25. Selfish
The smiling mob looked at me expectantly wanting details of my day with Connor. I smiled back at them raising my eyebrows. They already knew what had happened. Between Alice, Edward, and whoever was most likely on Lina patrol that day, I was sure they already knew exactly what had happened throughout the course of the day.
"Sorry guys, she's not sharing today. She wants to keep this memory to herself for now." Edward explained from the back of the crowd.
I grinned wider and gave them all an exaggerated wink as I walked past them and made my way up to my room. I went straight to my dresser and got out my diary. I hadn't written in the thing in ages, but this was a day that I didn't want to forget. I spent the rest of the night writing about the things that happened and the feelings I had throughout my day with Connor. I was just finishing up and planning to get ready for bed when my cell phone alerted me that I had just received a text.
Meetings went great. Got time to talk or is it too late there?
It was nearing midnight and I knew that I should be getting to sleep, but I really wanted to hear how Seth's meetings had gone. It was obviously too involved to be covered sufficiently by texting. I sighed as I went into my contacts selecting Seth's cell and hit send.
"Hey there!" Seth answered more cheerfully than I had ever heard him before.
"Hi master of Hollywood!" I responded with a slight giggle. "So you had a good day I gather?"
"Nearly perfect."
"Only nearly? Why not absolutely perfect?"
"Absolutely perfect would be if I had someone out here to celebrate with me."
"Oh, so my cheerleading via the phone isn't good enough huh? I see how things are!"
He sighed a little, "Well sharing it with you definitely makes it better."
"Well it will be once you actually start sharing…so dish!"
He told me all about how arrogant and egotistical the guys had seemed when he first met them and how they had bristled when they saw him in person, but by the end of the meeting they were calling him son and raving about his ingenious ideas. He sounded so excited and euphoric and I couldn't help but beam for him. I was so proud of him and told him so several times.
After he had shared all of his elated experiences of the day he asked how mine had gone and I told him all about my drive with Connor. It felt a little strange to talk to him about it, so I didn't quite go into full detail. He listened quietly and said he was happy that I found someone that I enjoyed spending time with. He was kind and encouraging as usual, but some of the sparkle disappeared from his voice as we talked.
Yawns soon began to dominate the conversation after about forty minutes of sharing on both ends of the line and we decided it was time to call it a night. I went to my bed and nestled into my pillows replaying the events of my day in my mind. I thought of how lucky I was to have two people in my life that I could talk to so comfortably outside of my family. I was glad that my world was expanding beyond the confines of my parents and siblings. I fell asleep with a contented smiled on my face.
*~*~*~
The next morning I woke up and got ready for school. I ate breakfast with a small smile plastered on my face, still unwilling to share the details of my lovely day with Connor with my family. They really didn't know how to deal with my silence, so they eventually moved on to other topics and let me be as I went about my morning. Unfortunately driving was out of the question due to my shifting hand being incapacitated, so my father offered to drive me to school on his way in to the hospital.
We pulled in to the parking lot to find Connor parked next to my typical spot leaning on the trunk of his car waiting for me. When he saw us pull up in he smiled and waved. He came over to my door and opened it for me leaning down to greet my father.
"Hello Dr. Cullen."
"Hello Connor" my father responded with a smile. "Nice to see you, son."
"You too sir, and don't worry, I'll take good care of her today. Oh, and if you'd like, I can take her home after rehearsals tonight and save you guys a trip."
"Thank you, Connor, that's very kind of you to offer."
Connor offered me his hand and helped me out of the car taking my book bag from the floorboard and carefully closing the door to my father's car behind us. He smiled at me intertwining his fingers with those of my good hand and walked with me to the sophomore hall doors. Just before reaching the entryway we heard a shout from behind us. It was Lucas and Leighton running to catch up, both of them beaming us as they ran. Connor looked down at our hands and blushed for a moment with a slight frown, but quickly recovered.
Once they finally caught up Leighton was the first to speak, "Well, well look at you two so cozy." She said with a smile and a wink and then turned to Lucas, "Told you I was a good matchmaker."
I glanced over at Connor to see him blush even deeper and begin examining his feet with great interest.
Lucas rolled his eyes, "Yes, yes, you are the queen of the busybodies. Now can we please go inside and get settled so we can talk about next weekend. I really think we need to get some plans rolling for our rescheduled triple date before we all get too busy."
They walked past us and into the school as Connor and I watched them pass. We looked at each other and he shrugged and then led me into the school. He walked me to my locker and helped me unload my book bag and get my books out for my first class. I realized he must have actually been serious about the whole taking care of me thing as he carried my books for me to the commons.
