Total Drama World Tour Chapter 25: Awwwwww, Drumheller!, a total drama series fanfic

Total Drama World Tour

Disclaimer: The rights of Total Drama Island belong to its distributors; Teletoon, Cartoon Network, Fresh TV, and Cake Entertainment. The characters of Chris McLean, Chef Hatchet, as well as the twenty-two original contestants, belong to the aforementioned companies. However, the original fourteen contestants that appear in this story belong to their creators. Two belong to me.

The song which is parodied in this chapter, "This Is How We Do It" belongs to Montell Jordan.

This fan fiction is rated T for moderate language, mild violence, and mild sexual themes. You have been warned.

Author's Note: My schedule arrived yesterday and I got all of the classes I was looking for! Aside from the usual classes, I'm taking Psychology and Economics. I asked for them both and I got them. I know none of you give two damns about my personal life and I'm pretty sure none of you even read these.

And to be perfectly honest, I only put these notations at the beginning to increase the word count and continue my OCD obsession of having a consistent layout for my chapters... I have no life.

Anyway, I hope that you all enjoy this chapter as much as you all did with the last one!

...

Awwwwww, Drumheller

(Narrated by Chris McLean.)

Last time on Total Drama World Tour...

The final five contestants were brought to the lovely Easter Island in Rapa Nui!

And while we were there, our old friends stopped by for a short visit. They each had something very important to our contestants!

As usual, we saw some bickering between Daniel and Lucian, Emma and Lucian, and Zane and Lucian. Poor Lucian, the dude only wants to help.

Unfortunately for him though, Emma crossed the moral event horizon and physically harmed herself and framed Lucian. Not cool, bra...

Let's just say that Daniel did not take too kindly to that...

Zane also seems to be hiding something. He's been acting weird around Jamie lately. What's happening?

In the end, everyone except Lucian voted for Lucian.

But he didn't leave without a fight... literally! He also left some strong words for Daniel to chew down...

Will Daniel believe what he said? Will we learn what's up with Zane? What's Emma planning next? More rhetorical questions!

It's the final four. Which one of them will dig up more trouble this week? Find out right now on Total... Drama... Wooooooorld Toooooooour!

(Narration by Chris McLean ends.)

Theme Song Is Played.

The final four were dining for breakfast in the cafeteria. In contrast to the usual sloppy airline food they were accustomed to, they were given a delightful plateful of pancakes and a side of bacon. Chef Hatchet had explained that he had run out of time to cook something disgusting for them, so he had just grabbed something form his and Chris' quarters.

Although a little annoyed at the reason for the treat, the contestants were still grateful beyond belief. They said their thanks to the cook and they immediately began to devour the delicious foods.

"This makes me wish I was at home," Daniel proclaimed, "because my mom would make this for me and my sister every morning."

"She sounds like a nice lady," Jamie said.

Emma nodded. "She was... well is. You don't remember meeting her in New York?"

Jamie smacked his forehead. "Oh, right. That was just so long ago I forgot. Wow, it was a long time ago."

He turned to Zane, who had just finished his fourth and final piece of bacon. "Zane, how long ago were we in New York?"

Zane grinned at the lovely memories he had of the city. "I'd say about three months."

Daniel nodded. "That's probably accurate. It was hot when we arrived to New York and now it's a bit cooler."

"You know the temperature of New York isn't consistent with that of every other place in the world, right?" Emma asked.

Daniel chuckled. "I know that. But I said that because my mom posted a picture with her and Valarie in Central Park; they were both wearing windbreakers."

"How did you see that?" Jamie asked as he poured maple syrup on his pancakes.

"I got bored last night so I snuck onto Chris' laptop," Daniel explained. "The dude has got to get a better password than 'Chris'."

Everyone shared a good laugh at the host's lack of logic and then quickly went back to eating their breakfast.

Jamie suddenly asked, "So why did you guys sign up for the show?"

Daniel smirked. "I was going to try and go pro. But after hearing about poor Aidan's dad, I decided to give half of the money to him. He and his uncle need it more than me and my family does. That way he can use it to hire that private investigator he told me about."

"You have such a good heart," Emma said, smiling.

Daniel blushed. "Yeah, well, I try, you know?"

Jamie took sip from his coffee. "Emma, why did you join?"

The actress giggled. "To be honest, I don't know what I would spend it on. I'd probably pay a producer to put me in a Broadway play. That would be so awesome."

"I'll make sure to catch your performances," Daniel said, chuckling.

"Thanks, Danny!"

Jamie smiled at the happy pair of friends. "I'd use it to launch my career as an author. And I'll give everyone on the show a free copy!"

"That's really cool, dude," Daniel complimented.

Jamie acknowledged the compliment with a nod and turned to Zane. "What about you, Big Z? How are you going to spend the money if you win?"

