When Pain Doesn't Hurt Chapter 25
I don't own SVU or the characters, just the story.
John was resting peacefully with his wife by his side. Olivia and Elliot entered his room quietly. The sounds brought back recent memories for Olivia. John's wife immediately came over and shook Olivia's hand.
"Thank you so much for saving my husband, Detective Benson."
"I do believe it was quite possibly the other way around. How's he doing?" Olivia glanced toward Elliot's young partner.
"He's going to be okay. Out of work for a while, but he'll definitely be around to see our daughter grow up. He's been asking to see you."
Olivia smiled at the woman before heading over to John's side. He opened his eyes as she approached. "Benson." he smiled at her.
"How're you doing?" Olivia took his hand in hers.
"Been better, I guess. How about you? Get that leg looked at?"
"Minor. Thank you, John. You showed up just when I needed you." Olivia looked towards Elliot who was leaning up against the back wall giving them time.
"Can I say something that may be out of line, Detective?" John asked causing Elliot to join Olivia by the side of the bed. "I was in a lot of pain, but I heard and saw the whole situation when Gomes showed up."
"What do you mean, John?" Olivia felt Elliot's hands on her shoulders.
"Everyone knows his reputation. He hates woman being on the force. Been reprimanded often for comments to that effect." John glanced up at Elliot before continuing. "He knew it was you, he just wanted to make you conform to him. He couldn't stand that you are as strong if not stronger than him."
Olivia could feel Elliot's hand tighten on her shoulders a bit causing her to look up at him before back to John. "I'll deal with him. Get better, okay. Elliot needs you in good shape."
John nodded at her as Olivia headed for the door. "Detective Benson?"
Olivia turned to face John again. "Thank you for being strong. I never would've made it out of there alive if it weren't for you."
Olivia smiled and nodded before leaving the room. She sat down on the bench outside the ICU ward and took deep breaths. She buried her face in her hands as she felt the tears start. She felt somebody sit down next to her, but didn't bother to look up.
"Elliot called me, thought you'd need a friend." Casey draped her arm around Olivia's shoulders.
Olivia sat up and leaned her head back against the wall as the two women sat in silence for a few minutes.
"Case, I think I've had enough." Olivia let out a long sigh.
"Yeah maybe." Casey heard her friend. "Looks like Kylie and her little brother will be moved out of state to an aunt who will take custody. Kylie's father died in the warehouse. The two dead at the apartment were Kylie's mother and stepfather."
Olivia stared straight ahead. "What am I going to do about Gomes? What can I do?" Olivia rubbed her chest absentmindedly as she spoke. Casey watched her carefully.
"Still sore?" she asked concerned.
"Yeah, my vest is heavy; agitates it." Olivia ran her hand through her hair and let out another sigh. "Elliot almost lost another partner."
"Yeah, but he didn't." Casey worked to keep Olivia talking. "Been tough without him, huh?"
Olivia still stared ahead. "I miss him in so many ways, Case." Olivia looked to her friend. "He spent the night with me, before we got the calls for this case."
Casey smiled which encouraged Olivia to smile as well. "He's everything I dreamed he would be."
Casey hugged Olivia and whispered into her ear. "You deserve him. You deserve to be happy."
Elliot slowly walked up to the two woman and they both stood. "My boss sent me home. What about yours?" he asked Olivia winking at Casey.
"I assume the same. I wanted to stop in and see Kylie first." Olivia hugged her friend goodbye before turning to Elliot. "Come with?"
Elliot took her hand as they left the ICU ward and headed to pediatrics. Kylie was admitted for observation as she had a small gash on her forehead that required stitches. She was given a sedative to help her sleep given the ordeal she was just involved in.
Kylie's nurse directed Olivia into Kylie's room. It was dark and quiet and Olivia took comfort in the sound of the little girl's breathing. Olivia stared at her while she slept. She felt for her, losing her parents. Losing them in such a violent, tragic way. Olivia placed place her hand over the little girl's hand.
"Hi." Olivia whispered when Kylie opened her eyes. A smile instantly appeared on Kylie's face. "My name's Olivia."
"You saved me." Kylie's voice was soft and quiet.
Olivia smiled at her and moved her hair back away from her forehead. "Got a pretty bad cut on your head."
"Is my mommy okay?" Olivia's heart broke as she wished she had another answer for her other than the truth.
"No, honey. She's not." Kylie looked down at her hands.
"My daddy is dead too."
Olivia shook her head not knowing which daddy she meant, but it didn't matter. Kylie looked up at Olivia with tears in her eyes. "What about Tommy?"
"Tommy is fine. You and Tommy will be going to live with your Aunt Susie" Olivia forced the tears back as she spoke with the little girl. It's cases like these that remind Olivia just unfair life really is.
Kylie seemed content knowing she wouldn't be totally alone. Olivia watched as her eyes grew heavy until they closed and the little girl was once again sleeping. She sat with Kylie for a bit longer before heading out.
