CHAPTER TWENTY-FRIGGIN'-FIVE, (IN YA FACES, LOSERS), CAN I GET A HALLELUJAH PLEASE.

Thank ye. Aaaaaaaall of ye.

*Wiggles eyebrows suggestively*

I'm just gonna stop before I embarrass myself further.

Good writers borrow from other writers. Great writers steal from them outright - Aaron Sorkin

"Holy shit."

"Oh my God."

"Merlin's balls." Someone from within the crowd half-yelled in shock. "Are those bloody helicopters?"

More muttering.

"I thought they were some fairytale."

"Fuckin' purebloods." Harry muttered. He stumbled when Hermione leaned heavily on him.

"I'd resent that," Draco said slowly, "But even I can't say it's not true."

"I can't believe they told the police." Hermione said, purposely leaning more of her weight on Harry. "There's no way they'll ever be able to Obliviate all of them now." She lifted an arm so a shivering Luna could huddle closer. Luna gave Draco a hesitant grin.

"Your fangs make you look badass." She glanced at Hermione for confirmation. "I think that's the word."

Harry actually giggled. Draco grinned, baring his newly acquired fangs. "Yeah, Lu, that's the word." He wrinkled his nose. "It still stinks like a gutter here, though."

Hermione looked around at the crowd, searching out their rescuers. "Guess calling the police was necessary, seeing as we're stranded on an island. Speaking of, this island is more likely to collapse under everyone's before we all fit in the helicopters."

"There aren't even that many." A student complained, having overheard her. Hermione hummed in agreement.

"There's Remus." Draco said loudly between the murmuring of the crowd, pointing towards the sandy-haired man directing students and smaller children into helicopters. Harry waved hard and frowned when he wasn't noticed. A paramedic was wading through the crowd, passing out cloaks to everyone wearing hospital gowns.

"Can you see Bio Dad?" Harry asked, looking around again. Hermione snorted.

"Of all the things you could call Professor, it was Bio Dad? Seriously?"

"Ooooh, I wonder if Sirius is here."

"Ugh," Hermione moaned. "We're supposed to be in shock. And we're not. Which speaks so much for our lives."

"Why should we be in shock?" Luna asked, narrowing her eyes at a paramedic when he draped a blanket over her shoulders. "Doesn't that only happen when you've been through a traumatic experience?"

"Yeah, well. The Muggles don't know that. Or maybe it's just adrenaline, I can't even tell." Hermione squinted. "Oh my God, even the paramedics are Muggle. This is like- my god, we're going to be revealed on the frucking TV."

Harry paused and stared at her. "Frucking?"

"Don't give me that look, it was a slip of tongue, I'm panicking." She replied scathingly. "Besides, you think I'm joking? Look up, assbutt, those are people from news stations."

"I- assbutt?!"

"Shut up, you were watching Supernatural with me."

"Well, look who's here," Draco drawled. "Harry's biggest fan."

Harry whipped his head around to look where Draco was pointing.

"Holy mother of the Winchester brot-"

"She burned, Harry."

"That's Rita shitting Skeeter."

Hermione turned to look with wide eyes. "Oh my ever-loving chocolate - is that Narcissa with her?"

Draco grunted when Luna scrambled onto his back to get a better view. "Oh look, they're fighting."

"Seriously?"

As they ventured closer, they could make out loud voices, as the women were a bit far off from the roaring of the helicopters. A small crowd had formed around them and were watching the woman scream at each other silently. They managed to reach the front of the crowd, just as Narcissa whipped out her wand from her coat pocket, brandished it something akin to a sword, and sent Rita flying onto the water surrounding them. Which resulted with a major portion of the crowd backing away from the seething woman.

Harry cast Hermione a sideways glance. "if you tried, you could take her out of the water, right?"

"I think the real question is whether or not I'd care enough. Even I don't have enough good in my heart to pull her out. You'd think after nearly five years you'd know how my mind works, but noooooo. Stupid head."

Luna frowned at her. "Are you sure you're alright? Your insults are get less creative by the second." She started again before anyone could answer. "Oh look, that woman looks like Hermione, even with her short hair, don't you think?"

Hermione stilled at the sight of said woman. "...Oh. Ahahahaha. Excuse me guys."

Luna let go of Draco's back. "I'd like to meet her mother." She skimpered off after Hermione.

