Zoro's face has gone impossibly pale, his complexion drained of color by shock and horror, but the manifestation gripping the weapon angled towards his captain doesn't budge, keeping the unwavering blade held between them.
"Roronoa, what the hell do you think you're doing?" Law barks, choosing to ignore the heavily bleeding yet largely superficial cut on Luffy's upper arm, although he keeps a respectable distance from both men. "Get your ass in that chair before you accidentally tear your own fucking gut open."
The swordsman ignores him. Doesn't, in fact, even seem to realize the surgeon exists. Despite Asura's stern immobility, he's shivering within its protective cage of arms, his trembling fingers crinkling the paperwork strewn on the desktop, and he's locked gazes with his partner, silently imploring- demanding-
"Promise me."
"If I ever..."
"... don't let me hurt anybody."
A line's been crossed. A line the first mate didn't simply draw in sand but stubbornly etched in stone, and Luffy can see the regret and growing resolve- the sense of finality in the older pirate's pleading expression.
"Promise me that you won't hold back."
His throat constricts, tightening so abruptly that it feels like someone's slipped a noose over his head and yanked him off his feet. He wants to shout denial, slam his fists into the walls until his knuckles bleed, sprint from the room, but the fear and anger and sensation of suffocation's so strong that he can't speak, can't move, can't breathe, can't do anything but stare into Zoro's face and realize that after more than eight years of witnessing the panic attacks and the nightmares, he finally truly understands.
This. This is how it feels every time he-
It's like drowning, the rubber man realizes. Sinking into the shadows, choking and reaching hopelessly- helplessly- for the receding surface as his strength fades.
Do something, the look in that single slightly widened eye is begging. Stop this before it gets any worse, and whatever it takes- whatever you need to do to keep everybody safe, just- do it. Please?
He's struggling for words to address his spouse's unspoken request, which is poised between them just as surely as the glimmering razor sharp edge of Kitetsu's blade, but before he's able to utter anything beyond a resounding "NO"-
"Roronoa Zoro? What are you-?"
Luffy feels his stomach drop out from beneath his feet. No. No no no no NO. Not now! What the hell's he doing in here, why didn't he wait out-?
Whether it's merely being addressed by his surname or hearing himself addressed as such by someone he equates, however unjustly, with another far more vindictive and presently deceased Admiral, Zoro sheds the last vestiges of hesitation and restraint and sanity like a molting reptile. His gaze hardens, Asura's already intimidating presence surges, and steel rings as Shusui rasps free from its sheath.
Realizing that his swordsman's no longer focused on him but eyeing Aokiji with a measure of hatred that promises slow dismemberment with little regard for anyone unfortunate enough to get caught between them, Luffy acts without thinking, throwing himself past the green-haired pirate's guard and coiling both arms around his torso as he roars at everyone to get out, NOW.
Nami and Usopp don't wait long enough for additional orders; the navigator drags Ace out the back door by the wrist, half blinded by Sabo's small hands slapping at her face but pushing the sniper and his whimpering armload ahead regardless. Even if the twins were napping earlier, they're definitely awake now, startled from slumber by their parent shouting.
Further maddened by what he obviously sees in his unstable state as the ultimate betrayal, Zoro reverses his blades and Kitetsu scores a second time, slicing viciously along the back of the Straw Hat captain's right thigh just below his buttocks before he gets a stray loop of arm cinched tight enough to pin the sword hand against their tangled bodies and send the blade clattering to the floor.
The swordsman thrashes, struggling to free the trapped limb and throw his unwilling assailant aside.
Somewhere behind him, Luffy can hear Jinbei's raised voice, anxiously persuading Aokiji to come back outside, but he's more concerned with the members of his crew still in the room and reluctant to exit.
"GET OUT." He backs the command with enough Haoshoku to make Sanji wince and send Chopper reeling for the nearest door, clutching his head.
Unfortunately, his attention's diverted just long enough for Zoro to strike another blow. The butt end of Shusui's handle, coated with hardening Haki, clips the rubber man's jaw forcefully enough to snap his head back, and he sprays bloody spittle when he screams at the lingering cook again. This time he's obeyed.