Zane looked up from his plate. He looked to the side nervously. "I don't know... Yeah, I don't know."

Jamie shrugged. "Okay, dude." He got up and stretched. "So, do you want to come back to first class with me?"

(In the Jumbo Jet, Elimination Room)

Instead of their usual meeting spot in the dirty corner of the economy class section of the plane, Zane and Emma were standing in their original meeting spot — the Drop of Shame. It had been a long night for the both of them. Jamie had invited Zane to stay with him in first class and had kept him up all night talking about his new favorite book, "The Red Badge of Courage".

Similarly, Emma had been kept awake by Daniel going on about how the Yankees were going to "totally own the next season" (his words). Zane had no interest in reading, nor did Emma have any interest in sports, but the two of them played along for their own reasons. Zane honestly did it to make Jamie happy and Emma wanted to further gain Daniel's trust... before she crushed it.

Thankfully, the breakfast they were just served did well to wake them up.

"How's your fourth phase going?" Zane asked.

Emma crossed her arms and replied, "Very good. Actually, there's been a change of plans."

Intrigued, Zane raised a brow. "What do you mean by that?"

"I've decided that Jamie is a much bigger threat than Daniel is," she explained.

Zane's eyes widened. He nervously tapped his fingers together. "What?"

The actress nodded. "Isn't it obvious? He's in decent physical shape. He's popular. He's smart," she scoffed. "And it's almost obvious he's going to play the oppressed minority card."

"Jamie's not that kind of guy," Zane barked. "He wouldn't play that card just to get votes... Though I'm sure YOU would play the 'poor hurt girl' card, even though you did it to YOURSELF."

Emma just laughed and shook her head. "Zane, Zane, Zane. You're forgetting that I'm in charge here. I could easily sabotage Jamie in this challenge and convince that idiot Daniel to vote him off. I'll just tell him how huge of a threat he is and how not of a threat you are. That's two votes. Even with your vote and Jamie's vote, if it ends up in a tie, Daniel or I could easily crush him."

Zane crossed his arms. "What if I refuse to vote for Jamie?"

"Then I'll just reveal your little secret to the whole world."

Zane's eyes widened further. "You... you wouldn't!"

"I would."

The brown-haired boy scoffed. "You're sick, you know that? You've done some bad stuff in the past... but this... this is just evil!"

"So shall I say it to the cameras during the challenge or in the confessional?" Emma asked, smirking.

"Go /censored/ yourself," Zane snapped. "I wouldn't do that to a friend."

Emma laughed. "You just called Jamie 'a friend'... That's cute."

"What are you talking about?" Zane snapped, glaring at Emma.

Little did the two of them know, Jamie had left the first class section to check on Zane — He had claimed he was going to the bathroom, but he was taking a while. Being the kind person he was, Jamie took it upon himself to see if he was alright.

"You don't care about Jamie," Emma said. "You were just using him."

Jamie gasped. However, neither Zane nor Emma heard this. The author hid behind a crate, eager to hear the rest.

"And even if I was, so what?" Zane argued. "You used way more people. You used the friendship of Holly and Daniel; you blackmailed Lucian and Aria; and you stabbed Xavier in the back."

Jamie's eyes widened upon learning this information.

"And you orchestrated Georgie's elimination," Emma pointed out.

"Hey, you played just a big of a role as I did," Zane snapped. "Heck, it was your stupid idea in the first place!"

"Stupid?" Emma scoffed. "It caused the elimination of three huge threats. You call that stupid?"

Zane glared at the evil blonde. "Considering it came from you, yes, it is stupid."

"As stupid as Jamie is for believing you two were friends?" Emma scoffed.

Before Zane could say anything, he saw something out of the corner of his eye — Jamie was tearing up. Zane stepped forward, stammering out something to say.

"Jamie, I—" Zane began.

Jamie didn't say anything in response. Instead he just ran away, out of the elimination room with his hands covering his face. Jamie hated being seen crying, especially on camera.

"Well, this turned into a very fun experience?" Emma said, laughing.

Zane turned to Emma with a confused and disgusted look on his face. "He knows about everything you did too."

"So? It's not like Daniel will believe him."

Realizing he was defeated, Zane sighed. "One day you're going to regret being so terrible, Emma, one day."

"When will you?"

Zane sighed and pulled something out of his pocket — the orange soda pin Jamie had given him. "I already have."

He pinned it back on his shirt and ran off to find Jamie. He started calling his name. "Jamie? Jamie!"

Emma laughed. "What an idiot... time for phase five."

(In the Jumbo Jet, Bathroom Confessional)

Daniel leaned against the back of the confessional with his arms resting behind his head. He flashed a cocky smile at the camera. "I've got to say, getting to the final four is totally shocking. Like, I thought that maybe I'd make it to the final seven, but this is so sweet! Don't worry, Aidan that money's coming for you!"

