It was just a normal day in the Ishtar (Rod Guy) household. Marik, the big rod himself, was rolling in the kitchen just preparing lunch, preparing lunch, preparing lunch for his family. Spot the dog was of course right under his feet, barking up a storm! He desired the goods immensely. Meanwhile, Jaden Yuki was sprawled out on their nice VERY EXPENSIVE couch from Ikea. "GET YOUR DIRTY FEET OFF MY COUCH!" Marik rodeled from the kitchen, he sees all. That Jaden immediately did as he was commanded in a hurry like the fucking mindslave he was. It was a wise choice, there was no way in hell that Marik, a proud rod man, would allow such blatant disrespect in his household.
Marik flipped a pancake with a sigh, he wasn't afraid to kick Jaden out onto the streets if he had to. Either follow the rules or bye. Where is Bakura? Eating at Mcdonald without a care in the world. He sure was spending a lot of monie there though. A lot of monie that wasn't his to spend. Marik monie.
Roddy finished the many pancake flipping and placed them on the Wood table. "Lunch is ready, ya'll!" he cackawed out throughout the household. Since only Jaden and Spot The Dog were home it was completely unnecessary. "Bark bark bark!" Said Spot. Of course! How could Marik forget? "Don't worry pal I've got you covered." he yodeled kindly and poured Spot's expensive luxurious Dog Food into the bowl. And that made Spot a VERY happy dog! Jaden breakdanced into the kitchen, ready to get his munch on. "Thanks for the meal dude!" said that Jaden Yuki and he really got it done.
Marik just gave a soft mwagh and sat down with his own pancakes and started paying the bills. So, so so many bills. A Rod is never truly satisfied. "Hey Marik so you'll never guess what happened to me today! So like, I was at the mall and-" Jaden started but Marik roddled threatningly with a scream. "Could you like, shut the FUCK UP? Thanks" he said. He had way too much on his plate today.
Literally. The pancakes were stacked as high as they could go. His tower teetered dangerously. "You know" Jaden began, cutting himself off by shoving a whole pancake into his mouth hole. Holy shit, his mouth was HUGE. "I'm getting really sick of how I'm treated around here. You've got zero respect for me." Jaden said, rolling his eyes a bunch. Bakura would be proud of that little man. Marik on the other rod, was not. "I don't give a fucking shit about your stupid mall story alright? I'm not having a good day." He said, trying his very best to keep calm. A rod man never loses his cool (a lie). All this drama was making Spot the dog feel VERY very very VERY uncomfortable and he waddled straight out of there. Marik reached his hand out to his slowly shrinking form helplessly. Bye for now, Spot.
The Rod Man turned to Jaden with a narrow. "LOOK WHAT YOU FUCKING DID, JADEN!" His cool was gone. It might as well have been 90 degrees in Domino City right now cause there wasn't even a light breeze to stop the sizzle. Jaden wasn't intimidated. "Chillax, bro." He said, putting his hands behind his head and leaning back in his chair. "CHILLAX? YOU WANT ME TO CHILLAX? I HAVE TO PAY THE BILLS LIKE A RESPONSIBLE ADULT IN SOCIETY, OKAY. I CAN'T CHILLAX. IF I DON'T HURRY UP OUR WATER IS GOING TO GET CUT. DO YOU WANT THAT JADEN!? DO YOU!?" The Rod Man screamed and screamed and from the other room Spot heard it and cringed. He put his little paws over his ears.
"Holy shit" Jaden said, eyes widening but only his eyes don't worry. His small body stayed the same. "AND ALSO" Marik was not finished yet! Things were not looking good for Jaden Yuki. "I'M SICK OF YOU FREE LOADING. MAYBE IF YOU HELPED WITH THE BILLS WE WOULDN'T BE IN THIS MESS. FUCK, WHERES MY ROSE?" The Rod Could Not Be Stopped. Out the door he went, slamming his body through the wood instead of simply using his huge muscular hand to turn the knob. He wasn't doing his best.
