I apologize for the lateness! My computer is officially dead, I blame the garden gnomes. Anyway I am posting this from a borrowed computer for now and I don't know exactly how often I will be able to use it so forgive me if the next chapter is somewhere towards the end of the week, I will try my best to get it out sooner but as I said dead computer. Just be glad I remembered to back my files up or we'd have a dead story instead and I would have to re-write the ending in some terribly cliche way. Anyway thank you all for your support these past few chapters and thank you to those who told friends who told friends etc that I needed a beta, I now have a couple offers that I'm looking at. The end of the story is nearing dears! Oh and don't worry Harry isn't really dead- well he is, but I won't let him stay dead and since I'm not particularly fond of necrophilia he won't be a zombie either for those who are worried. Sorry for the dreadful cliffhanger, my inner sadist seems to have been unleashed on this story...bye!
Mistress Slytherin
NOT FOR THE EYES OF CHILDREN
MALE/MALE RELATIONSHIPS
Dom/sub relationship
TORTURE
NOT MY CHARACTERS
Mistress Slytherin
-LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU THINK!
-25-
Harry followed Voldemort to the dungeons his mind swirling with thoughts and emotions. He didn't want Voldemort to find a mate; he would be the first to admit that, he didn't want to have to watch as the man took another woman to bed with him. But Voldemort wanted a family, and that Harry could understand. It was a longing that never truly faded even when one accepted it as an impossibility. Harry wanted to make Voldemort happy; it was very nearly as simple as that. Red eyes turned to him. "Ready pet?" The man asked tilting his head to the side. Harry swallowed and nodded.
"Yes master." He said before following the man into the darkened room which was a stark contrast to the brightly lit hallways he'd become used to. It took a moment for his eyes to adjust, when they did however, Hermione's eyes greeted them. The last time he had been in here he hadn't really looked at her; he hadn't really wanted to look at her. Now however, it was unavoidable. She looked like nothing more than a corpse. Her naked body showed her ribs and outlined her bones. Several gashes crisscrossed her body and her arms were bloody from where the cuffs had cut into her skin.
"Pet." Voldemort said his eyes unreadable. Harry made his way down the steps to where the man stood. "I want you to talk to her." Voldemort said softly. "She will die today; I want you to say whatever it is you think you need to say." He said quietly before lifting his hand and brushing Harry's cheek with his knuckles.
"Could you take her down?" Harry asked leaning into the touch seeking comfort as a trickle of fear filled him. Voldemort frowned but nodded.
"Is that Harry speaking? Or Ares?" He asked waving his hand casually towards the cell. Harry swallowed as Hermione fell to the ground in a painful mess of limbs.
"I don't know." He said shaking his head. Voldemort sighed but nodded.
"Very well." He said before leading them into the cell and transfiguring a large rock into a chair pulling Harry into his lap without a word. Harry leaned into the offered comfort and for a moment simply stared at Hermione who stared sadly back. Hermione was the one to speak first.
"He's killed millions Harry." She said softly. Harry lifted his head from the man's chest and nodded.
"So have I- probably." He said smiling faintly. Hermione nodded seeming to come to a conclusion about something.
"You, and Ron…you've both changed Harry." She said shaking her head. Harry nodded.
"So have you Hermione." He said leaning into Voldemort for comfort resting his cheek against the man's chest. Hermione winced and nodded.
"I suppose…" She said her voice raspy. "I suppose there is no right or wrong any more is there?" She said tiredly. Harry lowered his gaze.
"There was never right Hermione, there was never going to be right." He admitted. "Even if Dumbledore had won, people, are evil. Even those who we think are kind have the capability of being cruel." Hermione nodded slowly before looking at Voldemort who was idly stroking Harry's curls an expression of detachment on his face.
"You said that you love him." Hermione croaked looking back at Harry who nodded.
"Yes." He agreed smiling softly. "I love him." Hermione gazed at him for a moment.
"You know what he's like though…what if he betrays you?" She said worrying her lip which Harry noted had been bitten through at some point. Harry smiled thinly.
"Then I die." He said simply. Arms tightened around him and he leaned into the man's arms. "If not on the outside, then on the inside." He amended. Hermione frowned.
"You would become a mindless slave for him." She said knowingly. Harry nodded. "That's…sad." She said tilting her head to the side. Harry smiled.
"I know." He said accepting the truth. Hermione sighed.
"You are so damaged Harry Potter, so broken by the world and what it has done to you." She said softly before glancing at Voldemort. "But still…you hope to someday have that love you so desperately seek returned. That love that the rest of the world was too foolish to give you." She smiled bitterly and Harry returned the smile. The smile fell. "But there was at least once person I know who loved you very much Harry." She said quietly. "No matter what you may have thought." Harry frowned.
