Pulling and tugging at her long braid, Anastasia was a hot mess.
The lawyers were due to call any minute and her stomach was a sick cesspool of anxiety. Countless scenarios of dread raced around and around in her mind. Even in the library, her second favorite place in Escala, she couldn't relax. Her muscles were tense, her eyes darted from the book she valiantly attempted to read to her cell every three seconds, and no amount of water could quench her thirst. It had been three months since her revelations to Christian, and her desire to know was beginning to keep her up at night.
No matter what assurances he gave her, she had to know.
Children were not something either of them wanted right away, but she needed to know they were a possibility. She needed to know that there would be the pitter patter of tiny feet in the hallways of their home one day. Or not so tiny feet, it didn't matter. They had decided they were going to open their home to the child in most need of it. It was something that Christian was passionate about and his energy was an infectious condition. Her reservations about adopting a potentially older child melted away the night they talked and talked over two bottles of Sancerre. She had opened her mind to the possibility of any child when Christian had spoken softly of the life he had found with the Greys. How they had saved him and made him who he was today.
If they could do that for another child, how could they not?
Even though she never thought it possible, she was beginning to heal. The wounds that the Doctors back in New York had lacerated her with, were beginning to close. Back then, to her, infertility was a taboo word. It meant that her life began and ended with her. She would never be the reason another person walked the Earth. She would never know the maternal bond between a mother and son, or a mother and daughter. Her depression had engulfed her. Add the loss of Christian and her failing career to the mix, it was no wonder he had found in her in the skid row of her own life.
But it was all turning around, now.
And she was seizing it with both hands.
He had laughed at her suitability concerns, quickly sobering up when a well-aimed cushion sailed towards his widening eyes. Her worries were, to her, well-founded. Their relationship history was spotty, at best, to an outsider. She was only in her third week of running Grey Publishing and he worked all the hours known to man. Neither had any experience whatsoever in childcare. Christian, she was quite sure, wouldn't know arms from legs or eyes from ears.
He had merely snorted with laughter when she presented him with these facts.
Ana, I'm not as hopeless as you might think. Besides, we'd have Mrs Jones…
She smiled at the memory. He was so endearing, her fiercely flawed fifty. He really had no idea of himself, how empathetic he was. He had directed the lawyers to deal only with her, somehow knowing that she needed control over the situation when her own situation was so out of her hands.
The lawyers were three minutes late in calling.
Her pulse began to scream inside her. What if there was a problem? All she was waiting on was a suitability report. She could have done it herself, with the adoption agency, but Christian insisted on using the best and brightest of his own legal team. There must be a problem. No one who worked for Christian was ever late with anything, ever. Including her. He was borderline maniacal when it came to punctuality.
They were seven minutes late, now.
Her hand snatched out and scooped up her cell. There was plenty of signal and battery, all the essentials for a life-changing call. She wrestled with the idea of calling Christian and asking him if he knew anything. Two things stopped her. One, she didn't want to worry him. Two, she didn't want to be responsible for an entire department losing their jobs.
They were nine minutes late, now.
Panic was beginning to hit home and hard. There had to be an issue. They weren't suitable. She wasn't suitable. If there was a problem, it was with her. Unequivocally. Sweat pooled at her brow as she hugged herself on the white leather chair. The memory of New York was sizzling at the corners of her mind. She tried to blink it away, but couldn't. She tried to rationalize, instead. It was Friday. Maybe lawyers were just busy on Fridays. Maybe one of them had fallen and smacked their stupid head off the side of their desk and was lying comatose on the floor.
Was it wrong to hope it was that?
There were eleven minutes late, now.
She was calling him. Screw it. If she went to twelve minutes, she would implode. Mrs Jones would be scraping her intestines off the walls for weeks. Unlocking her cell, the option was suddenly removed from her.
They were calling.
Answering with trembling fingers, her voice was urgent.
"Hello?"
A pleasant and young female voice breezed down the line, clipped with efficiency.
"Hello. Am I speaking with Miss Anastasia Steele?"
She closed her eyes and prayed for a miracle.
"Yes, this is she."
"Excellent. Miss Steele, I am calling regarding the suitability report that yourself and Mr Grey requisitioned. I apologize for the delay in getting back to you, but I've just hung up with the adoption agency. They are going to forward the official documents today, but I can relay the verbal decision to you now, if you like?"