Zoro's been eerily silent except for his ragged breathing, although he makes a low noise of agitation when the desperate younger pirate finally secures the last of his arms- and strikes like a snake, teeth bared.
Luffy jerks his face out of biting range and regards his spouse wearily. The captain's panting, his nose and upper lip smeared red and leaking down his chin and neck. The cuts in his arm and leg are making themselves known as deep stinging aches, and he can feel the wet warmth of blood beginning to pool in his sandal.
"You realize you only beat him this easily because he's still weak from surgery." Law observes mildly. Apparently he's considered himself exempt from the order to evacuate, because although he's retreated a step or two towards the doorway, he hasn't crossed the threshold. "If you're going to kill him, you'd better do it now, because you're not going to get another chance."
"I'm not gonna kill Zoro."
"It's your funeral." The surgeon sighs. "Alright. Now that you've got him, what are you going to do with him? The second you let go, he'll go for your throat."
"I know." Luffy makes a snuffling noise, snorting his nostrils clear, and spits phlegm tinged with crimson on the floor. He resumes studying his first mate's face, searching for any sign that the older man's coming to his senses and tightening his grip like a python whenever the cluster of extra arms try to wriggle free. He's aware of Shusui dangling awkwardly from the set of fingers refusing to relax their deathlike stranglehold on the katana's hilt, and he knows Zoro's likely to simply cut him in two this time if he lets that limb escape.
Moving cautiously, he forces the swordsman backwards until they bump against the desk, then pushes the other pirate into the chair and stretches around to the back where he's well away from all three sets of teeth. It's like maneuvering a two-ton boulder; Zoro fights him every step of the way, and there's blood squelching underfoot and between his toes on his wounded side, threatening to steal his already precarious balance.
He sags to the floor behind the chair and tries to catch his breath, relying on gravity and the secure hold of repeatedly looped rubber flesh to keep his first mate seated. Thankfully it works; there's not enough leverage for Zoro to regain his feet without the use of his arms.
He leans his forehead against his forearm, wincing when he realizes it's the injured one. "Ow."
"... would you like me to retrieve your tanuki, or another member of your crew?"
"Nah, 's better if they stay out-" Luffy tenses as Zoro makes another attempt to fling himself from the seat, fails, and reluctantly settles back with a growl of irritation. "He's gonna get tired eventually, right? 'Cause he was practically falling asleep before, and he told me one time it takes a lot of energy doing this. Sometimes, 'specially if he's hurt, he just kinda passes out after."
"I'd suggest a sedative, but-" The Heart captain hesitates. "I'm not sure it'll have an effect. I don't entirely understand how this ability of his works."
"Yeah, I don't know either, but he sees you coming at him with a needle, he's gonna really freak out. Oi, can you stick your head outside and tell Aokiji I wanna talk to him but it, uh, might be a couple minutes?"
"I'm sure he already figured that out," Law responds dryly, but he disappears through the door, muttering something about errand boys that's drowned out by raised and extremely distraught voices as soon as he's spotted by the exiled crewmembers who've regrouped in the dining hall.
Left alone with his swordsman, Luffy closes his eyes and rests his head against the chair's back with a sigh, but he's forced to return to alertness a moment later when Zoro stirs, sensing an opportunity for escape.
"We're gonna figure this out," the rubber man promises, his own voice sounding strange to his ears because his throat's gone tight again. "I- I'm not really sure how, but we will. 'Cause I'm not gonna-" He can't bring himself to say it. I'm not going to kill you. "I'm not gonna lose you, not to this. Not to ANYTHING."
Although Zoro doesn't answer, his breathing changes slightly. As though he's listening.
Or maybe it's just the thing controlling him, biding its time as it speculates whether or not the captain's genuinely a threat to its host.
"Who am I talking to, anyway, when you're like this? Are you in there, hearing me but not remembering any of it later, or do you just sort of... go away?"
Still no response but quick, shallow inhalations and exhalations.