"What?" He asked his voice trembling slightly. Voldemort's arms tightened around him and a tear slipped down Hermione's cheek.
"I loved you Harry Potter." She sobbed dragging in great rattling gasps of air. Harry leaned further into Voldemort's arms who held him tightly his hands rubbing soothing circles into his back. "I loved you even when I understood that you weren't the Gryffindor golden boy that everyone expected you to be!" She shouted. "And when the world went to hell, I fucking searched for you!" She spat angry tears slipping down her cheeks as she struggled to control herself. Harry choked back a sob of his own and Voldemort sighed rocking him slightly. Hermione watched them for a moment helplessness in her eyes before nodding to herself. "Harry." She said softly forcing him to look at her. "I love you even now as we discuss my imminent death, I do not regret having met you and…" She glanced at Voldemort her eyes hardening. "If this is what you want, then for what it's worth, you have my blessings." She said quietly. Harry sat stunned for a moment his breath caught in his throat.
"Why?" It was Voldemort who spoke this time his voice curious. Hermione shrugged weakly.
"Because I love him." She said softly. "Just like he is unable to explain why he was willing to do what he has done, I am unable to explain why I can harbor not hatred towards him and the choices he made. I love him, even knowing that I will die for it. Harry brushed away the tears that were dripping down his cheeks.
"I loved you too." He said quietly. "I thought that you didn't love me though, I thought that in order to survive I had to rid myself of that love. It was weak after all, a love that could have been exploited and used against me had I allowed it to continue." Hermione nodded before turning to Voldemort.
"Please." She said softly her eyes pleading. "Don't betray him." She croaked her voice rough. Voldemort nodded sharply and tightened his hold on Harry.
"I would never Miss Granger." He said solidly. Harry felt numb as she smiled and Voldemort pushed him off his lap. "Are you ready?" He said quietly. Hermione swallowed thickly before nodding. Harry trembled from where he had landed on his knees. Tears poured from his eyes as he watched Voldemort pull out a blade and Hermione close her eyes.
"See you Harry." She said softly a small smile curving across her lips. Harry bit back a sob.
"Bye Mione." He rasped. A lone tear slid down her dirty cheek as Voldemort's blade slit her throat cleanly. She gargled, and blood slowly poured from the wound spurting a bit from the side. Harry watched with wide eyes as she teetered her body unable to bare the weight as blood dribbled from the side of her mouth. Slowly, as the blood dripping down her body reached her midsection she tipped to the side a small sigh escaping her lips. Harry trembled as Voldemort approached him and let out a low miserable sound as he looked up at the man who looked pained.
"Come pet." He said opening his arms. Harry flew into them, even knowing that Voldemort was the source of his pain, Voldemort was also the only one he could rely on to ease his pain. He didn't know how long he simply clung to the man weeping his body wracked with sobs. He didn't notice when the man lifted him into his arms and carried him back to their bedroom stripping him slowly and carefully before bathing him quietly and redressing his wounds. It was only as the man began to unwind the bandages on his hands that he was able to concentrate on anything else. His hands were nearly healed now. They were white and rather sensitive and the pink scars ached a bit, but they were otherwise unmarked. Soon the scars would fade and his skin would bear no mark that Hermione had ever hurt him.
"They'll be gone." He whispered somehow feeling more hurt than before. Voldemort glanced up at him and waited for him to elaborate. "The scars will be gone, erased, just like Hermione- just like all those people in London, gone, like they never existed." Voldemort's hands stilled.
"Gone, but not forgotten pet." He said quietly. Harry frowned.
"Is that why you fear death?" He said softly. Voldemort looked up at him in shock before frowning deeply.
"No." He said shortly. "Is that why you fear death?" He asked. Harry acknowledged the turn around.
"I don't." He said softly. "Not anymore." Voldemort glanced up at him.
"Not any more?" He prodded gently as he gently rubbed a salve into his skin.
"Because I have learned that in one thing, Dumbledore was right." Harry said looking away before he could catch the man's glare. "There are worse things than death." He said softly. Voldemort said nothing and continued to rub the salve in a deep frown on his face.
