He didn't know what he was thinking when he took Eren into his arms when he was falling apart right in front of him. Levi already told himself as he drank himself into numbness last night that he wouldn't come close to the kid unless he was having a panic attack. He couldn't allow himself to think of what he did in the shower, of how touching himself to an image of a lust filled and eager Eren made him cum like a fucking teenager.
However, the sight of a sobbing Eren wasn't the first thing he expected to see first thing in the morning, especially when he had a massive headache forming in the front of his head. If he'd know it was the kid, he wouldn't have instinctively reached for the knife he kept hidden underneath his pillow. He never had to use it before, since he's never had someone break into this house yet but after the warnings that Erwin had been giving him over the past couple of days, he couldn't be too safe. Levi regretted his actions, from seeing the terror in those emerald eyes as he pressed the large knife against his neck. He had thrown the knife across the room, trying to put as much distance between Eren and the instrument before he went into a panic attack.
However, the attack never came. Even after he scolded him, stressing how close he could have been to killing him, the kid had the balls to smile up at him with so much warmth filling those bright eyes. He could see his hands twitching slightly, like they wanted to reach up and touch him, which was something that Levi needed to draw the line at. Especially, when he realized that he was mostly straddling the Eren, his hips resting on right above his knees. The anger for this kid and his idiotic way of waking Levi up started to slowly disintegrate and he started searching for the reason why he'd been hysterically crying.
He didn't find anything, not that was new anyway. The knife that been pressed into his neck was extremely sharp and even when he lightly placed it on the Eren's neck, it cut into his flesh still. The cut wasn't deep and only a couple beads of blood leaked out from the small wound. He reached down and wiped the small amount of blood off of his neck. No more blood came out so he figured that it was going to heal very soon and it wasn't going to turn into another scar.
Wanting to wash the blood on his thumb, he tried to get up but Eren snaked his arms around him and kept him in place, pleading with him not to leave. He hated himself at the second, mostly for the fact that instantly his mind started creating inappropriate scenarios with the position that they were currently in. Deciding that the faster that he can get to the root of the problem, then the faster he can get Eren safely away from him.
Once Levi understood why he was being hysteric and sobbing into his shoulders, he couldn't imagine what actually happened in Eren's nightmare. He couldn't think of what he saw that made so much fear and terror fill his emerald eyes. That he actually believed that Levi was dead in the reality as well. He wanted to do something that could subside the lingering fear that stayed in his eyes and the art supplies that he bought could finally be put to use.
He'd completely forgotten about the shattered glass in the kitchen and the small amount of blood that leaked out of his palm. Levi had been aware enough to try and not pick up the glass being slightly intoxicated and left the mess for the next day. Now, he wished that he had cleaned it up, feeling partly responsible for causing Eren to cry. Though it surprised him that Eren offered to heal the cut on his palm and the thought of the kid's mouth on his skin made his gut tighten, thinking of the previous night of where that same mouth and tongue came into contact with. He quickly shut down the idea before his imagination could run wild with another fantasy that would never happen. Getting Eren to paint or draw with the art supplies that he got from him, it would distract him from whatever still plagued his mind from his nightmare. On top of that, it would get the brunette out of his hair for a bit so he could take control of his thoughts again and work a bit. He just hoped that whatever was happening to him, that made him act like a horny teenager, would go away and fast.
He made a quick breakfast, well lunch, of just oatmeal with some brown sugar, so Eren could eat as he cleaned up the glass and blood in the kitchen. It didn't take too long, thankfully, and Eren was still eating when he headed into his office and began setting up a small art studio. Laying down the clear tarp on the ground and securing another one to the wall across the easel, not wanting to find any of his books with a spot of paint on them.
Levi had to dig through his hall closet to find an old, foldable table that he had bought for some ungodly reason and decided that Eren could use it to hold all of the paint instead of it being placed on the ground. He placed all of the variations of colors all over the table and grabbed paint brushes of various shapes and sizes to be placed in a plastic cup. Then on the side, he placed one of the many sketchbooks that he purchased and a handful of pencils next to the book. After he was done, he almost didn't recognize half of his office.
Eren came in shortly after he fixed and placed everything in order. His bright eyes grew massive as he took in the transformation of the office and almost tripped over himself getting to the easel and the paints that covered most of the table. His scared fingers ran over the various tubes, each color different than the last. He could see Eren's lips beginning to quiver, trying to hold in whatever he was feeling and Levi was tempted to go over and give the kid a hug. Those emerald eyes turned toward him, beginning to fill with tears but he quickly wiped them away with the end of his sleeve.
"Thank you," he simply said.
He was tempted to tell him that Hanji was not the one that bought all of this, that he did it but he quickly shot down that idea. "Don't thank me, it's Hanji that bought everything," Levi explained.
Eren's eyes narrowed slightly like he remembered something but just nodded before turning his attention back to the paints below his fingertips. He tried to ignore his instinct to reach across the small space between them and place his own fingers against Eren's.
What the hell is happening to me?
Work had eventually ruled the majority of his day. Sitting in his chair with laptop switching between his lap and desk and answering the various emails from Erwin and other members of the Recon. Every once in a while, he would look up from his screen to check in on the other half of the room. The first time he was surprised that Eren was just sitting in front of the canvas that Levi placed on the easel. In his hand was a paintbrush but he held it as his side, looking from the mountain of paint and the blank canvas.
Finishing up the sentence for one of his emails, he got up from his large, rolling chair and made his way behind Eren. He checked his phone and realized that Eren had been mostly staring at a blank canvas for twenty minutes, barely moving.
"Whatcha doing?" Levi asked as he stood behind the kid.
He could have sworn that Eren almost jumped three feet in the air and almost tripped over himself falling out of the stool. Luckily, he managed to grab a flailing arm before the kid slammed into the canvas and the table full of paints. Eren turned to him when he finally regained his balance, a blush consuming his face and traveling down his neck.
"What are-What are you doing?" Eren asked, stuttering through his sentence and making Levi think that the action was cute.