...

Jamie sniffled. A single tear rolled down his cheek. He wiped it away and sighed. "I can't believe it... I really thought Zane would be my friend and... I thought he accepted me for who I was... and Lucian was right about Emma? This is just unbelievable ... But you know what? I'm done! No more Mr. Nice Jamie. The metaphorical gloves are coming off! Don't worry, future author me that money's coming for you!"

...

Zane sighed."Damn it... I really screwed things up now. I may have used Jamie in the past, yeah, but I'm genuinely his friend now! Honest to God! Of course he had to walk in at that exact moment and hear things out of context... God, I'm such an idiot." He sighed deeply. "Well, I've still got to make my family proud..." He faced the camera. "We'll eat again. Don't worry, folks that money's coming for us!"

...

Emma flipped through a magazine with a yacht on the cover. She stopped on a page with a large pink yacht and smiled. "Mmm, this will go GREAT with the pink live vests I'll order. Don't worry, yacht, that money's coming for you!"

(Alberta, Canada - Drumheller)

After they had gotten quickly showered and dressed, the final four contestants were led, by Chris, from the dining hall to outside the plane. They noticed that it was very warm outside, especially for spring weather. Chris McLean didn't seem to mind. He was still wearing his long pants and double-layered shirt.

"Welcome to Drumheller, Alberta," Chris said proudly, "a world heritage site. It has the wickedest collection of dinosaur bones on the planet. In front of you is a giant pit with lots of super ancient dino bones. Grab whatever bones you can find to make your very own live sized dino. I'm calling it 'Design-a-saurus'."

Everyone groaned at the terrible pun and smacked their foreheads.

Chris was either being sarcastic or was so self-absorbed that he had missed the negative reaction altogether. "I know, they should pay me just to come up with titles," he said, grinning. "I'm that good."

"If that was your job," Zane muttered, "you'd probably have been fired after the first episode."

Ignoring the remark, Chris continued to explain the rules. "You have two minutes to rifle through the plane's cargo hold to help build your creations. Aaand go!"

Daniel and Emma ran quickly to the plane, with the former opening the door to the cargo hold. Jamie was about to walk ahead to them, but something tugged on his sleeve and stopped him.

He looked behind him and frowned. Zane was the one holding his sleeve. Jamie didn't say anything, but gave a very sour look to Zane.

"Jamie, dude if you would just let me explain—" Zane started.

Jamie didn't want to hear whatever Zane had to say; he freed his arm from Zane's grip and quickly ran off to the plane.

Zane, who was now alone, sighed deeply and slowly walked over to the plane.

(In the Jumbo Jet, Cargo Hold)

Daniel was in the process of looking through a bin of various tools, such as hammers and nails and screwdrivers. It was questionable whether or not these could be useful in constructing a fake dinosaur, but he seemed to have an idea, because he already had a significant pile of tools down next to him.

"This is going to be a piece of cake," he said, grinning. "I got an 'A' in woodshop class last year."

Emma giggled. "I don't think that's going to be very useful when working with bones and dirt, Danny."

The fighter shrugged. "Hey, I've got to get the bones to stay together somehow, right?"

"They just attach together," Jamie pointed out. "How do you think the bones in our body are able to stick together?"

Daniel smiled. "You're smart. I wish I had paid attention in health class."

Zane noticed the opportunity to engage with Jamie, so he quickly took that opportunity. "You know, I learned some interesting stuff in my health class too, like—"

"Like how to break a heart?" Emma sniped.

Daniel raised a brow. "Did Jamie finally catch on that Zane didn't care about him and was using him?"

Emma had to bite down on her tongue to refrain from bursting out laughing at the irony of his statement.

"Yes," Jamie said quietly, looking at a box that he was sure wasn't there a few moments ago. He dismissed the thought and turned to face Daniel. "Say, do you know what irony is, Daniel?"

Emma's eyes bugged out scared that he might be the one to reveal her.

"Yeah," Daniel confirmed. "Isn't it like when you're trying to point something out by saying to opposite?"

Jamie nodded, "Sort of."

"Why do you ask?"

"Just curious," Jamie lied.

Daniel nodded and quickly went back to collecting his tools. He had fathered what he needed and carried to pile out of the room. Emma had elected upon constructing her dinosaur with no additional tools aside from a book she brought from home, and she promptly left the cargo hold. Jamie and Zane were thus left alone.

"Can we talk now?" Zane asked.

Jamie didn't say anything. He picked up a knife and a white sheet and left the cargo hold.

Once again, Zane let out a deep sigh and followed Jamie out, deciding upon not using any other tools either. Right as he reached the door, he got an idea and quickly ran back into the cargo hold.