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Ron sighed heavily as he entered his small flat and stumbled towards the lumpy couch falling into it like it was a bed of feathers. Work had been brutal. Even though his job was supposedly to make sure that the werewolves didn't attack anyone while at the ministry, it was usually the wizards that attacked the werewolves. He'd been hexed nearly sixteen times just today! He shook his head and let out a sigh. "I don't think he's noticed us yet Heruamin." A voice said amused. Ron shot up wand in hand- only to fall off the couch and hit his head on the coffee table. He howled and rubbed the back of his head before slowly looking up only to freeze. There, standing by his small dingy window in his small dingy apartment were the two most feared wizards in the world. He gazed at them for a moment before black spots glittered behind his eyes and he promptly passed out.
"Ennvetre." Ron groaned as he was forcibly awoken and met the stormy gray eyes of the Dark Prince. Yelping he scrambled back.
"M-M-My lords!" He said his face pale. Voldemort who was now lounging in the single chair he had in his kitchenette. Red eyes glanced at him disinterestedly before flickering back to the Dark Prince who was lifting a rather pricy looking vase- or rather, he realized his expression falling, an urn.
"Harry Potter was a worthy adversary to my lord." The Dark Prince said softly gathering Ron's attention to him. Ron frowned. Were those Harry's ashes? "Hermione Granger was a good friend to Harry Potter and despite her blood a very worthy witch." The dark prince continued quietly his eyes meeting Voldemorts as he lifted the urn. "It was decided that in light of these facts she at least deserved respect in her death." He said holding the urn out to Ron whose face had fallen. Slowly shaky hands rose and took hold of the urn. His lips trembled. He and Hermione had, had a major falling out the last time he'd seen her. She was convinced that Harry was alive and that she had to find him, to fight the changes even though the order its self had disbanded. He loved her though. He had always loved her.
"This is her then?" He said tears already dripping down his cheeks as he looked up at the dark prince who nodded slowly his grey eyes swirling curiously with emotion. Ron however, was too caught up in the wave of tormented grief that overcame him to do anything more than clutch the urn close to his chest and rock back and forth while he wept. Hermione was gone. Hermione Jane Granger, the love of his life was gone.
Hermione.
Hermione.
Hermione.
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He was running, as fast as his feet could carry him, but they were there. Faceless, haunting, men and women he never knew chasing him. Blood splashed in the air where his feet hit the ground and clouds of ashes tried to blind him. Up ahead he could see his mother. Could she help him? He didn't know but he stretched out his arms and reached for her anyway. She shook her head and faded. He cursed inwardly and kept running shaking off the feeling of hands swiping his back as they grew too close. Suddenly his father appeared up ahead just as his mother had, beside him Remus and Sirius stood facing the opposite way glancing back at their friend. Harry cried out begging for his father to help him, for Remus to protect him, for Sirius to look at him. But James shook his head, and just like Lily he turned around and walked away disappearing. The groans and screams of the people behind him grew to a feverish pitch and his legs felt like lead as he tried to run faster. He could see in the distance a vague shape, he nearly cried out in relief as he caught sight of Hermione holding her arms out to him. He ran faster, harder away from the people. And odd tune filled the air as he rushed towards Hermione's form and for a moment he didn't recognize it.
London bridges falling down…falling down…falling down…
London bridges falling down, my fair lady…
And suddenly he was reaching for Hermione- only to watch as she crumbled before him falling apart. He stopped in breathless bewilderment and lifted his hand to catch a bit of the smoke that was filling the air where she had stood.
Ashes.
My, fair lady…
They were grabbing him, shaking him, pulling at him. They wanted to tear him apart!
He woke screaming his entire body shivering and the scent of ashes lingering in his nose. Voldemort was staring at him with wide eyes his hand on Harry's arm. Harry whimpered and threw himself into the man's arms crying in fear and pain as the man rocked him gently unable to sooth him. Eventually he pulled away and shook his head at the man's tired look as he wiped away the tears cursing himself for the weakness.
"Do you ever…" His breath caught in his throat as if he were choking on it.
"What pet?" The man asked his eyes drooping already. Harry clenched his jaw before turning and forcing himself to look squarely into the depths of the exhausted red eyes.
"Do you ever regret doing what you've done?" He asked. He wasn't certain of what he was trying to achieve in asking the man, but whatever it was…It wasn't this. Red eyes became a void, nothingness, the kind that sent shivers down his spine. Slowly the man tilted his head to the side as if he were actually thinking about the question though the answer was already there in his eyes, in the blank mask on his face.
"No." He said his voice cold and empty before his eyes slipped closed and thin lips fell apart in sleep. "Go wash your face and come back to bed pet." He mumbled absently before the man's powerful body turned away from him. Harry's mouth felt dry and he couldn't help the way his legs and arms trembled as he stood and made his way to the bathroom closing the door so as not to bother the man. Hesitantly he looked up into the mirror and met his silver gray eyes. Was he so different now? From the boy in the cupboard? In appearances yes, though despite Severus' accusations about him being a tad bit narcissistic in truth he avoided looking into mirrors. Why? He smiled bitterly as he turned on the faucet and splashed his face. Why?
