Hikaru and Kaoru

Hikaru: The Night Before The Gala

"That's easy" She had said. "The one being a dick is Hikaru."

The memory of those words were burned into my mind. "Hell, Hikaru. If you can't be nice then you just better not come back. Ever."

I slammed the glass down onto the counter, watching as the dark liquid swished dangerously close to the rim. I just couldn't get those words out of my head. Any of her words. "You just better go"

"Rough day?" The guy behind the counter asked me. I ignored him. Apparently, he got the hint because he left me alone.

I would rather be alone right now.

It wasn't really a bar like commoners go to. This place was supposed to be a lounge, or something like that. I don't really care. I was never all that social to begin with. Kaoru and I only ever went places with her.

Damn her, I can't believe she would just... Ghaaa, I can't even think about it. It makes me sick. She... she's so stupid.

"I knew I would find you here again." There was no need to look up. He was my twin after all. I would know him even if he hadn't said anything. If the world were to fall apart I would know his presence... and lately it felt like the world was falling apart.

"What do you want?" I snapped. My irritation was directed towards him, even though he wasn't the cause of it all. It didn't matter. He understood.

"Hikaru." He said my name as he placed his hand on my shoulder. Kaoru took a seat beside me. He put his head in his hand and gave me a considering look. It made me want to smack him. But I would never do that.

So instead, I frowned and drained the contents of my glass in one gulp. Kao wrinkled his nose. "What the hell are you drinking?"

"You didn't answer my question." I retorted. Why should I talk to him? He's on her side. He is always on her side.

"Where were you last night?" He asked. "You didn't get in till late and when I tried to find you this morning you were gone. I'm worried about you. You've been here every night since the meeting."

I scoffed at him.

"She really got to you, huh?" He asked.

"I don't wanna talk about her."

"Eventually we are gonna have to. She's our best friend." Kaoru put his hand on my wrist.

"No. She's your best friend." I frowned and waved at the barkeep to bring me another glass.

"Since when do you drink bourbon?" He said when he saw the bartender pour the glass.

"Since this guy said it would help." I gestured at the guy. He in turn shrugged at my brother as a way to say, 'oops my bad'. Then placed another full glass down in front of me.

"Anything for you?" He asked Kaoru, who thought for a moment.

"Sure."

"What will it be?"

"Um... just give me what he has, I guess." Kaoru wrinkled his nose again. I rolled my eyes, I knew he didn't really like to drink very much. He hated the taste of beer and hard liquor. Mixed drinks was more his style. Both his and Haruhi's.

I glared at my glass like it was the reason she kept popping into my mind.

When Kao got his glass drink he tentatively took a sip and winced. "God, Hika. That tastes awful."

"Drink it long enough..." I took a swig. " And you won't even notice."

The drink burns, I admit. Most drinks burn.

I want to burn her out of my mind but all this is doing is making me want to see her. I can't do that. She doesn't want me, she doesn't even want Kaoru.

He told me that since he found out what she was doing, she hasn't slept with him at all. I forget why. I didn't really care about that. What I found annoying was that she tried to tell me. She tried to push me away and I didn't let her.

I thought these flings with lovers would only last so long. I thought I can bring her back. I've done it before, when she was with Kaoru. I seduced her to be mine. Then he seduced her back from me. We loved her. She was our center and even when our world came crashing down, she somehow fixed it.

Even after nearly destroying our friendship, relationships and pretty much everything that made us who we are, Haruhi was always able to remind us that we needed each other. So we continued, stealing her from the other. Pretending to fight, pretending to be incestuous, and turning around to jump back into bed with her.

A sick game, I know, but it was our game. Kaoru's, Haruhi's and mine. Just the three of us. It was supposed to stay just the three of us.

That was our plan. We would play our game until she was tired of switching around. Then she would choose and marry one of us. Haruhi was going to be a Hitachiin and it didn't matter's who's wife she was as long as she was ours. Forever.

Then she somewhere along the way, she changed. She wanted more.

Haru was more selfish than Kaoru and I ever gave her credit for. And she thought I was spoiled.

Well, maybe I am. I know I'm selfish. My twin tells me all the time that I need to open up and stop living for just our trio.

He talked me into let her in when we were in high school, too.

