This is loooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooong overdue. oi. Working takes up way to much of my time and if it isn't that I am distracted by other things.
Not to mention honestly, writers block has gotten to me in general with this story. I've been shuffling around ideas for this story for a while now but i'm not sure how to proceed with it. I have one idea that I MIGHT be able to roll with, but it not going well in terms of planning. I was originally going to go in a different direction but thinking about it it wasn't going to work, hence why this story has been on a rough hiatus.
That being said its likely to be on a hiatus anyway because of one of my other stories reaching its climax so i would like to finish that first
The next morning, Thea was the first to wake up, rather early for a Saturday, not that she was complaining because it was indeed a Saturday so how could she complain? Though she was mildly confused for when she opened her eyes it was not to the off white walls of her bedroom sealing. It was indeed white but it was a purer white.
Mildly confused, Thea sat up in her bed and took a look around the room. Instead of it being her room, filled with all the decorations and trinkets that she had, whether it be from the few belongings she had gathered over the years, or some objects that she and Brie had gotten during the occasional shopping trips they took when she first arrived, she was in a room that only looked vaguely familiar. Mainly because it was the room that she found herself being tucked into by her mother the night before.
Thea blushed remembering the previous night. After a pillow fight with her parents she began feeling tired from the long day she spent with them, and the last thing she remembered happening was her father carrying her to his bedroom while she dozed off in his arms, and placed her in his bed. The next thing she remembered was her mother tucking her in and placing a kiss on her forehead. After that she must have went off to dreamland.
Despite herself, Thea was smiling, because in all of her life she never felt more at home more than she did now. Which wasn't saying much because she never HAD a home, but the fact she felt WANTED was enough to make her feel like she was on top of the world and nothing could ever bring her down.
Then her stomach rumbled and she suddenly realized how hungry she was. Ok maybe that was the one thing that could bring her down. laughing to herself, Thea threw off her covers and walked out of the room.
The living room was left exactly as she remembered it, with the pillows scattered all over the floor and overall looked like someone had fun. The only thing that looked different was a blanket the was over the couch, where at least one of her parents must have slept. Ignoring that, she continued to walk through the apartment until she made her way to the kitchen where she was forever scarred by the sight no child ever wanted to see when it came to their parents. It would haunt her for the rest of her days and she would require therapy for years
Erin and Alex were laughing, both of them covered in flour, likely from the bag sitting on the counter. It seemed that they had been cooking all morning and someone decided to have a flour fight. It was a wonder that Thea hadn't been woken up by the said fight. A nice tall stack of pancakes were sitting on the table, which did nothing to help curb Thea's hunger. She was just to in shock to see her parents so carefree this early in the morning. It honestly melted her heart to see that Alex and Erin were happy. That she was making them happy.
Despite herself, she felt hope rise within her heart. Hope that she could continue to live days like this with her family.
Knocking on the wall, Thea let out a small tired "morning".
Erin and Alex stopped laughing, surprised by the sudden voice, and looked towards the door, surprised to see Thea in her pajamas, with a tired look on her face but still just as happy and vibrant as the night before. Erin couldn't help but gush at how adorable Thea looked in the orning, not unlike how she used to when she was that age. It almost made her feel like she had been raising Thea her whole life at this moment. "Good morning Thea!" she replied, placing the towel she had used to clean up her hands on the counter before going to Thea and enveloping her in a small hug, conscious of the flour all over her own Pj's however it disnt seem that thea cared for she reciprocated the hug instantly, almost crying. It had only been a few days since she learned the truth about her parentage, and even though she had been upset at the fact Erin had lied to her, the fact Thea felt wanted still left her feeling breathless with wonder
Thea then released her mother before looking over and sprinting to her father, hugging him in the same manner. Alex chuckled, before returning the hug, then lightly ruffled Thea's already messy bed head "morning sunshine" he teased, before gently planting a kiss on Thea's head. He young girl blushed, before backing away from Alex then looked at the table, noticing that there was already a stack of pancakes with three plates on the table. Remembering her stomach growling a few minutes ago and proceeded to bolt to the table and sat down, and was about to dig in before a cough stopped her. Blushing slightly, she turned to see her parents gazing at her with knowing looks. "that hungry, huh Thea?" Alex asked, as he and Erin made there way to the table,
Erin couldn't help but laugh as she sat down next to Thea while Alex sat on the other side of Thea. "I seem to recall a certain someone acting that way when he was younger" she giggled as she reached for the spatula on the table. "Ale gave her a mock glare placing his hand on his heart before sighing dramatically "why Erin, you wound me so" he muttered before giving her a sly gin "then again I recal that you couldn't get enough of my cooking, like the other day." he chuckled "you ate half your pancake in less than a minute. So don't presume your daughters appetite only comes from me."
