Pompeii

by CanyonsIntrovert07

It was just a bet. Something to pass the time between the expeditions and the titan attacks. Just another one night stand like all of the many other one night stands I'd had since I'd joined the scouting legion. We had nothing in common other that our tragic pasts, but everyone had a tragic past in the legion. So when had I started to see him as anything more than a Captain?

25. Chapter 25

A/N: SOS! My chapters just keep doubling in length and I don't know how to make it stop! This chapter is over 10,000 words. T.T Send help. . .

We were only allowed a scant few minutes to commit the map to memory before setting the parchment to flames. We rode hard, not allowing our horses to slow past a canter, not daring to give them free rein. With nothing but the stars and a fingernail moon to light our path, we began to fear that we'd lost our way. We pushed on, huddling low over our mounts and pulling our cloaks tighter around us to keep the autumn chill at bay. As anxiety wove through the squad, our iron grip on the reins went slack. In our haste, we almost lost the wagon to a yawning chasm between the mountains. We watched the sun creep above the horizon with a deep seated dread that was only abated by the sight of a wooden roof beam as we crested the hill.

I allowed myself a breath of relief and straightened slowly, wincing as my stiff muscles complained, squinting through the sun's first rays to take in what would be our new living quarters.

The cabin was large enough to earn envious gazes in town, but here, nestled in a valley completely surrounded by jagged mountains, it could be overlooked as a merchant's summer home. It looked to be at least two stories high and was surrounded by a fence. There was a structure to the left of it that could have been a stable, but we were still too far away for me to be sure. After staying in nothing but barracks for so long, it looked so homey that I could almost smell the promise of a warm meal and feel the tight embrace of my mother.

We all shared small grins as we caught sight of it. Connie and Sasha exchanged a wild glance before urging their horses into a gallop, whooping something about food. The other horses stamped their feet with impatience. I pulled hard on the reins, directing the force toward my heel. I had to turn Sugar in two tight circles before she was calm enough to continue forward. I looked up at the sound of cursing to find Jean's horse at the end of a rear, its eyes wild.

"Damn morons!" He cursed, desperately pulling on the reins, "They know the only provisions we have we brought with us!"

"Leave them be," Rowen chided, patting Freedom on the neck fondly and murmuring in his ear as he stamped and snorted, "they're just ready to get out of the saddle."

Jean's horse let out a shrill nicker as Eren shoved between him and the wagon, holding out a hand to Historia with a grin, "You want to come along?"

Historia's response was cut short as Jean's hand clamped down on the back of Eren's shirt, "What the hell are you doing? Mikasa isn't enough for you, you greedy bastard?!"

Eren tried to shake him off with an indignant grunt, "What are you talking about you stupid Mama's boy?"

"Stop it!" Rowen cut in as Freedom began nervously side passing away from the wagon, "You two are just making things worse. You can't fight each other on horseback, anyway. These horses aren't trained for that kind of combat!"

"Why don't you settle it by racing to the cabin?" I called over from the other side of the wagon, grinning at Rowen's disapproving frown.

The two fell silent and Jean's face fell into a slack-jawed expression, his eyebrows furrowed and raised. It was a moment before he even found it necessary to voice how stupidly childish he thought the idea was. The teal eyed brunette cut him off.

"Sounds good to me," Eren growled, offering his hand to Historia once more and confirming the shake of her head before urging his horse into a gallop with a shout.

Jean floundered for a moment before digging his heels into his horse's flank, and setting off after them.

Mikasa brought her horse between Sugar and the wagon, offering her hand to Armin. Armin smiled, but shook his head, lifting the reins connected to the wagon's team of horses. Mikasa nodded before giving her horse more rein and leaning low on it's neck. Her midnight hair streamed out behind her as she shot after Eren.

"Oh, come on, Armin," I said, urging Sugar closer to the wagon's side, "What are you, fifteen? Act like a kid every once in awhile! You too, Chris-Historia."

Armin carefully crossed the left lead over the right, smoothing out the reins as he answered, "If the adults are acting like children, it only follows that the children will have to start acting like adults."

My jaw dropped and Rowen snorted before letting out a chortle. Armin's ears reddened by there was no other sign of discomfort at his careful jab. I leaned forward in my saddle, trying to catch his eye. He flicked his gaze over at me for a moment before his adam's apple bobbed and he trained his eyes on the driving team.

"Damn," I whistled low, sitting back into the saddle, "here I was thinking you were the little angel of the scouting region."

"You can't expect a kid with a brain like his to not have some witty comebacks," Rowen called to me over the wagon, "This kid's got enough sass to put you to shame!"

I snorted, "I won't be surprised until he has enough sass to put you to shame."

Before Rowen could let out another retort, I spurred Sugar forward. Her muscles bunched and I leaned low as she shot forward at a gallop. I closed my eyes and wound her mane through the lines of her reins. I brushed a finger along her neck, feeling the way her muscles moved as she bound forward. I let out a breath I hadn't realized I'd been holding and let the world fall away until there was nothing but the sound of her hooves beating against the ground and thundering breaths.

The wind pulled at my hair and whipped Sugar's mane against my face. The sun's first few rays warmed my back, helping relax my muscles. For just a moment, I was a girl again, tearing through the fields astride my horse, laughing as we pushed into a canter and my heart stuttered at the new speed. I closed my eyes and pushed my hands along her muscles, trying to imagine that I was running with her, feeling the ground through her hooves and seeing the world through her big, chocolate brown eyes. I always trusted that my mare would take me home, to warm food and even warmer embraces.

Sugar's gallop abruptly became a trot, jarring me out of my memories. I sat up and rolled back my shoulders, not having yet convinced my muscles to fully release and stretch. Sugar stamped her feet impatiently as she reached forward and nipped at Connie's horse who threw her head and brushed her lips along Sugar's bridle. The teens were nowhere in sight but sounds of conversation with smatterings of raised voices flowed from the cabin.