Blood spurted from Ana's lip as she bit down viciously upon it.
"Yes, I would like to know now."
The distinctive rustling of papers wafted down the line.
"Absolutely, Miss Steele. As you know, a suitability report is merely a registration of interest and a rough estimation of the probability of success in adoption. It's essentially a vetting procedure and getting your name on the register. I'm happy to tell you that yourself and Mr Grey's register application has been accepted and your background checks have flagged no issues. You have been sorted into the category of desirable applicant which essentially means that as of now, at this early stage, the adoption agency considers your and Mr Grey's application to be in very good standing."
Azure blue eyes swelled to incorporate the Atlantic Ocean.
"What?"
The voice was smiling now, she could tell.
"It's good news, Miss Steele. When you are both ready, whether it's today, tomorrow or three years from now, you and Mr Grey are in a great position to adopt. The agency loved you both at the information meeting and appreciated the effort you were both putting into planning your application. You impressed them. It's very good news."
Time stood still, shimmering in front of her eyes.
She was going to burst.
From the inside out, she was going to explode.
With the kind of joy that, save for finding Christian, she had never experienced.
Elation consumed her as her future fluttered down to lay at her feet. The world really was their oyster. They weren't ready yet, they were enjoying just being them for now, but in three or four years… definitely. She wanted a noisy house. She wanted to go to soccer games, PTA meetings and kiss little knees and elbows better. She wanted Christian to play with his little boy or girl with that rare softness on his face. She wanted him to bring he or she, or maybe even he and she, out on the boat, into the office, all the dad things he would excel at.
She wanted a family.
"Thank you," she managed to croak out, joyful tears popping to her eyes. "Thank you so much."
The lawyer on the other end of the line smiled widely.
"My pleasure, Miss Steele. Please let me know if there is anything else I can do for you. Your application is open as of now and will remain so until you decide on a definite course of action. I am available on this number at all times, please do not hesitate to call if you have any questions. You have a lovely evening."
The call disconnected.
Before she could even begin to process the processing process, the cell shrilled again.
Christian.
This time, her fingers were shaking with bliss when she answered.
"Christian, you won't believe what-"
"Miss Steele, would you do me the pleasure of meeting me outside? I have a surprise for you. I am in the parking lot. Take the elevator straight down. I will see you in three minutes."
The line went dead.
She blinked in surprise.
Before moving as if on autopilot.
Usually, she would question the surprise. Be apprehensive of it. But her news was bursting from her and she would have run to wherever he stood, no questions asked, to share it with him. Barrelling into the elevator with a smile that stretched her lips to capacity, she jabbed the ground floor button with breathless impatience. Zooming through the layers of the luxury apartment building, she saw fleeting images of children dancing through the levels.
She had never known such a level of unworldly happiness.
She could only hope Christian would share her joy.
Stepping out into the car lot, he took her breath away. Leaning against his favorite Audi R8, he was straight out of a magazine. His patent white cotton shirt, open at the collar paired with his faded denim jeans made for a mouth-watering combination. He grinned his rare boyish grin when he spied her and straightened up, stretching out a welcoming hand. As she eyed him, clarity engulfed her. She would live and die for this man. She was irrevocably tied to him. Her was her night and day and everything in between. For the first time, she was grateful for their six-year separation. It made everything clearer. Christian Grey, and everything that went with him, was the man for her. Come hell or high water.
She melted across the lot to him.
He pressed a gentle finger over her lips as she parted them eagerly.
"Shh, I need you to say nothing. Absolutely nothing. Not a word. I want to do something first, and after that, you can tell me what the lawyers said. I don't know, I promise you that. I want to hear it from you, but I need to show you your surprise first. Can you do that for me, Miss Steele? Can you keep your infamously smart mouth closed for just a little longer? I promise to make it worth your while."
Her news screamed within her, begging to be released.
But he had that look on his face.
That Christian look.
She could deny him nothing.
His warm hands guided her into the passenger side of his most beloved car, and he slipped in beside her with a rare and youthful look in his eyes. He was the only person in her world who could make gray sparkle. She turned to him when he zoomed out of the lot, curiously beginning to bite hard and fast. He grinned at her silent consternation and winked.
"Patience is a virtue, Ana dearest."
She tried to glare.
She really did.
But she was too freaking happy.