Up on that motorcycle he hopped and then he was gone, BARRELING down the road and using his turbo launchers to really get the job done. He had to find his rose. Had to HAD TO FIND HIS ROSE. Sweat was dripping down his entire body just from anticipation. He was so close he could smell it, and soon he was there. He pulled into the parkling lot of Walmart (he parkled in the handicapped spot because as you know, a Rod Man is not a respectable citizen and should be stopped at all costs) and rodded his way inside the building. He kept rodding and rodding and rodding until he found what he desired. "My roses!" he sqwuaked with glee, he finally made it to the gardening section. He spread his arms out high and he was so sure he felt God smile upon him. "Hello it's the gardening section, can I take your order please" said the Walgreens employee, doing her job as always. Now THAT is a high, respectable member of society. Take notes, kids.
"Ok yeah hi I'm looking for The Roses. I need them for my garden" Rod Job explained through his gurgling. He was a little hard to understand but the worker knew all. "Yes of course sir the roses are to your left." She pointed to the left. "WOW Thanks!" he waddled over to them. But once he reached the correct aisle he narrowed. Oh fucking shit, this was the hard part. Should the roses be red or white? Usually red would be the first option for him, but right now the Red Roses were sooo much more expensive than the white roses. His monie wasn't looking too good right now. A sacrifice had to be made.
Tod man wasn't that good of a decision maker but he had to think fast. What was more important to him: paying the water bill and his family being able to shower another day or... The Red Roses. He narrowed his stuff, knowing now what had to be done. He snatched up like 20 packets of the seed into his claws. The more the merrier they always say. In fact, being the greedy rod he was, he took the White Roses also. The white ones reminded him of something he knew and loved dearly. His very own mindslave rose! Whos hair was white. But yeah, he was booming and crashing all the way through Target. Marik was so ready to seal the deal, but, uh oh! Too much boom! The seed spilled out of the sides of his small cart. Too many seed. Not enough monie. Jaden Yuki and Mindslave Rose would not be showering tonight.
Marik lifted his head and screamed and screamed and it wouldn't stop no matter how hard he tried! The seed! HIS seed! He knew what had to be done. He got on all fours like the pathetic mindslave he was and started picking up each and every Singular Seed. Plop! Plop! Plop! was the sound they made as they went back into his huge hands. He picked up the seed packages and put the seed back into them, where they belonged. There! He rodded himself up with a rod like hmph and pushed his cart all the way to the check out aisle to pay for his roses. In an economy like this, sacrifices had to be made. It was just the only way.
"I'd like to purchase The Roses" Roddy said and placed all the seeds on the check out thing. "Ok that will be 130 dollars sir." said the Kmart employee with a smile. She loved the monie. Marik got out his credit card and smiled sadly. It looked like it would be a while before they'd be able to shower again. The water was definitely gonna get cut off. But what can you do you know? The deed was soon doon, the monie was given, and there Roddy was a very happy guy! Rose Seeds in hand he danced all the way back to his bike. Maybe today wouldn't be so bad after all!
He revved the engine up to maximum volume. "VROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM VROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!" It said, and Marik was feeling it so much that he didn't even put on his safety helmet. Don't be like him. Over 4,000 people die in motorcycle accidents each year. And so he vroomed, the engine revving and HURTING MANY EARS all the way home. He skid across the neighbors yard and into his own, wrecking everything in his path. Marik would need more monie to cover the property damages. Whatever, Marik removed the baggie from his motorcycle trunk and let it out into the world where the flowers could bloom and shine. A single tear trickled down his cheek at the thought. Using his long legs to his advantage, he hightailed it to the backyard where soon his new rose garden would flourish. Rod Man sat in the grass, ready to get down and dirty. But not yet! He couldn't do this without his nice gardening hat and gloves, duh. Marik put them on with a chuckle. "Don't worry guys, I'd never forget about ya'll." He said to his gear and began The Shoveling.
Rod Stick DUG his shovel deep deep into the Soft Soil and began to plow. For gardening this was an important step indeed. He kept plowing and plowing soo much and it was really wearing him down but he KNEW what he had to do. Once the plow was done and grabbed his composte. He had it with him at all times, so don't worry. Then, like the sensible Rod Guy always knows, he Mixed it well until he formed a mound of the entire mixture at the bottom of the hole he dug. He was so excited for his garden to bloom that tears leaked from his rod and they almost watered the plants but wait! Silly Rod Man, that step comes much, much later! The sun was shining oh so bright on that day but his Nice and Tight Gardening Hat kept him shielded from the rays. "Getting it done!" Marik screeched happily on his hands and knees as he began placing his seed in the holes. He was feeling so into it that he couldn't help but start singing a song that he really related to at the moment.