Finding fossils and bones had been rather easy for the contestants; some of them, in fact, were practically just lying about. Others though, which were larger and of more fierce dinosaurs, were hidden underground. Luckily, they were all smart enough to use a larger bone to dig in the dirt. The four contestants went off to construct their own creations; this took about forty-five minutes.

Chris arrived at the scene. "Times up!" he exclaimed. "Now we'll begin the amazing tour through the ages of imaginary dinosaurs. Let's start with Emma."

Emma's was an Ammasaurus with Macbeth in its mouth. "I could do better than imaginary. It is in fact based on to Ammasaurus, however, due to some additions; I have dubbed it the Emmasaurus."

Impressed by the realism and creative word play, Jamie and Daniel marveled at her creation. "Wow," they said simultaneously.

"It's going to be tough to beat that right out of the gate," Chris commented. "Danny-boy, you're up."

Daniel's dinosaur had no identifiable name, because he had ended up using various parts from different kinds of dinosaurs. Of course he was completely oblivious to this. In the dinosaur's vastly different sized hands were several tools. It had a tool belt around is stomach and was also wearing a construction hat.

"I call it the Fix-a-saurus," Daniel declared proudly.

"What's a dinosaur supposed to build?" Chris scoffed. "A dinosaur... place? I hate it."

Daniel raised a brow. "What is a dinosaur supposed to do with a book?" he asked, referring to Emma's dinosaur. "They can't read!"

"This is a fake dinosaur," Chris explained. "So it can do whatever Emma wants it to do."

Confused and annoyed, Daniel stammered out, "So her fake dinosaur can read, but mine can't build stuff?"

"Yes!"

Defeated, Daniel crossed his arms and mumbled to himself about how "this thing was totally rigged."

"In-Zane in the Membrane, what do you got?" Chris asked.

Zane pointed proudly to his dinosaur. It resembled a Stegosaurs. However, this was not easy to tell, as there was a headshot of Jamie where the dinosaur's face should be. There was a notebook and a pen in the hands. Jamie's kittens were also resting on the back of the dinosaur.

"Meet the Jamie-sarus," Zane declared, "erected in the image of one Jamie Guererro. It has his three beloved pets and his favorite hobby shown. Like it?"

"That's sweet," Chris grinned. "What do you think Jamie?"

Because he had not viewed and edited the footage yet, Chris was unaware of the situation and his statement and question had been genuine.

Jamie didn't say anything; he just kicked a rock to the side.

"Okay," Chris said slowly, a little put off by Jamie's lack of enthusiasm. "Speaking of Jamie, he's our last presenter. Show us what you've got, dude!"

Jamie took the white tarp off his creation and revealed it to be a Stegasarus. Instead of facing everyone else, the dinosaur was facing backwards, so its back was in full view. This brought the attention of the knife stuck in one of the scales

"Meet the Julius Sarus," Jamie said quietly, "a nod to Julius Caesar, who was stabbed in the back by his best friend."

Zane gulped and tugged at his collar.

"That was... interesting," Chris said sarcastically. "Alight, it's Judgment Day! Which dinos will survive and which ones will be driven to extinction? Oh, and I did I mention who the very special judges are? You... with a pretty shocking twist of course."

Emma groaned. "It's always bad when he uses a pun."

"With Chris, a pun means certain death," Daniel added in.

Chef Hatchet wheeled out a large wooden chair with a strange device attached at the top. It was shaped like a helmet, so it was apparent that the device would be placed on the individual's head to monitor their brain waves, thus determining if their claim was truth or false. Daniel was "volunteered" by Chris to cast his vote first.

"It's time to vote for your favorite dino," Chris said. "Can't vote for your own, of course, and you might want to tell the truth... just saying."

"I'm no liar," Daniel declared.

"Just to be sure," Chris said, grinning, "we need to have some control questions so the machine will know what your brain waves look like when you lie or tell the truth."

Daniel shrugged. "My shirt is grey."

Chris entered in the "lie" formula and the chair immediately zapped Daniel.

"Ouch!" Daniel cried. "Jesus, that hurts!"

Chris chuckled. "That's awesome. Now say something truthful."

Daniel groaned. "Chris, I want to punch you in the face SO hard right now."

The helmet dinged and the light bulb on the top of the helmet turned on.

"Wow, thanks," Chris grumbled. "Just... say who you want to win the challenge, okay?"

Daniel nodded. "Emma's actual dinosaur was friggin' awesome, so I HAVE to pick her."

Once again, the helmet dinged and the light bulb turned on.

Emma smiled. "Thanks, Danny! You're a sweetie."

"Next!" Chris shouted to Zane, shattering his (and everyone else's ear drums). "You're up, Zane!"

Zane strapped himself into the chair and after Chris programmed in the formula for the lie said: "I hate Evanescence." Then for the truth control answer said "I love Evanescence."