He hopes it's the latter rather than the former. Zoro usually doesn't know what's happened during his loss of control and only learns what he's done after he comes back to himself, but the idea that on some level he might be conscious of his actions yet helpless to prevent them, forced to watch from a distance as his body lashes out at people he'd rather die than hurt-
Luffy shudders, and this time when his arms tighten around the older man, it's got nothing to do with the concern that he'll wriggle loose and everything to do with simply wanting to hug him and never let go.
"If you're in there, I- I love you, okay? And so do the kids and so does everybody else too. Even Sanji, even though he kinda sucks at showing it and he'd probably hit me if he heard me saying it, but- we- I-"
He clenches his teeth, squeezing his eyes closed again to prevent tears escaping them as he buries his face against his arm despite the pain it prompts from the laceration there, angry with his inability to FIX THIS.
I hate this. I hate what they did to him- what they did to US.
He's still slouched on the floor behind the chair when Law returns, rapping his knuckles on the wall beside the doorframe to announce his presence, and if his eyes are damp and a bit bloodshot when he blinks them open to see who's entered, the surgeon pretends otherwise.
"Aokiji's right; you do attract some unlikely allies, Mugiwara-san." He brandishes several slightly crumpled and refolded sheets of paper. A letter. The broken seal's visible from where the rubber man's crouching. "I took the liberty of opening it. I'm afraid your crew's not very pleased with me, but-" He gestures towards Zoro and the chair. "You've got your hands full."
Honestly, Luffy could care less. Given what's just happened, someone opening his mail without express permission's probably the least of his problems. "What's it say?"
"I hope you don't mind if I skip the word-for-word recital. You can read the whole thing later if you want, but long story short, you've got a very grateful but anonymous-" Law flips open the letter to display the unsigned lower half of the last page. "-Marine authority falling all over himself thanking you for not killing his son." He looks up. "I'm assuming he's referring to-?"
"Gotta be one of those guys I let go..."
"Right. But listen to this; it gets better. The son's got a family of his own, and whatever he saw on your ship shook him up pretty good. He thought he was good as dead, never expected to make it home alive. Told his father that after watching you and your swordsman with each other and your kids and listening to your crewmates talking on the deck following the attack, he thinks you would've been fully justified killing every last Marine involved." The surgeon's mouth quirks slightly. "Apparently the Pirate King and World's Greatest Swordsman weren't quite what he was expecting, surprise surprise."
"..."
"Anyway, this Commodore or Rear Admiral or Vice Admiral or whatever the hell he is - somebody fairly important, and I'll bet Kuzan knows exactly who the guy is even though he's not going to tell YOU - feels like he owes you a favor for sparing his son's life. Supposedly all you need to do is send an answer back with Kuzan, and this guy will do whatever it takes to make it happen, although he pretty much says not to bother asking for amnesty because there's no way the-"
"Pictures!" Luffy blurts. "The pictures- I want the pictures!" He swallows, eyes flitting up to the swordsman who's begun to sag in his grasp, finally succumbing to his exhaustion. "The Impel Down stuff. Whatever they've got with Zoro in it- I want it to go away."
His fellow captain's silent for a long moment. "You realize this guy's put himself in a situation where you could take him for everything he's worth if he slips up and identifies himself. Because what he's doing is considered treason."
"I don't care about that. I don't want money. I want Zoro to stop having nightmares and jumping at funny noises and flinching when people touch him. I want him to stop being scared he's gonna hurt one of the kids or one of our nakama. I want-" The younger pirate takes a deep breath. "I want his fingers back. And Wado. And the way he used to smile and laugh a lot more too." There's a lump growing in his throat, and it hurts to speak past, but he won't let it stop him. "If I can't have any of that stuff, then I want this."