"Aren't you going? Introduce yourself as her future son-in-law or something." Harry said, wiggling his eyebrows at Draco. "Or hey, maybe when we're back at Bella's, 'cause even I can see this isn't the best place to have a meet-the-parents dinn- Ow dude, what the hell?"

"Shut. Up. Fucking hell, I don't even know why I talk to you. Would you like it if I shouted to Rita Skeeter that Harry Potter is in love with Luna Lovegood and he can't grow a pair and kiss her?" Draco shot Harry a nasty smirk when Harry shut his jaw with an audible click. "Yeah, that's what I thought."

"At least I told her how I feel, jerk face." Harry muttered. Draco snorted.

"You and I both know that me and Hermione don't do feelings. Can you even imagine us sitting and having a talk about you two, let alone our feelings?" He sighed when Harry made a face. "Exactly."

Harry punched Draco's arm lightly. "Fine, I'll let it go for now. But seriously, you will have to talk about it, don't think it'll go away or something." He rolled his eyes when Draco glared. "Come on, your mom looks like she's gonna pull her hair out." After a second, he added, "And I'm going to tell her about your new swearing habit."

"I'll contact Luna's father and tell him your forcing yourself on his daughter, and we'll see who he'll believe, hmm?"

"Take a joke, Malfoy."

"Yeah, learn to make one, assh- why, hello Mother, fancy seeing you here."

Kingley's hands went for the side handle as the helicopter lurched again. He narrowed his eyes at the pilot, who was just barely holding himself from cackling.

"This was a terrible idea," Venusia Crickerly said, legs tight together and gritting her teeth. "I told you we should have just sent a few Aurors, and they could have pinpointed the location and we could have port ke-"

"Relax, Fruitcake, he's not gonna let us fall," Tonks grinned, enjoying the way the wind was roaring. "And no offense, but I don't think anyone would care if a certain few members fell anyway."

"Not that it'd matter with you guys," Their pilot snorted into his headset. "What with all the magic wands and shit."

Tonks flashed their young pilot a grin before hopping off the helicopter as they neared the ground, Kingsley and the other aurors getting off slowly, at a far too considerate pace.

"Chickens," She said loudly, smiling cheerfully. She looked around randomly at a few students, her eyes slowly narrowing as they landed on Remus, who was ushering the younger kids into helicopters. Face quickly losing all cheer, she stormed over to help him.

Tonks beamed at him, her features slowly morphing to take on Remus's face. "Hey, Fur butt."

To say Remus was shocked to see his face on a woman's body was quite an understatement.

"Do I know you?" He asked very carefully, because he was quite sure he was dealing with a woman, and although he's only had about five or less women in his life, they'd all been terrifying. He winced as his own face turned murderous.

"Um?" Was his intelligent answer. Question, rather.

That seemed to turn his other's hair red, and that caused it to click.

"Tonks! Tonks, right? Sorry for locking you in the bathroom, I'm not really great at figuring out how to maintain people."

Tonks begrudgingly shifted back. "What gave it away?"

"You're hair was on fire when we dragging you to the bathroom."

Tonks seemed strangely mollified at that.

I'll never understand women.

They worked in silence after that for a good half hour, separating people into age-wise groups, youngest going into helicopters first, along with the ones who needed medical attention.

"Do you want to make it up to me?" She asked suddenly.

Remus refrained from giving her a suspicious look. "Sure."

"Buy me lunch sometime."

That... was not what he was expecting.

"Um." He blinked when she busied herself with another few students. The first helicopters that had left were circling back now. Remus could see Kingsley getting into a helicopter, probably to check on the other side.

"I, um. I mean, yes. Yes, I'll buy you lunch sometime." Please let the ground open up right now.

But Tonks only grinned.

A teenage girl settled into her seat and leaned forward so only Remus could hear. "Good luck, Professor."

Remus felt slightly nauseous.

Okie dokie, this is way below my average number of words, but I had to post something, so. Here we are.

I have officially gone past 30,000 hits, and damn if that wasn't the highlight of my day. Thanks guys.

Also, a reviewer asked about something between Remus and Sirius, and I'm hoping that'll be explained in the next chapter or maybe the one after that, so if you could wait that long, that's be fab.

I still don't have any news about my laptop, so we'll see where I go from here.

Ja.