Seattle was settling into a lazy summers evening as they zipped along her quiet streets. With the windows down, the sounds of singing birds and laughing children followed them on their journey. Several times, she opened her mouth to ask where they were going and what was going on, but his gentle fingers always found her lips just in time to seal them with his burning touch and a playful grin.
"Patience, baby. We're not far away."
She melted.
He could melt the ice caps faster than global warming ever would.
Summer scents assailed her as they drove along. She breathed them in. Bliss bloomed in her and she realized that this was the happiest she had ever been. She was beside the love of her life. The one that had so very nearly been the one who got away, and he was exquisite. She might not be pregnant in the physical and conventional sense, but she felt pregnant. The promise of children was within her grasp and she was guarding that promise the way she would guard her own fledging embryo within the walls of her cold and lifeless womb.
Their fledgling embryo.
The car was cruising to a halt. His smile was genial as he handled the vehicular beauty with the ease in which he handled everything. He was as always, the consummate CEO. Ana glanced out the windows and realized with a jolt that she had zoned the hell out. They had gained substantial altitude. The mountainous terrain that surrounded Seattle was seldom visited and remained unmarked by man.
It was beautiful.
Spying her confused and amazed look, he parked the car at the point to which it could go no further. Grinning, he unbuckled both of their belts. Jumping from the car, he crossed to her side and opened her door. Extending his hand to her, his face was alight with youthful happiness.
"The no talking rule is still in place, Miss Steele. Please remember that."
She once again tried to glare.
And once again, she failed.
Slipping her hand into his, she allowed him to guide her from the car with a bemused smile on her face. Gazing up at the sun soaked hilly terrain, she was in wonderment. Just as she was adjusting to her elevated height, those heights became even dizzier.
Somehow, suddenly, she was hanging over his shoulder.
Squealing, she beat his back and opened her mouth to scream for her upright status. Chuckling, he playfully swatted her jeans clad backside and his honeyed voice blended into the tranquil night.
"No noise, Miss Steele. You have to trust me. Silently."
Gasping, she inhaled his clean scent and clutched his crisp white shirt as his muscular frame began moving. She didn't feel afraid as he somehow managed to ascent the sloping hill in front of them with an ease. He would never drop her or stumble.
He was Christian.
Bewilderment besieged her as they ascended in silence. Her hair swung like a curtain to blanket her face against the canvas of his broad back. He spoke not a word as he strode swiftly and upwardly, his toned legs propelling him with little to no difficulty. Her slight weight was no burden as he rose and rose, revelling in the manual nature of the walk after a long day in his glass tower.
And suddenly, so very suddenly, she was back on her Converse clad feet.
His hand was gentle as he steadied her, brushing her hair from her face and turning her torso to position her back to his chest, his arms wrapped tightly around her waist. His nose nuzzled against her neck as she stared at what he wanted to show her in complete and utter amazement.
"We're here, baby."
It was breathtaking.
Seattle was laid out before them in a never-ending meander of beauty. They were situated on a plateau of gravelled rock, nowhere near the top of the mountainous marvel, but nowhere near the bottom either. The air was clean and crisp. The noise of traffic had never been heard by the ears of the creatures that chirped around them. The sun was beginning to set, casting a rosy glow over the place they called home and shrouding them in its spotlight.
It was beautiful.
He was suddenly in front of her.
"I wanted you to see this before I knew anything about the adoption agency. I wanted you to see this as we stand now, just Christian and Ana. This is our legacy, this is where it all began. Look out, look out and see everything before you. Down there is where I first saw you. Down there is where I first held you. Down there is where I first loved you."
His hands moved to hold her face in a gentle grasp.
"Whether we have no children, or a hundred children, my love for you is like this city. It is alive. It is an electric current that can never be tripped. I told you once before that I didn't want children because they made us a family. I want to bring children into our family and grow it until it bursts at the seams. You are my family, Anastasia. And Seattle is where my family began. That is why I brought you here. So you could see what I see. This city gave me my beautiful beginning and my miracle middle and now, I can only hope against hope that it will give me my enviable end."
Without another word, he suddenly dropped to one knee.
The most magnificent of diamonds glinted like ice in the serene sunset.
"Miss Anastasia Steele, will you do me the greatest honor of becoming Mrs Anastasia Grey?"
….
TBC
….