"Paralyzer" by Finger Eleven would be our first song. I silently counted us off, making eye contact with Nick to let him know to follow my lead. He looked back to the drummer, the person who would start the dog and gave him the silent command to start. So he did. And when the beat started, I let go, playing the guitar in the same way my brother had told me to years ago: passionately with purpose. When the intro began to fade into the first verse, I knew I was home.
I hold on so nervously
To me and my drink
I wish it was cooling me
But so far has not been good
It's been shitty
And I feel awkward as I should
My fingers moved effortlessly around the neck of my guitar. I didn't have to think too hard about playing, it came naturally.
This club has got to be
The most pretentious thing
Since I thought you and me
My eyes drifted across the crowd, not falling on anyone in particular until they reached Negan. I could see the sense of awe in his eyes at my performance.
Well, I am imagining
A dark lit place
Or your place or my place
Well, I'm not paralyzed
But, I seem to be struck by you
I wanna make you move
Because you're standing still
If your body matches
What your eyes can do
You'll probably move right through
Me on my way to you
I hold out for one more drink
Before I think
I'm looking too desperately
But so far has not been fun
I should just stay home
If one thing really means one
This club will hopefully
Be closed in three weeks
That would be cool with me
Well, I'm still imagining
A dark lit place
Or your place or my place…
As the chorus and instrumental break passed, I found Negan again and gave him a trademark smirk of my own, deciding in the moment to maintain eye contact as I sang.
Well, I'm not paralyzed
But, I seem to be struck by you
I wanna make you move
Because you're standing still
If your body matches
What your eyes can do
You'll probably move right through
Me on my way to you
Well, I'm not paralyzed
But, I seem to be struck by you
I wanna make you move
Because you're standing still
If your body matches
What your eyes can do
You'll probably move right through
Me on my way to you
You'll probably move right through
Me on my way to you
You'll probably move right through
Me on my way to you
I could feel the roar of the crowd igniting my soul, but tonight it was burning a little brighter for someone else.
We continued on, playing songs I had loved for years, songs that made me feel alive. The crowd was having a good time, dancing cheering for us, but I was completely focused on one person. Negan's expressions and wolf whistles spurred me on, encouraging me to not only sing, but to have fun with it. And I was. As the songs changed, I found myself maintaining consistent eye contact with him, giving him sensual smirks that were reserved only for him. I was flirting in the way I knew best, to the beat of the music and using my voice and body as instruments to lure Negan in. And it was affecting him and me as well. The stage lights were mediocre compared to Negan's smoldering gaze.
It was all coming to an end, my return to the stage. But there was still one more song to go.