I knew the last chapter would receive some mixed reviews, and I have one thing to say… My Darlings, have I ever lead you astray? Trust me. That said…
Enjoy Lovelies!
Songs: Lay Me Down by The Wreckers, More Love by The Dixie Chicks
"Emma."
Emma pulled the pillow over her head and groaned. Her body ached and her mind screamed for more sleep. Muffled voices cut through the cotton fluff of the horrific hospital pillow, just enough to irritate her but not enough to distinguish one syllable from the other. In a huff, she jerked the pillow from her head.
"What?" She glared at Eva and Lauren and then at Regina's widely smiling face.
"Eva is releasing me. You need to go get a car seat, and I refuse to leave this hospital one more time in deplorable pink scrubs the nurses are so fond of forcing upon me." Regina explained quickly, wrinkling her nose at the mention of scrubs. Emma rubbed at her contacts with the heels of her hands and waited until the words fully sunk into her hazy brain.
"I have a car seat. It's in my trunk. I bought it back in Boston after the first appointment with Dr. Montgomery. I'll go put it in and warm the car and pull it up to the front doors. Are you good with getting all the details of the follow up appointments for your staples and stuff?" Emma glanced up at her giddy fiancée with bleary, red-rimmed eyes. Emma was exhausted.
"Of course, Darling. Thank you," Regina purred with another smile. She reached out for Emma's hand, slightly hurt when Emma stood and left the room without taking it or at the very least kissing her cheek. Perhaps she hadn't seen her, poor thing looked ready to keel over and die a slow agonizing death of exhaustion. She hadn't even taken her coat.
By the time Emma returned with the car seat detached from the base and a bundle of blankets, her teeth chattered painfully. Regina softened with sympathetic amusement. Emma glared with twinkling eyes and set the car seat on the cot to warm up.
She hung her hands over her hips and mock glared. She wasn't actually upset at Regina who bit her lip and feigned innocence. "Are you making fun of me, Madame Mayor?"
"It's the first week of March in Maine, and you chose to gallivant about in a t-shirt. I have no sympathy," Regina sniffed haughtily and raised her nose in mock condescension. "Yes, Miss Swan, I do believe I mock you."
"Uh huh." Emma shoved her hand beneath the blanket and grabbed her thigh with icy fingers. Regina shrieked with laughter and slapped her shoulder. Emma caught the hand and kissed her fingers, lulling Regina into a false sense of security. The second her eyes slipped shut, she shoved the frigid digits of her other hand against her neck.
"Emma!" Regina slapped her away with one hand and clutched her shirt with the other. Emma grinned like a cheeky little monkey and pressed into her for a kiss, cold hands finding more heated flesh. Regina hissed but ultimately smiled brightly up at her lover.
"If you don't behave, I'll seek Ruby on you," Regina threatened in the same lighthearted voice.
They all made dark vows of such nature regarding each other's particular skill set, Belle warned Ruby about singed fur from her fingertips almost daily, but it snapped the cord of anger tight in Emma's heart. She'd forgotten the pulsing rage in the face of Regina's pending release; the mention of Ruby Lucas reminded her. Emma pulled away and offered taut back muscles to Regina whose face dropped to her lap. Emma summoned heat to her hand and warmed the car seat and blankets.
"I think your mistress brought you clothes yesterday when we thought you were coming home last night." Emma rubbed acid into the gaping wound of their relationship with her choice of words and crossed to the closet. Regina blinked rapidly, dispelling tears before they fell.
"Emma, please talk to me. I don't understand why my relationship with Ruby upsets you so much. I want to, truly, but I simply don't." Regina wiped furiously at her tears as she spoke and prayed Emma opened up.
"She's everywhere, Regina. I don't devalue what she's done for us, but she's fucking everywhere. She lives in our house. She comes up in every conversation. She is entwined in every single aspect of our lives. Even when we lived four hours away, she was still there. When I had my heart, I felt the jealousy but I never doubted our relationship so I never said anything. I knew you were mine. Without my heart…" Emma blew a hard breath through her nose and pulled Regina's clothes from her bag.
"Without your heart, you haven't enough love to balance the jealousy and rage." Regina finished the thought for her. Emma nodded and offered her hand as leverage as Regina scooted to the edge of the bed.