"Isn't that a girly emo band?" Chris asked, trying to further antagonize Zane.

"I hate you," Zane snapped.

The light bulb flashed on. Chris frowned. "Just... Just say who you want to win and get out of my chair."

Zane said, "My vote goes to Jamie. His really was the best."

Again, the light bulb flashed on. However, Jamie did not acknowledge him.

Chris nodded. "Jamie, you're up, little man."

Jamie strapped himself into the machine and when Chris asked for the truth statement, said "My heart is broken." When asked for the false statement said "Big Z is my friend."

Due to him becoming aware of Zane's treachery and Emma's true colors, Jamie was about to vote for Daniel, but then he realized that he did not want to be electrocuted. He would have to tell the truth eventually, so he thought that he might as well start with it and avoid unnecessary injury.

"Emma's having an actual dinosaur was pretty cool," Jamie said, sighing. "So I have to vote for her."

Emma was the last person to be strapped into the machine. She became very nervous when she was asked to say a truth question for the control. Due to her experience with quick-thinking, due to being an actress (she had done improv quite a few times), she quickly blurted out "I am an actress." Her lie statement would be much more difficult. She said nervously, "I have red hair." The machine registered both answers.

"I'd like to vote for Daniel," she began, "his dinosaur's tools might come in handy... get it? Guys with tools are called... handymen... Screw you guys, Daniel thinks I'm funny."

"Haha, handyman," Daniel chuckled. "Classic!"

Chris turned to the group and announced, "As the winner, Emma gets this handy dandy post digger."

Emma gasped in delight and gladly took the post digger from Chef Hatchet.

The host otherwise known as McLean pointed to four large barrels. "The interns were supposed to bury these barrels full of maple syrup, sugar, spiders, and rattlesnakes..."

To prove his point, Chris knocked on one of the barrels. A loud hiss was heard, causing the contestants to jump back in fear.

"Long story short, the interns buried our reserve fuel barrels instead," Chris snapped. He knocked one of the barrels onto the interns and the barrel opened up, causing the spiders and snakes to crawl all over them. They screamed in terror as they desperately tried to get the creepy crawlies off of themselves.

"Since Daniel and Jamie tied for second, I decide who gets the next reward," Chris continued. "I pick Jamie, just because I'm pissed at Daniel for those earlier comments. Anyway, Jamie, you get this rusty old prospector's kit. And Daniel takes third place."

Chris handed the fighter a small pail and shovel. "A kiddy pail and shovel?" he asked, annoyed.

"You're welcome," Chris said, grinning. "And for coming in dead last... Zane gets diddley squat."

Zane groaned and smacked his forehead. "Oh, come on."

Chris chuckled at the schemer's misfortune. "The first one back with a barrel of my oil wins immunity."

"How are we going to find a tiny barrel in this big area?" Daniel complained. "Ugh, it's impossible!"

"Quit your complaining," Chris said. "And oh, I forgot to mention. We'll be pummeling you with the occasional boulder...Haha... funny, right?"

Nobody laughed at the "joke", so Chris just blew a whistle and everyone scurried about to search for a barrel.

The sun beat down on Jamie's neck as he walked aimlessly about the badlands. He glanced at his pale and shovel, which had not been used yet. Both Emma and Daniel were still in sight and Jamie really just wanted to be alone right now. At least Zane wasn't near him...

"Hey, Jamie, wait up!"

"Crap," Jamie thought to himself. "Just ignore him."

Zane swung his arm around the irate author and flashed a smile at him. "That was a pretty nifty dinosaur you built. Who is it based off of? Julia Centaur?"

Jamie wanted to correct him so badly, but he was still very set in his ways about ignoring anything and everything Zane had to say to him. He said nothing in reply.

"We'll go with Julia Centaur," Zane joked. He wasn't trying to further alienate Jamie, obviously. Zane was no history buff, so his question was genuine. "So if Emma wins, we vote of Daniel. If he wins, we vote off Emma. What do you say? This will be the last vote. What do you say? For old time's sake."

Jamie stopped in his tracks and bent down. He started digging. When he scooped the dirt into his shovel, he purposefully flung it back at Zane and it hit him in the face. Zane sputtered and spit out the dirt. Normally, he would have yelled at someone for doing something like that to him. But he normally, especially would not want to have Jamie be upset with him.

Zane started digging using his hands. He wasn't making much progress. By the time he had even made a dent in the ground, Jamie was already at least two feet in. Zane sighed and tried to ignore the fact that he was being ignored.

"Maybe when we're chilling in first class together, we can read some of your stories together?" Zane suggested.

Jamie didn't reply.

"Or maybe we could play with your kittens?" Zane asked, hopeful.

Jamie didn't reply.

