Goodbyes

Alec returned a few moments later, masterfully balancing four trays, brimming with food. None of us had eaten in some time and at the sight of food, my stomach growled loudly.

Alec paused and tilted his head to one side.

"Is that a stomach growling I hear?" he teased.

"The question is, who's stomach was it?" I replied, "We're both starving."

"Guilty lamb bleats first." Alec replied, raising an eyebrow at me, "Or something like that."

He decided not to tease us any longer, but handed over a food tray to each of us, then headed across the room to deliver one to Max.

"Your highness." he said with a mock bow.

"It's about time you figured that out." Max returned.

Alec just grinned and returned to our side of the room. I tried to smile at him, but it was hard when all I could think about was that this would probably be the last time I would get to see him. I hid my expression behind an apple, taking a large bite.

Alec resumed sitting at the end of Kira's bed, across from my chair. He'd barely managed to sit down when Syl appeared next to him.

"Thanks." she said, snatching a sandwich off his tray and retreating.

"Hey!" Alec protested, but without much force. He shook his head and looked after the small blonde's retreating figure, "Women."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Kira demanded around a mouthful of food.

"Here we go again." Alec smirked.

I watched as Syl and Krit argued over why Syl should or should not share the stolen sandwich with Krit. It ended abruptly when Syl stuffed the remainder of the sandwich in her mouth and Krit went to work on the other side of the room. Syl caught my gaze and grinned, giving an elaborate shrug of her shoulders.

We'd been trained to think of the '09 escapees as traitors, rats, betrayers. They'd sure beat it into our heads enough times. However, I'd never really seen them that way. I'd always sort of disliked them, but not for the reasons that we were supposed to. I'd disliked them at first because I couldn't understand them and then later because I envied them. Then, of course, I'd become a traitor, too, when I'd escaped, so a lot of the training about '09ers didn't really apply anymore. And now that I'd met three of them, I couldn't really see any reason why we should hate them. The only people who I could understand harboring any ill-will towards the escapees would be their twins, especially Alec, who'd had it so hard after they'd left because of their genetic similarities. However, Alec clearly had shrugged off that hatred since he had stayed with Max for so long and appeared to enjoy Krit and Syl's company, as well. I wondered briefly what life had been like for the twelve of them, being on the outside for so long.

"How you feeling, Jess?" Alec asked with a frown of concern.

I realized that I had stopped eating.

"I'm okay." I said quickly, taking another bite of my apple.

I wondered if I should tell him that Kira and I were leaving. I wasn't very good at saying goodbye, I'd never really had any practice, but didn't Alec deserve it. It wouldn't be right to just slip out without telling him. Besides, he might worry.

So I would tell him goodbye. It was decided. I just had to figure out how I was going to do it.

I thought about it throughout the remainder of our meal. My mind turned over all the possibilities while I ate my food and gave simple comments and responses to the conversations taking place. My genetically-enhanced brain processed the information, but came up with no solution. Alec took the empty tray from my hands and I still had no idea what to do.

"We should probably get you somewhere where you can lie down." Alec mused.

I was about to protest that I was fine, but then I realized that I should go to our quarters and collect the few possessions that Kira and I had. Maybe then I could explain everything to Alec.

"Will you help me back to my place?" I asked.

"Do you really have to ask? Come on, when have I not helped you?" Alec rolled his eyes, then seemed to realize something and quickly added, "And don't you play that 'taking you down at Manticore' card again. You can only play that so many times."

"Yes, sir." I teased.

Alec gave me a hand and pulled me to my feet. I still felt kind of shaky and very weak, but I was getting better after every time I stopped to rest.

Alec paused as we moved past Max.

"Hey, Max. I'm going to take Jess back to her place. I know you can't stand to have me out of sight, but try to keep from screaming this time, okay?"

Max flung her tray at Alec's head, but Alec dropped my hand and caught it before it hit him.

"That wasn't nice."

"Oops. It slipped." Max said with a wide-eyed innocent expression.

"Right." Alec said sarcastically, taking my hand again and continuing towards the door.