"I get it. I feel the darkness reach for her when she's in close proximity. You bonded with her, but Ruby and I just want to rip out each other's throat. That tells me that she's less than thrilled about my return despite what she keeps saying. She's just as jealous of me as I am of her, like I meant to take that bond away from you guys or something; otherwise, why haven't we bonded like you?" Emma presented the hypothetical as Regina situated herself into a comfortable sitting position.
Regina studied her face so long that Emma thought she'd not even heard a word she'd said. What came out of her mouth was not what Emma expected.
"You're right. That should have been the result. Our relationship wasn't solely based upon our magical connection. By and I experienced a lot together when you were shot and then again in Neverland. She loves me as I am and now perceives you as a threat because I have nothing tying us beyond our mutual respect and love for one another. That's why she's been so violently protective, I presume." They both ignored the blatant neon sign saying that Ruby acted more like a mistress tossed aside when the wifey came home from vacation than a wounded friend.
"How had you not noticed this in The Enchanted Forest? Shouldn't you have felt the lack of connection?" Emma asked innocently. She truly failed to understand how no one noticed their hearts had been swapped.
"I suppose we attributed the changes to Annabel's combined magic. Had I not been carrying a magical baby, we might have noticed sooner. As far as I know, Annabel's type of conception has never happened before. Not even Belle found mention of a child ever being created in such a manner. I think she read every single book in my castle during those four months. Magic bent many rules in our land, but that was never one of them until you and I conceived Annabel. We had no precedent for how my body, magic, and heart reacted to that."
Emma reached around her to untie the gown and considered the explanation; it actually made more sense than anything else they'd discussed this morning. Regina wrapped her arms around her trim waist and pressed a kiss to her collarbone. "Would it help you if I asked her to keep her distance until we figure out how to fix this?"
"That won't solve the problem," Emma countered and fought against the lighter emotions the intimacy of the moment inspired. "That's just a temporary fix."
Regina pressed another kiss to her throat, grinning slightly at the barely controlled shudder that rippled Emma's muscles. "What do you need me to do, Emma?"
"I need you to make her choose. You or Belle. I need you to choose." Emma leaned back and met her confused eyes. "She can't have both of you, not like this, not anymore. This," she gestured between their chests, indicating their hearts, "might be permanent. Things cannot continue as they are if that's the case, not if you two want to remain friends much less under the same roof."
Regina recoiled at the ultimatum. If things remained as they were, Emma intended to make her choose between their love and her intense friendship with Ruby. How was she possibly supposed to make that decision? It destroyed one of the two most important people in her life, second only to her children. Realization slapped her in the face like a cold, slimy piece of raw meat. That was Emma's point. She treated them as equals instead of friend and fiancée. Pained brown eyes met flickering green and violet.
Regina touched her cheek with shaking fingertips. "I'm sorry, Emma. I never meant to do that to you. I'll speak with her. We'll fix this. I doubt either of us actually realized exactly what we were doing to you and Belle. I certainly hadn't until this moment. Can you give us that before you make me choose? Let me try to fix this?"
Emma huffed a sigh and pulled away completely, retreating to Annabel's crib. "You can't choose, can you?" She lifted Annabel and swallowed the tears of rage that sprang into her throat like a gas burner igniting suddenly after a small delay.
"Emma, if I have to, I choose you," Regina said angrily and pulled the shirt over her head without bothering with the bra. "I simply prefer not to choose between two people I care about very deeply. I acknowledge the position we've put you and Belle in, something I had been ignorant of before today. It was incredibly selfish, but, no, I refuse to choose until we've had adequate opportunity to rectify our mistakes."
She challenged Emma's demand with more confidence than she felt. Emma was unpredictable right now. This either resulted in a fight or reluctant concession to her plea. Either way, Emma called her out on their behavior correctly. She and Ruby always danced that line before Pan's debacle, but that shifted in the wrong direction during their time in The Enchanted Forest. They'd created an odd sort of love triangle in Emma's absence, and though they'd never crossed that line physically, clearly they had on some emotional level of which they remained blissfully ignorant.
Regina bowed her head and thought over all the particularly rough nights Ruby had stayed with her and held her far into the morning after they'd awoken. The very first night she had chosen to endure the pain alone was the night before she woke up in Storybrooke. She covered her face and cried softly. She owed Belle a massive apology. No wonder the librarian spent most of her day in the stables or the library with Alex instead of joining their many council meetings. The brilliant witch refused an offer of advisor to the queen, claiming contentment with her books and her daughter despite the obvious desire in her eyes that day to accept. Now, her decision made sense.