I did, I let her in against my own stubborn nature. She ended up surprising me. I was amazed that she understood us for who we were. Not just, the twins. Not just Hikaru and Kaoru, like it was a title but rather Hikaru... and Kaoru, the individuals. I wanted that for so long and she did it. She broke us.

We became hers from that moment on. Just as she became ours. Our little Tanuki, who we could dress up and show off. Who loved us as much as we loved her. The envy of ever gold digger and pretentious bitch we have ever encountered.

"Hikaru." Kaoru's voice pulled me out of my reverie. "Tomorrow, she has a gala to attend."

I growled in my throat. Haruhi, why is it always about Haruhi?

"Then go with her. She likes you better apparently."

"That's not what I meant, I just wanted to tell you that she is not just doing …. what you think she is always doing." He was begging me with his voice again.

"Do YOU think I care." I shouted. My blood was rushing to my face.

He got quiet. I sighed. For a while he just sat there and drank the the bourbon slowly. Making faces all the time.

"I know you care." He voiced after a while. "The problem is you care too much."

He's right. I do care. I love her. Maybe that's where we went wrong. I probably shouldn't have fallen in love with her. She was Kaoru's first. I never should have taken her. Then maybe they would be married by now, with kids probably.

That stung to think about. Haruhi and kids. She should have had kids...

I took another drink at that thought. I need to burn that image out.

I love my brother too and I hate myself for taking his girlfriend away from him. I hate myself for letting her become my girlfriend. But I also hate the thought of never having her in the first place.

I felt the tears at the corner of my eye and I looked at Kaoru. He understood what I wanted to say. That was the bond we shared. We would always know what the other thinks. But there are some things I don't always know.

"How can you stand it?" I mumbled.

He pushed the glass away and said to the bartender that he wanted something else. I felt my lips turn up a little into some sense of a smile. Once he was granted that sissy little mixed drink of his, he sighed contentedly after taking a sip and said. "That's better."

I waited till he answered my question. In a million years I will never have Kaoru's patients but I try. Even if it doesn't look like I am trying.

"Haruhi is Haruhi. She's important to me, just like you are. I stand it because if I want to keep her in my life I just need to deal with it. She made her choice and I saw her try to stop. It was killing her to be 'normal'. I love her too much to make her change."

"Then you love her more than I do." I dropped my head. "I want it to just be the three of us again."

He put his hand on my shoulder again and rubbed it in a attempt to comfort me. I don't need comforting, I don't deserve it. This whole situation is my fault. If I hadn't gotten in the way, she would be normal. Why did I have to take her?

"Stop it Hika." Kaoru said to me when I bit my lip. He knows what I am thinking. I am sure of it.

I stiffened up a bit and attempted to regain my composure. "I'm sorry Kaoru."

"What for?"

"I gonna back off now..." I stood up and waved to the bartender. "Hey, you. I'm gonna leave my card, put my brothers drinks on the tab too. Give it to him when he leaves."

The guy nodded and continued to work. Kaoru's hand shot out to me as I began to step away from counter.

"What do you mean back off?" His eyes were trimmed with tears. I blinked and shook my head. I can't stand to see him in tears. I have to leave.

"If anyone can get Haru back it's you." I paused a moment. "She belongs to you and I ruined everything by getting in your way. Besides..." I slipped out of his grasp and stepped back from him. "I've been such a 'dick' to her. She will never forgive me now. So why bother going back."

"No Hika, you can't quit." Kaoru stood up and trailed me a few steps. "Come with me to Haru's place. She will forgive you. I know it."

If we were any louder I am sure we would have drawn a crowed. Luckily two things were in our favor. The place was almost empty and those that were here, were too hammered to care. So much for high class society. Even these people drink themselves into the ground. And when I get home, I am gonna do the same.

"I'm done Kaoru. If she want's to whore herself out then it's fine. She can live her life. I won't stand in the way. I won't change her. I sure as hell won't change the way I feel about it." I bit my lip. "Even if I do love her."

I turned my back on my twin but before I left completely I said. "Take care of her, ok?"

Kaoru didn't call me back. That's fine. I am gonna go home and maybe I will see him there when he gets back.

I hailed a cab, climbed in, and gave the driver directions to my place.

The worst part of all of this was that I told her I would never leave her . When Kaoru and her had their little tiff a while back. I told her I would be back in a day or two but that nothing she could do would make me hate her.

