I'm busy writing another chapter with Kirs, but you guys can have this for now, sorry it took me so long to update!
twilight782, I swear to god you get that mutated pencil sharpener away from me or I'LL SMASH IT! AND THEN I'LL NEVER UPDATE AGAIN!
Ok, I'm kidding about not updating, but I will smash it. :)
Jasper: -yawn- So what's this chapter about?
You'll see, oh you'll see. ;)
Strawberry Daiquiris
Strangely, Edward had decided to drag Bella out for a well, outing. Why? Um, well, he's Edward, he felt like it that's why! Besides, wherever Bella and Edward go, trouble's bound to follow.
"And we're going to a bar why?"
"It's not a bar exactly. It's more of a sports bar." Bella shook her head.
"Yes but they both serve beer don't they? They both have the word bar in the name."
"Well obviously bar would have the word bar in the title." Emmett huffed from the backseat. Bella sighed and turned to face Edward, pressing her head against the cold window of the Volvo. Alice was busy playing with Jasper's hair from the backseat while Emmett was talking sports to Edward who was barely listening.
"Are we there yet?"
"Emmett, please, not that again. Didn't you use that enough on the beach?" (Beach Party with the Cullens! Our first story ever!!!!)
"Mmm….no."
"Well fine, we're there."
"Really?!"
"No."
"Oh come on!"
"Hey Edward?"
"Yes Alice?"
"Are we there yet?" Edward's grip on the steering wheel tightened as he gritted his teeth.
"No."
"Are we there ye- OW!" Emmett yelped from the backseat as Edward redrew his fist, smirking. "MY BRAIN!"
Bella was smirking at Edward as Alice and Jasper laughed at Emmett who was busy mocking Edward from the backseat.
"Serves you right." He rose an eyebrow at her, not bothering to watch the road.
"For what?"
"For bringing a bunch of underage-" She quickly glanced around the car full of vampires. "…..erm, people, to a bar!"
"Bu-"
"Edward, where are we going anyway?" Jasper piped up from the backseat, trying to get Alice to stop messing with his hair.
"Here." Edward pulled into a concrete parking lot and stopped the car, helping Bella out.
"Lucky Louie's Luau Lounge for Lizards?" (XD)
"Well, there were no other suitable sports bars and- Bella?" Edward looked around to almost packed parking lot and saw his girlfriend walking toward the entrance to the bar in a huff. "Hey! Wait!"
Emmett watched his brother run after Bella and turned back to Alice who was busy trying to pry Jasper's fingers off of the inside door handle.
"Oh Jasper, stop being such a pansy."
"I AM NOT A PANSY!"
"Jasper, only a pansy would hang onto a car door when his girlfriend tries to drag him into a sports bar." Emmett quickly looked around, noticing a few people giving them some strange looks. "Uh, Alice, I think we're causing a scene." Alice immediately let go of Jasper. She bit her lip, trying to come up with a decent threat.
"Jasper, either you come out of the car or…..or…….WE'RE THROUGH!" She screamed at him, trying not to laugh. Both Emmett and Jasper had froze, watching her with wide eyes. Jasper slowly climbed out of the car, towering over Alice.
"Come on Jazzy! This should be fun!" Alice was now beaming as she practically skipped toward the entrance to Lucky Louie's Luau Lounge for Lizards.
0o0o0o0o0o0o0
Edward and Bella sat on barstools, currently arguing.
"Oh come on Bella. It can't seriously be that bad." Bella looked Edward dead in the eye.
"It smells like smoke and god knows what here. Doesn't that bother you?"
"Well, a bit," Edward shook his head, "But I've gotten over it."
"Yeah? So tell me, how does it feel to have cotton balls stuck up your nose to block out the smells?"
"I think they're stuck."
"Lovely." Bella began to laugh as she helped Edward pull the cotton balls out of his nose.
A young redheaded bartender walked over to them, watching them curiously from the other side of the counter. "Can I get you two anything?"
"Er…." Edward trailed off and looked at the list of none alcoholic drinks. "I'll get her a strawberry daiquiri." The guy nodded and walked of to get her drink.
"What if I don't like strawberry daiquiris?" Edward sighed and closed his eyes.
"Why are you being so difficult Bella?" She shrugged at him, smirking.
"Now you know how I feel when-" One of his eyebrows rose as he went to respond. He was interrupted by the bartender when he set down Bella's drink.
"Enjoy." He then turned and walked away not bothering to ask for the payment.
Reluctantly, Bella reached for the drink, and took a sip. And another……and another…….and another….. After only a few minutes, she was done with it.
Redhead man came back, and immediately gave her a new strawberry daiquiri. She opened her mouth to protest, but the guy disappeared again.
"So where's Emmett, Alice, and Jasper?" Bella asked Edward, who just sat there.