I rolled my eyes and got ready to dismounted, leaving the reins at the pommel so Sugar could graze without stepping on her lead while I was inside. I slung my leg over the saddle but stopped, standing in the stirrup and craning my neck toward the structure beside the house. It was a rudimentary stable with long boards used to separate the stalls into four large sections. I sighed, as I dropped to the ground and headed toward the house. Sugar hated sharing her space, I would have to bring her out an extra treat from whatever provisions we'd been granted.

I pushed into the house, blinking rapidly as my eyes adjusted to the dark hallway. There was a door directly to my left and another on my right, just a few feet down the hall. The shouting wasn't coming from either. I bit my lip and brushed the top of a doorknob, wondering at what I could find inside. Steeling my resolve, I pushed forward, ignoring the curiosity that begged for me to ignore the cadets, just long enough for me to scope out the building.

As I passed the door on my right, the hallway spilled out into an open area. Connie and Sasha were rummaging in a kitchen that opened up to my left, already starting up a fire in the stone oven. Rolled my eyes and continued past the wall of the kitchen, taking note of the staircase that cut into the wall on my right. Teasing spots of sunlight trickled down from the top floor. I tore my eyes away.

On the other side of the wall, there was a living space filled with a long dining table surrounded by chairs. An armchair and couch had been pushed into the far left corner with a small, round table place in the center of the furniture. Eren and Jean were arguing over the long table as Mikasa quietly stood beside Eren, her hands absently adjusting the scarf around her neck.

"Alright, that's enough!" I barked.

Eren and Jean froze around my interjection and I saw Connie and Sasha hesitantly poke their head around the corner. I folded my arms and tried to think about what Rowen would do in this situation, immensely regretting my decision to race to the cabin.

"Jean, Sasha, you two go secure the perimeter. I saw a stable out there, make sure it's equipped and stall the horses once you're done with your perimeter sweep. Connie, Mikasa, get started on the kitchen. I think it was a good idea to get things warmed up, everyone is hungry after that shitty ride. Eren, you scope out the place. You've been a part of Captain Levi's squad longer that any of us. You know his standard of clean, so check out what needs to be done, find the cleaning supplies, and get started," I paused and thought on my words before nodding and looking back around the room.

Jean folded his arms, "Why do I have to be with Sasha?"

"Mikasa is going to keep an eye on Connie and you're keeping an eye on Sasha," I said, ignoring his rushed insistence that he wasn't looking to pair up with Mikasa, "No one wants to leave those two to their own devices when the wagon gets here, right?"

I took the silence that followed as an affirmation, "Alright! Get your asses to work, then!"

They grumbled but obediently began heading to their assigned tasks. I heaved a sigh and grumbled to myself as I moved toward the fireplace along the left wall. I hated being a responsible adult. It always left me with a bad taste in my mouth. I threw a couple of logs in the grate, pushing my face into my shoulder as a cloud of ash rose up to meet me. I reached into my pocket for the flint stone I always carried with me on long rides. After a few strikes, a small pile of tinder was smoldering under the grate.

I turned my back to the small flame, letting its warmth wash over me. Fall had set in now and even the days could be cold enough to send goose bumps racing along my skin. I didn't really need the excuse, though, I would have set a fire going in the hearth regardless. My father had taught me that a house was never really a home until it had a fire to provide warmth. He always said a fire was like the heartbeat of the home, that you could always find your way back if you had a good fire in the hearth. He had been a cold natured fool and my mother always chided him when he started a fire before fall had even begun, but she never put it out.

The door creaked open and I was on my feet at the sound of Rowen's calm and steady voice. I rushed into the hallway and grabbed Rowen's arms, ignoring the way she pulled back and raised an eyebrow as I did.

"Thank the skies!" I breathed, "Delegate! Please! I don't think I can handle being a responsible adult for another second."

Rowen's mouth thinned and she looked up in defeat, "Then I guess I'll just have to leave you to expire. I'd like to say it was nice knowing you."

"Rowen!" I groaned.

Her stoic face broke out into a smile and she shoved me toward the open door, "Alright, fine. Get your stuff and find the bathroom. You still smell like booze and Sina knows you aren't going to be any help cleaning the house."

I walked toward the wagon slowly, pouting, "But I want to go for a run tonight, I haven't ran in ages! That would mean bathing twice!"

Rowen shrugged and walked toward the front door, "You could benefit from an extra bath or two."

I bristled, "Are you saying I stink?"

"Yes."

"Hmph. Can I at least get breakfast first?"

"Breakfast?" She spun on me.

I backpedaled, holding up my hands in surrender, "Nothing extravagant! Something simple, some oatmeal? Coffee?" The last word was nothing more than an empty wish. We rarely got coffee on missions like these.

Rowen sighed, "We all should get some breakfast. It'll take a while for them to get things ready, though. And it looks like everyone is busy right now," she paused to raise an eyebrow at me and I preened, "Just help unload the wagon and then bathe while we get the food prepared."

I almost saluted her but paused, "I can help make food."

She snorted, her gray blue eyes twinkling as she replied, "Not if any of us want to have anything edible."

"I can cook!"

"Name five things you can cook."

I growled at her before tearing out of the house, slamming the door shut on her chuckle.

---

The squad was preparing dinner when Jean burst through the backdoor, tearing into the living room. He and Sasha had been put on lookout at two simple sentry towers behind the house facing the mountains. I was sitting in the armchair, tugging on my boots in the hopes of getting in a quick run. I froze at the bang of the door. Fear flooded my veins. Had they already found us? How would we protect Christa and Eren?

