Chapter 25

To clarify one thing, I realised I did not explain this; 'Temet Amare' means 'Love Yourself'. Temet - 'thy' 'you' 'own self' and Amare - 'Love'. It's Latin. Gabriel had that inscription engraved on the plaque to give it to Balthazar as a birthday present so it reminds him of that and also to cover his wrist where the scar is.

WARNING: angst and fluffiness at the end, hopefully I did good…

There is a link to an photo on my profile of how I imagine Ian looks like, go see if you'd like :D

…~*~…

As my brokenness and your strength collide,

When your love comes down,

Falling Down.

As I grow cold.

…

Will you be there?

My heart grows cold.

Will you be there when I'm falling down?

~Will You Be There by Skillet

Where were you

When everything was falling apart?

…

Lost and insecure

You found me, you found me

Lyin' on the floor

~You Found Me by The Fray

"Hey, it's okay. You're okay now." Gabriel wrapped his arms around Balthazar thinking the shock the boy must be going through at the moment and the older boy was much thankful for the gesture. He felt Balthazar tense for a moment before relaxing into his arms, he could sense the shiver of his body was not simply from the cold but of fear, of a catastrophe inside himself; he understood quite well his silence and he could read the thoughts going through his mind seeing the pupils shrink into a small dot in those ice-blue orbs.

"I know what you're thinking." he spoke in a weak tone that broke the boy's heart and he convinced himself that the tremble of his body was caused by the cold. "You are wrong."

"Why?" Balthazar spoke as he held on tightly to Gabriel.

"I wouldn't let you, I would never let you, you hear me?" the older boy could feel the hot tears about to break like a dam from his eyes.

"It is rather selfish, don't you think? Try to take my life when others want me alive, but it is also selfish of them for keeping me here against my will. My father… he doesn't care, why do you care, Gabriel?"

"Because you are my own blood and I love you, I care because I understand what it's like not knowing what having a normal family or parents is, I care because you are a wonderful person, even if you are broken. I know you hate yourself, I know that you feel like giving up, Balthazar, I can see the look of despair and defeat in your eyes when you think no one can, I've seen the pain inside." he tightened his hold on the older boy, "and I could not live with myself if I let you go. I couldn't." the heat of his body transferred into the shivering boy's as he held him tightly, so tight it hurt his muscles though he ignored it, he felt the warmth of the salty droplets falling on his shoulder and he closed his eyes allowing himself to cry. "I won't let you go, never."

"Please stop, Gabriel. I can't do this." he spoke softly, the feel in his heart as though a spike had pierced it and it bled uncontrollably, it felt too powerful, too physical that he wished to cease. He could not stop the tears from falling down, Gabriel was truly the only one who had ever seen him in this broken state, the weariness he felt with his façade of a perfect being pretending to be utterly confident, to love himself more than anything when all he ever desired was to damage his face, set his body on flames until he was no longer alive.

…~*~…

He sat on the grass under a Maple tree as he looked up at the different hues of red, orange, yellow and brown composing a breathtaking creation, the sunlight hit from one side of the sky as it set painting the grass yellow and making a shadow that embraced him. A cool breeze caressed his face, he closed his eyes feeling the temperature of his cheeks lower; it was palliative as he drew his legs closer to his chest forgetting the sketchbook and pencils resting beside him. The sound of footsteps drag along the pavement aroused his curiosity making his eyelids open slowly, a blond boy about his age slowly walked with his hands in his pockets, his clothes were drenched and his cheeks were rosy. There was certain familiarity of the being a few yards ahead of him, he saw as the blond sat on a bench close, one leg against his chest and he rested his head on his knee; he suddenly remembered where he had seen those blue eyes and those pink lips. A sudden gloom crossed him seeing those beautiful features reflecting sadness, those lips he remembered were not curling into a confident smile, those ice-blue eyes were not the happy ones he'd seen and it bewildered him how seeing this stranger so broken hurt him.

His sketchbook was once again forgotten as he stood up taking off his oversized sweater making his way towards the familiar stranger and he slightly shivered at the sudden loss of warmth on his torso though he wore layers of clothing. The blond was pensive for he did not hear him approaching, he put the sleeves of his oversized sweater over the boy's shoulder and proceeded to sit on the other side of the bench. Balthazar looked up to find a pair of brown eyes fixed on him, he suddenly felt pathetic sitting alone with tears streaming down to his chin and he instantly rose that wall over himself swallowing the bitter tears even though his being was on the verge of breaking once again. There was silence and the younger boy expected Ian to make a remark about his not overconfident persona. The brunette shifted his gaze from him upon the sky and a smile formed on his lips.