I didn't say anything the whole way to the mess hall where we returned the trays, simply listening as Alec recounted the numerous unjust injuries that had been inflicted upon him by Max.

"You're awfully quiet." Alec finally commented.

"I know."

"Is something wrong?"

We hadn't reached my building yet, but it seemed like I had to say something.

"Yes." I admitted, "We're leaving."

Alec shook his head quickly, dropping my hand.

"What?"

I sighed. This wasn't going to be pleasant.

"Kira and I, we're leaving. I'm going to get our things together and we're going to head out of here before everything gets chaotic."

"And when were you planning on telling me? When you'd got everything packed? Or were you going to tell me at all?" Alec demanded.

I winced.

"I was going to tell you, Alec. I just wasn't sure how."

Alec's eyes smoldered for a moment, then the emotion disappeared from them.

"That's fine." he said evenly, "You do what you've got to do. I understand."

"Alec." I said sharply, forcing him to look me in the eye, "I'm sorry, okay? What did you want me to do? Wait until you and Max took off? We both know that we're going to have to split up and lay low. You said so yourself. Kira and I are just getting a head start. We'll be traveling kind of slow, so we need the extra time."

Alec's eyes softened slightly. At least I'd kept him from retreating back into himself again.

"I wanted you to come with me, Jess." Alec said.

"We both know that's not an option. Max needs you with her and I've got to go with Kira."

"Why can't you both come with me and Max?"

"Are you kidding? Max will need her team with her. You, Krit, Syl, Dix, Mole, Joshua. She can't take any more people with her. Especially two that would slow her down. You know that White guy is out to get her."

Alec frowned and was silent for a long moment. I hoped that he was beginning to understand.

"So, I'll go with you two." he said suddenly.

My eyes widened in surprise.

"What about Max?"

"Like you said, Max is going to have a bunch of people with her already. She doesn't need me."

I shook my head and smiled sadly.

"Max needs you, Alec. And it's not my place to break up her team."

Alec didn't reply, looking off to the side.

"Maybe I'll see you when this all blows over." I offered, although I didn't really believe that myself.

I moved past him. I had to get our things.

Alec's hand grabbed my arm, stopping me. I turned and looked up at him questioningly.

"I have to get our stuff together, Alec." I said finally when it didn't seem that he was going to say anything.

He nodded slowly, but didn't release my arm. I tugged a little, trying half-heartedly to get my arm back. Reluctantly, he let go, but when I started to move away, he moved with me. We walked silently to my building. I avoided looking at Alec, unsure of what I would find in his eyes now.

I opened the door to the building and entered, feeling Alec follow, but noticing that he stopped in the doorway. I had no idea what to say, so I simply proceeded collecting my things. I felt Alec watch me as I set a black duffel bag on the couch and began filling it with clothes.

"This is bullshit." Alec exclaimed unexpectedly.

I jumped at the sound of his voice. The vehemence in it was enough to make me forget my weariness about looking him in the face. His brow was furrowed and his eyes were angry.

"This is complete and utter bullshit. I refuse to accept that this is the only way."

"Well, if you got any ideas, please share because I'm all out." I snapped in frustration.

"Well, give me some time, damn it. Don't leave right now."

I shook my head and stuffed clothes into the duffel bag more roughly.

"No, Alec. I can't do this. We have to leave."

"You know what? Good. Beat it. I should've figured you'd skip out before the rest of us. That's what you do, right?"

I glanced up at him in shock. I couldn't believe he had said that. This was nothing like that! His face showed no remorse. His lips were twisted in a slightly sardonic version of his usual smirk, his eyes showed nothing. Before I could make a sound, he spun on his heel and disappeared from the doorway.

The anger I had sought before kindled itself anew. I grabbed the closest thing to my hand, a shoe, and flung it at the wall near where he had stood.

"I hate you, Alec!" I yelled, for the first time completing that sentence with the name Alec instead of the designation 494.

As if in response, rain began to splash against the ground outside the open door. I scowled at the falling drops and finished packing as quickly as I could manage.