Dismissing his last thought, he raised an eyebrow at Eren and removing his hand on his arm. "I asked you first," he simply stated.
The only answer he really got back was a huff before he climbed back onto the stool he was sitting on before and stared at the canvas again.
"I don't know what to do…like to paint," he began. "I haven't really…you know…seen anything besides what's in this apartment…"
Levi nodded as he tried to explain what how he felt and he offered the best thing that he could do at the moment.
"Take a break," he suggested. "Eat something and then come back…maybe inspiration will strike you."
All Eren did was nod as he placed the paintbrush that he still had between his fingers on the table and headed off out of the office. As soon as he left the room, Levi found himself going back to his laptop and googling images of landscapes. Of mountains, springs, fields full of bright flowers, and the ocean. He didn't know what came over him as he printed photo after photo of a bird's eye view of New York City or the little blue houses of Greece. All he could think about was the smile that Eren would wear across his face as he took in these photos from around the world and what he could recreate with them.
He trusted Eren enough to find the small number of snacks that Levi had in his pantry so instead of checking in on him, he placed a large number of photos in the only available place on the table. Eren had learned his lesson from the morning he burned himself and almost everything in his apartment to the ground, so he wasn't under Levi's carefully watch completely anymore. He wouldn't come near the stove with a ten-foot pole and he only managed to show him how to work the microwave shortly after the mishap in the kitchen that one morning. At least he could heat up leftovers and follow simple instructions on the back of frozen food bags if Levi asked him to.
Levi returned back to his seat, trying to go back to the rhythm that he had before but kept finding his eyes going to the door, waiting for Eren to come back. It didn't take too long to hear his bare feet walking back into the office and noticed the napkin in his hand, full of crackers, the only thing that he really had in his kitchen. Maybe later he would go shopping and ask if Eren wanted to join him if he did than he would wait until it was almost dusk. He nibbled on a cracker as he moved back to his stool and was about to place the napkin on top of the pictures that Levi printed out. His hand hovered over the pictures, realizing that there was now something covering the only place that had been free space. Placing the napkin into his lap, he grabbed the large stack and began going through the photos. With every turn of the pictures, his emerald eyes widen and scanning the landscapes in each of them.
Those eyes lingered on one of the photos and then they turned toward Levi, who wasn't pretending to be very interested in an empty email reply.
"Wh-…how?" Eren started, still clinching the pictures in his fingers.
"They're just photos that I found on the internet. No big deal," he dismissed quickly, trying not let his eyes linger on Eren's quivering lip and the slight shake in his hand.
"Can you-…can you show me-…or tell me where these are from?"
Levi finally looked up to see that the kid looked ready to burst into tears and for a second he worried that printing out those photos may have done more harm than good. However, the worry was quickly vanishing when a breath-taking smile overtook Eren's face and it felt like someone was tugging at his heart.
"Of course," he whispered before signaling Eren to come over.
They eventually moved to the cushions so that Levi could show him the locations of the various photos that he gave him. Eren had been standing next to him, almost hovering over him with wide eyes as he absorbed all the information that he was receiving. Though Levi quickly noticed that he was shifting his feet and favoring neither of them. Once he suggested sitting on the cushions, relief swept across his face and once Eren sat down, he started to rub lightly over the scars on the top of his feet. He took a reminder for himself that his feet would bother him if he stood for too long on them.
The next few hours passed quickly, with Levi researching different countries and locations that were on the photos. Everything that the kid was hearing was being absorbed like a sponge and more questions kept pouring out of his mouth seconds after Levi answered one. He expected to feel annoyed with answering question after question, with no end in sight, but the reward of seeing Eren so determined to remember everything he was told, was good enough.
They spent the most time on places that were either surrounded by water or beaches that had crystal clear waters. Levi couldn't help but notice that excitement that filled the kid's eyes when he saw them and he had to hold his tongue, stopping himself from asking why the ocean got such a different reaction out of him more than anything else.
As they read articles and scrolled through photos side-by-side, a question popped into Levi's head and he couldn't stop this one from rolling out of his mouth.
"You know how to read, right?" he asked.
Eren looked over at him then, another blush threatening to consume his face as he bit his lip lightly. "Petra taught me…or just brushed up on what I've learned before," he explained. "I don't remember school…if I even went to school so obviously I don't remember the lessons. She taught me basic math and a couple of other things…I told her that it was a waste of time because I truly believed that I would never escape from there…Now I'm happy that she pushed for me to learn."
Levi nodded as he talked and it honestly didn't surprise him that Petra would go as far to try and teach the boy everything that Eren missed out on. She had told him during one of their late nights at the office, when tiredness almost had them on the verge of drunkenness, that if she hadn't been involved with this life, she would have become a teacher. He wanted to tell her to follow her dreams, to abandon this life but no matter what he would have said, she would have continued to follow him until her dying breath. Levi hadn't known it, even when she 'resigned' that she would do exactly that, but just not for him. He looked over at the only student that Petra managed to teach, wondering what she managed to teach him in the two short years that they were together. Even before she promised to help him escape, before she even knew that it was possible, Petra wanted to educate and reintroduce him into society somehow.
She had so much faith in getting him out.
He had the uncontrollable urge to reach out and touch Eren, whether it be the side of his face or even his upper arm but he quickly suppressed those foolish desires and turned back to his computer screen. Levi blamed his pint up sex drive for his sudden inappropriate thoughts about the person next to him if he'd only get laid before he did something he would regret.
"I think I know what I want to paint," Eren suddenly said, turning toward him and understood quickly how close they were to each other.
Their noses almost touched and if Levi managed to move slightly forward, his lips would be pressed against Eren's. Alarm bells began ringing at that thought, warning him to back the fuck out of the situation before something he'd regret happened. He was the first to move, to put some distance between the two of them and ignored the way that Eren's blush traveled past his face and spotted his neck.
"Do you want me to print anything out for you?" he coughed, clearing his throat and scrolling through more images of beaches and waves from the ocean.
"No…I think I have it handled," Eren explained as he got up from beside him and headed back over to his stool.