Elliot was standing down the hall talking quietly with Captain Cragen. They stopped when they noticed her come out of Kylie's room. Olivia crossed her arms in front of her chest and looked at each of them knowing something was up.
"How is she?" Cragen asked knowing how attached Olivia sometimes gets; especially with the children.
Olivia simply shrugged. "What's going on?"
"I want you to go home, take the day off. First thing in the morning, I want you in my office at eight a.m. sharp. Detective Gomes will be there as well."
Elliot sensed the apprehension in Olivia's stance. She nodded to her boss and quickly looked to the floor.
"Olivia, I need to know. Tucker needs to know exactly what happened in the warehouse."
"Tucker has had a problem with me for years now. He wants me to quit. That's why he assigned me with Gomes to begin with." Olivia's features showed defeat.
Cragen gently took his detective by the shoulders prompting her to look up at him. "Maybe so. Tucker does outrank me. It is my squad and you are my detective until he decides otherwise." Cragen looked over at Elliot briefly before returning his attention to Olivia. "Gomes is acting in an unprofessional manner that is putting lives in jeopardy. I will get the Chief of Detectives involved if I have to."
Olivia held Cragen's stare. "Go home, get some rest."
Elliot and Olivia left the hospital. The early morning sun was bright and the detectives squinted against it. Elliot slid his arm around Olivia's shoulders as they walked to his car. Olivia hesitated before opening the door. "El, I don't know if I even want to do this anymore."
Elliot used his fingers to raise Olivia's chin so her eyes met his. "You've been through hell these last weeks. You need a break maybe, but quit? I don't know, Liv, this is in your blood."
"How many more children have to be hurt or killed? How many more woman raped, scared. How much more danger will I have to put myself in before it's out of my blood?" Olivia opened the door and climbed in the car. Elliot sighed as he headed around to the driver's side.
Once home at her apartment, Olivia immediately hit the shower. The hot water against her skin eased the tension away slowly. She let the water massage her body until it began to run cold. She emerged and dressed in sweats and a NYPD t-shirt. She was disappointed to see that Elliot had left. She knew he had to get a shower himself as well as see his kids. She knew he would want to see his kids; especially after a case like this one. She lied down in her bed where she felt her body give up the ghost. Her limbs felt heavy just before she didn't feel them at all. She could still smell a hint of Elliot as she welcomed the memories of their time together that seemed so long ago. She allowed her eyes to close, just before allowing sleep to claim her.
Once home at his apartment, Elliot immediately hit the shower. He let the hot water massage his body as his thoughts were of Olivia. She was worn out; no doubt, but was she really ready to give it up. He couldn't and wouldn't blame her if she truly did want to quit. A person could only take so much; and she definitely had taken more than her share. His thoughts went to when she had called him from the warehouse. The frustration and aggravation he felt listening to Gomes try to undermine her. The danger he put them both in. Elliot emerged from the shower, dressed and headed out to see his kids before they headed out to school.
Olivia cringed as Tim came closer to her now slumped over form. It took a few seconds to process that he had indeed just punched her causing her to hit the floor. She felt the blows to her ribs and heard his angry words. She tried to get to her feet, her gun was just in the next room. Her back hit the wall harshly as Tim's angry eyes met hers. He backhanded her with enough force to make her vision blur and she felt the floor beneath her again. The slam of the door made her jump as pain pulsed though her entire body.
Olivia's eyes shot open and she listened to the stillness of her apartment. Her heart was beating erratically and she placed her hand on her chest to try to slow it. Her legs felt like lead when she tried to move them, so she lied still waiting for the panic to pass. She glanced at her clock on the bedside table, realizing she had only been asleep about two hours.
She recognized the dream for what it was. Her life was a mess right now and she definitely felt out of control. Tim was so good to her in the beginning. He was fun and made her happy. She allowed herself to think about a possible future with him if things continued to go smoothly. Of course, they didn't. Tim is now at Rikers awaiting trial for the murder of a police officer and security guard. She forced the image of Tim holding a gun to Elliot's head from her mind. She forced the image of his face just before she shot him from her mind as well.
Olivia felt her eyes slowly close as she tried to clear her mind. She was so exhausted, physically, emotionally, mentally. How she wished Elliot were here with her. She reached for her phone and hit the familiar speed dial number.
"Stabler." Elliot's tone told her he knew it was her calling.
"Hey. Did you see your kids?"
"I did. You okay?"
There was silence. "Liv?"
"I need you." Olivia whispered into the phone.
"I'll be right there." Elliot hung up and the phone and headed to her apartment. She needed him and he wanted her. He felt his heart speed up as he neared her apartment.
Elliot slid into the bed with his former partner, still not totally believing this was really happening. He wrapped her in his arms and felt her body relax against him. He listened until her breathing fell into a peaceful rhythm before he surrendered to his own exhaustion.