"Put you pants on before I get tired of holding them," Emma commanded in a neutral tone as she squatted in front of the bed.
She had already shut herself down, closed herself off to the pain of the conversation. Regina wiped at her eyes and lowered her legs into the loose slacks from the earlier months of pregnancy Emma held out for her and then supported herself on the blonde's shoulders as she slid off the bed. Her fingertips brushed a pad of some sort beneath the thin fabric of her angry partner's shirt. Without thought, she raised the collar and peeked inside as Emma pulled the pants up her legs.
Soft finger tips touched the gauze. "What happened?"
"Magical misfire last night. It's fine," Emma said with a shrug as though Amelia hadn't sliced her open with a dagger while attempting to unleash the darkest emotions in her heart surrounding the most painful events of her life so that she might harness a power activated and strengthened by anger.
"I remember those." Regina tugged on shirt until Emma stood and accepted her embrace. She tucked her head beneath Emma's chin and pressed an ear to her chest. Emma stiffened with the heighten contact of their bodies and tried to focus on something painful in order to cling to her anger.
"Rumpelstiltskin always healed me at the end of our lessons, but once I broke free of his grasp, I suffered through it as any other mortal." Regina sniffed conspicuously and grinned, finally recognizing the scent that had permeated her room since Emma's arrival. "I'm assuming the aroma of old cheese I smell is Amelia's miracle salve?"
Emma nodded and leaned back with her hands clasped behind Regina's neck. It was so damn hard to be angry when she practically felt the unconditional love rolling off Regina in waves. Perhaps her reaction to the Ruby situation merited an apology of her own because she may have slightly overreacted. She acknowledged her own thought in her mind with a hint of sarcasm.
"Baby," she kissed the tip of Regina's nose and then her forehead. "Let's go home." Regina nodded against the lips still pressed to her skin.
Regina ignored her instinct to inform the wolf of their pending arrival and texted Belle from the car instead, praying that she had recovered enough to at least look at the message. Some of the things she said last night had been pure gibberish, others wildly entertaining and embarrassing for her lover, others painful and a clear indication of how much of an emotional toll using magic again took on her. Hopefully, a night of sleep in the arms of the woman she loved restored her clarity.
A 20 minute pit stop at the pharmacy to have Regina's pain medication filled and a short drive later, Emma pulled up the sidewalk in front of her walkway. Obviously, one of them saw the text because Ruby opened the door and started down the walk before Emma ever killed the engine. The passenger door opened, and Regina shivered against the sudden gust of cold air. The wolf's intention of helping Regina to the house, leaving Emma to carry Annabel and their bags, clear. Regina's brow furrowed now that she'd been properly reprimanded for their behavior. How had they come to this place?
Emma clenched her jaw and reached into the backseat to cover the infant's head with a thick bundle of blankets tucked around her tiny body, appreciating the fact that her daughter fussed very little, unlike her son. He'd been a pain in the ass for the first four months of his life. He cried constantly until she discovered just the right way to hold him. Emma swallowed roughly, reminding herself that those were Regina's memories and not her own.
Regina cleared her throat, catching the attention of both women. "Ruby, will you pretty please carry our bags and Annabel inside?" A warm hand found Emma's thigh. She grabbed the steering wheel and pulled her body back to the front seat to find apologetic brown eyes awaiting her reaction. "Emma will escort me."
For the first time in what felt like weeks, Emma smiled, a genuine, heartfelt, tooth-showing, take-Regina's-breath-away smile that made her cheeks ache instantly as she activated underused muscles. She scrambled from the car and nearly hip bumped a dumbfounded Ruby out of the way in her haste to fulfill the request. Regina promised to try and rectify her mistakes, and what just occurred made a huge leap in the right direction.
Regina held her arm tightly and took her time, stopping every few steps up the long walk to wince and gather her strength. Emma waved Ruby around them, wanting Annabel out of the cold as quickly as possible. The wolf acquiesced silently but not without a hard look. Halfway up the walk, Belle and Henry appeared at the door. The recovering librarian looked much better but waited on the stoop, cradling a tiny gray, white and black striped kitten no bigger than her hand. Henry, however, sprinted to his mothers and took up Regina's other arm around his shoulders.
"I'm glad you're home, Moms." He grinned toothily up at them, and Regina kissed his hair, frowning at the fact that she no longer leaned over to reach him. Where had this little man come from?