Levi stared after him as all of the excitement that filled his eyes and frame deflated from his body, and he couldn't help but know that he was the fault of that. He couldn't do anything about it and shouldn't, so he put his laptop back on his desk and sat back in his own seat. The hours that spent informing Eren of places that he's probably never see put him behind schedule, meaning that he'd most likely work into the night. He didn't plan on getting that much sleep tonight anyway.
Levi dove himself into his work, doing as much as possible and only remembering to take a break when both his and Eren's stomach growled, realizing that it was almost seven in the evening. He had managed to almost do everything that Erwin sent him and files that had been missed up by members below him. Annoyed that he had to clean up the mess of other's below him, Erwin claimed that it was because he had nothing better to do than be babysitter. He wanted to rip him a new one but didn't want to bother Eren, not when he seemed so focused on what he was creating on the canvas in front of him.
It was the first time that he saw so much determination etched into Eren's face. His emerald eyes constantly flickering across the whole canvas, muttering to himself about colors and shapes, and shaking his head as his fingers came across the different paint available to him. Levi found himself captivated when he allowed himself to look up, giving his eyes the tiniest break before pulling himself away and back into his work.
Deciding to take a short enough break to make dinner and go back to work, he headed into the kitchen and pulled out the little that he had in his fridge. He definitely needed to go grocery shopping. While they both ate, he would ask if Eren wanted to go with him. It wouldn't be that busy, almost no one went to the store this late at night when they were about to close in less than three hours.
Spaghetti was the best course of action after he found some spared noodles and an unopened jar of sauce in the back of the pantry that was only two months away from expiring. He tasted it to make sure that it was still fine and thankfully it didn't make him want to throw up at the smell or taste. There was some jarred garlic that he used as a last resort and other vegetables that looked a few days from going bad but still had a slight snack when he cut them. If something he put into the sauce had gone bad, at least Eren would be the first to know and hopefully say something before they ate half of their meal.
It didn't take too long for the sauce to come together and the noodles were almost cooked when Eren must have smelt the food. Levi saw him from the kitchen window and he couldn't help the small smile that curled his lips at the amount of green and blue-hued paint covering his face and hair. He quickly shut it down before Eren rounded the corner and entered the kitchen, sitting on the island.
"What do you think you're doing?" he found himself asking, turning his back on the simmering sauce to stare at the kid.
"My back hurts," Eren complained.
"You have paint all over you."
He looked down at himself and Levi noticed that his face and hair were not the only casualties of being smothered in paint. The splattering of paint covered his fingers, nails, and even some on his lower arms. Eren gave him a sheepish smile and he couldn't help but notice that the green and blue paint managed to bring out another color that was hidden in his eyes. Flecks of gold and blue were now visible in those emerald eyes and he had to stop himself from getting a closer look at them.
"Wash your hands before you eat," Levi instructed him, turning back around to taste test the noodles and make sure they were fully cooked.
Eren hoped off the island and began to wash away the paint that stained his hands at the sink. He was about to shut off the water when Levi saw flecks of paint still underneath his nails and reached across to turn the water back on when Eren shut it off. He looked at him questioning his action and Levi just simple pointed at his nails.
"You missed a couple of spots," he simply said, but returning to stirring the sauce, waiting for Eren to be done so he could drain the noodles.
Eren huffed a sigh in response before scrubbing rough underneath his nails and he had to roll his eyes at the intensity of how hard he was scrubbing.
"Okay, okay. You can stop before you scrub your nails off," Levi told him, grabbing the strainer and pressing his hip against Eren to make him get out of the way.
He did move but it took a little bump of his hip to make him fully get away from the sink and sent him a small smirk to tell him that he wasn't trying to be mean about it. The kid went over to the island and instead of sitting on it, he leaned against it and watched as Levi poured the boiling water into the strainer.
"Food's ready," he announced before grabbed two bowls and handing one to Eren.
They ate in silence, the only thing that played was the television in the living room and they just opted to eat on the island. Eren went back for seconds, consuming his bowl in seconds while he only managed to eat a couple of mouthfuls. It amazed him at how quickly food disappeared into the kid's mouth and wondered if he should ask about a grocery adventure before he disappeared into the office again.
"Hey," Levi said, trying to get his attention. He cringed slightly as Eren looked up at him, a noodle hanging out of his mouth and sauce smeared on his chin. "I need to get groceries and a few other things. Would you want to join me?"
He could see that Eren was trying to hide his reaction to the question, his eyes becoming wide and his hand slightly trembled. Eren dropped the fork into the half-empty bowl and placed his hands on his lap so he couldn't see them.
"Where is it?... What would I have to do?" he asked.
"You don't have to do anything, Eren. It's to get you out of the house for a bit and see a little more of the world around you. The store is a five-minute drive from here and no one is usually there this late at night," Levi explained.
Eren nodded as he talked, taking in his words and he could see the concentration dancing around his face.
"You don't have to go if you don't want to-" he started, trying to emphasize that if he truly didn't want to go, Levi wasn't going to drag him there.
"No!-…I-…I want to go…but would there be a chance that I can wear something to cover…you know, to cover these," Eren said, gesturing to the scars that covered his neck and his fingers.
"Of course…"
He wanted to tell him that he didn't need to be ashamed of the scars and had to hide them. Though he understood the need to cover up, it took himself a while to workout shirtless after he had surgery from a drive-by a couple of years back. The surgical scar ran across the top of his right hip and traveled to his navel. One of the bullets shattered a part of his hip and he'd been forced into bed rest for almost two weeks. Probably the worst two weeks of his life but Hanji was constantly with him to make sure that he didn't do anything to mess up her hard work.
Levi had to dig through his winter clothes to find a scarf for him and possibly some gloves if he wanted them.
"You need to change before we go. Don't need to get paint all over my car," he told Eren, grabbing both of their bowls when the kid shoved it slightly toward him, signally there he was done.