"My friend the communist
Holds meetings in his RV
I can't afford his gas
So I'm stuck here watching TV
I don't have digital
I don't have diddly squat
It's not having what you want
It's wanting what you've got
I'm gonna soak up the sun
Gonna tell everyone
To lighten up (I'm gonna tell 'em that)
I've got no one to blame
For every time I feel lame
I'm looking up o I'm gonna soak up the sun
I'm gonna soak up the sun
I've got a crummy job
It don't pay near enough
To buy the things it takes
To win me some of your love
Every time I turn around
I'm looking up, you're looking down
Maybe something's wrong with you
That makes you act the way you do
Maybe i am crazy too
I'm gonna soak up the sun
While it's still free
I'm gonna soak up the sun
Before it goes out on me
Don't have no master suite
I'm still the king of me
You have a fancy ride, but baby
I'm the one who has the key
Every time I turn around
I'm looking up, you're looking down
Maybe something's wrong with you
That makes you act the way you do
Maybe I am crazy too
I'm gonna soak up the sun
Got my 45 on
So I can rock on." The words flowed from his mouth hole oh so beautifully that even the tweeting birds couldn't help but join in on the roddy fun.
Marik really wanted to dance along to his song to show his sick moves off to the friendly forest creatures but he couldn't! Not before he composted the seeds. Thankfully our Rod Guy was wearing gloves or else this would be super nasty. Ew! He mwaghed softly as he completed the Final Step for planting a rose. Putting the soil over the compost and back to where it belongs. "This is what I've always wanted." Marik whispered into the night. Okay, it is not night at all since the sun is bright and high in the sky right now but work with me. "To create instead of destroy." He whispered more, this was an emotional time for a Rod Man like himself. Marik looked down at his huge muscular hands, and for the first time, smiled at what they had done.
No blood. No murder. No pain.
Marik stood up and sprinked water on every seed. Now, he had some very adult matters to attend to.
"JADEN YUKI WHERE IS THE FUCKING FOOD AT?" The Rod screamed and burst his way through the door. Jaden shrieked in surprise and fell off the couch in pure shock. "I DON'T KNOW! I'M SO SORRY!" Jaden cried, begging silently to be forgiven. "But also" Jaden added more quietly. "Bakura is home." Roddy narrowed , but the happy kind, you know the one. "Rose!" he squwaked happily and ran past Jaden and past the bills waiting to be payed. Uh oh, you're gonna regret that Roddy. But for right now he PUMMELED through his bedroom where his mindslave of course, Bakura, was chilling out on and eating a subway sandwich.
"Mindslave! I need to show you something!" Marik yelled enthusiastically, getting his stuff everywhere. Bakura stuck his nose to the sky. "No" he said. Never Would He Listen. "Oh don't be like that come on!" Marik said completely unfazed and picked him up like a pretty little princess and rodded both of them downstairs and outside. Then he put his treasure on the ground and showed him the view. "Look at it, Mindslave." he whispered. "Look at my garden."
Bakura looked around. "What?" He asked, eyebrows fuzzled in confusion. Marik grabbed him by the shoulders and turned his mindslave in the right direction, his garden was now within sight. Beuatiful. "I don't see a garden." Bakura said, taking a bite of his chocolate sundae. Marik frowned. "What do you mean?" he asked, frowning harder with every word. "Weren't you paying attention? I said I don't see anything." Bakura ate more then reached for the rod. Marik stopped him with a hand to the forehead and pushed Bakura back, the time was not right.
"Well" Marik started, scratching the back of his huge muscular neck with his huge muscular hand. "It's right here. The flowers are hidden underneath the earth right now but soon they will pop out and say hello to the world." Marik informed his mindslave of all the flower facts he knows. Bakura shook his head. "This is stupid. All I see is a pile of dirt." Marik fell to his knees in despair, mouth open in a silent sob. Why Couldn't He Listen?