I broke that promise. I don't deserve her forgiveness.

Honestly, I was tempted to take Kaoru's offer. I won't admit it out loud. I don't even want to admit it to myself. Despite the fact she's changed into some stupid girl, I do love her. Even if she chose to become a whore over our friendship I can't help but want to see her.

God damn it. I thought while leaning my head against the glass of the window. I miss her.

Kaoru : Just before the accident

Hika is such a dumb ass. He has no idea how much Haru misses him. I don't know how he can stand being away from her. I couldn't do that. It was hard enough when I got freaked out and tried to avoid her so I could think about the shock she gave me. It's impossible to stay mad at her.

She's at the gala right now, doing what she does best. Being the most charming girl in the world. I don't know how she does it. The world adores her. Men, women... no matter who it is, they are all drawn to her.

It's probably why I fell in love with her.

When I finally accepted her choice, things just seemed to work out. We were enjoying our time together even though I had kept my distance when it game to bedroom activities. I just wanted her to want me again.

Not because I look like Hika, and not because I was part of the Ouran circle. I never want her to think of me as a paying customer. It would kill me if she though I only wanted sex from her. She was my Haru. My little tanuki. Even if I lost my chance to keep her to myself, I will never stop wanting her.

If that means I have to share her then so be it. It doesn't mean I have to like it. In fact, it kind of pisses me off to think about her being used.

I have go no problems with Neckozawa or Haninozuka. Hell, I don't even have a problem with the Suoh guy. My deal is with Ootori. He admitted to me that she is the most compliant girl he has ever had. He never shared any details but the idea of him using her to get to us... it fucking made me want to punch him.

I only know this because Haruhi told me while I was helping her get dressed up. I know she saw the anger building up, because she made me swear never to tell Hikaru. To be honest, I agree with her. Hikaru would kill him. He already wants to kill Ootori for even allowing her into the group.

I promised her I wouldn't say anything. I promised her I would support her if she decided to remain in the circle or if she decided to leave.

Hikaru wasn't at home when I got back to the mansion. I looked for him but her was no where to be found. No one knew where he was, not even mom. He took his cell phone, so I tried to call him.

I got the voice mail, "Hika, It's Kao. Where are ya? Ah, well... never mind. Just let me know your okay and not drinking yourself in to a hole. I love you, kay?"

I hung up the phone and found myself wandering. I got frustratingly bored and decided to do some work. It would be fun to make more dresses for Haruhi.

But after a half hour of this I got really sad. I looked down at my sketch book and bit my lip. Without even noticing I drew... a wedding dress. Horrified, I pushed the book away from me and stood up and away from my desk in record speed.

My heart was beating quickly. Why the hell did I do that? I stopped drawing wedding dresses when I lost her to Hikaru. Selfish I know, but it was my silent rebellion. No one knew about it, not Haru and definitely not Hika. I didn't want to ruin their happiness, even if I was hurting inside. I love them both so much it hurts.

I tossed the pencil that was still in my hand at the desk. Frustrated at myself for not putting my own wants and needs up front. What do I do? What else could I do?

Last time I gave into my needs when she was Hikaru's. I was having a wonderful time with her here at the mansion. We were playing a game of cards. I know, such an innocent thing right. Well, some how we got into a discussion about romance and what causes desire.

At one point we both reached out for a card and our hands touched. It was a selfish moment for sure but I once our finger tips touched, I looked her in the eye and took her hand into mine. Leaving my chair I came up beside her and kneeled in front. She sensed what I was about to do and her eyes grew soft and loving. She had smiled at me and it took my breath away. I quickly kissed her, pulling her into my arms.

That was when Hika started the game. That was when I turned into the other demon again. I didn't give a damn anymore on who she wanted. I only cared that she remained with us, even if I shared her with Hika.

I think the thing that scared me the most was when we had that pregnancy scare during our senior year. Both Hika and I had been with her within a few days of each other. If there was a kid, we would never know who fathered it. Identical genes make things like that hard to determine.

She said it never happened, that she was mistaken. We were so scared, angry and our fighting was at it worst. When she came out at told us she had been wrong, I swear I saw something in her eyes that didn't feel like she was speaking the truth.