Jean stopped when he saw me, understanding on his face as he took in my look of horror. He shook his head, breathing out a rushed, "Captain Levi," before continuing on to the kitchen.

My horror warped into trepidation and dread. Levi. It had been difficult to push aside the thought of him with my jaw throbbing at every spoken word, but I had managed. I wouldn't be able to do that now-not with him here, constantly by my side. I worried my lip between my teeth, the morning before replaying in my mind followed by last night when he had refused to so much as talk to me. He had gone from being more tender than any lover I had thus far taken to bed, to being as cold and unfeeling as the dead.

I shivered at the thought.

I yanked a boot onto my foot but then paused, staring at an eyelet. I wouldn't be able to hide from him. I wasn't sure I could even try. There was this pull within me when Levi was near, a need to be with him, to touch him. While hearing my given name from him had shocked me, I found myself wanting to hear it again. As much as it terrified me, I was backed into a corner. My only option was to stand and face him; ask him what had happened that night, find out why he had held me so gently. See just how wrong Rowen was.

I stopped Jean as he walked back to the door, "How long?"

He shrugged, "Sasha said she spotted him going into the forest. I couldn't see a damn thing. She's a beast, though, if she says she can see him, I believe her. Captain was hauling ass, probably. . . three minutes?"

My brows furrowed, "Was he by himself?"

He nodded. "I'm going back out, crazy woman has already tried to kill a deer and three rabbits. The idiots better have dinner ready soon."

I rolled my eyes, "good luck keeping a broad like her in line."

Jean smirked, "That's Connie's job, not mine."

I barked out a laugh. Maybe the kid wasn't as bad as everyone said, so long as he wasn't around Eren.

I slid out of the armchair, folding over my knee as I began to lace up my boot. Three minutes wasn't a lot of time. My lip lifted into a snarl as my hands shook. I curled and uncurled my fingers before yanking on the laces with a vengeance. I wasn't scared, I would have been able to handle it if I was. Instead, I was filled with this nervous energy. All I could think about was what I was going to say to him, how I would look at him and he at me. I hated myself for it.

"Dinner's ready!" Armin piped, coming around the corner with a large pot that he carefully placed in the center of the table.

Eren and Mikasa followed after him, carrying bowl and spoons. Connie disappeared out of the back door with two steaming bowls filled to the brim, biscuits precariously propped on the edge.

"Don't you think we should get ready for Captain Levi?" Eren was asking, his eyes shifting around the room.

"Nonsense," Rowen replied, walking to the table with a wicker bowl full of biscuits, "We've been getting ready for him all day, it's time for dinner. Sit down and get yourself a bowl."

Eren sat, but still looked exceedingly nervous. I rolled my eyes and looked back down at my boots.

A flag of motion at the corner of my vision had me flicking my gaze up toward the door Connie had disappeared out of. I froze when I didn't find Connie in the doorframe. I was on my feet in an instant, fist over my thundering heart in a salute. Everyone turned at the sound of my salute and immediately snapped to attention behind me, the room filling with the click of heels and thumping of fists hitting chests.

Levi glowered but returned the salute before walking into the room. Connie edged in after him and closed the door. Everyone dropped their salutes but stood rooted in place as Levi walked to some pieces of china that had been hung along the wall. Eren blanched before Levi even swiped his finger along the rim. I rolled my eyes and sank back to the floor. I crossed the ties of my other boot and wrapped them around my calf before beginning the knot at the front. The clanking of dishes resumed as Rowen continued laying bowls out around the table.

Levi clicked his tongue against the roof of his mouth, carefully wiping off his hands. "You're not done cleaning."

I flicked my gaze up. Rowen's face was dark with annoyance, she opened her mouth but Eren cut her off, "No, Captain Levi. We just stopped to have dinner, sir."

Levi hadn't missed Rowen's attempt at a retort, his eyes narrowed on her, letting silence stretch over the room. The squad help their breaths, gazes flicking between Levi, Rowen, and the light layer of dust that Levi's cloth now carried.

Levi hummed and turned away.

The tension in the room dropped. Quiet conversation picked up as the squad began to pull out the chairs around the table and pour soup into their bowls. The soup smelt warm and doughy and unmistakably of fowl. Dumpling soup. I took in a deep breath of it, briefly wondering which one of the cadets had actually known how to make it. My stomach felt hollow but didn't growl at the smell. I released my breath, it was the perfect time for a run. And an escape.

"Burrell." My head snapped up from my boot's ties to find my captain standing directly in front of me. His eyes didn't waver as he stared down at me. Levi didn't bother to lower his voice as he asked, "Where are you going?"

I finished the knot with a jerk, "Going on a run, Captain."

"Come with me."

The squad froze around Levi's voice. I sighed. I just said I was going for a run, can't it wait? Resigned, my muscles tensed to stand, a 'yes, sir' parting my lips. I froze, bouncing slightly against my heels when I realized he hadn't barked out the command and turned away. My eyebrows flicked down in confusion as I looked up from his boots to find steely eyes still lingering on me. My breath stilled as I realized his words weren't an order. My captain was waiting to see if I would follow him. Levi was giving me the option to say no.

I blinked up at him, my gaze shifting away as Rowen stood up from the chair she'd claimed. Her eyebrows were raised in question as she flicked her gaze over to Levi. I shook my head slightly. I knew I'd have to talk to him, I hadn't thought he'd come to me on his own after his less than fond farewell at the stables. I would have never fathomed that he would so openly display to the entire squad that we were more than just captain and cadet. I ground my teeth, it had to have something to do with that night. It just kept popping up along with the deep seated dread that everything had changed in that one night, and I'd never be able to remember it.