It didn't take too long for Levi to finish cleaning the kitchen and the dirty dishes. By the time he was done, he could still hear Eren fumbling through the piles of clothes that were still in the plastic bags that Hanji brought over. He reminded himself that he needed to make a list of things he needed, including more hangars for those clothes. First, he needed to find a scarf and gloves for Eren so he wouldn't be as nervous going out…at least he wouldn't have to worry about showing off most of his scars. Of course, the ones that covered his face, his right eyebrow severed in half and the one that ran along his left cheek to his jaw, would be harder to hide. There were others besides those two but Levi had to come close to Eren's face to see those faint ones. Though, he didn't plan on getting that close to him anymore.
Drying off his hands and heading into his room, he made his way to the back of his closet and pulling out a cardboard box that was labeled 'Winter.' It was in Hanji's crude handwriting and suddenly had no confidence that there was any winterwear in the box. She had offered her help when he needed to go through his clothing and get rid of items, and he regretted it. Mostly for the fact that she didn't listen to him and kept clothes that he now disliked.
Opening up the box, he was pleased to find that it was full of scarves, gloves, and a few heavy coats. Grabbing a large black infinity scarf and thin grey gloves, he put the box next to his closet, deciding that he would have to take them out eventually since it was getting colder by the day. Even from inside his cozy and warm apartment, every time that passed the glass doors to his porch, his teeth started chattering. He hated how quickly the weather changed here.
Maybe he would retire early. Move somewhere to a place that had almost nothing to do with the cold. He had more money than some hoped to ever earn in a lifetime and then some.
He could think about that another time, when the whole scenario with Eren passed and he was safe with his family. Holding the scarf and gloves in hand, he froze for a second, remembering that the kid would be gone from his life in a short amount of time. He wondered what he felt in his chest at that moment…it couldn't be…sadness. This kid had done nothing but turn his entire life one-eighty and he couldn't wait to go back to his workaholic life. Quickly dismissing the unwanted feelings, he went into the living room and placed the items on the glass table.
Eren was still in his bedroom and he was tempted to knock on the door to see if he was anywhere close to being done but he hadn't forgotten the last time he had done that. So, he sat on the couch and started messing with his phone, trying to entertain himself for Eren to come out.
After another five minutes of sitting on the couch, he was wondering if Eren was really going to come out of his bedroom.
"Eren? You almost done?" he called down the hallway.
He swore that he heard a slight bang like he had hit something with any number of his body parts against either the wall or drawers. Levi was tempted to go and see if he was okay, but then a second later he heard the door open. He turned toward the hallway and saw Eren come out with at least a clean face, though there was still spots of paint in his messy hair. It looked like he tried to wash some of it out, at least. He dressed in jeans that should be skinny jeans and once he gained some weight, they would be, and a long-sleeved black shirt. In his hands was black army boots and white socks were already on his feet. His face was red from where he scrubbed the paint off but he looked away from Levi as he held up the boots.
"I don't know how to put these on," he confessed.
Suddenly remembering that the only thing that Eren had worn so far was sandals and flip-flops, or he'd just go barefoot, Levi just patted the seat next to him and got up. After he made Eren sit down and grabbed the boots from him, Levi found himself surprised that he wasn't cringing that he had to touch another person's foot. He figured that it was because he was wearing socks and that was it.
"Was there nothing else for you to wear?" Levi asked as he held up one of the boots in his hand before opening it up enough to slip Eren's foot into it.
"It's mostly sandals and other open-toed shoes…there is other boots but that's about it," he explained, staring intensely as Levi began to tie his shoelaces together.
"Sounds like Hanji."
She had forgotten to get him something simple like sneakers. Shaking his head as he finished the first shoe, he patted the side of his foot to tell him to give him the other shoe. He obediently switched his feet and let Levi tie his other shoelaces before he placed his foot back on the ground.
"Ready?" he asked.
Eren just nodded in response before getting up.
Thank fuck that he grabbed his jacket because even as they stepped out of the elevator and headed to his car, his limbs were already beginning to grow numb.
"You sure you don't need a jacket?" he asked Eren's way as he tried to climb into his car as fast as humanly possible.
"No, I'm good. It actually feels nice outside," Eren replied as he pulled the seatbelt across his chest and clicked it into place.
He wanted to look at him like he had grown two heads but was too focused on getting the heat going and getting blood circulation back into his hands. Yanking the black beanie, he managed to dig out from the same cardboard box, off his head and placed into Eren's lap, he held his hands in front of the vents. He tried to make it at least warm, resisting the urge to crank it all the way to the highest setting since Eren got hot from just having a light blanket thrown over him.
"You can turn the heat up more," he heard Eren tell him.
"It's fine, you're wearing enough layers and I don't need you to sweat your ass off just because I'm a bit cold," Levi told him once he felt something when he moved his fingers. "Fuck Paradis and it's fucking weather."
A small chuckle could be heard next to him and he turned toward the kid to throw a glare his way. It managed to shut him up immediately but did nothing against the smile that he was biting back. Turning back to the steering wheel, not admitting that he thought the smile on Eren's face was nice, he turned the engine over and started pulling out of his parking space.
The nearest grocery store was a five-minute drive from his apartment and the large parking lot barely had any cars filling it. The building itself with spacious and had advertisements lining the grey, concrete walls of the weekly deals for food and other items. It was mostly an off-brand Walmart, something that Paradis didn't have but something he only experienced once when he traveled to Nevada for a short business trip. He never wanted to experience anything like it again but at least this place was cleaner and friendlier with its customers.
The whole ride over, Eren at first had been bubbling with excitement and he had to remind himself that the kid had only been to his apartment and Hanji's lab. The trip that he took to the Wings of Freedom didn't completely count, especially with the experience that he had there within such a short amount of time. However, as he pulled into the parking lot, Eren started fidgeting with the bottom of his shirt and the gloves that covered his fingers. The excitement was quickly becoming nerves.
When Levi parked as close as he could get without too many cars surround his, he didn't turn it off but turned toward Eren.
"We don't have to go inside," Levi stated.
