone and then suddenly not to have them anymore."

Burt looked down at his plate. "I know," he said sadly.

"Oh Dad, I'm sorry."

"It's okay, Kurt. I loved your mother. I still love her. And after ten years, it's still hard not having her around."

"Yeah."

"So, even though I can't believe I am saying this… if you really love this boy, and he loves you, then you need to find some way to make it work. People get confused, and they do stupid things, Kurt. Don't let that get in your way."

"But what if he doesn't love me, back? What if he can't give up girls?"

"Then you need to move on and forget about him."

Kurt nodded his head once again.

"I know that's hard, Kurt, but…"

"I deserve better," Kurt finished for him.

"Yes, you do."

Burt thought he might break down and cry at any moment, so he stood up and started clearing the table.

"I got this, Dad," Kurt said, standing up.

"No, Kurt. I'll clean up. Why don't you take a bath or listen to music or something?"

"Thanks, Dad," Kurt said, giving him a quick hug before he went to his room.

Later that night Kurt came into his room with his blanket and pillow. Burt knew that he wanted to sleep on the floor next to his mother's old dresser. He tucked Kurt's blanket around him, just like he did when he was little, and then he opened all the drawers so the scent could spread throughout the room.

Sometimes a boy just needed his mother.