"Rose, please. I love you" Marik whispered in aguish, heart breaking. "What?" Bakura couldn't hear him, he was whispering too much. "Nothing. It's nothing I need to go." Marik roddled the saddest rod he could muster and got up slowly, trudging into the house with his head hung low. His head was almost as hung as his rod. He just didn't get it. He thought that Bakura, His Mindslave, His Rose, of all people would understand his garden. But that just was not the case.
He went upstairs to take a cold shower but when he turned the lever no liquids came out. Of course. Their water had already been turned off because of His Roses! How could he have been so stupid! From outside the bathroom Jaden and Bakura could hear the screams. "What's his problem?" Jaden asked. Bakura shrugged while chowing down on some chicken from Buffalo Wild Wings. After the fit ended it was quiet for a little longer before Marik quite literally rolled down the stairs. "I'm sorry for how I acted guys. It was really uncool of me." he said awkwardly, rubbing his huge weirdly shaped head. Jaden and the Mindslave nodded approvingly. At least he recognized that he was being a piece of literal human garbage. "So...how about a game of Parcheesi?" Rod Job laughed brightly and rodded up Parcheesi, his favorite.
Bakura took one look at Parcheesi, Marik's favorite, and knew what he had to do. With just a little swipe of his hand it was knocked to the floor, the tiny fragile pieces inside shattering instantly. Roddy gasped. "M-mindslave rose?" Marik stuttered, and started to reach down to pick up the mangled and broken Parcheesi box but not before Bakura opened his mouth hole as wide as he could muster and screamed. "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH" Bakura shrieked like a banshee and stamped into the ground over and over and over again. Marik couldn't believe what he was seeing.
"R-Rose, please, babe." Marik said, trying to sound composed (in a way that Parcheesi now is not) but his voice cracked. Parcheesi, his favorite, is now gone in a flash. You never know how much you love something until its left your life for good. Abandoned again. Bakura's eyes were wild like an animal. "WHAT THE FUCK IS PARCHEESI?" He shouted, balling his hands into fists to punch into the Parcheesi. Rod God backed away slowly. "It's just a board game, Rose." He said and watched helplessly from the sidelines as Bakura took a little red piece and put it inbetween his teeth and bit down hard. It snapped with a sickening crack.
Marik reached his arm out shakingly but it was too late. "Please, don't do this" he choked. Bakura wouldn't listen and continued his destruction of Parcheesi, Marik's favorite, right before his very eyes. Jaden felt sick to his stomach and had to leave the room. "No not the blue piece, not the blue piece please" Marik's voice was a mere hoarse whisper in the night. Bakura looked at him, then at the piece, and then threw the blue piece to the ground where it shattered instantly. Marik howled in agony and fell to his knees. But the rose wasn't done yet and took the Parcheesi, all of it, and threw it in the sink and down the garbage disposal. Bye, Parcheesi.
Bakura brushed off his hands and patted himself on the back on a job well done. "My favorite." Marik cried to himself, his head buried in his hands. It was gone now, it was all gone gone gone. "What?" Bakura said and waddled over to to the fridge and grabbed a slice of cake. "What is for dinner?" he asked with his mouth hole stuffed to the brim with the cake. It got all over the kitchen floor that Marik had broomed this morning. Marik just shook his head. "I'm so sorry" was all he could muster.
"Woof woof" said Spot the dog, licking at Marik's hand. Roddy smiled through his tears at the little guy. He always knew just what to say. "Thank you, Spot." Marik said and stood up slowly and oh boy was it ever a struggle. His legs were still shaking, the loss of Parcheesi was a burden that would weigh down on his heart for years to come. Marik knew where he had to be right now and out the door he went and into the night. Spot the dog followed him all the way to the backyard, where his new garden awaited. Marik wiped the tears away from his eyes and turned to face Spot. "Do you see it, Spot? My Garden?" He asked, sitting down by the freshly placed dirt piles. "Bark!" said Spot, and in his words Marik found new hope. His garden was real, it would bloom, and it would be beautiful.