"Come on, dude," Zane whined, "I'm trying to make an effort here. I said I was sorry."

Finally, Jamie said something. "'Sorry' doesn't fix a broken heart."

"Jamie..."

"Leave me alone, okay?!" Jamie snapped.

Zane stood up. "You know what? Fine! I thought you were a forgiving, kind person, Jamie. But now I see I was wrong." Zane tossed something into Jamie's dirt hole. "I'll see you at the ceremony, Little J."

(In the Jumbo Jet, Bathroom Confessional)

Zane groaned. "I can't believe I snapped at him like that. He'll never forgive me now!" he slammed his head against the door. "God, I am such an IDIOT!"

After a few moments of pouting, Jamie put his shovel in the dirt hole and was about to dig when something caught his eye — the thing Zane had tossed in.

It was the orange soda pin he had given him so long ago.

Jamie sniffled, placed the pin back in his pocket, and got right back to work...

...Until a giant boulder nearly smashed him to death.

"What the /censored/ was that?" Jamie shouted, terrified.

Meanwhile, by the Jumbo Jet, Chef Hatchet was loading a boulder onto a catapult. The boulder was rather heavy, so he was sweating bullets as he struggled to lift it up and onto the device. Even a man with muscular arms like Hatchet would struggle in lifting something so heavy.

Hatchet decided to rest and leaned against the boulder before he would pull the lever, which would send the boulder to an unsuspecting teen.

"This is the life," Chris proclaimed as he took a sip of his drink. Based on the way he was speaking, it was more than likely an alcoholic one.

He pulled the lever. The boulder, along with Chef Hatchet, was sent flying into the air. Chris' eyes widened. "Uh oh..."

Quickly, the host had do divert the attention away from himself so he could aid Chef Hatchet without getting bad press. He ran to the Jumbo Jet and came out with a button and pressed it. A very loud ding was heard. Chris assumed everyone's ears perked up.

"Attention contestants," Chris shouted through a megaphone. "Wherever you are, stop what you're doing. Actually, keep doing it. But do it while singing."

DING DING!

This Is How We Dig It

Parody of "This Is How We Do It" by Montell Jordan

Daniel, Emma, Jamie, and Zane: This is how we dig it

This is how we dig it

La ra ra ra ra ra

This is how we dig it

La ra ra ra ra ra

Daniel: This is how we dig it, it's April first and I'll die of thirst

The season has been a wild ride

So I reach for the passport and I stamp it up

Voting off the person who I think really sucks

Zane won't win 'cause he's hated

Georgie's in the stand saying, "Dan, glad we dated"

It'll feel so good in first class tonight

Zane is dirt and Lucian lies

Chris: All the contestants forgot about the rules

You gotta get your dig on before you go get paid

So just shut up and throw your hands up

And just listen to Daniel say

Daniel: I'm uber pissed and it's all because

This is how we dig it

Lucian beat her like Chris Brown does

This is how we dig it

Zane: To you, girl, Emma, you owe me a favor

This is how we dig it

Emma: Quit talking smack, 'cause your acting whack

This is how we dig it

Zane: This is how we dig it, all hands are in the dirt

Yeah dig them using your hands, they're bare

If you're gonna win or just make it there

You see Jamie's been good to me ever since I was a lower-case Z

But now I'm a Big Z, the girls will see I got the money

A hundred-thousand bills, y'all

If you were from where I'm from then you would know

That I gotta get money or my family's fucked

Em, you'll get yours, 'cause we're all sore

Of your shit, the game you play

So just shut up and throw your hands up

And just listen to Daniel say

Daniel: I'm uber pissed, it's all because

This is how we dig it

Lucian beat her like Chris Brown does

This is how we dig it

Zane: To you, girl, Emma, you owe me a favor

This is how we dig it

Emma: Quit talking smack, 'cause your acting whack

This is how we dig it

Daniel: I'm uber pissed, it's all because

This is how we dig it

Lucian beat her like Chris Brown does, Chris brown does

This is how we dig it

Jamie: Holly, Aidan, all my homies

This is how we dig it

Wait till Zane shows his face at his high school track

This is how we dig it

Daniel: Check it out, oh, I'm pissed and because

This is how we dig it

Lucian beat her like Chris Brown does

This is how we dig it

Zane: To you Emma, girl, you owe me a favor

This is how we dig it

You can't show your face at your high school track

This is how we dig it

Daniel: I'm uber pissed, it's all because

This is how we dig it

Lucian beat her like Chris Brown does, Chris Brown does

This is how we dig it

Emma: Oh, it's diggin' time

This is how we dig it

Straight up thinking I'm gonna die

This is how we dig it

Zane: Oh, she'll owe me a favor, yeah

This is how we dig it

Emma: Oh, Zane doesn't like nobody

This is how we dig it

I'm finished now

Daniel was busy using his pickaxe to smash the hard dirt. He was doing very well actually. In about twenty minutes he was able to dig about six feet, but sadly had yet to find a barrel of oil. He found a very creepy looking skeleton, which Daniel was seriously hoping was placed by Chris to scare them.