"What if there isn't any footage? Or the World Government's already destroyed it to support their claim they never had your first mate in custody? You'd be wasting an opportunity to-"
Luffy's shaking his head. "Don't care. That's what I want." He struggles to his feet, nearly plopping back down on his ass when his right sandal skids in the blood drying on the Adam wood planks. Zoro's slumping sideways, supported only by the arms wrapped around his torso, loosely now because Asura's extra appendages and heads have faded. The rubber man unloops himself carefully and moves around to the front, crouching between the green-haired man's knees and peering up at him. One hand gripping his swordsman's shoulder to prevent him slipping further off-center, he reaches up to gently pat his cheek. "Oi..."
Zoro blinks groggily, eye unfocused and expression confused, and then his fingers dig into the chair arms as he takes in his captain's worried- and gore-smeared- face. "Wha-? Oh, oh shit, I-"
He tries to scramble to his feet, intending to survey the full extent of the damage he's caused, but freezes when he's only partway there and then hunches over with his breath hissing between his teeth and his face contorted by pain.
"I'm fine!" Luffy insists, hastily easing him back into the seat. "And so's everybody else, so just stay there, okay?"
"N-Not- fine. You're-" Touching the younger pirate's chin with shaky fingers and grimacing at the tackiness of drying blood even as he folds an arm around his middle as though he's holding himself together. "Goddamn it, Luffy-"
"You'd better let me take a look, make sure you didn't herniate yourself," Law grumbles as he drops to a crouch beside them. "No, don't move. I promise I won't touch you until I absolutely-"
"Not- unless you look at him first."
"I said STOP MOVING," the surgeon snaps testily. "Maybe he's a little beat up, but you're in worse shape. Oi, Mugiwara, put these on. Roronoa, hold still. Don't make me call one of your crewmates back in here to hold your blasted arms behind the chair. Or Bepo, if none of them will take orders from me."
Luffy cringes involuntarily, averting his gaze from the ugly-looking laceration he's exposed by parting his swordsman's kimono and peeling back the gauze pad spanning his lower stomach, but the Heart captain doesn't flinch, leaning a bit closer to study the stitches securing its edges.
"Feels like- somebody tried to cut me in half," his patient mumbles. He closes his eye and leans his head back against the chair, taking a few slow, deep breaths through his nose before speaking again. "Sencho, you're lucky I didn't cut YOU in half."
"Not for lack of trying," Law mutters, earning himself a horrified look. "Alright, it looks like my suturing held. There's some seepage, but nothing too excessive."
"Should I, uh, clean it off or something?" The rubber man beside him asks with uncharacteristic timidity.
"Waste of time since it's going to keep bleeding on and off until the tissue starts knitting, but-" Rising to retrieve and don his own pair of gloves, Law shrugs. "You can change the bandage if you want." He spares a moment or two to show the younger pirate how to secure a new folded length of gauze with medical tape before turning his attention to his wounded arm and leg. "Be glad Roronoa keeps his blades so well honed. These should heal cleanly."
"I told you, it's OKAY," Luffy insists once more at the expression of regret and dismay on his partner's face. Following a moment or two of searching after escaping Law's care, he locates a pitcher of water on a shelf near the infirmary bed and splashes some on his face, pulling off his shirt and using it to scrub his nose, chin and neck clean. "Man, I hope Chopper's not gonna be mad about the floor..."
"What the hell'd I do, besides hack at you like a side of beef?" Zoro asks tiredly. "Punch you in the face?"
"You smacked me before, lots of times, 'specially when we're sparring and stuff," the Straw Hat captain reminds him, reluctant to inform him that Haki had amplified the impact on this particular occasion. "It's not that big a deal. Remember that time Sanji accidentally kicked me in the- oi oi, don't- I'm okay, really!"
The first mate's leaned forward to rest his elbows on his thighs and press his face into his hands. "I feel like I'm gonna puke."
"You wanna lay down?" Abandoning his damp, blood-stained shirt, Luffy reaches out to rub the back of his swordsman's neck. "Maybe you'll feel better if you take a nap. I can watch the peas for a while if you wanna-" He leans closer, frowning, as Zoro mumbles something he can't quite make out. "Eh?"
"I don't know if I can do this anymore." The other man's voice is quiet- and sounds more exhausted and defeated than Luffy's ever heard it.
