Dream cycles are a quirk of the Heaven's Feel ritual. Experiencing the life of the Servant from their memories would most likely prove as a humbling experience, painting them as sympathetic people who are your comrades in search of the Grail and not as some mindless summons that obey to one's will. For someone of a special case like me however, who had summoned himself...It just reminded me of my mistakes.
Ishtar stood there, crowning over her victory with a red gaze that looked down upon all of creation. To her, Uruk was nothing more than the property of the one who had scorned her - a thing to be destroyed, regardless of other's opinions. She, who looked down on humans - mortals - as nothing more than ticks beneath her feet, was staring at me with a sadistic glint that told me of her intentions.
My grip on Frea wavered, and her hands clutched tighter about my waist. Her breaths were shallow now - a result of blood flowing into her punctured lung, and her death was already a given at this point. There was nothing I could do in order to bring back the dead to life. Of course, unless I traded my soul for hers in Irkalla.
"This is your fault, Enki", she said, a divine voice made out of pure Authority, "It was your suggestion that led to her death. You were the one who suggested creating these persistent bugs known as humans, and thus it led to the creation of Gilgamesh. His faults lie within yours, and so you must pay for it as well with death." Her weapon formed in motes of iridescent light, the boat of Manna appearing in her hands with an arrow fully-drawn. "Now, accept your failure with dignity, for associating with these bugs had tarnished your divine spark."
"You killed her."
"Like I have told you before, if you never stood in my way, then she never would've died protecting her 'home'." She sneered at me, and the arrow shifted, with golden cracks now littering its surface. "What a foolish girl. Defending a King that didn't deserve the right to be one. What was the point of giving her life to an insignificant plot of land in the first place? Didn't she know that we could restart this experiment any time we wished?"
And so I watched, as my old self broke into pieces at seeing Frea's death. I watched as my old self laid her on the ground and tapped his foot, causing the earth to shift and move over in order to protect her corpse. I stared into the eyes of my own self, now devoid of meaning and purpose, yet still left with one singular task - to avenge the one that he had loved. Now that I think about it, I was more powerful back then. A man with no meaning and purpose were just as dangerous as Gaia's wrath, and it showed.
"Seraphims, set."
"Hm? Still raving on about your pathetic last stand? Why don't you just lay and die like the dog you are?"
"Pattern formation, delta."
Rifts in reality formed from all around Ishtar, who simply raised an eyebrow and sneered at the rifts surrounding her. She released her arrow, a golden trail of light following the wake of a burst of Authority that shattered the palace around them. I held out a hand, the innumerable macros in my mind acting in sync as the rifts in reality materialized, stopping the golden burst of light right in its tracks and transferring it back towards Ishtar. Inhuman eyes widened at the action, and her head moved swiftly to the side, narrowly dodging the beam in the process.
"I petitioned for humanity to be created in order to uphold the balance. Gods like you have wreaked havoc onto this world too many times to count", my voice boomed, in a manner that was akin to an Authority, but also not. I didn't know where this sudden change had come from, but I welcomed it- if only so it would make it easier for me to kill the bitch that killed my wife. "They could do what you could not. Die. Change. Hold multiple domains at the same time. Provides nutrition. Most of the gods saw the need for change- that they needed to strike a balance between their wants and the wants of the World. You however..." I trailed off, the rifts in reality slowly gathering strength as Gaia's Reality Marble began to break down around me, revealing a dead world beyond the veil. The world of Notes. "...You are nothing but a self-entitled brat. Now suffer."
Reality shattered around us, revealing the world where Gaia was dead and the Aristoteles awoken from their slumber. It was upon this dead world that I searched through the annals of Akasha, binding the weapons that I needed in order to kill this insult to reality in front of me. A sleek black gun materialized in front of me, set in the design of intertwining branches. Its center orb glowed, shooting out a stream of iridescent light that stopped at the edge of the barrel. I grasped it with my right hand, feeling space warp as I took it, and I pointed it towards the entitled brat.
She tried to move, but couldn't. Black chains made of ash wrapped around her body, tying her to the dead ground. It was the chains that had bound me once from a future long time past, one that wrapped me around a mountain while a Divine Beast tore my insides apart. It was made to restrain beings of Divine descent, having the same ability as Enkidu. But these chains were from a different pantheon. She would never know how to free herself from them.
And so having all the time in the world, I pulled the trigger. I watched as Ishtar's eyes widened at the sight of the abomination that I held. I watched as the miniature black hole collided with her, sucking her into its depths and imprinting the concept of 'destruction' to everything that made her Ishtar. From her being to her Authorities, nothing remained but a floating ball of darkness that was occasionally twinged with yellow.
I sighed, watching reality shatter in front of me once again as I was shifted back towards the falling palace, a tired smile on my face. The barrier containing Frea had cracked and shriveled, but she was already gone - returned to the Reverse Side of the World after her death. A part of me wanted to try and reach her, and another part tried to discourage me from doing so. I was already being hunted by the Beasts of Gaia and Alaya - why would I incur the wrath of the various Phantasmal Beasts inside?
If only my past self knew.
Pain seized me, with my joints locking up immediately as I coughed up blood. Golden ichor mixed with red blood was spilled on the shifting grounds of the palace, and I fell into a crumpled heap, right where the spot that I had laid Frea in. All I could do was stare at the ceiling, the various structural damages occurred during Uruk's defense finally taking its toll as pieces of rubble began falling from their face. Just as another one fell onto my face, however...
I woke up.
/-/
"You better not be leading our Waver into delinquency, son." The old lady warned me, her stern gaze reminding me of Frea. I glance towards my side, where Alexander the great was eating with gusto and was lively chatting with the old man that Waver hypnotized, and I couldn't help but smile at the scene. The beautiful, idyllic scene that I wanted to have after how many years of living...I close my eyes, with determination setting in my features as I met gazes with the old lady.
"I won't", I promise, setting my finished meal down as I nodded towards her in thanks of the meal. She smiled at me, probably guessing the honesty in my statement, and moved on to gather up the plates. I sighed, leaning back into my seat as I cursed inwardly at the fact that I have silver hair, and I was broken out of my reverie a few seconds later by a tap on the shoulder. "What?"
"What were you smiling about earlier?" Rider asked, raising a bushy red brow at me. I chuckle, shaking my head as I stared out the window, wondering how the rest were doing.
"Nothing."