"What?" he questioned, Eren's eyes widening as they turned toward him.
"You've been doing great so far, Eren…but I can see that you're nervous-"
"I'm not."
He rose an eyebrow at that and Eren blushed as he realized that he cut him off. "Yes, you are."
"I'm okay, really."
Levi wanted to believe him but the way he fidgeted with his gloves and obviously trying to avoid eye contact with him told him otherwise. Though, he knew how much Eren needed this. Needed to feel like he could do something that was considered normal by others. So, instead of driving home like he wanted to, Levi took a deep breath and did something that he felt like he was going to regret.
"If you start feeling anything, anything at all. Either like you're going to start having a panic attack or anything like that. You tell me immediately, understand?" he explained the rules to him.
Eren just nodded as he talked but he needed an actual verbal agreement or he wasn't going to believe anything.
"Say it," Levi instructed him.
"I will, I promise," Eren told him, holding out his pinky finger as he said those words.
Levi reached out toward the extended pinky and wrapped his own around Eren's. "You better."
The kid was constant on his ass, never moving two feet away from as they walked through the mostly empty parking lot and grabbed a shopping cart, not being grabbed a disinfecting wipe and ran it across the handle. Eren had given him his beanie that he threw on his lap before they left the car and he was pleased to have some sort of barrier between his ears and the outside world. He kept sided eyeing the kid and looking at the mannerisms that he's grown accompanied to, especially the ones that said that he was nervous or had anxiety. Besides him messing the ends of his shirt, nothing seemed to be out of the ordinary.
"Take the cart," Levi suggested, letting him take over pushing the metal cart and giving him something to do.
"You sure?" he questioned him as he grabbed the handle and took Levi's place.
He nodded as his response and walked in front of the kid as they walked into the grocery store. "Just don't ram me with it when I stop walking, so just watch out."
Levi got a hum in understanding before an employee in a lime green shirt and cargo pants greeted them. Eren reached out instantly, grabbing a hold of his sleeved arm and almost jerking Levi into him.
"Welcome," the teenaged employee with too much eye makeup greeted them.
He simply waved her off and kept moving forward which made Eren be dragged after him.
"Thanks!" Eren suddenly called out and he turned his head to see that the kid held a hand up toward the employee, then turned back toward Levi with a light blush covering his cheeks.
He got a smile out of the girl and sudden need of possession came over him, surprising himself as he grabbed the edge of the cart and forcibly turned it down the closest aisle. Which he found out quickly that he didn't need anything from it. He didn't need baby formula or diapers.
Quickly getting out of the aisle, he turned toward the produce section and heard the cart squeaking behind him. He started throwing different fruits and vegetables, even ones that he particularly didn't like but something that Eren may enjoy. The cart was already half-way full when he finally grabbed everything that he could find and pulled out a list had he made before they left. He gestured for Eren to follow him as he started to walk to another aisle but didn't hear the squeaking of the cart behind him.
Turning around he saw that Eren was becoming way to absorbed with the different colors and scents surrounding him. His nose twitched as he picked up some of the fruits that were placed in the cart and sniffed at them, a grin appearing on his lips before moving onto another fruit.
"Eren," he called out.
He quickly turned toward his voice and the blush that kept reappearing, returned to his cheeks as he dropped the orange in his hands.
"Sorry," Eren muttered as he caught up with Levi and he simply waved him off.
"You've never done this before, don't worry," he replied.
They continued their shopping adventure and Levi couldn't help but feel a bit of pride building up in his chest over Eren. When someone turned down the aisle that they were on or someone was already there, he would inch closer to Levi but had stopped grabbing onto his arm every time he saw someone new. He actually grew in confidence to smile lightly at them if they turned in their direction or give them a quiet hello if they said something first. Levi would turn toward him when they grow far enough from the others in the aisle and ruffle his hair lightly or scratch the back of his head, silently telling him that he did well without drawing too much attention. Every time that he did, Eren slightly leaned into the touch and closed his lids ever so slightly, and Levi couldn't help remembering those eyes looking at him that exact same way in his imagination. With him kneeling in front of him.
After that, he only patted him on the head when he reacted well in front of others.
Eren's eyes never stayed in one place and had a question ready for him every few steps. Thankfully it was things that he could easily answer and he seemed satisfied with everything that Levi gave to him. There were a few that threw him off and a simple search on his phone answered anything that he didn't know himself. He enjoyed the way those emerald eyes quickly filled with curiosity and not that terror that filled them this morning. Eren actually looked like he was enjoying himself. Though he could see when they stood still for a while, usually him deciding on what type or brand to get, he saw that Eren would shift his feet like he'd done before. Either the boots were starting to bother him or his tendons were bothering his feet like they had before.
He needed to hurry up…but he had one more thing he needed to add to his list of items. First, he needed to grab a crap ton of meats. He looked at the cart as they found their way to the meat section of the store and Levi started piling beef, chicken, and pork into the top section of the cart. This was more than twice the amount of food he usually gets whenever he goes shopping but now he was currently living with Eren, who had twice the size portions of a normal person or more.
"We're almost done," Levi told him as he went down the list and mentally checking off everything that was in the cart already.
"Whenever you're ready," Eren simply said, sniffing at the meat briefly before disgust consumed his face.
He just shook his head and made them go to the front of the store, bypassing the line of people waiting to check out and toward customer service. Letting out a sigh of relief, he was pleased to see that the little technology center next to customer service had his cell phone carrier.
"These look just like what you have," Eren noted when he abandoned the shopping cart to look at the different display phones littering the counter.
Levi simply hummed in response as he looked at the various phones laid out. He didn't need the newest and latest phone that came out, just something simple enough to call and text, maybe even go on the internet. He would have preferred if he could have gotten a flip-phone or even a blackberry but could find nothing. However, what did he expect? The only people that have flip-phones are drug dealers or so behind in technology.
"May I help you?" a man came over, speaking to Eren than himself.
He stiffened and immediately looked over at Levi for assistance.
"Yeah, you can help me," Levi gestured for the man's attention to be pulled onto himself.