I never called her on it. I didn't want to know if she was lying. Haru was a terrible liar and if she was then there were only two options that would have been true. I never wanted to believe she would have suffered through either of them. So as selfish as I was, I chose to believe her words. I believe them still.

That was when my brother and I began to plan things out. It was also when Haru went on a strict contraception kick. She made her monthly visits to get her shot, or the pill. Stocked up on non-hormonal methods and always made sure we never went through that again.

Now, as I wander around the house to find something to do, I wished I had fought harder. Either against Hikaru or against my own urges. Haru deserves a chance at happiness and like she said many times... we ruined marriage for her.

It was getting late and I started to fall asleep on my bed. I had nothing better to do. I was bored. Haru was busy, and Hika was no where to be found.

While I was drifting I heard my phone ring. The tone was unrecognizable. I frowned, groaned and sat up. I picked up the phone and answered.

"Kaoru here." I yawned.

"Kaoru! This is Tamaki. I am so sorry. I am really really really sorry."

I sighed. "Chill boss." I started calling him that when I joined the circle. It couldn't be helped he acted like the top dog of the whole deal. "Slow down. What are you going on about?"

"It's Haruhi. She's... she's"

My heart stopped. Did something happen to her? "Tamaki, tell me!" I snapped. "What happened to Haru?"

"She's in the hospital. She fell down the stairs."

I dropped the phone.

Hikaru: A few minutes later.

I heard my phone ring earlier and I listened to the message. Kaoru sounded bored. I know he's worried about me being drunk again but at this moment, I wasn't. In fact I was a little busy.

Some how the only thing I could think of was Haruhi and how much I wanted to see her. Then the thought of her face came to me, then another thought followed. Her face was not the only one like that.

Megumi Kanoya the model. I didn't lie to Haru, this girl was just a face. But right now I needed that face. I needed to loose myself in her.

We spent several hours in bed together. All day in fact. Then my phone rang again. Kaoru's ring tone. So once again I ignored it. Once the phone was done ringing I reached over, picked it up and turned it off.

I didn't want to be bothered.

Kaoru – at the hospital

She was in bad shape. My Haru...

My eyes were tear filled when I burst into the hospital. "Haruhi Fujioka!" I yelled at the woman behind the reception counter.

My blood was burning in me because she took her sweet ass time, "Calm down sir" she said to me.

"Don't fucking tell me to calm down. Ootori had her brought here. I need to see her. NOW!"

At Kyoya's name she flinched and said the room number. I ran.

I had to get to Haruhi. No other thought was in my head. My fucking idiot brother isn't answering his phone so I had been gripping my cell in my hand. My fingers were going numb in the process.

I finally got up to the room, I didn't even register the presence of anyone other than my girl in the bed. She was covered in bandages and... bruises. Oh god. She looked horrible.

I ran to her side. "Haruhi!? No. Oh god."

She twitched a little and her eyes opened slightly. She was alive. I breathed out a sigh of relief but my eyes were tearing up. I knew I was crying.

"Mr. Hitachiin." I finally noticed the doctor in the room. Reluctantly, I took my eyes off of her and looked at the man in the white coat. "She is sedated. She won't wake fully for a while."

"But... but she's gonna make it. Please tell me she is gonna make it." I wanted to touch her but I couldn't see a place on her body that didn't look beat up.

"It was a close call and it could have been worse. Mr. Ootori tells me you are her next of kin but he didn't tell me your relationship with this girl. I would normally ask you to fill out her charts but it seems it has been taken care of already."

My insides were shaking when I looked back down on my Haruhi. Her eyes were closed now and bruises were starting to show up. She bruises easily. Her skin was so delicate and I can only imagine how bad these bruises were going to look when they came into full bloom.

"What..." I choked out. "What are her in.. inj..."

"Her injuries?" The doctor finished for me. He pulled out the chart and flipped the pages. " She broke three ribs, two on her right one on her left. Her right shoulder took heavy damage. The right arm is fractured and was dislocated. Her left femur had dislocate for her hip, but we were able to fix the dislocations easily enough. Her right ankle was sprained. She has a hairline fracture in her left tibia. And sever bruising all over. These injuries will be cast and should heal within a month. As is usual for a broken bone. In this case she has several, but they should heal along the same timeline."