As I turned my attention to Levi's gaze once again, a blurred image flashed through my mind; his face soft as he knelt beside me, brushing my hair out after my eyes. I was on my feet in an instant, rocking towards my captain. His eyes widened and then narrowed at the sudden movement and I heard at least one scuffle as a cadet jumped.

I didn't move, afraid that if I so much as breathed I would scare away the hazy memories. When no other hint of a memory surfaced, I nodded and replied with a curt, "yes, Captain."

His face was blank but he nodded before looking up to address the rest of the squad, "Hanji, Erwin, and the other captains will be here by nightfall. A wagon will be arriving with them containing your gear. Get a space ready for it on the second floor with the rest of the supplies. Make sure this hellhole is clean by the time the captains arrive."

Reluctant shouts of affirmation followed Levi out as he pulled the door closed. I threw a grin at Rowen. Her look of concerned confusion melted into a glower. She turned toward the soup pot and waved me on. I pushed out after him, excitement humming through me. Of course Levi would be the trigger! If I followed him I had an actual chance to remember at least some of what had transpired.

I paused when I came to the edge of the small stone fence. I turned toward the weight of his gaze to find him standing at the edge of the tree line. A new thought planted a seed of doubt in my exhilaration as I returned his gaze. Do I really want to know what happened? I shook off the thought and sprang over the stone barrier, settling on my feeling of anticipation as I moved toward where Levi was waiting for me.

My captain stood to the left of the house, waiting just at the tree line, though he looked nothing like my captain at the moment. His uniform had been traded for a cream cotton shirt and loose fitting dark pants with tall combat boots. Along with his clothes, his hair was mussed and he sported speckles of mud from his ride.

There was something about seeing Levi out of uniform that shook me. He looked a little more wild, like the uniform kept his life before the survey corps tucked away and without it, that little bit of abandon shone through. It was like a window to another time in his life, another side of Levi that I hadn't seen and I eagerly drank in the sight of him.

He was leaning against a tree, his arms folded across his chest. His chin lifted as I approached, a frown twisting his lips, "Hurry up, brat."

"Now, now, Captain," I replied, tapping his shoulder with a finger, "hasn't anyone ever told you you can't rush a lady?"

"Then it's a good thing you're not a lady, isn't it?" He intoned as he turned away and wove deeper into the forest.

I glared at him for a moment before shrugging a reluctant agreement and following after him. By the time he stopped, we were in a clearing covered by a leafy canopy that only let slight slivers of the setting sun's light through. As much as it pained me to admit, the short hike had me winded. Between the thin mountain air and the weeks I'd had to lay off the training because of my ribs, I was having trouble hiding my panting breaths fogging the air before me.

Levi walked to the middle of the clearing and reached back to pull his knife from the sheath at the small of his back. His fingers coaxed the small blade into a quick spin against his thumb before catching the hilt and throwing it, tip down, into the grass. The simple movement sparked a chain of memories.

Sometimes you look at me like Jerome.

I tried to keep the ground beneath me from swimming.

The memory shadowed the man before me until he widened his stance and held his hands up in a loose guard. Separated from the ghost of my memory, Levi looked me over, silvery eyes hooded.

I blinked rapidly in an attempt to focus on what was unfolding before me instead of following the breadcrumbs the new memories were leaving. I let out a subdued, "what are you doing", in the hopes that engaging in the present would pull me away.

"Helping get one of my cadets back into shape. You're going to need to be combat ready," he answered, oblivious to my internal turmoil.

I frowned at his answer, intrigue yanking me out of my thoughts. I took a moment to repeat his words in my mind before I enunciated, "So, you're going to spar with me?"

His hands tightened into fists as he snapped, "Do you not want a chance to repay me for that bruise?"

When I grinned at him it was sharp as steel. I jumped forward without need for any other invitation, the thought of rediscovering my lost night tossed away. Levi leaned back and batted away my roundhouse. I shifted my weight, looking over my shoulder as I pushed my heel out, force directed straight through his sternum. He dropped to the ground, knees bent. Hard eyes alighted on my ankle and his weight shifted. I clenched my teeth and waited for him to swing out his leg and knock me to the ground.

He didn't move.

With both feet anchoring me to the ground once again, I shot forward, pushing my knee up towards his face. Levi's hand clamped around my knee as he spun away from me, his boots leaving deep grooves through the grass. I winced as I fell hard on my back, my teeth rattling against each other. I bent my arms back, pushing off the ground and rolling into a backflip. My landing was unsteady and I stumbled slightly as I tried to regain my footing and put up my guard before the oncoming strike.

That never fell.

Levi was watching me, his hands loose at his side. I frowned. I was completely open, why wasn't he coming after me?

"We need to stop. You aren't ready for this kind of training," his words were laced with something dark and akin to disappointment and regret.

"Don't worry about me, Captain," I ground out, "I might be out of practice, but I've got plenty of stamina."

No words could disguise the way my muscles shook with exertion. It hadn't been more than a few minutes since I had let my first kick fly, but my skin was already slick with sweat and my breath little more than pants. Despite that, my blood hummed with exhilaration and my knuckles were itching to find their target.

I shot forward. His hands were back into a loose guard before I was even close enough to land a punch. My movements were slowed by weeks of reluctant recuperation. My mind was distracted by the light sheen of sweat on his skin, his focused gaze, the bulge of his muscles beneath his clothes, and the memories that were unearthed with each expression he showed me.

Each position we took, each blow we parried, each brush of his heated skin against mine and each panting breath pulled out another memory. They were clouding my vision and weighing down each blow. I gritted my teeth and tried to push them down, just for a moment. I could try to sort them out and string together what had happened when I wasn't trying desperately to land a punch.

The corner of his mouth twitched and between parries, Levi breathed, "You may have stamina, but I still remember being able to last longer than you."