"You don't gotta do anything," he says uneasily, fingers stilling on Zoro's neck. "Except sleep and eat and get better."
His words prompt short, strangled laughter that hurts his ears- and heart- to hear.
"Dunno if you noticed, but I'm not. Getting better."
Law takes one hard look at them both and excuses himself from the room, although neither of them acknowledge his exit because they're too busy staring at each other.
"Every time this shit happens, I'm scared I'm gonna wake up and find out I killed somebody. It's like- that- thing-" Another sharp sound of amusement, brittle and ugly. "It just fucking takes over and does whatever the hell it wants, and it doesn't- it can't tell the difference between enemies and-"
"Zoro-"
"Goddamn it, Luffy, what if I end up killing somebody? You, one of the kids?"
"You wouldn't." Although he's remembering Ace, fighting Nami's iron grip, and if he's brutally honest with himself, he doesn't know what might've happened if the eight-year-old had managed to yank himself free and gone running to Zoro's side. If Asura'd reacted to the child's approach as a threat to be neutralized…
"I'm not-" The swordsman's voice breaks, and he swipes angrily at his face, biting back a curse when the unthinking gesture tugs severed muscle. "It's not safe. The crew, you, the kids- none of you are safe with me here."
"You're not leaving," Luffy responds immediately. "You can't- I won't let you."
"And you're not gonna kill me either, are you. Even if I completely lose my shit."
The captain crosses his arms.
"Fuck." Closing his eye again, Zoro slouches backwards on the chair.
"Oi, I told you. I wanna spend the rest of my life with you. I dunno how long that's gonna be, but I don't care- I'm not giving up just 'cause stuff's hard or scary." He brushes his first mate's temple, caressing it with his thumb as he combs his fingers into the spiky green hair, and he's pleased when the older pirate leans into his touch. "We've done all kinds of things people said we couldn't, that we never woulda done if we were too scared to try."
"Mmm."
"What about Sky Island, huh? We never woulda found it if we listened to all those people saying it wasn't there, right?"
"Yeah, but- I think this is a little different from ignoring a bunch of assholes in a bar." His swordsman sighs. "Luffy, we can't keep living like this, being afraid I'm gonna start swinging a katana at somebody 'cause they SNEEZED when I wasn't expecting it." He taps his fist against the chair arm, frustration clear on his face. "When I went after my swords, I wasn't even thinking about fighting. I just- I wanted- I NEEDED one of them in my hand, but then everybody started freaking out and I'm so damn tired I can barely think straight, so when Chopper and the cook grabbed me, I just-"
"You got scared and Asura came out." He keeps stroking Zoro's scalp, drawing comfort from the ongoing physical contact, although his mind's racing.
"He was right."
"Huh?"
"Mihawk. If I don't figure this out- stop being so fucking afraid that I'm gonna lose my shit and accidentally summon Asura-" He grimaces, rubbing the bridge of his nose. "Every time it actually happens, it just makes it worse next time."
Luffy pauses. "What if... what if Zoro did it on purpose?"
"Did what on purpose?"
"Asura. What if you made it come out on purpose, when you wanted it to come out?"
"Are you bat-shit? I DON'T want-!"
"No, listen," the younger man insists excitedly, realization dawning. "You wanted it to come out when we went overboard and I couldn't get us back on the ship, right? So you could get us back to the deck?"
"I didn't fucking WANT to use it, but I didn't have much of a-"
"Yeah, but-" He takes a deep breath, trying to collect his scattered thoughts into a coherent statement. "You didn't get all crazy, right? Sanji said you kinda spaced out a little while you were fighting, but you knew who Ace was and you didn't hurt anybody but the Marines, and they attacked us first so they don't count."
"I guess," Zoro mutters dubiously.
"So maybe you just gotta keep doing it 'til you get used to it again."
The skeptical expression on his first mate's face makes what he thinks of this idea quite obvious, but before he can start listing the hundred and one reasons why summoning Asura deliberately can only end in tears, there's a light knock on the doorframe, and the older pirate makes a startled noise, hands tightening on the chair's arms so violently that they creak protest.