"This sucks," he complained. "Chris could have picked a better place for the semi-finals, don't you think?"

Emma, who was right next to him, was making excellent progress with her post digger. However, because it was so loud, she didn't hear him. "Hmm?"

"I said Chris should have picked a better place for the semi-finals," he repeated.

"Definitely," Emma said, smiling. Before she could go back to digging, a thought crossed her mind. She turned to Daniel with her bright blue eyes and smiled at him. "Say, Danny?"

Daniel stopped digging for a moment. "Yeah?"

"You're now completely over Georgie, yes?" she asked.

He nodded.

"Now, you wouldn't be completely opposed to starting a new relationship, would you?" Emma continued.

Daniel shook his head. "I wouldn't. Heck, I'd love to have one. I could use some support."

"Good to hear."

"Why do you ask?"

"This is why."

Emma pressed her lips against Daniel's. The kiss lasted about fifteen seconds, but it felt like fifteen minutes to Daniel. He grabbed her head and tilted it back. He closed his eyes for the remainder of the kiss. Emma broke the kiss and smiled at Daniel as he stammered for a response.

"Wow," was all he could say.

"Is that all you have to say?" Emma giggled.

Daniel smirked. "Well, since I know what your questions mean now, I also say: yes."

Emma smiled back and hugged Daniel. Little did he know that she was now smirking deviously.

(In the Jumbo Jet, Bathroom Confessional)

Emma touched her lips and laughed. "Some boys are too easy. Oh, and the kiss? Terrible. God, I felt like I was kissing my uncle with the drinking problem."

...

Daniel sighed. "Wow..."

The fighter tossed his pickaxe aside for a moment to go and help Emma with her hole when he heard something. He looked over at where the axe landed and gasped. A black, oily liquid was seeping through the small hole. Daniel ran to it and started digging. Eventually, he uncovered a barrel.

"Yes!" he cheered.

Emma was furious, but masked it by smiling. "Oh, good for you, Danny."

"No, good for you," Daniel corrected her.

"What?"

He wheeled the barrel over to his "girlfriend." He smiled and swung his arm around her. "I'll find another one. It's got to be around her somewhere. You deserve it more."

Emma hugged Daniel and pecked him on the cheek. "You're a sweetheart."

Chris McLean and Chef Hatchet had a barbeque set up. A small grill had six hot dogs and three hamburgers in the process of cooking on them, with Chef eating a burger and Chris eating a hot dog — with mustard, he was very clear about that when he yelled at an intern for putting ketchup on it.

The host looked behind him, where he saw Daniel and Emma carrying two barrels. "Congratulations, you two! Who found it first?"

Before Emma could say anything, Daniel quickly answered, "She did."

Shocked but satisfied, Emma grinned.

Chris nodded. "Coolio. Emma, you win immunity. Sadly, you did not, Daniel. However, you can have a hot dog with us all. Just don't put friggin' ketchup on it, okay?"

"Um, okay," Daniel said, a little confused. "Is relish okay?"

He thought for a moment. "It is acceptable, yes."

Daniel nodded and squirted the bottle of relish onto his hot dog.

"YES!"

Jamie came up to the group with his barrel and put it in the pile with the others. "I may not have won, but I finished. That counts for something, right?"

Chris chuckled. "Not in the real world, buddy. Not in the real world. Say, where's your BFF?"

The dark-haired author groaned. "He's not my BFF anymore, Chris. Please stop talking about it."

"Talk about what?"

As if on cue, Zane arrived empty-handed. "I couldn't find a barrel, so I was going to come back here and use a bone as a digging tool. I guess I didn't win immunity?"

"Nope," Chris confirmed. "Emma did. Now cast those votes, people! Just don't vote for her."

(Several Hours Later, Bonfire Ceremony)

The usual tropical-themed set up was still present at the ceremony. However, instead of taking place inside the plane, the host and contestants were gathered right outside it. The contestants were sitting on metal barrels (not the fuel ones though, they were still by the plane) and Chris was standing in front of the bonfire.

Chris was holding a tray of passports and three marshmallows. "I've got a little season one tribute treat here for you," he said. "Remember, Emma has invincibility, so there better not be any votes against her. Emma, you get tonight's first marshmallow."

The host tossed the tasty treat to Emma, who happily caught it. "I remember watching the show and wanting to get one of these myself. Now it's finally happened."

Emma gladly ate her marshmallow, savoring every bite. She gave a side glare at Zane, who noticed and shot one back.