Erin laughed before nodding in agreement. She gently lifted a couple of pancakes using the spatula while grabbing Thea's plate and slipping them on the plate " first serving Thea?" she asked, as she placed the delicious looking breakfast in front of the young girl.
Thea had to purse her lips shut to prevent her mouth from watering, as she stared at the pancake on her plate just ready to be devoured.. As she did though, a thought raced through her mind, one that had been on her mind since he found out about her true parentage and her smile slipped slightly.
This did not go unnoticed by Erin, who immediately noticed the change in thea's mood and she placed a hand on the young girls shoulder "honey, what's wrong?" she asked tenderly, hoping not to push the young girl too hard.
Thea bit her lips feeling a bit nervous, but regardless this was something she had to do. Even if she wasn't a mistake, she still needed to know what had happened and why Erin had given her up from her point of view "Erin" her voice came out small and weak, likely from the nervousness settling in her stomach "Why did you give me up?" she asked between small gasps as a sob started to work its way up her throat
The mood in the room immediately darkened as any sense of joy in the breakfast was immediately swept away. Erin and Alex briefly glanced at one another, surprised by the question though both of them knew that they really shouldn't have been. Every child who was given up for adoption wanted to find their birth parents. It was just a surprise that Thea had asked about it so soon, given that last night they were all having fun, albeit with the slight tension they had expected from the situation they had put themselves in.
Erin bit her lip not sure how to start. Well she knew how to start she just wasn't sure how she was going to be able to tell Thea about it without scaring her any more than she already had. Taking a deep breath. Erin began telling the tale from the beginning.
"Your Father and I"… she trailed off, licking her suddenly dry lips "we met when we were about your age, in our freshman year of high school. Neither one of us….." she trailed off again. She dint want to lie to Thea, but she couldn't help but wonder if this was a burden she should have regardless of her inherent uriousity
Seeing the strain the tale was putting on Erin, Alex intervened "what your mother means Thea, is that we weren't the best of teenagers I more ways then one." He clenched his teeth "I had no excuse. I was just a dumb kid looking for a high to chase. It wasn't until I joined the military that I found peace within my self. As for your mother." He topped looking at Erin. This was something that she should talk about.
Erin gave a long sigh before continuing " I wish I could say that I had a mother Thea, but I dint. Your Grandmother was a very complicated Woman. She wasn't what you would call a fit parent and because of that I suffered too. When I became pregnant with you, I wasn't living with her at the time but what I did know was that if she knew about you…. I couldn't forgive myself if I let her take you away from me." She winced, realizing how that must have sounded to Thea.
Thea's head snapped up to look at her mother, disbelief flashing through her eyes "then why didn't you give me to my father?" she asked feeling hurt at her mother words.
"I didn't know" Alex said quickly "your mother and I lost touch not long too long after I left to go in the army. She never got the chance to tell me the truth." Despite his soft tone there was some anger in it, not that Erin could blame him. She had so many chances, but she ley her anger cloud her judgment because she felt he was abandoning her just like that.