"My apologies in advance for the interruption," Aokiji offers, inclining his head slightly. "Unfortunately, I'm a bit short on time." He pauses, noting Zoro's white-knuckled grip and his displeased scowl. "Also, my apologies for disturbing your rest, Roronoa; it's been brought to my attention that my arrival was rather... inopportune. I assure you, I'll be taking my leave shortly, as soon as your captain verifies what Trafalgar Law just told me."
"The thing about the guy and the favor and Impel Down?" Luffy asks. "Yeah, that's what I want."
The swordsman beside him twitches at the mention of the prison but doesn't take his eye off their visitor. One bare foot shifts beneath the handle of the katana lying closest to the chair, ready to flip the weapon into his grasp at the first sign of trouble.
Luffy gives him a reassuring pat on the shoulder - a subtle hint to relax or at least stand down - but Aokiji doesn't seem offended.
"The gentleman in question certainly has his own resources, but if he encounters any resistance-" The former Admiral shrugs. "I've a few strings I can pull as well."
"You're gonna help?"
For a moment, the tall man doesn't answer. When he finally speaks, his voice is low and cautious. "... I never agreed with the Gorosei's orders. I told Sakazuki and Borsalino they'd eventually regret their involvement, and I was right."
"I was protecting my family," Luffy says, and further explanation's not necessary, because his tone speaks volumes about the losses he's suffered thanks to the World Government and the aforementioned men. His brother, rescued from execution only to die horribly at Akainu's hands. His swordsman and their unborn son, abducted and imprisoned simply for the sake of an unsuccessful and largely useless plot to snare an elusive rebel and his army.
"I think it's become quite clear that interfering with your family's ill advised."
"Doesn't stop the bastards from trying," Zoro retorts angrily. "Chasing us all over the fucking place, attacking us when we're minding our own goddamn business. Attacking us when we've got KIDS onboard."
"Regardless of their ages, your children are still considered pirates. This is something you already know."
The first mate's hands release the chair arms and ball into fists against them, but he doesn't dispute Aokiji's surprisingly gentle admonishment, because it's true.
The former Marine turns back to Luffy. "I'll do what I can. If there's documentation or footage of Roronoa still in the archives, it'll be destroyed."
"Okay, good."
"Wha-" Zoro's looking back and forth between them, confused and slightly alarmed. "What are you guys talking about? Luffy- you didn't agree to some weird deal, did you, just to-?"
"Zoro didn't hear me and Law talking 'cause he was still pretty out of it, but this guy's gonna do us a favor 'cause we let his kid go."
"Let his-" The green-haired man blinks as he connects the pieces. "You mean one of those guys you kicked off the ship in Usopp's dopey banana boats?"
"Yeah. His dad's all happy he made it home okay."
"So he's doing us a favor? Sencho, that's-" Giving his face a nervous rub with one hand. "Isn't there anything else you wanted to ask for? I mean, you don't have to waste it on- ... they're just... they're just pictures. They might not even be anything worth-"
"Nope. That's what I want." The captain insists stubbornly. "No matter what's in 'em, they're not JUST pictures. Not to Zoro,. And not to me. So, yeah, it's worth it, and I'm not wasting anything." He glances back to Aokiji. "Do I gotta write a letter? For you to take back to this guy?"
"It's better that you don't. I'll speak to him directly and inform him of your-" The former Admiral stops, looking down to where a small, impatient child's pushing through his long legs, using him as an impromptu bridge under which to crawl. "Ah. Hello."
"SABO," someone in the other room calls. Sanji, from the sound of it. "What the HELL do you think you're DOING?"
The toddler turns back long enough to utter an exasperated "Go ah Daddy!" at the unseen speaker and then finishes shoving his way past Aokiji. Whereupon he scrambles to his feet and heads straight for Zoro, wrapping both arms around his swordsman father's nearest leg and hugging it tightly.