Eren gave him a thankful look before going back to looking at the displays.
He acquired what he needed within a few minutes and Eren was so engrossed by the phones and tablets that were lining the counters, he was surprised that no one tried to make off with their shopping cart. Though now they were approaching the part of the trip that Levi was most worried about, checking out. There weren't that many people in the store but it was approaching the time that it was going to close and everyone was now rushing to get out. The only pro was that most of the lines were open so they could get people out as fast as possible, but it still had piled up.
Getting behind someone with almost the same amount of food in their cart, he waited for the woman to pile everything onto the conveyor belt and have the cashier scan everything. He felt a pull on his sleeve and looked to the side to see Eren pointing over to another line were they had customers getting out of the store faster.
"Why don't we go over there?" he asked.
Levi shook his head. "I don't want you to get surrounded by people, look behind us." He did exactly that and found no one there. "No one is going to go into a line where there are two people with full carts when there are more people with fewer items."
"Oh…I didn't-…I didn't realize."
"It's fine, brat. This has been going great so far and I don't want this to end on a sour note."
He turned toward Eren to see more blush consuming his face, eating away at his cheeks and parts of his neck.
He probably didn't realize that I was doing this for him.
He just hoped that his feet weren't going to bother him too much. The faster they got out, the better.
It took some time for the cashier to scan every time in the woman's cart and hand her the receipt, but eventually, she began to scan their belongings. Levi annoyingly noted that their cashier was the same girl that greeted them when they walked in and she tried to flirt with Eren. Though him being Eren, had no idea what to do or say. He just stood there frozen and tried to at least keep up small talk. The possession that flared up inside of him before came back in full swing and he wanted to reach over and grab him by the waist, pressing him against Levi and flicking the poor girl off. He wouldn't outwardly say that Eren was his…because he simply wasn't. He was his guardian until his actual ones were found and that included protecting him from certain individuals. Dirty, flirty teenaged girls had to be somewhere on that list.
He ignored whatever what was happening in his head and chest, deciding that he had been watching too many soap operas and romcoms with Eren, he handed over his card and didn't even look at the total. Whatever what was going on in his head recently needed to set itself straight.
Eren at this point stopped trying to talk to the girl, just nodding and shaking his head at her questions, probably having no idea what the hell she was talking about. Though, as she mentioned things like high school and other mundane things, he could see that Eren was becoming uncomfortable. So, he decided to step in, especially at her next comment.
"Isn't a bit much wearing all of that? Like the gloves and scarf?" her nasally voice carried throughout the store.
"Would you kindly stop talking for a second?" he boldly requested.
Her brown eyes traveled over to him, scoffing at him for talking to her that way and even flickered her bleached hair over her shoulder.
"We all want to go home so would you stop trying- and failing- to flirt with him so we can do exactly that?" Levi smiled slightly at her, though he knew for a fact that his eyes were anything but warm.
She didn't say anything, her shit brown eyes widening and quickly handing him his receipt. Levi only then noticed that there was a bagger that had already placed everything into a plastic bag and back into their cart.
"Thanks," he simply said, snatching the receipt from her fingers and she slightly jerked at the action.
Using this side of his mask didn't fill him with pleasure. He only used his calm and polite voice when he was trying to extract information out of his victims, right before he either stabbed them or continued whatever torture he was inflicting on them. Though this girl was starting to annoy him and it was true that he just wanted to go home, put everything away, and possible watch some shows before passing out.
"What happened back there?" Eren asked timidly after they walked outside of the store and made their way to his car.
"What do you mean?" he commented, unlocking his car and popping up the trunk before they were a couple of feet away.
"I've only seen you that way a handful of times and…usually it doesn't end well."
Levi saw Eren reach up to his throat, touching the place where just this morning, he had a knife pressed against his throat. Guilt tore away at his chest and he turned away from Eren as he started to put the bags into the trunk.
"I was just getting annoyed…it's late," he shrugged, bullshitting his way through this conversation.
No one had ever called him out on using this side of him outside of those rooms. Hanji usually made a joke, saying that he was never going to get laid if that's what happened whenever he got annoyed. Erwin would just scold him slightly before telling him to save it for whoever actually deserved it next. "Do you get annoyed that easily?"
"By people who waste my time? Yes. A lot of things annoy me, Eren."
He sighed then, stopped putting the bags into the trunk and put his hands on the edge.
"I'm not going to sugar coat this, Eren," Levi suddenly said, turning toward him and making sure to look him in the eye. "I'm not great at social…things, meaning I would rather be in my house and sipping my tea than interacting with people that I will pass on the street once and never see again. I get annoyed easily and only like as many people as there are fingers on one hand. Everyone else can fuck off. Also, I could tell that you were becoming uncomfortable and they only way to make a person like her stop, is to be a little forceful. "
He didn't know what to expect Eren to do after receiving yet another slither of information about his life but the kid nodded and rubbed the back of his neck.
"Am I-…Am I on that hand?" he asked.
It took a second for Levi to understand what he was talking about and he couldn't stop the slightly heat rising in his face, cursing his body for whatever the fuck that was. He turned back around and began to load up the trunk again. "You're okay, I guess."
He didn't need to see Eren to know that a grin was plastered across his lips.
After putting all of the groceries into his trunk, he instructed Eren to put the cart near a cluster of others. As he went off to put the cart away, Levi dug into his pocket and pulled out the cell phone that he managed to buy without Eren seeing. Though, he didn't completely know if Eren had any idea how to even get a phone or what the hell he was buying while he was looking at all of the display phones and tablets. He already set it up, the only number currently in it besides the emergency number was his own and he turned on all of the parental controls. Levi was only giving this to him for emergency reasons and that was it. Eren didn't need the internet or anything like that. If he wanted that, then he could just borrow his laptop or even his phone.
The kid came jogging back, looking ready to go back to the apartment and falling onto the couch, where he would never get up. He just needed to give this to Eren or else he would lose his nerve and never will.
"Eren, I have something for you," he announced, holding out the phone to him.