I froze, my ankle held aloft by Levi, another roundhouse cut just centimeters short of finding its mark. My pulse spiked as he let down his guard, let me see past the captain. The urge to remind him that he had practically begged me that first night was overwhelming, but when I opened my mouth, I found a different rejoinder on my tongue.

"Why aren't you defending yourself?" I'd been wanting to growl it at him, snarl like a rabid beast that had been promised a fight but got a pat on the head. Instead, my voice was blank.

No matter what I did, Levi wouldn't strike back. I had given him ample opportunity to leave me with another bruise or broken bone. Every time, his eyes would alight on the opening, make note of it, and then ignore it. Each ignored opening further stoked the fury within me. His dry smile had killed that fire.

Levi frowned and tapped his fingers against my captured ankle, "I'm defending myself better than you're attacking."

Fire roared through my veins once more and as he released my ankle, I spun, flinging my other ankle out in a crescent kick, heel driving toward the ground. His eyes widened and he threw up a hand to block the kick. Instead of hitting him, I curled my knee around his neck and the arm he had raised to block my kick. I grabbed hold of my ankle and pulled back, the force making my muscles scream. I could already feel Levi getting a grip on my calf, but before he could find a way out of my hold, I twisted. I gritted my teeth as we both fell toward the ground.

The fall was jarring, and I knew I would have a bruise against my hip by the morning, but I refused to loosen my hold on him. Levi struggled to push my leg over his head, but with his wrist captured against his neck, it was all he could do to keep me from strangling him. I finally had the upper hand.

I leaned forward, grinning down at him as I murmured, "For someone who 'isn't ready for this kind of training' I got you beat pretty quickly."

Levi growled up at me and when he arched his hand over my shoulder, for just a moment, I froze, anticipating the hand cupping around my neck to pull me down for a rough kiss.

At the thought, another memory surfaced, a desperate kiss after a murmured plea. My body flushed hot as I stared down at him, the same man as the one in my memory, but so different. Still, I knew how his lips would chase the heat across my skin, and I yearned for that touch.

My hesitation allowed him to get a grip on the back of my shirt.

I cursed and tried to pull back, but he was already hurling me over his head. I spun, grounding my weight as I pushed the balls of my feet into the soft ground and put out my hands, skidding to a stop.

My knees were shaking and sheer force of will was the only thing that kept me from letting them touch the ground. I flung my head up, ready to defend myself, only to find Levi standing where I had left him, his hands up in a loose guard.

I snarled.

His damn guard. Like he needed it; like someone with his skills would need to actually defend themselves against me. As if he needed to protect himself from me. Why was he forcing me to attack? Why was he always waiting for me to make the first move, gauging exactly how far he was willing to go? He was always so protective of himself but so ready to push me further than I was willing. I was done fighting a one-sided battle, if he was going to pull me into this, I would drag him right down with me.

I curled my hand around the dirt and debris under my palm and willed myself forward. One last round, one last chance to make him meet me head on-to have enough respect for me as an opponent to stop pulling his punches.

I threw the handful towards his face and Levi's eyes narrowed, his chin lowering as he took note of my cheap shot. He flipped backwards to avoid the it, but I grabbed one of his wrists before his hands found purchase in the grass. I pulled him facedown into the dirt and scrambled onto his back. I tried to plant his wrist against his shoulder blade and shove a knee against his spine. I grunted as he rolled, shoved my shoulders into the ground, and sat on my stomach, his knees straddling my ribcage.

"You're done, Burrell," Levi growled his eyes fierce, "You're out of shape and out of practice. You can't win. Stop fighting me."

I struggled against his iron grip, but I was spent. My muscles shivered with overexertion and no amount of throwing my head could keep the sweat from dripping into my eyes.

"You say that like it was an actual fight. Why were you pulling your punches, damn it?!" I panted, letting my head drop into the grass.

I twitched as a blade tickled my ear and Levi followed the movement, tongue darting out to wet his lips. An idea fueled by the barrage of memories started to form in my mind at the movement.

"I was gauging your skills. If I'd actually fought you, it would have been over too quickly for me to be able to do that." Levi removed his hands from my shoulders but showed no move to get off of me.

I snorted and kicked my legs weakly, trying to dislodge him from his position.

That was a shameless lie. I couldn't fault him for it, though. Not when my every movement was a lie, not when I was pulling him in, carefully laying my trap.

He clicked his tongue and leaned forward, bracing his hands against my shoulders, "Stop it, brat, you're only going to hurt yourself."

I glared up at him. Arrogant bastard thought he had me beat. Well, he wasn't going to win this fight. I trailed a hand up along his neck and into his hair. As his grip went slack, I rose up to whisper into his ear, "Say please, Levi."

His eyes blew wide and his breath caught. I leaned back and gave him a thin smile before balling up my hand and putting everything I had into a punch right into his side. Levi was propelled off of me with a whoosh of air. Neither of us bothered to move as the silence of the forest settled back down around us, interrupted only by our panting breaths. My jaw and hand were throbbing angrily, but I didn't care. I let out a little laugh that dissolved into a tired sigh. I'd landed a punch.

"You remember?"

I rolled my head toward Levi. He was sprawled out, a forearm thrown over his eyes. I hummed but then corrected, "Bits and pieces. After me and Rowen got our second round from the storage, it gets fuzzy. Did you take me out of the dining hall?"

His answer was a sigh into the wind, "I couldn't leave you there. You were chasing anything with a penis; acting like a dog in heat."

I frowned at his short answer and shot, "What does that make you, the one who decided to screw this dumb bitch?"

"Just another dog of the military." There was no hesitation in his voice and when I turned I found him watching me, a wry smile tugging on his lips.