With each injury I felt my heart drop. Though I noticed he said nothing about her head or neck. I only noticed that because it was what I was listening for.

I gulped. "Her head?" I said when I brushed my hand across her forehead. Gently since I didn't want to cause her more pain.

"Ah yes. She had a minor concussion but luckily she was able to take the majority of the damage to her right side. It's a miracle she didn't break her neck." He tilted his head, probably trying to read into my relationship with her. He shook it off and said, "Ms. Fujioka will pull through. It looks worse than it actually is. There were no internal injuries so longterm observation will not be necessary. We will keep her here for a week at least, to allow her injuries to set and give the family enough time to adjust temporary living arrangements. Unless Mr. Ootori wishes for us to keep her longer."

My tears were falling down steadily. But now I was able to take her left hand into mine since I knew it wasn't broken. I kissed her forehead then under her eye on her cheek.

Just a few hours ago, she was well. Just a few hours ago we had made love for the first time in ages. And now, she almost died on me. Whispered to her, "Haru, please open your eyes."

I don't know why I expected her to hear me or for her to even react. She was asleep. I kissed her again and stepped away to make another call to Hikaru.

Hikaru – about 3 in the morning.

I looked over to my left side and saw the girl beside me. Megumi was sleeping with her arms tucked under her chin. She slept like an angel and suddenly I felt sick.

I pulled away from her and slipped out of the bed. That does it. I can't take this anymore. I can't block her out.

So she is sleeping with other guys. I just slept Megumi. What kind of fucking hypocrite am I?

I promised her I wouldn't leave her. I promised I would love her no matter what. I am a fucked up friend. I gave up to early. I can only hope some how, some way, she would forgive me.

I found my jeans and pulled them on. Then I picked up my cell phone. I shouldn't have turned it off. Kaoru is probably freaking out.

So I wasn't surprised when I saw that there were five voice mails and tons of missed calls on my log. I frowned.

Kaoru was really worried. I checked my voice mail. The first message; "Hika answer your phone, it's Haruhi something bad has happened. Call me"

My heart dropped. I grabbed my shirt and pulled it on over my head and listened to the second message. "Where the fuck are you. I said Haruhi is hurt. Get off your high horse and get over yourself."

Third message: "Shit, you need to turn you fucking phone on. I know you have it off. When you get this message... ghaaa. I don't want to talk to you right now. I'm heading to the hospital."

The fourth message was a kicker for me. Kaoru was crying: "She's alive you selfish bastard. Just thought you should know. I'm at the Ootori's main hospital. You know the one. We took mom there for her appendix surgery."

When I got to my car the last voice mail started. It was sent about two hours ago. ""God damn it Hikaru, Pick up the fucking phone. This is the last message I am leaving. If you don't get down here now... Achhh.. You know what. Never mind. Don't come. We don't need you here. When I get home tonight don't even bother talking to me. This is the last time I am gonna allow you to hurt her. I figured you would at least get over yourself enough to see if she lived or not."

The message ended and I stood there next to the car. I was stunned. I was numb. There was no way I would have known that things were this bad. God damn it, why did I turn off my phone.

Haruhi will never forgive me now. I screwed up so bad... I... I … I don't deserve her forgiveness.

But... I gotta see her for myself.

Kaoru- 4 am

I walked around the manor but Hika wasn't there. I have no idea where he is and at the moment I don't care. I left the hospital a little bit ago. I didn't want to but Tamaki had a point. I needed to sleep if I was going to spend the next day with her.

I had to get all my affairs in order. I needed to leave instructions for the secretaries at the office. I should talk with mom and let her know what happened. I had to make sure to leave orders for the maids to clean up Haru's room and make sure it was accessible when she got out of the hospital. That meant moving things around.

There was no guarantee that she would stay here, but I wanted to be prepared in case she wanted to. I also needed to hire some people to go to her house and make it safe.

I was tired and I needed to get some sleep. I would go back to the hospital in the morning and spend as much time with her as I can.

Hikaru- 4am

Kaoru wasn't there. I knew that because a nurse spotted me come in and said. "Oh Mr. Hitachiin. You are back. I take it you changed your mind about staying. I was about to check on Ms. Fujioka right now. I will join you."