"Isn't think yours?" Eren asked, tilting his head slightly as he reached hesitantly for the phone.
"No, it's yours now…at least until we find your family. Most likely I have to go into work tomorrow morning and I don't need to come home to my house burning down again. I'll show you how it works tonight and-"
"Thank you!"
He didn't expect to almost be knocked to his feet as Eren's small frame came crashing into his stomach and chest. This was the last reaction he expected out of the kid. Levi expected him to just start sobbing in the middle of the street or simply thanking him and wanting to go back. He sometimes forgot how short Eren actually was, the top of his head only reached right below his own chin and his arms felt like they barely made it around Levi's middle. Eren kept thanking him, over and over again as his face was pressed into his chest and he even jumped up and down slightly, as much as he could being pressed against him.
"Okay, okay," Levi started, trying to pry him off of him.
This was the opposite of what he wanted to happen. He was trying to keep some distance between the two of them, especially with what had been happening for the past two days.
Eren loosened his grip finally and smiled up at him, and Levi had to clench his teeth to stop from saying whatever was on his old, perverted mind. He was right that if he got close enough, he could see the gold flecks and other hues of blue in those irises again, and he had to pull himself away. Reaching over to Eren, he just ruffled the kid's hair but stopped his movements when he felt an almost fur-like object on the sides of his head.
"Eren?" he asked cautiously.
On the sides of Eren's head were a familiar sight that he thought he would never see again. The striped cat ears that he used to rub and annoy Eren with his other form was on full display and before he could start freaking out, he ripped his beanie off his head and shoved it onto Eren's.
"Ow, what are you doing?" Eren almost demanded, trying to yank the beanie off.
"Stop," he commanded and the kid instantly froze. "Eren, your ears are out."
"Yeah, I know, they have been-"
"No, your ears ."
Realization swept across his face and he reached up to further shove them into the beanie. "I didn't…I didn't mean." He could see that Eren was beginning to fall apart, that everything they accomplished today slowly turned into nothing, at least if Levi couldn't stop whatever hole he was spiraling down.
"Hey, hey," he called at him, grabbing the sides of his face so he could put all of Eren's attention onto him. "It was a mistake, no need to freak out. No one saw it."
Just to emphasize this, he looked around the parking lot and the people that were walking around were rushing to their car to get out of cold and back to their homes.
"It's okay. You didn't do anything wrong," he continued to reason with him and managed to pull a nod out of Eren, even with his tears looking ready to burst out of his eyes and biting his lip.
He couldn't help imagining what the ears looked like underneath the piece of cloth, probably lying flat against his head and some part of him couldn't help but admit that it probably looked cute.
Stop, he needs my help.
"You're fine, so let's go back and you can keep painting, yeah?" Levi kept going, ushering Eren to the passenger seat and even opening the door for him.
He didn't say anything, just had a grip on the beanie on his head like he was afraid that the wind was going knock it off his head, as he climbed into the car. Before Levi closed the door, he gripped his arm and gave him a gentle squeeze, trying to emphasize that it was okay.
Eren stayed quiet most of the drive back and Levi couldn't help but chastise himself for pointing it out instead of dragging him into the car and then telling him. Things might have gone differently and made their little adventure mostly unsuccessful. He had been doing so well too and he made sure to mention it as he drove them back. Saying that he was proud that he did so well and that he actually talked to some people. Some of the praise managed to stop the death grip that he had on the beanie but he didn't take it off.
When they pulled into his underground parking, Eren finally spoke. He quietly mentioned that his ears might have popped out because he felt a strong emotion, and Levi could only guess that it was happiness. They never came out before, not when he was scared beyond relief or during any of his attacks.
Maybe they only come out when it's a positive emotion.
Eren continued, keeping his voice low like he was scared that someone else was going to hear, that when he transformed, sometimes parts of his other self remained. Either his tail or ears were the most common, sometimes his claws and teeth but that was rare. Though they never just sprouted out like they did in the parking lot. It probably wouldn't be the last time that is going to happen either. Though, he said the last thing like he was talking more to himself than Levi.
He let him talk, knowing how hard it was for Eren to talk about himself and anything about his transforming abilities or whatever happened when he was in the Military's hands. So, he stayed quiet as Eren took a deep breath.
"I think they drugged me…no, I know that they did...so that I couldn't turn on my own accord and dull my senses…When Petra came up with our escape plan, she made me stop taking the pills they gave me and…almost immediately my vision started to unfog and I could hear things that I hadn't been able to before. Conversations that reached up and down the hallway outside of my room and I could actually see and smell how disgusting food was that they gave me."
Levi had already parked the car but left it running, letting the warm air surround them before they had to go out back into the cold. He didn't want to interrupt Eren as he talked, especially when he knew that he needed someone to talk about what happened when he was captured.
After he was sure that Eren had stopped his story and had nothing else to add to it, he turned off the car and got out. Thankfully someone had left a luggage cart near the elevator so he managed to grab it and bring it over to his trunk before Eren fully got out of the car. Popping the trunk and beginning to unload all of the bags onto the various hooks and the bottom of the cart, he was going back and worth, wondering if he should say something to Eren about what he shared with him.
"They're wrong," he simply said.
"Huh?" Eren questioned, stopping his movement of putting some of the bags onto the cart.
"Everything they did to you was wrong and they're sons of bitches for doing that to you. You did nothing wrong."
"…Right."
Levi couldn't help but think that he wanted to say more but bit his lip instead, silencing himself.
They managed to put all of the grocery bags into the luggage cart and only had a few of them almost fall out it before Levi managed to stop them. After the ride up the elevator and opening up the front door, he banished Eren from the kitchen and helping him. The brunette was ready to fight him on the subject, already saying that he wanted to help but Levi held up a hand to stop him.
"Rest your feet and keep painting. I know that they've been bothering you. Just make sure to change back into your old clothes," he warned him before beginning to put everything away.
Eren stood in the kitchen doorway, looking torn between continuing his work in the office and helping Levi but a quick, light glare over his shoulder made him retreat.