I looked back at the canopy, tracing a branch with my gaze, "You've got one hell of a twisted sense of humor." Before he could reply I continued, "Were you ever going to tell me about Erwin?"

Silence.

"Hanji?"

I hummed.

He was quiet for a moment more before answering, "I've seen what it takes to gain your respect as a superior, I wasn't going to take that away from you. Why the hell would Hanji tell you?"

"She also told me to keep you from doing something stupid."

Levi coughed slightly and I turned, catching him at the end of a wince. "Shitty four-eyes. Damn, Yesenia, I think you bruised my fucking kidney."

I hesitated long enough to make him stiffen. I huffed out a shaking laugh, "Serves you right. Why were you pulling your punches?"

"Yesenia," his sigh was a weary warning.

"No," I cut in, sitting up and throwing an arm over his side, pinning him in place. The heat from our skin was enough to make the position uncomfortable and my arms were still shaking from the exertion, but I locked my elbows and stared down at him.

Levi raised an eyebrow. His gaze softened when it met mine and my arms wobbled. A flurry of echoing expressions came to mind as I took in the subtle softening of his face. He reached up, brushing a curl out of my eyes before trailing his fingertips against the fading bruise along my jaw. "I won't hurt you."

I frowned at him, "You didn't seem to have an issue hitting me on the expedition and in front of Erwin."

I was jostled as he rose up on his elbows, his eyes alight with rage. The rough timbre of his voice tore through us as he roared, "You didn't give me a fucking choice!"

His rage was a palpable thing. It was something I was just beginning to acclimate to. When Levi was annoyed, relaxed, content, all his emotions were quiet and subdued. It was as if he was a resident spectator to the world around him. Not meant to interfere with his emotions, just to watch and keep his thoughts to himself. But when he raged. . . It poured out of every movement, word, snarl and glance. His fury permeated the air and sunk through my skin, leaving me raw and shaking.

I didn't pull away. As much as his fury made me want to lash out in defense- match his raw emotion with my own- I held back. It seemed only appropriate to take in all of the emotion that he so constantly withheld from the world. Take this moment when he was so completely open and all his guards were down and hold it.

Levi only let his fury lash out for a moment. I watched the anger melt away from the furious furrow of his brows and the tense set of his jaw with a sort of disappointment. I desperately held back the desire to stoke that ire back into a frenzy as I watched him sink back into himself, tuck away his emotions.

"Don't."

Levi frowned, annoyance stirring the still pool of his eyes.

I pulled up a hand, running my fingers along my palm to dislodge the pieces of grass that clung to the indents along my skin. Levi went stiff as my hand wound through his hair and pulled his face toward mine. After an insistent tremor shook my frame, I eased my body on top of his, enjoying the way his chest and shoulders tensed to support the added weight. Our gazes were locked, his silver eyes all I could see.

"New rule: don't hold back," I murmured it against his lips and could feel the resulting smirk before his lips parted and captured mine.

His kiss was slow, his lips still holding the slight curve of his smile. Any thought other than the feel of him faded.

The familiar itch set in as he touched me, the same feeling I got any time he looked at me with a hungry, predatory gleam in his eyes. A shiver crept under my skin and took root, demanding more. To taste the salt of his sweat and chase his pulse with my tongue.

Levi pulled away to press feather light kisses along my collarbone and up my neck. I pulled against the raven locks in my hand, trying to guide his attention lower, somewhere I knew I could stoke him into a heated fervor. His lips curled against my skin before parting. I flinched and a gasp escaped me as his teeth teased along my skin in quiet reprimands. Levi shifted our weight onto one elbow, reaching up to tangle a hand into my hair. His other hand found mine through the grass and his fingertips trailed along my arm in an inconsistent, lazy design that made me want to scream.

If there was one thing I had never been good at, it was patience. The itch that had begun when he had brushed his lips against mine buzzed into a frenzy of unbridled energy. Every brush of his skin against mine just fed the need to feel him moving against me without any barriers. The memory of his fingers trailing along my ribcage flitted to the forefront of my mind and I drifted.

His hands had been so gentle. I had thrown myself at him, all raw passion and emotion and need and he had met me with hesitant, light touches. My cheeks burned hot with shame as I remembered grinding down against his hips, growling. Can we just get on with it? My hands stilled and I stiffened, all the nervous energy gone with a single thought.

I had thrown myself at him and he had pushed me back. Kept me from going through with something I undoubtedly would have regretted. No man would have done that if he was just interested in a good, clean fuck. Despite everything, he still wanted me, that much was obvious with every touch. I recalled how his eyes had blown wide when I'd said his name.

Remembered how my heart had stuttered when he'd said mine.

His fingers had curled around my wrist loosely when I had stiffened and he leaned back, watching me tentatively, but without worry.

I looked down and my lips pulled back into a wan grin. "What are we doing?"

Levi's chest rose and fell sharply in a huff. He contemplated for a moment before offering a snide, "Endurance training."

My mouth quirked. "That sounds like a hell of a lot more fun than what we're doing. I mean, what is this? What are we?"

Levi's chest stilled as he held his breath. Twilight was upon us, bringing with it a chill that left our breaths clouding around us and a dark sort of light that left everything blurring together and seeming subdued. When I looked up his face was incredulous and slightly annoyed. His face went slack as he took in my expression. He shifted between his elbows. I moved my weight toward my hip and began to pull away but his fingers tightening against my wrist coaxed my muscles to relax against him once more.

His voice was careful as he asked, "What do you want us to be?"

I sucked in my bottom lip, chewing against the soft skin as I considered my response. His eyes flicked down to track the movement before coming back to rest on my eyes.

"I don't know."

There was a beat of silence before he replied with another question, "What do you want from me?"

