Disclaimer: Not to state the obvious, but, no, I do not own the Princess Diaries (book or film), it's characters, or anything in related to it except for my two DVDs. I make no profit from this stories. I am merely borrowing these characters for a little bit of fun.
A/N: Hey! So, I intended to post a new chapter this weekend, but, alas, someone decided to steal the internet and TV cables that bring internet into the city so there was no internet this weekend. Luckily, they fixed the problem last night and so here is the new chapter (posted just before leaving for my first class of the year). I hope you enjoy it and thank you all for your lovely reviews!
Enjoy, and please review:
As Clarisse made her way out of the palace, towards the stables, the one place where she knew she could always have time to herself, she felt a tear slip out of her eye.
"We have to do something!" Pierre said, his face turning serious the moment his mother had left and closed the door behind her.
"Agreed!" Mia held her hand up as Nicholas nodded and Charlotte stood in the background, unsure whether or not she was meant to be there.
"Charlotte?" Pierre asked noticing her discomfort, "have a seat ..." he motioned to the chairs near the couch, "we have a plan to work out!" he added with a mischievous smile to his niece
"Project get-Joe-and-Grandma-back-together!" she exclaimed
Smiling sadly, Nicholas nodded, but spoke, "I'm with you, I really am ... but I don't think there is much we can do ..." he looked at his wife's sad face, "I mean, it has to come from them ..."
Nodding, Charlotte spoke up, "I have to agree ... what can we do?"
Taking a seat on the very couch on which, 43 years ago, Joseph had placed her after the incident at the parade, Clarisse closed her eyes as she remembered the intensity of his gaze as he'd inspected her wounds and felt a shiver course through her body as she recalled the look of desire in his eyes.
Was it possible that she'd never get to experience that again? That she'd never have him at her side again, never have him to share her problems with and never have him to comfort her and make her forget whatever issue was plaguing her?
"Oh, Joseph ..." she whispered in a sob as she looked around the room.
Suddenly the small stable felt too silent, too cold. Standing, she walked around, her hands falling on a CD player Mia had had installed her first summer at the palace, claiming a little music always helped her relax after a long ride.
Finding the button with the sideways triangle on it, Clarisse pressed it, not knowing what music would fill the room, and not really caring. She just didn't want the unsettling quiet to continue.
"Whatever we do, it'll have to be after Joe gets back to active duty ..." Mia sighed as she realized all their plans were falling through. "All the ideas we've had so far, barring locking them in a room until they work it out, require him as her acting bodyguard, and that won't happen again until he's back on his feet!"
"There is always Charlotte's idea," Pierre said
"Yes," Nicholas nodded, "but he'd have to agree to the invitation to spend a week at the winter palace with the rest of us, and something tells me that won't happen if he knows Her Majesty will be there ..."
All alone, I didn't like the feeling
All alone I, sat and cried,
All alone, I had to find some meaning
In the centre of the pain I felt inside
As the song began to play, Clarisse realized this had to be a CD Mia left in the stable from before her marriage to Nicholas. Realizing this, she sighed as it dawned on her that all the songs in it would, most likely, be miserable.
Sitting back on the couch, her head fell to her hand as she realized she didn't much care. Somehow, the sad tune floating through the stable made her feel a little more comfortable, like she wasn't alone in her sadness.
All alone, I came into this world
All alone, I will someday die,
Solid stone, is just
Sand and Water, baby
Sand and Water,
And a million years gone by
Being a lover of classical music, Clarisse had no idea what she was listening to, nor did she know where Mia had found such a depressing song. But the truth was, she could relate. Regardless of everything, regardless of her family, both as a child and now, regardless of the nannies and lady's maids and the countless employees, she'd always felt alone.
She was Queen, Clarisse Renaldi, and that was all people saw. Even Mia, even her own son, saw her first and foremost as a Queen, she saw it in their eyes as they became terrified by the emotions she displayed.
And now, without him, she was sure she'd be back in the dark place where she'd spent her childhood and adolescence, where she'd lived all those years where she could do nothing but love him from a distance. Alone.
All alone, I heal this heart of sorrow
All alone, I raise this child,
Flesh and bone, he's just
Bursting towards tomorrow
And his laugher, fills by world,
And wears your smile
Clarisse felt a tear escape her blue eyes. How it had hurt her all her life, to look at her ever-happy son, at Pierre's beautiful smile and joyful eyes, so much like his fathers. How it had pained her to see the man she loved reflected in her child and never be able to acknowledge it.
Thankful when the song changed, Clarisse hoped for something a little less relatable. However, it appeared Mia's taste in music wasn't about to collaborate.
Changing her mind, deciding that depressing music would not be the cure to her misery, Clarisse stood and turned off the stereo.
Both hands on the table, she hung her head over the now silent machine.
Going for a ride might help clear her head – it always did. But she knew she shouldn't go off without security, and asking any of her loyal security staff to come down would only increase the pain; would only make it more obvious that he wasn't there.
This was torture.
Wherever she went, she'd be reminded of him. He had, after all, protected her and been at her side in essentially every corner of the palace and estate. Everyone in the palace was loyal to the both of them. Everyone seemed to be conflicted by this fact.
She couldn't handle it.
She was stuck.
And queens, well, they weren't ever supposed to be stuck.
TBC
I hope you enjoyed that! Please let me know what you thought, reviews will certainly help after this first day of classes! I will post more ASAP.
Thanks,
CJS-DEPPendent