Well, because his eyes were no longer green.
He gasped at the fact and stared wide-eyed into the mirror. What? He blinked slowly at his reflection. Who…who was that? That man…was it really him? The man who killed so easily…the man who willingly fell into Voldemort's bed… Voldemort…the man who stared at him with that stare, who truly didn't regret the blood he'd stained the earth with. Did he…care about Harry? Was that real? Harry didn't understand how he could, even if the man swore that he did. Was Harry so hopelessly lost in him that he couldn't see the truth? A flicker, the barest hint of something dark ran through him and he was snapped out of his thoughts only to find himself staring into blue gray eyes that were too blue to be his. His lips parted in shock as thin lips stretched into a tired smile and a strong hand rose placing its self on the other side of the glass. Harrys' thinner narrower fingers shook as he raised his own hand and placed it against the glass.
"Sirius." He whimpered nearly silently. The man smiled painfully at him and a single silvery tear dripped down his cheek. Harry felt the same pulse from earlier and let out a dry sob as the man faded away leaving him alone. Sirius…He dropped his hand. Was he going mad? No…that was Sirius. He didn't know how or why but it was Sirius.
Sirius…
Oh…Merlin…
Horror raked through him painfully followed quickly by a wretched guilt and shame. Had the man seen what he had become? This- monster wrapped in finery? His breathing became labored coming in sharp painful gasps that had him grasping at his chest as he was overwhelmed by thoughts and emotions.
"Shit!" He heard the voice as if it were under a roaring waterfall and his dizzy star-speckled gaze landed on Voldemort as his body went numb and gave way beneath him.
"Heruamin" He breathed his eyelashes sweeping closed. The man would take care of him…
But then…
Why?
"Harry Potter…"
"My precious horcrux."
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Harry entered the Ministry of Magic two steps behind Voldemort and immediately noted the silence. Voldemort frowned back at him and nodded gravely as if affirming his thoughts. "Without your father it has been utter chaos." He said sounding annoyed. Of course given the fact that Voldemort refused to admit to needing anyone Harry decided he could accept the man's annoyance.
"Swear on your magic that you will not harm either of them and I might be able to bring them back." He said absently. Voldemort twitched and stopped walking much to Harry's reckless amusement. Slowly the man turned to him his expression one of barely veiled fury.
"You have no idea how close you are to getting yourself killed my Ares." He said his voice tight. Harry's smile fell and his lips tightened. My precious horcrux… His jaw tightened. Ever since that night he'd been jumping at shadows, every reflective surface bore Sirius' tormented face and doubts crept in on him. Doubts about Voldemort, about himself, about everything.
"I am aware, I walk along a thin, sharp blade and with every step I take my feet bleed, but as long as you are the one holding that blade I can only walk towards you or away from you. You are the one that causes me to walk away." He said his eyes losing a bit of their light. Voldemort frowned and turned suddenly gripping his wrist and dragging Harry through the hall ignoring the scattered people until he came upon an empty office and pulled them both inside, locking the door as he did so. Harry stared at up at the man as he was pushed bodily against the door his hands held above his head.
"Why is it that you walk away?" The man demanded his teeth clenched his grip on Harry's wrists tightening. "At first it was because you couldn't trust me and I admit that had I known of your identity I would have killed you. But we moved past that damn it!" He said frustration clear in his eyes. "I made you my friend, my lover my pet what more do you want Ares? What more could I possibly offer you to make you give in?" Harry relaxed in the man's hold.
"I have given in master." He said sadly. "I hadn't wanted to you know, I had wanted to hate you even as the little green eyed boy in the cupboard under the stairs-" His breath caught in his throat. "-but even that boy had to give up at some point." He said tiredly. "Death surrounded me, encompassed me, I watched cities fall at your word and my own foolish belief that I could somehow atone for Remus Lupin's death. I watched hundreds- no thousands of children die at your command, always I was watching, always I was helpless to stop it. And now I find that all I am capable of doing is evil. I am the very monster I sought to destroy, and yet I am the happiest I have ever been. Explain this to me master, please explain this twisted phenomenon!" He begged his eyes wide. It had bothered him…the brief glimpses of Sirius in the mirror, or the enamel of a vase or a puddle in the rain. Sirius' appearance had lead him to a startling train of thought and more then once he'd woken up screaming in the middle of the night. That dream. Voldemort looked at him for a moment later before releasing him and pulling away. That was another thing- the man had been utterly dismissive about Harry's panic attack.
