This is it everyone…

CHAPTER 24

Damon struggled a little as Stefan pulled him but Stefan knew it was out of confusion rather than desire to stay there. He got them to the car and opened the door for Damon to climb in. Damon got in without as much as a word and Stefan took a minute, hovering with his head against his folded arms to breathe in relief. They had lost their only weapon against the originals, but Damon was safe. Damon was safe. Rebekah had made it pretty clear to anyone that was listening that she was done with him. Stefan wouldn't have to worry about waiting for her to turn up and terrorize them in the night. Damon could really start his recovery now.

Stefan got in the drivers' seat and looked over at him. He had his head against the window and was staring out into space.

"It's over brother. Everything's going to be ok." Stefan said gently as he started the engine and pulled away as fast as he could lest Klaus change his mind about their exchange.

"You're a fool Stefan." Damon mumbled and Stefan looked over at him questioningly. "You've just blown your only chance at saving Elena."

"We'll find another way." Stefan said resolutely as he turned his attention back to the road.

"Saint Stefan, the knight in shining armour – except you have no armour now do you? And all for what?" Damon's tone was becoming angry and Stefan bit his lip trying to quell his own temper.

"For you brother." Stefan said and Damon laughed stoically. Stefan sighed.

"What a prize. You should have just let me die instead of embarrassing yourself and putting everyone we care about at risk." Damon grunted, beginning to trace circular patterns on the condensation of the window.

"Just, shut up Damon! After everything that's happened today will you just give me five minutes to appreciate that we are both still alive?" Stefan gripped the steering wheel. Why did his brother have to make everything so difficult? Damon smirked but stayed silent and Stefan took deep breaths to calm himself.

"Everyone we care about?" Stefan repeated and Damon grimaced in realisation of his slip of the tongue. "Glad to see you're back with me brother." Stefan said earnestly.

"I wouldn't hang out the decorations just yet." Damon mumbled more to himself than Stefan but it made Stefan's stomach unsettled none the less. They drove the rest of way home in silence, with Stefan glancing over occasionally at him. Stefan was aching to put his hand on Damons' arm or shoulder to let him know he wasn't alone, but he felt like this wouldn't be welcomed right now. Damon was out of the car and in the boarding house in a blur before Stefan had even pulled the key out of the ignition. He sat back in his chair and sighed. He had thought that they had made significant headway before all of this had happened but now he knew that this was where the hardest phase of Damon's healing would begin and he had no idea what to expect.

His cell phone buzzed insistently in his pocket and he pulled it out automatically.

"Elena. This isn't the best time right now."

"Please Stefan, you haven't answered any of my calls. I feel like I am going crazy here." She sounded high strung and he realised that he had half intended to evoke this response from her as a means of punishment. He shook his head, realising what a low motivator his radio silence had been. As much as he hated to admit it, Elena loved Damon too and it wasn't going to help any of them in the long run if he kept punishing her for it. He sighed.

"How is he?" She asked sheepishly.

"I don't honestly know. I thought maybe he was getting better but, he's just angry and upset right now." He couldn't muster the energy to keep any of these worries from her. He felt exhausted.

"Can I come over?" She asked with bated breath and he ran his hand through his hair and looked towards the front door. He could faintly hear smashing sounds and he sighed again.

"I don't know if that's a good idea. He seems a little unstable." He winced as he heard the unmistakeable sound of porcelain breaking and he hoped to god it was his favourite vase.

"Let me talk to him, please Stefan." She begged and he could feel himself give in. Maybe she could get through to him, she was normally the only person who could when he was on a bender and truth was, he was tired of trying to deal with this alone.

"Ok." He said and she hung up. He dragged himself from the car to review the mess inside.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxx

It felt good to break things, it helped curb his desire to tear into someone's flesh as he hauled another expensive looking vase at the wall. He stopped for a moment, catching his breath and shaking. His whole body burned with adrenaline and he laughed as he noted how badly his hands were shaking. He needed a drink. He walked over to the bourbon table and poured himself a glass, basking in the glow of its aroma as he inhaled deeply. It reminded him of Rick. He could feel the familiar grief curl in his stomach and he gulped the glass down, trying to smother it with the fiery liquid. Rick had been a good friend and he was sure that towards the end Rick had forgiven him for killing him those few times. Not that Damon had made it easy for him. He had given Rick every reason under the sun to hate him, despise him and yet he had given him friendship, brotherhood.