Even as my hands tightened around his shirt, still damp from our spar, I couldn't find an answer I was willing to acknowledge.

"I don't know."

His eyes tightened, "What do you want me to do?"

I shouldn't have asked. We could have continued dancing around each other's feelings, exploring the physical range of whatever we had. Acknowledging that there was any feeling behind our movements was dangerous. It filled me with a charged sort of dread that made me want to run or scream. I didn't move.

"I don't know."

He sat up sharply and pulled my knees to the outside of his hips. My body was rigid as he cupped my face and stared into my eyes, his gaze hard and determined.

"Then let me tell you what I want," Levi growled. He open his mouth to continue but then slowly closed it as his eyes searched mine. I couldn't imagine what I looked like to him.

Some brat scared shitless at the very notion of someone possibly wanting something more than just sex?

He wouldn't be wrong.

He followed the bottom curve of my lip with a thumb and I was astonished when I didn't tremble at the touch.

"I want you."

He said it so simply. Like he was asking for something simple. Something I could actually give him.

"That much is obvious," I smirked at him. His gaze didn't waver. He didn't pull away. Levi just watched and waited. I swallowed and when I couldn't stand his gaze for another second I pulled away from him, trailing a hand through the grass beside my leg.

"What-" my voice stuttered and I had to clear my throat and try again, "What if I can't?" I couldn't force myself to look at him, no matter how much everything in me needed to see his reaction. "I can't give you something I don't have."

Calloused fingers brushed over the top of my hand and I shook as his voice murmured against my hair, "I don't want who you think you are or who you think you have to be, I want you as you are, right now."

I clenched my teeth and turned to fix my eyes on his unwavering gaze, "I don't have anything that I can give you as I am now."

Levi sighed out a growl and leaned forward, his hand cupping around the back of my neck. He pulled me forward, his lips crashing against mine. I wanted to fight against his hold, I wanted to insist that he listen to me. I also wanted the reprieve. I was lost. I was scared. I didn't know what I wanted from Levi, didn't know what I could give him. I didn't know if I could even stomach the thought of being in any sort of relationship with anyone. But this-bodies moving, pulses racing, tongues searching-I knew this. I was more familiar with this than anything in my life anymore. I welcomed the escape.

Levi pulled away, resting his forehead against mine. I opened my eyes, his silvery gaze boring into mine as our panting breaths mixed in white puffs of air.

"This," he said, "I want this. This you, this space, this feeling. I don't want this to belong to anyone else."

I raised an eyebrow, "Belong? Levi-"

"No. Not belong," his grip on the back of my neck loosened as he looked away, "You could never belong to anyone, you aren't some possession. I just. . ."

I stopped for a moment and tried to push down my initial response, tried to remember what Hanji had said to me, "Wait a minute, let me translate."

"Translate?"

Hanji had said he usually said the opposite of what he meant, that he couldn't say something nice. After thinking over his words in that mindset, I frowned and decided to ignore Hanji's words. This space, this feeling. I thought back on his 'new rule' he'd given me that night.

"So," I tasted the words on my tongue before I really spoke them, "You don't want me to be this close to anyone else. You want me to only be with you like this."

Levi was quiet for a moment before he hummed his agreement.

I swallowed hard. Could I do that? Could I actually be someone's lover? The memory of Jerome lingered at the corner of my mind. I sent one last apology to him before I pushed it away. I was going to be stuck in the cabin for who knew how long, Levi would be the only one I would even consider having sex with, anyway. I could afford to give him this space, this warmth.

This feeling.

My heart stuttered.

"I can't lo-" I choked, "If I can only give you this space, would that be enough?"

His reply washed over me as he pulled my shirt aside to reveal my shoulder and brushed his lips over the warm skin, "It's a start."

The reflexive shudder that followed had less to do with his words and everything to do with the grin that was being pushed into my skin. Getting etched into my skin. It was a thought, a feeling, a hope, and it sank deeper and deeper until it thrummed through me. It filled me, pushing and etching and growing until I couldn't tell where his grin ended and my emptiness began.

Even worse, I couldn't tell when my answering grin had filled me and stretched across my lips.

I pushed away the thought as I pushed Levi into the grass. Now wasn't the time for the thought of a feeling. It was the time for whispers of skin against skin. The time to make good on my promise, to give in to the warmth of this space.

(NSFW)

I couldn't tell exactly when the soft gray of twilight had been swallowed by the night. The resulting darkness had been submerged into pure blackness by the canopy overhead, robbing me of my sight. At some point, I had stopped seeing Levi and instead had given over to just the feel and the sound of him. My skin shivered in anticipation on his every touch, each graze of calluses, lips, teeth, hips, left me twitching and aching. Left me wanting.

Using my hands along the sharp angle of his jaw as a guide, my lips found his pulse. At that moment, his fingers pushed under my shirt, tracing along my spine. The rough brush of his fingertips along with the rush of cold air against my skin pulled a shuddering groan from me pushing right into the column of his throat.

The world shifted around me so rapidly that against all logic, I was certain a hole had opened up right there in the forest floor and swallowed us whole. I clutched at Levi, the rush of my heart abating slightly as I heard his quiet chuckle. The realization that my back was now cradled in soft, tickling grass was quickly shoved aside as a hand trailed up the inside of my thigh.

My knees jumped apart without any additional coaxing and I almost regretted my lack of self control. But then his hand began to trail along the newly exposed area and all I could think was, yes, yes, finally! Skies, don't let him stop!

Levi's mouth played along the bottom swell of my breasts, his hair tickling my stomach with each breath. As his fingers inched higher so did his lips, further adding to the liquid heat throbbing in my core. I bit my lip but couldn't stop the moan that escaped me as he reached the apex of my legs, my hips undulating against him and back arching off of the forest floor. The answering panted groan against my chest pulled my hands away from their travels over his shoulders, neck, biceps, back.