"Emmett and Jasper are playing darts, and Alice is just watching them."
"Oh." She took a sip of her free refill and rolled her eyes when Edward smiled at her.
"So they're that good huh?"
"Wanna try some?" Bella asked jokingly. "Hey!" She laughed when Edward actually took it, and chugged it. It was soon empty, and Edward smiled at her.
Redhead came back with another refill.
0o0o0o0o0o0o0
"Hey Jasper, I'm gonna go check on Bella and Edward, be right back!" Alice smiled and stood up only to duck, barely missing one of Emmett's stray darts. "Geez Emmett! Learn to throw!" Emmett glared at her as she rolled her eyes. Jasper nodded to her.
"Have fun." She smiled again and pecked him on the cheek before wandering toward Edward and Bella at the bar.
Bella was glaring at Edward who sat on his stool, cringing.
"Edward?" What's wrong? Alice tilted her head to the side as Edward glanced at her nervously.
"A-Alice! I'd run if I were you!" Bella swiveled in her stool to look at Alice.
"TRYING TO STEAL MY MONKEY ARE WE?!" She screeched at Alice, who was backing away.
"I- Huh?" Both of Alice's eyebrows rose as Bella stood and stumbled toward her.
"I know what you're up to you little elf! Come from under that tree stump have we? Come to wreak havoc for no reason whatsoever?" Bella was glaring at Alice now. Many people in the bar were now watching these two, quickly turning away when Edward glared at them.
"Bella, just chill!" Alice shrieked –getting Jasper's attention- when Bella rose her arm. She froze when Bella merely draped her arm across her shoulders.
"Alice? You know you're my best friend right?"
"Er, yes?"
"There you go!" Bella walked back over to the counter, bumping into Edward who wrapped his arms around her. "Let me go you weirdo stalker…dude!" Edward immediately released her.
"Bella!" She covered his mouth with her hand.
"Edward, I love you…..You're my bestest friend!" She threw her head back and cackled.
"Uh, Bella, are you feeling okay?" Bella sighed a stood up, walking away.
She kept walking until she found Mike, Tyler, and Connor all playing pool and laughing.
"Hey! I know you!" She went over to Mike and wrapped an arm around his shoulders. He was both shocked and pleased at the same time.
"Er, hey Bella. What's up?" Bella blinked, leaning into him. It was silent for a minute before she stood on her tiptoes to whisper into his ear.
"Don't worry, I won't tell anyone your secret!" At this Mike looked down at her in confusion.
"Uh what? What secret?" He said leaning down. Bella stared up at him blankly and then gave him an odd expression that can only be explained as angry, annoyed, and…excited. She pulled back and smiled really wide before screaming,
"I won't tell anyone you're gay!" The music stopped abruptly, everyone turned to stare at Bella and Mike, Tyler and Connor exchanged a nervous glance and took a few steps back, and Mike stared at Bella, scared.
"Uh Bella, if I were gay, why would I ask you out?" Apparently Bella didn't care about what he said or just didn't listen because she was busy singing.
"If you were gay, that'd be ok! 'Cuz I'd love you anyway!" She then began doing the Macarena for gods-know-why while Mike continued to tell people that he WAS NOT gay.
0o0o0o0o0
Alice had her 'wand' –which was actually a pencil- pointed at Edward's neck while Emmett stood next her, his arms folded over his chest.
"Why is she acting like this Edward?" Alice hissed through her teeth at her wide eyed brother.
"I-I swear I have no clue!" Alice hissed and poked his neck with her pencil. "Okay okay! She-she had a few drinks."
"What kind of drinks?!"
"Strawberry Daiquiris!" Alice gaped at him and let go, taking a step back, slapping her forehead.
"Ugh, Edward you moron! Those drinks are alcoholic! Duh!" It was Edward's turn to gape at her now.
"But they were on the non-alcoholic drinks menu!" Alice froze and narrowed her eyes at Edward.
"So what? It's obvious that she has alcohol in her system! How do you think Charlie's going to react?! What about Carlisle and Esme?!"
"Oh. Crap."
"Ya think?!"
0o0o0o0o0o
"Bella, get down from there now."
"No!"
"Get. Down. Now." Bella was currently holding onto the ceiling fan which was spinning around.
"MAKE ME JASPER!" Jasper sighed and reached up with one hand, grabbing her foot, "IYAH!"
He gasped, trying to catch her and make sure that her head didn't her the floor, only for her to wrap her arms around his neck and scream in his ear.
"Ow. I'm deaf now! Thanks a lot Bella!" He cried, cringing and putting her down at the same time.
"You're welcome!" That's when it happened. Of course Bella had no idea what she was doing. Of course, if she did know what she was doing, she may have done something to stop it, but of course she didn't so-
Okay, anyways.