"Now, one of you received two votes while the other two received one each," Chris explained to the boys. "One of you will be taking the Drop of Shame once we reach cruising altitude... and you will be humiliated at not being in the final three."

Zane groaned. "Get on with it, McLean."

Chris glared at the strategist. "Tonight's second marshmallow goes Daniel, who received only one vote against him."

He tossed the second marshmallow to the happy fighter, who caught his marshmallow in his mouth and then proceeded to hug Emma, who was sitting on his lap.

"Jamie, Zane... This is the final marshmallow of the evening. One of you must take the Dock of Shame and ride the Boat of Losers..."

Everyone raised a brow. "Uh... Chris?" Jamie began.

Chris chuckled. "Sorry... I was getting a little nostalgic for a second there. Anyway, the final marshmallow of the evening goes... to...

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KA-BOOM!

Before Chris could say the name of the safe contestant, the loud explosion noise filled everyone's ears. They looked around to see where the heck it came from and everyone gasped in terror when they saw what exploded into their faces...

The Jumbo Jet.

"MY BEAUTIFUL PLANE!" Chris cried as he ran to the wreckage. "NO!"

The contestants ran quickly behind Chris to see what the heck happened. Their eyes widened when they saw who was sitting happily in the wreckage, covered in oil and smoke.

"Izzy?" Jamie asked.

The redheaded stowaway cackled. "Explosivo goes BOOM BOOM!"

Chris furiously grabbed Izzy by the shoulders. "Izzy, do you know what you've done goddamnit?"

"... No?"

"YOU'VE DESTROYED THE PLANE! YOU'VE RUINED MY SHOW!"

Izzy giggled. "Whoops."

Emma tapped Chris on the shoulder. "So, what got the boot? Jamie or Zane?"

The host groaned. "Oh, is that what you're worried about? Fine, whatever, it was ZANE! Are you happy?"

"What?" Zane gasped, shocked.

"So the final three?" Daniel asked. "It's Jamie, Emma, and me?"

Chris sobbed. "Is that all you heartless freaks care about? Izzy destroyed my plane!"

Jamie raised a brow. "How did you even get here? Chris threw you off the plane way back in Africa. We saw you leave!"

The redhead cackled. "I used the parachute to grab onto the landing gear. I climbed it and hid in the cargo hold. I hid in a box and survived by eating the rats."

"You ate rats?" Emma asked, disgusted.

"I knew I saw a box move," Jamie said, smiling.

Chris faced the camera and sighed. "Well, this was not my best day ever. Join us next time... There will be a next time, I'm just not sure what kind of show it will be or where... It will still be called Total... Drama... World Tour?" he then proceeded to sob hysterically.

...

(Earlier, Before It Exploded - In the Jumbo Jet, Bathroom Confessional)

Emma shook her head. "It was so easy to fool Daniel into voting with me. I at first thought that Daniel would be a big threat... but then I remembered how stupid he was. Then I realized that Zane might be more well-liked than me after all. So I fooled him into thinking I wanted to eliminate Jamie and made it look like he didn't even care about the little dork."

She stamped Zane's passport. "Bye bye, Zane."

...

Daniel cracked his knuckles. "Emma said that Zane should go. I'll agree for two reasons. One, Emma's a genius. Two, Zane's a douchecanoe." He stamped Zane's passport. "HA!"

...

Jamie sighed deeply. "Emma's immune... I don't want to vote for myself... and I don't know, I just can't bring myself to vote for Zane..." he sighed again and stamped Daniel's passport.

...

Zane stamped Jamie's passport. "He obviously doesn't consider me a friend anymore, so why should I?!"

...

End of Chapter Twenty Five/Episode Twenty Three

...

Next Location: Road trip!

Remaining Contestants: Daniel, Emma, Jamie.

Elimination Order: Xena, Lucian, Jerome, Shaylie, Aidan, Holly, Deylanie, Georgie, Xavier, Walter, Aria, Viktoriya, Lucian (again), Zane.

...

Team Incredible Chris: Aidan (Eliminated), Daniel, Xavier (Eliminated), Holly (Eliminated), Emma, Jerome (Eliminated)

Team Einstein: Walter, Deylanie (Eliminated), Shaylie (Eliminated, returns as intern), Lucian (Eliminated, will return), Viktoriya.

Team Equality: Jamie, Aria, Xena (Eliminated),Zane, Georgie (Eliminated)

Merge: Aria (Eliminated), Daniel, Emma, Jamie, Lucian (Eliminated), Viktoriya (Eliminated), Walter (Eliminated), Zane (Eliminated)

Author's Note: It's finally here, folks. The final three episodes that happen at the same time/right after one another. I am just as shocked. The end is NEAR! It's the final three! Make sure to vote for who will win in the poll on my profile!

Thanks for the reviews, everyone!