She was too chipper to be allowed in a hospital. I knew she thought I was Kaoru. Since Kao would be the type to handle this kind of chatter. But I shut up and took it. I had no right to complain and if need be, I could pretend to be him for a little while. I didn't need to be held up with questions.

When I entered the room I stopped in my tracks. I felt my blood freeze.

Haruhi looked terrible. The nurse checked Haru's vitals and jotted down notes on her chart then she placed the chart on the table nearby. I waited till she left the room, smiling at me, and I snatched up the chart as quickly as I could.

There was a list of her injuries. The blood that was frozen began to drain from me. I looked at my girl.

"Oh Haruhi." I said and bent down to her left side. I took her hand and kissed her cheek. She moved and opened an eye.

"Haruhi... I..." She closed her eyes and fell back asleep. I bit my lip and laid my head on the bed next to her. "I am so sorry."

She didn't move at all after that. Neither did I.

Haruhi, my beautiful Haruhi was bruised all over. That skin was so delicate so smooth the last time I saw her. She may have been angry, she may have been two seconds away from punching my lights out but she was healthy. She was spectacular and she was conscious.

Right now, looking at her. The only thing I can think of was how stupid I was for leaving her. I was such a fucking idiot.

I began to cry right there. Holding her hand and whispering to her how sorry I was. Eventually though I knew I needed to leave.

Kaoru won't want me here. Not now. Not after all that's happened. I would spend a few more hours with her then I would go home.

Kaoru – the next morning.

He came home just as I was leaving. I glared at him but he didn't look me in the eyes.

"I..." He tried to say.

"Don't even bother." I said walking past him and out the door. Hikaru and I didn't talk that morning.

A few days passed. I visited her every day and came home each night. Hika and I passed each other but we didn't talk. This time I was pissed.

I was angry with him. He didn't have to ignore my calls. He didn't have to ignore Haruhi. If he was any kind of friend to her, if he was any kind of lover to her, he would be there. He would be sitting at her side everyday, holding her hand. He would be there talking to her even when she's unconscious.

Haruhi's bruises were darker now, but the smaller ones were starting to fade. The doctors put her right arm in a cast and bandaged her up really good. She looked like crap but it was better than the day they brought her in.

Tamaki came everyday with roses for her bedside. He said that fresh roses ever day made things better and that when she woke up it would be best if the flowers were at their best when she saw them.

Haninozuka and Morinozuka came in as often as they could. Honey would take my spot for a while so he could hold her hand. He talked with her and brushed the hair from her face gently. He was wonderfully tender with her and it made me smile. I was glad she had a friend like him.

Umihito came in with the girl from the circle. Reiko, I think she was called. They prayed and cast spells around the room and at one point Reiko placed her hands on Haru and sang a song that was so beautiful I almost started crying again. Umihito told me it was a healing curse. It would speed up the healing process and make her bones stronger so that she would be more resistant to breaks in the future.

How much of that is true, I don't know. The doctors said that she would heal in three weeks and that was enough for me. However if these... "curses" helped, I wouldn't say no. Ironically the doctors had confirmed that she was healing rather quickly, but they stand by three weeks. Two and a half, if she continued at this rate.

Kyoya visited too, though without the overly affectionate behavior that the others brought. He told me about the investigations into how she fell in the first place. There were security camera's around the mansion at the time of the Gala. Safety precautions he said.

As it turned out, Ayanokouji was the cause of it all. She pushed her down. The moment I heard this I would have killed that woman. Normally I wouldn't be so violent but this was Haruhi. Anyone who lays a hand on her would be the subject of a good beat down.

I wasn't given a chance to deal with it unfortunately. Kyoya had already her sent to trial for attempted murder. She was convicted within an hour or so.

That was all I needed to hear.

Right now I was sitting beside her, alone. She was breathing evenly and I was rambling on and on about how much I loved her. About how much I couldn't wait for her to wake up so I could kiss her and hold her again.

Then I heard her voice. "Ka...Kaoru."

I jumped up and leaned over the side of her bed. I almost fell to my knees when I took her hand into mine.

"Haruhi!" I breathed her name, in shock and yet so happy that she was speaking.

"You've been here... all the time?" She whispered. Her voice was hoarse from un-utilization. Still, she smiled at me. The most beautiful smile I have ever seen.

"As much as I could be. Oh, Haruhi." I cried. "You're back."