Bella stood up on her tiptoes and gave Jasper a quick kiss. And Edward, Alice, and Emmett just so happened to show up at the same time.
"Jasper?!" Bella screeched at him. Jasper was shaking with fear as he slowly opened one eye to look at the deranged girl before him. "WHAT GIVES YOU THE RIGHT TO SELL MY HAIR TO THAT BALD LLAMA OVER THERE?!" She yelled, pointing at Lauren who as gossiping to Jessica.
"What did you call me?" Bella took a deep breath and turned to yell at her.
"You heard me you pimple!" Lauren stood with a huff and glared at Bella.
"You want to bring this outside?"
"Sorry Grandma, but this has been over from the beginning! You never had a chance." A couple people in the bar 'oohed' at this remark, and Lauren's face turned red with rage.
"Why you little-!"
"Come on Bella, let's go." Edward grabbed onto Bella arms and proceeded to drag her outside, despite her pathetic protests. Emmett soon followed behind them, leaving Alice and Jasper to stand there in the middle of the crowd. Alice turned to glare up at her husband before practically growling her next words.
"You're lucky Edward got her drunk." Jasper gulped and gave a quick nod before they too had left the bar to walk back to the Volvo.
0o0o0o0o0o
"Okay, Edward, how many daiquiris did you give her?" Alice prodded, glaring at her brother.
"Uh," Edward looked around nervously, his hands gripping the wheels even tighter than before. There were now imprints of where his hands had been on it. "I lost count someone after nine or ten…"
"NINE OR TEN?!" Alice screamed from the backseat. "Why Edward? Why why why why why?!?!?!"
"I-I don't know! She said they tasted good and- and-" Bella lurched forward, grabbing her stomach.
"EVIL LEPROCHAN! COMGIN TO STEAL YOUR SOUL!" She then sat back as Alice and Jasper tried their best to scoot away from her.
"But-" Edward was cut off when Bella leaned forward again, a sickening sound filled the car, followed by a low moan.
"Ugh, my nose!" Emmett cringed, grabbing his nose.
"My husband!" Alice stared down wide-eyed.
"My car….." Edward bit his lip and gripped the wheel harder.
"My stomach…" Bella moaned. Jasper had froze, shuddering.
"My feet……."
----------
Jasper: o.O
I thought that chapter was a bit weird and random, but random is good and I had fun writing this chapter.
Besides, I'm sugar high after eating some double chocolate cake from my birthday last week………Mmm……chocolate cake…
Jasper: Yeah, just what you need. More sugar.
What? It was good!
Jasper: Fine. Whatever. Why did you make Bella throw up on ME?! Why why why?!
Well, that's just how it turned out, what can I say?
Jasper: -grumbles-
MOOSEN! I SAW A FLOCK OF MOOSEN!
Jasper: What the-
Well if I put the boxes on the scale I can't see the NUMBERS!
Jasper: Wha-
The weight is 10 pounds and the girth is……3.
Jasper: 3 what?
3…..girth units.
XD Isn't Brian Regan hilarious?
Jasper: Uh, sure?
I only said the thing about the NUMBERS because I know that it's probably one of PARTY AT THE INSTITUTE's favorite lines from Brian Regan's UPS improv. XD
Jasper: Er, that's nice.
Okay, so I know that you gave out hugs last time and really aren't looking forward to it again-
Jasper: Ya got that right!
So this time, we have……
DRUM ROLL
Emmett giving out hugs!
Emmett: Uh…
Fine, I'll have Jake do it then!
(Some) Reviewers: NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!
Jake: -pouts-
A Burning Comfort: You hug any of those other people and WE'RE THROUGH!
Jake: O.O No April! No!!
April: Don't you dare hugs anyone!
Jake: I-I won't! I promise!
April: Thank you.
Uh yeah, we're gonna skip these two now… Er April, do you mind? It's kinda weird watching you two…you know…
April: What's so weird about watching two people read a book.
Well, the reading the book part isn't weird; it's the fact that Jake's practically drooling on you that's creeping me out.
April: Um…
Ok, how 'bout we end this here and let out lovely reviewers press the purplish-gray button to review?
April: Yeah, let's do that…
Oh, and one more thing. Just a newsflash for everyone else. April and Jacob are married, and Jake imprinted on her awhile ago, so he's no longer single. Please put down your flaming pitchforks and precede to find a better outlet for your anger- and I don't mean plotting my demise. I'd rather not die anytime soon just because I married April and Jake.
Jasper: UH, Kate?
What?
Jasper: There's a red dot on your forehead.
OH. MY. GOD. -ducks-
April: Er, let's just end this here, ok?
(muffled by floor) Ok.
April: So…bye everyone and remember to review! –looks down at Kate- Did I say it right?
Uh, sure?