Erin nodded "I was your age when you were born " she continued "I wanted to keep you so much, but I couldn't risk having you grow up in a life where you weren't going to be happy. So I have you up to give you the best chance you could have." Erin felt her heart clench at her own words, the repressed thoughts and feels tearing at her subconscious as she spoke. "Thea if I could go back and do it all over again, I would have, but I did what I did because all I could think about was giving you your best chance to have a happy life."
Thea sat there listening to her parents every word. She could feel that they were telling the truth. That they did indeed loved her and didn't want to suffer with them, should they have not been prepared for her, which to be honest, they weren't. But it still hurt, considering Thea had not had the happy life Erin had envisioned for her, for Alex he at the very least didn't know that she existed, and she couldn't really blame Erin for the circumstances of her adoption, but the fact that she was left behind and forgotten about hurt
Suddenly not feeling hungry, Thea pushed her chair back and stood p, before quietly walking out of the room to gather her things and return home
Erin and Alex glanced at each other a bit at a loss for words. What else could be said right now? they knew that Thea wasn't going to like their explanation, but it wasn't like they really could hide it from her forever. It wouldn't have been fair to do that nor would it have been fair to lie to her about the events of her adoption either. Even so Thea would have been able to figure out any lie pretty easily; She must have come to the conclusion that she was the product of a teenage pregnancy by the fact Erin was not that much older than her to begin with. Hell, one could argue that they almost looked like sisters.
Erin bit her lip standing up. She gripped her hair and gently tugged , feeling slightly overwhelmed by the talk "oh Alex what are we going to do?" she whimpered. Erin groaned, turning away from Alex so that he could see her tears. she loved her daughter, but shouldn't help but feel that all she was doing was hurting her.
"Hey," Alex whispered gently, getting up and wrapping his arms around Erin and drawing her into a hug. Erin shook gently in his hold; she was trying to keep from breaking down completely.
"Erin," Alex began gently "Thea is a strong girl. She knows that what you did was for her benefit. You said it yourself; you wanted to give her the best chance you could. Even if you had told me, she would have struggled to live a happy childhood. Bunny certainly wouldn't have helped as you and I both know. She can't blame you for that."
Erin nodded glumly "I know" she told him gently grabbing his hand rubbing circles with her thumb "but she did struggle. She was bounced from foster home to foster home and she is ill. I don't know what we should do to help her. I want to be a part of her life; for us to be a part of her life. But I don't want to hurt her anymore than I already have."
Alex sighed. Erin was being her usual self again. just a few days ago she was willing to go to court to gain custody of Thea and pull her out of the foster care system for good. Now she was worried that if she did she would only put more stress on Thea.
For a woman who didn't have the best example, she was certainly being a good mother.
Alex smiled gently tightening his hold on Erin "I know. But the first step in this journey Erin, is to be there for her now. one day, she will be able to look back on this, and know despite the hard ships we all went through, it made her who she is. It also means she will be able to look back and realize that despite the fact you let her go, fate brought her back t us. We may not be the perfect family she needs. But we are what she deserves." He said tenderly.
Erin's breath hitched. Damn him. Damn him and his ability to be able to say the right thing at the right time to make her feel better "oh Alex." she whispered.
However before she could continue, her phone suddenly began to buzz violently from where she left it in the living room. Disengaging herself from Alex's touch, she left the room and grabbed her phone. Looking at the caller ID he saw that it was Voight. She quickly answered, Pressing the accept call button. "Hank?" she asked she wasn't working at the squad anymore so why would Voight be calling her now?
"Erin" To her surprise, Voight sounded broken, like he was about to give her news that she really didn't want to hear. "We need you to come in. Bring Alex and Thea with you."
Sorry! Like I said there will be a bit of a hiatus because I am almost finished with another story. once I finish that I will return to this story. But you are more than welcome to throw in possible story ideas the I might be able to meld in with what i have in mind. It would be a great help!