"Oi oi, careful where you're stepping, kiddo," the older pirate scolds as he swivels the chair to steer his son away from the blood smears and unsheathed katana on the floor. "We don't want those little feet missing any toes."
He looks up then, flushing, as he remembers he's got an audience. Beside him, Luffy's beaming as he stoops to gather the discarded weapons and very cautiously, very carefully wipe them on his ruined shirt before returning them to their sheaths and propping them back against the wall beside the third undisturbed member of their trio.
"How old's this one? Sabo, I believe your crewmate called him?"
"Gonna be two in like a month," the first mate answers gruffly, his face burning.
Aokiji raises an eyebrow. "I imagine you're going to have your hands full, with a two-year-old and-"
"You should leave. Chopper-aniki says Dad needs a nap," insists the stern-faced eight-year-old who's just poked him in the hip. "He was really tired BEFORE the peas got here, and now they're here and he still got barely any sleep and YOU freaked him out and made him do the thing with all the extra heads and arms, so now he's gotta be really REALLY tired." Without waiting for a response, he joins his younger brother at Zoro's side. "Oi, leave Dad alone! He doesn't want you in his lap right now; he's got stitches 'cause Law-san hadda cut him to get the peas out!"
"We've already got our hands full." Zoro mutters, trying to fend off the uplifted arms Sabo's waving at him for fear of getting accidentally clobbered in the stomach. "Twin newborns are just icing on the damn cake."
As though in response to his dry remark, there's a sudden burst of high-pitched crying from the dining hall, followed by Usopp's semi-hysterical demand for someone to "take this baby before I accidentally drop him, oh god!"
"Is he hungry again? I bet he's hungry! I TOLD Law-san that wasn't enough food but he didn't believe me!"
"Daddy uhp," Sabo chirps again.
"Oi, I told you to leave Dad alone!"
"I'm gonna, uh, go get that. I mean him. Them." Luffy stammers, nervously patting his exasperated-looking swordsman and indicating the yowling baby in the room beyond. "Before the other one starts-"
"... shit. Too late."
"Oh crap. Ahaha, they've really loud, aren't they?" The rubber man ducks to kiss the other pirate's scowling mouth, grinning weakly. "Be right back. I love you!"
Sputtering furiously, his face glowing at the blatant display of affection in front of their former-enemy-turned-tentative-ally, Zoro swats him away. "Yeah yeah yeah, just- go do something before Usopp has a freaking heart attack." He sags back in his seat, mumbling to himself as his spouse dashes for the doorway. "Let's have another baby, Zoro. It'll be so much fun, Zoro. I really really love you, Zoro. God, you're such a manipulative bastard."
Ace is staring after his dark-haired father's retreating back, visibly wincing at the noise produced by two hours-old babies yowling like agitated alley cats and the handful of panic-stricken nakama attempting to calm them. "Wow, you guys are never gonna get any sleep…"
"Keep being a smart-ass and you're moving back in with us." Grimacing, the first mate splays a hand over his eyes as he listens to the cacophony outside. "Or maybe I'm just gonna move into the fucking crow's nest and sleep up there."
"Fuh."
"Sabo, NO."
"Fuh fuh fuh fuuuh~"
"SABO."
"F-"
"Kid, I swear, if you finish that and Nami hears you and charges me another five-hundred beli, I'm gonna give you to the shitty cook and tell him to dice you into little pieces and bake you in a goddamn meat pie. You wanna be a pie?"
"-uh," Sabo finishes, and without skipping a beat. "Foo? Eat! Go eat!"
Ace snickers.
"…"
One corner of Aokiji's mouth twitches into a barely perceptible smile.
"Oi oi oi, and what the hell do you think YOU'RE laughing at?"
xxx
Author's note: I've been having a lot of trouble sleeping, so I was poking at fic and writing a few more paragraphs every time I woke up, and next think I knew, I had an entire freaking chapter. And it's been a rather wild ride, but it looks like we're almost at the end of our journey here...
I guess credit for the pie thing goes to tazer anon; thanks for the inspiration, lmao.
PS: My husband almost cried reading this chapter.