"It's beautiful," he spoke, "The sky, its colours; the dark blue fading to a lighter hue, the red colour from the horizon fading to orange to yellow and taints the pureness of the blue. But it is one beautiful painting despite the mess of colours. You can close your eyes knowing it's up there, it's a wonderful thing." his eyes moved from the sky above upon Balthazar with a soft smile still on his lips. "Don't you think?"

"The sky is just the sky to me. Night comes and it's just a mass of darkness, there is nothing beautiful about that."

"You forget the stars, they are all different, some shine brighter than others but in unison they create a beautiful sight." Balthazar sighed deeply desperately trying to control the tears building in his eyes for he knew what the boy had meant in his words.

"How can you see simple things as beautiful?" his voice trembled as he spoke yet he managed to keep the tears inside.

"They aren't just simple, every creation holds so much beauty even if others can't see it." he moved closer to Balthazar and the boy kept his gaze on the ground. "You're shivering, put it on." Balthazar finally noticed the oversized sweater hanging from his shoulders and he looked at Ian in confusion. "Need help?" he smiled and Balthazar laughed.

"I can do it." he smiled as he lifted up his damped shirt over his head, he shivered feeling the cool wind around his torso. It was wonderfully soft on his body, the scent of Old Spice, a hint of coffee and vanilla tickled his nose forming a smile on his lips, he wrapped his arms around himself enjoying the feel such simple thing gave him.

"It looks better on you than it does on me," Ian said grinning.

"Thanks, but I think it looks better on you." he smiled and sat close to the older boy staying silent for a moment. "Why do I feel like I've known you for a long time?" he kept his eyes on the ground missing the smile Ian gave him.

"Perhaps you met me in your past life." Balthazar looked up at him confused, "It is impossible to remember unless you fell in love with a person, you will find them in your next life." Balthazar smiled at this.

"I fell in love with you in my past life?"

"Could be? I know I am certain I did." the younger boy knit his eyebrows and tilted his head.

"How?"

"I don't know, I just feel like you being here…" he paused moving his eyes up to the sky, "it feels right, like I've been searching for you and I found you, I feel complete." he grinned. "You probably think it's stupid."

"No. I don't." Balthazar looked at the boy with a serious expression, "I think you are right. Being with you doesn't make me uncomfortable like it should, I barely know you but it feels like you've been in my life for a long time. I only know your name is Ian and that I like you. A lot." he smiled tenderly at those soft brown eyes staring into his, there was a twinkle in his eyes with intense emotion, it warmed his heart soothing the pain he'd felt and he wished it never ceased.

"I'm Ian Bae Yung." Balthazar smiled wide.

"I like your name. I'm Balthazar Erhard Novak." Ian narrowed his eyes at him.

"You're a Novak?" Balthazar sighed.

"Yeah… my father's side of the family are Novaks."

"You don't like it, do you?"

"When people only want to be your friend because of the last name, not really, it's not a great thing." he felt a warm hand over his which rested flatly on the bench.

"I don't. I don't care if you're a Novak or not." there was a smile in Ian's eyes which made Balthazar relax once again. "You're still shivering."

"Um, yeah, I'm sorry." he drew his hand back.

"We can share body heat if it doesn't bother you." suddenly, his eyes widened seeing Balthazar with a smirk, "I mean, I can sit close to you and- um -"

"Yeah, I'd like that." Balthazar interrupted seeing the boy nervous, Ian closed the distance between them and wrapped his arm around the other boy's shoulder. They sat there in silence simply relishing each other's presence, one of them finally gained the courage to intertwine their fingers and Balthazar rested his head on Ian's shoulder. "I wish you would've found me sooner." he whispered so quietly it was barely audible, Ian turned his head towards him.

"I'm here now." he whispered back, Balthazar looked up at those brown eyes now staring into his. As though they'd collided, the ice being too cold it burned like fire, their eyes locked as their lips met gently upon each others', the sudden shock that passed through them as though they were magnets, their lips moved smoothly savouring their sweet taste, feeling the emotion build inside as the seconds passed but they could not part, not for a second. Tears ran down to his chin becoming conscious of what he would have lost and he could not thank Gabriel enough for saving his life… twice.

…~*~…

He stood from a distance holding the rake in his hands as the cold droplets of water dripped from the tips of his hair to the drying grass, a small smile formed on his lips as he watched Balthazar smiling in the arms of a boy whom he recognised. In a silent prayer he thanked God for him, he thanked Michael for what he'd done and he felt content with himself knowing that being there because of his mistakes was worth it. He lowered his head and continued to rake the leaves alone yet the smile did not fade.

xX*G*Xx