I hooked my fingers into the top of my pants, lifting my hips off the ground and pushing with every intention of eradicating the layer of fabric that always seemed to separate us. Levi's hand grasped my wrist, pulling my hand to his side before urging my hips back into the grass.

I let out a disapproving noise and he ground out, "you want to have sex in the damn woods?" There was an actual note of question to his voice, like he wasn't entirely against the idea but wasn't sold on it either.

In response, I followed his spine down to his pants and traced the fabric until my hand was wedged in the small breadth of space between our bodies. Pulling the fabric away from his heated skin, I rubbed a small circle into his pelvis. Levi's moan was louder than the last, his deeply melodic voice giving way to dark gravel and need and carnality.

"Are you going to take off your pants or am I going to have to?" I purred, my voice rough, fingertips teasing.

He leaned down, low enough for his body to brush tantalizingly against mine, close enough that I felt his growl shiver through my skin and dance along my sensitized nerves. "If you don't stop, I'm going to take you right here," he accentuated, rocking his hips into mine.

"I'd really rather you not take her anywhere, actually."

I froze, the high, gasping moan his movements had pulled from me caught in my throat. I turned toward Rowen's voice, trying to make out her form in the darkness. I jerked my attention back to Levi as the small space between us was extinguished. I clamped my teeth around a groan as he pressed against the juncture of my legs.

"Why does your damn friend keep interrupting?" Levi snarled against my neck.

There was apart of me that wanted to defend Rowen, but a larger part of me agreed with him. I let my head fall back against the grass and tried to push away every over sensitized response from his movements. Every breath pushed him further against me, stoking the fire under my skin impossibly higher. I reached up a shaking hand and ran my fingers through his hair in what I hoped was a soothing motion. From the way he twitched against me, I gathered that it wasn't very soothing.

"This 'damn friend' is saving your asses," Rowen called, annoyance thinning her voice, "which I hope you still have covered."

I moved slightly and Levi made a sound deep in his throat. His hands came up to clench the outside of my hips, the movement pushing my pants dangerously lower. I shuddered and couldn't fight the whine that escaped me, the new onslaught of sensations almost enough to push me over the edge. "Mostly?"

Rowen let out an exasperated sound, "For Sina's sake! Either hurry it up or cool down; the captains just got to the cabin. Erwin called for a meeting before he even got off the wagon. And try to keep it down, I could have found you two through sound alone. I'm going back."

I sighed, "We should probably-" my words were cut short as lips moved along my neck. His fingers moved in time with each brush of his mouth, the skillful ministrations pushing my pants lower with each brush of callouses against smooth, flushed skin. A moan escaped me before I could close my mouth again, and a warm puff of air moistening my neck gave away my captain's dark chuckle. I licked my lips and tried again, "We need to stop."

Levi didn't move as he growled.

I rolled my eyes and flipped our positions, pushing him into the grass. He didn't fight me but I could feel the weight of his gaze hungrily roll over the exposed expanse of my hips as I pushed myself onto my knees and got my pants properly situated. I sat back on my heels, ready to tell him exactly why we had to stop but flinched as I solidly pressed my backside against his erection. Levi's eyes snapped shut and he grunted as his hips bucked, seemingly without his volition.

The sudden movement thrusted me forward, knocking me off balance. I flailed. Levi cursed, his hands bracing against the top of my thighs. I pushed my hands against his stomach and chest to catch myself. He grunted again for an entirely different reason, coughing slightly as I fell forward. Confused, I gently pressed along the skin under my palm, realization flooding me as the skin gave, showing the bruise long before color would rise to the surface. I hissed, jerking away from him.

I ventured, "are you-?"

"Fine," he ground out.

After allowing a moment for us to catch our breaths, I continued, "We need to stop. Mostly because we don't have any other clothes to change into. We can't walk up to Erwin covered in sex."

Levi let out a long breath. I shifted uncomfortably as the silence settled around us. The grip against my thighs tightened and a finger playing along the inside of my thigh made me shiver as he muttered, "Would you get off me? You should know that I'm not going to attack you."

I lifted a knee and turned away from him before standing. My legs wobbled, but I managed to take a few steps away. I couldn't recall when exactly the moon had taken her place in the sky, but without Levi's warmth, the night air was startlingly cold. I lifted my arms and let me eyelids drift shut, taking in a long breath of chilled air. A smile touched my lips as I breathed in the soft smell of fallen leaves and cold earth. Undoubtedly, this was what Levi smelled like, but better, stronger. I wondered briefly if I smelled like autumn now. I found that I wasn't entirely opposed to carrying the scent.

After a few minutes, Levi came to stand beside me. "What are you doing?"

I shrugged, "Letting you take care of yourself."

A quiet snort, "No, why do you look like you're trying to take off? You look like a brat."

If you lift your arms and close your eyes, it almost feels like you are taking off.

I couldn't say that. Instead, I sighed through my nose and shoved my hands into my pockets, turning back toward the cabin. I grinned at him over my shoulder, "then you obviously have a thing for brats, perverted old man."

I turned and began walking away, my heart racing at the possibility of his retaliation. I yelped as arms encircled me and pulled me close to his chest, Levi's voice was pure gravel as he murmured into my ear, "The next time you get me that turned on, I won't let you go."

I craned my neck, grazing my teeth along the edge of his jaw, "You couldn't make me stay even if you wanted to."

A/N: I hope you guys enjoyed it! I had a lot of fun writing this chapter despite its monstrous length. I have no idea when my next post will be because this new semester is shaping up to be a nightmare, but the story is far from over so I hope you'll stick with me. Long journeys are always more fun with friends. (: Thanks for reading!