"You're still tired I see pet." How many times had the man said that to him this past week? The man hardly touched him, hardly spoke to him, damn near ignored him! He was tired? He clenched his jaw and looked away.
"Of course Heruamin, forgive me." He said his shoulders sagging. After all…he was nothing more than a kicked puppy wasn't he? Voldemort's 'Dark Prince' what a joke. He was nothing more than a pawn. Again. He was given that position to ensure that he stayed beside Voldemort, as his horcrux, as his enemy, lover, and so called friend. But most of all he was there, because he was the man's trophy.
"Come pet, our assistance has been requested in the hall of mirrors." Voldemort said brushing aside the whole scene. Harry straightened himself drawing back his shoulders, placing a blank expression on his face as he stepped aside opening the door for the man.
"Yes, Heruamin." He said quietly. Voldemort didn't look at him as he slipped out of the room and Harry couldn't help but smile wryly at that before following behind. The man continued forward silently for a time as they strode down the hallways until they reached the elevators and stepped inside only speaking once the doors slid shut.
"Have you found me a bride yet Ares?" He asked calmly his voice deceptively smooth. Harry felt a shiver slither down his spine. When had things become this way between them? Or had it always been this way and Harry had been too blind to see it? He had always been hyperaware of the man- there wasn't a moment that the man didn't occupy his thoughts or dictate his actions. His heart felt tired, tired of feeling all these conflicting things for the man.
"I found three potential brides." He said his voice brisk and business like. "Their files are in my office and I have already arranged for them to be at the ministry gala I can show you at your convenience." He said just as the bell chimed and the doors slid open. Harry watched Voldemort's lips twist into a smirk his eye lids drooping as he stepped through the doorway. Harry followed smoothly after his breath catching slightly as the dim blue lighting was reflected in a million different directions by the various mirrors.
"Don't stare too long Ares, these mirrors are here for a reason- they're dangerous." Voldemort said glancing at them warily before stepping forward. Harry licked his lips and swallowed a foreboding feeling rising in his chest. There! That pulse…! The one he'd felt in the bathroom! He snapped his head to the side where a large full body mirror sat and met blue-grey eyes. Sirius…He forced himself to move his eyes dragging along the surfaces even as his mind rebelled.
"Why are we here?" He asked praying that his voice didn't waver as Sirius seemed to ripple and appear and several different surfaces.
"The Unspeakables requested that we take a look at the mirrors, several accidents have been happening and I for one would like to know why." Voldemort said his eyes narrowed. Harry pulled his eyes away from Sirius' shadowed form his breath catching in a soft gasp as they came upon a large circle.
"Ah! My lord!" Harry glanced at the tall muscular man and his eyes met blue ones, slowly Sirius raised his hand and pointed to the other side of the circle. Harry frowned thoughtfully and slowly turned his gaze in the direction that the man was pointing. His eyes nearly missed their intended target, but even in this form, after this long, it was impossible to miss it- the mirror of Erised. His heart beat loudly in his ears and his feet moved without his permission the sound of his heels hitting the cold stone floor loud, blocking out whatever Voldemort and the man were talking about. Sirius stood in the mirror beside it and nodded his head slowly when he glanced up suddenly frightened of what he might see. What was his heart's desire? Did he even have one? His skin felt clammy as he forced himself to look into its depths.
"Ares…Ares!" But he was frozen eyes wide staring forward into the mirror- staring into haunted green eyes. In the background he could see Voldemort, happy, carefree as he tended to his family. Full pink lips that no longer belonged to him twisted into an understanding smile as a whimper left his lips and his hand stretched out. He watched like a lost child as the reflection of Harry Potter pulled out a dangerous looking knife. His hand brushed the cool rippling surface and a loud ringing filled his ears as the knife slid purposefully across Harry Potter's frail neck, only, it wasn't Harry Potters' neck only, but his as well. The image in the mirror flickered and tears dripped down his cheeks as he watched his family reach out for him, he fell slowly, fluidly, graceful even in this moment. Vaguely he thought he could hear shouting and something warm and strong was embracing him.
He was dying…
Tears slid down his cheeks as he slowly dazedly met wide red eyes.
Survive.
No.
Master.
"S-sorry." He mouthed tears slipping down his cheeks as the realization that he would not make it became clear in both their understanding. His eyelids felt heavy. He was so tired. So…tired…
Heruamin…
Forgive me.
There was a sound, soft and soothing in the dark…bells…small tinkling bells.
It was time to go.