We sat at the big circle table with the rest of the gang. As usual the snot squad was still sitting nearby, but they weren't included in the discussion we were having about weekend plans. It didn't take long for the warning bell to ring and Leighton offered to carry my books for me to class since Connor's class was on the opposite side of the building. He gave her a crooked smile that I hadn't actually seen before and thanked her for the help and then squeezed my hand lightly before letting it go and said he would see me in Trig as we parted ways.
The morning seemed to crawl along at a horribly slow pace. Without the constant distractions of being with Connor, I was beginning to find that the brace was more than a little annoying and was making my wrist itch. After first hour Leighton walked with me to my locker where Connor was waiting to help me with my books for Trig. All day long I found that if Connor wasn't standing outside a class waiting to help me to my next class that he had arranged for someone else to help instead. I thought it was going overboard. I did have one good hand after all and my books weren't all that heavy, but it was still very sweet.
My father sent a note to school with me to be excused from P.E. for the week so I wasn't made to dress and was allowed to sit with the rest of the class and watch as they finished physical fitness testing. I was glad it was testing so I didn't have to sit alone and watch everyone else. It would have been lonely and extremely boring. Instead I got to sit with Connor and the rest of the group as we kept discussing our plans for the next weekend.
After school was our first play rehearsal. As Connor and I walked down the aisle toward Mrs. J she saw my sling and began to freak out. I tried to calm her by explaining that I only had a fracture that should be healed in a week, but it was of little solace to the highly strung director. She finally calmed down after what seemed like an eternity of melodrama and brought our first rehearsal to order explaining the rehearsal schedule and expectations. Our first day was dedicated to being measured for costumes and instructed on things we need to do to prepare for the production. We were all instructed to begin learning our lines as we waited for our turn to go back stage for measurement and styling consultations.
I was one of the last cast members called back and was told to stand in front of a table of three individuals and turn slowly. They discussed various issues that needed to be addressed in costume design and styling. They discussed my body flaws and informed me that I had to dye my hair blonde. It was one of the most humiliating and frustrating thirty minutes of my life. It's not like girls don't have enough self confidence problems without a panel of snobs pointing out any and every imperfection…as if the residents of this small town expected perfection in a high school performance anyway! I listened trying not to take their suggestions to heart and was greatly relieved to be dismissed.
As Connor drove me home we compared our experiences behind stage. I was somewhat relieved to know that he was nearly as humiliated as I was. I couldn't believe how much they had nitpicked every little detail about the handsome boy next to me. In my opinion, he was far more attractive than any of the actors that I had ever seen in the role. He was just as upset over some of the things that had been said to me. It felt good to be able to vent to one another and encourage one another, and before I knew it I was home.
After supper and homework I took the time to text Seth and see how day two in LA was going. He called me back and we had a long conversation about our day. I didn't have much to tell besides sharing my humiliation in front of the advisory board at rehearsals and how pathetic I felt having everyone taking care of me at home and at school. I loved hearing about his day though. He had gotten to meet three major movie stars that were going to be in the movie during some photo shoots that were going to be used for the site he was producing and he also got to actually see a taping of a major pivotal scene in the movie on the studio back lot. I could tell he was having the time of his life. His day was capped off when he got to go to this majorly exclusive club with the director and two producers.
"Wait…what time is it there?"
"Nine, why?"
"You're already back from going out to an exclusive club? Isn't it a bit early?"
"Oh, no, actually I'm still here. I'm sitting out in the limo."
"What?! Are you nuts…you're out on the town in Hollywood hobnobbing with the film industry elite and you decide to ditch them and go sit in a car to talk to me?"
"Eh…They don't even know I'm gone and besides, sharing it all with you is half the fun. Like I said, the only thing that would make it perfect is to share it all with someone. Sharing it with you over the phone is as close as I can get."
I laughed shaking my head at his insanity. "You are one of a kind Seth Clearwater! Absolutely one of a kind!"
"Back atcha kid, but I'm guessing that you should really be going to bed by now huh? I keep forgetting it's so much later there."
"Yeah, you get to rub elbows with zillionaires while I have to get to bed so I can go to school tomorrow. Life is so unfair."
"Oh boohoo. I did my time, now it's your turn. Someday you'll rub elbows too if I know you. You'll probably be the big star that I can't even manage to get a meeting with!"
"Sure, and pigs will fly, and hell will freeze over, and money will grow on trees too!"
We both laughed and bid one another good night. I snuggled down into my comforter still shaking my head at the fact that Seth left a Hollywood party to talk to me. That poor boy needs to find a girlfriend! I thought to myself. As soon as the thought reached the surface of my mind and a mental image formed with it my stomach felt heavy. I liked talking to Seth and being his person to share great things with. I didn't like thinking about having to share him with anybody. I felt so selfish…he's a great guy who deserves someone wonderful, and yet here I was begrudging him such happiness. Ugh…I'm such a horrible person! I moaned at myself as I rolled over to bury my face in my pillows and try my best to fall asleep.