"Me too, kid. Hospitals make me twitchy," Emma answered. Regina nodded. The place inspired too many horrible memories for everyone.
Once inside the foyer and out of the cold, Belle pulled them each into a one-armed hug while Henry clamored towards the living room to fawn over his new sister. He seemed to be much better than the day he recovered his memories. Emma suspected that Belle's presence and unwavering support played a huge part in that. He only just begun the healing and grieving process, but his general happy demeanor gave them hope that it was possible.
Belle offered her free hand to Regina when she faltered on the first of the five stairs leading to the foyer. She hissed through the pain and accepted the extra support, uncaring if Emma disapproved. She didn't, not when Regina clearly needed two people to assist her with the climb. Once at the top, she paused, recovered, continued towards the living room, paused again. Her mind and body warred for dominance. On one hand she wished nothing more than a sponge bath from Emma and her bed, but she wanted to spend time with her family as well.
Belle saved her with her ever-present forgiveness and quick mind. "Regina, we understand. Go lay down. Ruby can keep an eye on the kids, and I'll make some lunch while you rest. You've moved more in the past 20 minutes than the past 9 days combined." She touched her shoulder and then met Emma's eyes. Something dark passed over the baby blues, and Emma twitched uncomfortably.
"I found a porcelain basin in Gold's shop this morning," she said nonchalantly as though the words meant nothing more than their intended meaning. Her eyes told Emma she was in for an ass-chewing later. "I thought it perfect until your incision heals. It's in your bathroom."
Ruby chose that moment to appear. The kitten hissed. Ruby hissed back and glared at the tiny beast. Emma snorted and Regina bit her lip. Life in the Mills-Swan-Lucas household became ten times more interesting. Ruby huffed.
"Do you need help getting up to your room?" She forced out, directing the question to Regina but meeting Emma's eyes. Her twisted features actually looked pained at having to ask permission to do anything with or for Regina. The overprotective wolf read people far better than anyone realized, and right now both Emma and Regina screamed for her presence to disappear. She hadn't deciphered why yet, but that mattered very little when she clearly wasn't wanted, though she may have been needed.
Regina touched her arm affectionately, sensing her struggle. "That won't be necessary. Emma will poof us. Thank you for the offer and keeping an eye on Henry and Annabel until I get settled." She met the wolf's eyes, and silent understanding passed between them. Regina needed space from her right now, not that she dismissed her feelings or her offer of help. She simply needed Emma. Ruby nodded, stepped backwards, glared at the kitten and then returned to the living room.
Well, fuck, there went half of her fodder for her angry heart, Emma thought. Belle's eyes narrowed at the very un-Ruby-like behavior. Something transpired between them at the hospital while she'd been unconscious, and if someone hadn't filled her in by the end of the day, she determined to rant about it until someone, namely Ruby, did. For the moment, she released the kitten on the floor, hugged both women again, and disappeared into the kitchen.
Emma's shoulders sagged under the relief of only Regina's presence. Regina wrapped her arms around Emma's neck and barely pressed their torsos together, ever mindful of her aching surgical area. "Emma…"
They flashed before Regina finished her thought, and suddenly their bedroom surrounded them. "Are you okay to undress yourself? I'll get some warm water." Regina nodded and Emma released her, disappearing into the bathroom without further comment.
By the time she struggled out of her pants and sat on the bed, Emma emerged with a towel over her shoulder and large basin of soapy water in her hands. Kneeling before the love of her life, Emma felt something inside of her snap, crash and explode. The gesture was so submissive, so like the great heroes from Gilgamesh to Emma Swan. They all knelt before a goddess who promised to save their souls, show them the right path.
Regina sensed the change and touched her cheek, thumb brushing over a suddenly damp cheekbone. "What's wrong, Darling?"
"I love you," Emma blurted as though it were the answer to her question and not how she felt.
"I love you, too, Emma." She smiled and wiped her own tear before it fell. "Please tell me what's bothering you."
"I love you," Emma repeated and dropped her gaze. Finally, Regina understood.
"You don't believe you're strong enough to defeat Zelena because your love for me hinders your rage." Regina raised her chin with gentle but firm fingers. Bright green eyes met brown.
Emma snorted self-deprecatingly and shook her head. "I know I'm not. I probably couldn't even light a fireball right now."
Regina released the now sloppy pony tail and threaded her fingers into tangled blonde hair. "You are, Darling. I understand your struggle. The constant second guessing of how far you're willing to go." Regina sighed, almost hating herself for what she planned to say next.