It thankfully didn't take too long for him to put everything away; the only problem was shuffling items around and finding enough space for everything in the fridge and pantry. He bundled all of the plastic bags together and stuck it inside the pantry, always saving them in case he ever needed them and then went in to check on Eren in the office.
He had changed back into the paint covered clothes at least and he was indeed painting, though he didn't look like his heart was completely into it like before. His paintbrush would hover over the canvas as his eyes skimmed whatever he created on it like he was trying to figure out what was wrong with it. Those eyes turned toward him when he entered the room but went straight back to the canvas.
Levi walked around him and saw what he had spent the last few hours creating. It was a whirlwind of bright blues and green with all shades in between to create an ocean. The view from the canvas looked like someone was about to break the surface, only the top of the painting reflecting an orange and purple filled sky. He wished that he had more of an eye for the art as he moved a bit closer to the canvas to get a better look. He didn't realize that he stepped into Eren's space, not until he heard him clear his throat softly and saw that they were inches away from each other. Stepping back, Levi just simply leaned in more and inspected it that way.
"It's beautiful, Eren," he commented on it.
He turned in time to see Eren shaking his head slightly. "There's something off…I don't know what it is…" Eren trailed off, putting the tip of his paintbrush against his lips as he thought.
"You're always going to think there is something wrong with it. No matter if it's painting or writing, you're the artist so you're going to nitpicks it more than anyone else would. You could see it as missing or unfinished but someone else can see it as a perfect piece."
Eren simply nodded before putting the brush down on the table and wiped his hands on his pants, staining them in more blues and greens.
"Why are you so fascinated with the ocean?" Levi suddenly asked, something that had been bothering him since he first saw Eren's reaction to the photo he printed out. "There are so many things that you haven't seen, but the ocean is your main focus."
The kid stiffened, probably surprised that he managed to pick that up and looked ready to shrug but his shoulders barely moved. He stayed silent for a while and sat back down on the stool but fidgeting with his fingers, rubbing the paint off of them and picking under his nails. Levi was about to tell him to forget about it, that he didn't need to explain himself but Eren suddenly took a deep breath and looked up at him.
"I don't remember much from before…before I was taken. Of the things I remember, I feel like those memories are going to disappear soon so I wanted to paint something that-…that would help me remember at least one of them," he started. "I vaguely remember promising someone…either my mother or two friends that we would see the ocean together but-…I can't keep the promise with my mother."
"Why not your mother?" Levi questioned softly, keeping his voice low and calm.
"She sacrificed herself to save me when I was taken."
His response was too short and chipped for his liking. He wished that he could say something but he already knew that he understood. Levi knew what it was like to not have a mother anymore. Something ungodly inside of him wanted to tell Eren that he would take him to see the ocean. They honestly lived almost an hour away from the closest beach but he would prefer if it was during summer or spring.
No. That wouldn't happen. Eren was going to be leaving soon, most likely before Christmas and he would never see him again.
So he didn't say anything. Just nodded at him, saying that he understood and even resisted the urge to just touch him. Placing a hand on his arm or head would be too much right now. He noticed then that Eren was no longer wearing the beanie on his head and that those ears that almost ruined their day were gone.
"Your ears are gone," Levi noted.
Eren perked up slightly and gave him a shy smile, rubbing the side of his head where the ears once were. "Yeah, they probably went away in the car."
"Do they just naturally go away?"
"I guess…I-…I honestly don't know. Sometimes it hurts when they sprout out but other times like today, I didn't even notice that they came out."
Levi nodded and turned his attention back to the painting. "Are you done for the night?"
"Yeah…"
He heard a but being added to the end of that sentence but it didn't come. "Take a shower and then once you're done, I'll show you how to work your new phone."
"Sounds great."
Levi watched as he hopped down from the stool and exited the room, turning into his bedroom and closing the door behind him. Finally alone, he looked at the painting again, noticing that none of these strokes were gentle, at least not the ones where the paint still looked fresh. He wondered if he should call Hanji and ask if they could get someone for Eren for him just to talk to. Personally, it never worked for him, talking to a professional and expressing his feeling but it could benefit Eren. If they could get some of the things that haunted him off of his chest and shoulders, maybe it could help him adjust more to normal life.
Of course, it could only be someone they trust and not a random therapist off the street. He would say something to Hanji when he sees her tomorrow. Erwin already texted him saying that if he didn't finish all of his assignments then he needed to do it at his office and attend a meeting. He didn't want to leave Eren all by himself but it was what compelled him to get him a phone in case something did happen while he was gone.
Making himself busy, he closed all of the opened paints and tried to organize them as best as he could. He also grabbed all of the brushes that Eren used and went into the kitchen sink to wash them and let them air dry. Hopefully, he would want to paint in the next couple of days while he was off of on whatever business meeting Erwin needed Levi to be in.
Eren came out of his room not long after he plopped himself on the couch and turned on the television to the news. He honestly hated the news but he was behind on whatever else was happening outside of his apartment and needed a quick catching up. The brunette sat down next to him, his hair still wet from the shower and Levi was pleased to see that all of the paint had been washed out of the dark locks.
"Okay, I'm ready to learn," he announced as he sat up and turned toward Levi who had the phone in his hand.
Eager.
Levi spent the majority of the night explaining the basic features of the phone and saying that he wouldn't have any internet browsers. After he handed the phone over to an eager Eren, he played with the device for the rest of the night. He looked over after watching a few reruns of Doctor Who and saw that Eren had fallen asleep with the phone against his chest. Levi was about to get up and carry the sleeping brunette into his own bed but decided to close his eyes for a few seconds, feeling the pull of his lids and lure of sleep.
Somehow in the middle of the night, he woke up to find Eren pressed against his side and almost curled into his chest. He was going to push him away, keep the distance that he'd been trying to keep between the two of them but the warmth that spread across his body pulled him back to sleep. The presence next to him making feel safe enough to pass out on his couch and out in the open in his apartment.
What is this kid doing to me?