"Emma, Zelena will kill Annabel if we don't stop her. She will kill me and Belle and Ruby and you and Alex and Henry and anyone else she perceives as a threat. She's strong and she is absolutely insane. She cannot see reason. I know all too well the look I saw in her eyes that day. I'd seen it many times in my own mirror. Even with my heart, I'm not certain I'd have bested her, especially not in my current weakened state." She stopped to press a kiss to the corners of Emma's mouth.
"But I'm also not willing to lose you." Emma touched her thighs softly at the confession, and Regina jerked in surprise, not having expected the affectionate gesture.
"Make me a promise, Emma. Outside these four walls, you can rage as much as you need to in order to stay strong and hone your magical abilities, but when we're here in our room, alone, let me take care of you. Let your love back inside, even if it's only a small amount. I'll let you dance with the devil, Darling, but you better damn well believe that I'll cut in when you get too close."
Emma dropped her forehead to her partner's chest. "Regina." She was wrong. Regina understood exactly what needed to be done, exactly what she needed to do.
Warm lips and tender hands found blonde hair. "I know, Sweetheart." She forced her tears away with a pointed sigh. "I'd never ask you to do this if there were another way. I can't lose our children. We endured far too much to create our family. It's worth fighting for. They are worth fighting for. We are worth fighting for, and if you need to explore your darkness to do that, let me be the light that brings you back. I choose our family. I choose you, Emma."
A half-sob half-hiccup moved Emma's chest. Apparently, it had only taken 30 minutes and one interaction with Ruby for Regina to recognize the truth behind Emma's ultimatum. "I choose you, too. I don't want to do this." Emma made her confession in a pained, breathy whisper.
Regina tightened her hold in Emma's hair. "I know. I'll save you, Darling. Trust me. I'll save you while you save our family from being torn apart again." Tears flowed freely into the words, and Regina allowed them.
They cried together for what felt like forever. Eventually, Emma wiped her eyes and pulled away to meet Regina's eyes. The mayor smiled and touched her cheek, swiping at the wetness with her thumb.
"Have Amelia use a thinner blade next time, they don't leave such large gashes, which leaves more skin to damage. Also, tell her to flick her wrist with the whip. It leaves deeper marks in the flesh." Regina casually offered advice for torture as though she corrected a cake recipe.
Emma raised her eyebrows and sputtered but no words passed her lips. "I mentored that girl for years, Emma, almost my entire reign as Evil Queen. It may have been a very long time ago, but I still recognize my own methods of creating a magical monster." One side of a pale mouth lifted in a smile of pride and awe as Regina searched her eyes.
"You knew the second you woke up and I was gone last night, didn't you?" Emma finally blurted, confused as hell by Regina's reaction.
Regina hummed and nodded thoughtfully. "I suspected when you kissed neither me nor Annabel until after you'd napped. Confirmed when I smelled Amelia's cream and saw the gauze and whip marks on your back." She trailed her fingers into Emma's hair and pressed their lips together in a chaste but deeply meaningful kiss.
"I may have your beautiful loving heart, Darling, but my memories are my own. If I knew how to activate this idiotic organ, I'd have done so by now. As that seems impossible unless faced with life or death situations, I'll navigate you through the intricate pathways of a demonic heart in your chest."
Emma sputtered some more. What the hell just happened? Had Regina truly just granted her permission to basically become evil? Regina smirked.
"Miss Swan, as we are currently in the one room where your anger is not welcome, bathe me before the water cools completely. Your heart is rather exhausting and I have not had a bath in over a week, at least not one I've enjoyed as much as I intend to enjoy this one." Regina pushed her shoulders away and raised an eyebrow when Emma toppled onto her ass, too shocked to catch herself.
"I could just magic you clean," Emma offered and picked herself up with red cheeks and burning ears.
Regina pursed her lips and nodded thoughtfully. "You could, but what fun would that be?"
Emma failed to stop the smirk that spread on her lips. Sassy Regina with a heart of gold presented a whole new unexpected challenge she very much looked forward to taking on. "You're really not mad, are you?"
"Oh, I'm livid, Miss Swan." Regina grabbed her chin and held her gaze, allowing her own righteous anger out to play. "If you ever lie or try to deceive or manipulate me again, you won't have to tap my heart to catch a glimpse of The Evil Queen."