Stefan closed the door with a sigh of vexation and Damon looked up at him as he looked around viewing the mess. Stefan frowned and shook his head.

"You know I live here too right?" Stefan was angry with him. Nothing new there then. "This isn't the way to fix things Damon. Talk to me."

"What do you want me to say?" Damon grumbled, filling his glass again. He didn't want to give in to the possibility that he would return to his state of relying on Stefan to care for him. Bourbon would stop it. If he drank enough he could forget.

"How about, thank you for saving my ass?" Stefan growled and Damon looked up surprised and slightly impressed. "I'm sick of you feeling sorry for yourself. I don't know exactly what happened with her but I know you are in pain. Let me help you brother. Stop this." Stefan gestured towards the carnage Damon had left in his wake and Damon looked around the room as though seeing the damage for the first time. Damon didn't know what to say as Stefan glared at him. He bit his lip in an effort to keep his thoughts from tumbling out. A few minutes passed where they were in a stalemate before Damon couldn't stop his mouth.

"You can't fix me Stefan. I am never going to be what you want me to be, so just stop trying."

"What I want you to be is who you are, without fear or pain or trauma. Do you remember what you've been going through the past few days? I have never seen you like that before and it scares me Damon. I don't want you to live this like, with this fear in you." Stefan walked towards him as Damon eyed him like a cat watching a spider.

"I'm fine." Damon grunted and drank more bourbon to distract himself from the look of sympathy and love that Stefan was gracing him with. He didn't deserve it after everything he had done and it made him feel like he wanted to smash more furniture.

"You are not fine. I want my arrogant, confident, dick of a brother back to pushing my buttons and driving me insane." Stefan was unbearably close to him now and he could feel himself start to recoil as the door opened and Elena walked through nervously. Great! Now he was surrounded!

"Hi." She said unsure of how to break the apparent tension in the room. "How are you doing?" She looked to Damon, noticing the beginnings of drunkenness that she knew would escalate to him becoming infuriating.

"Peachy." He said sarcastically and Stefan sighed beside him, looking at her deflated. Her eyes widened as she took in the state of the room and surmised that Damon had had a meltdown. She flicked her eyes back to him and he looked at her bemused. He was going to play this the hard way.

"I need to talk to you." She asserted and Stefan begrudgingly left the room to get some blood, with all of the commotion he hadn't eaten all day. Damon looked very uncomfortable the nearer she drew towards him so she gave him enough space so as not to crowd him and took a seat across from him. He looked down at the floor anxiously, waiting for her to speak.

"You remember it all don't you?" She began and he simply nodded, pretending to inspect the rim of his glass.

"I don't know what happened in there. Damon I…"

"Don't Elena." He mumbled but she could detect the threatening tone behind it.

"We have to talk about this Damon." She implored and he looked over at her angrily.

"What's the point? It happened. You wanted me, then tried to kill me, then you left – end of story. Now can you just roll the credits and let us all move on?" He grunted.

"How can you say that, Damon look at this place?!" Her voice picked up as she gestured around the room, to the broken pieces of his life scattered everywhere and he slammed his glass down on the table, making her feel jumpy as he refilled it again. His hands were shaking profusely and she stood up wanting to go to him to hold him. She moved towards him and he stepped back from her. She couldn't tell from his expression whether it was out of fear, anger or repulsion but it was severe enough that she stopped dead in her tracks.

"I can't move on. I can't forget what I did to you - the way I hurt you." Tears welled in her eyes and she detected a chink in his armour as she let them fall careless down her cheeks.

"It wasn't your fault." His voice was a little softer.

"She compelled me, but I did it Damon. I couldn't control my feelings and I let it get out of control."

"That was abundantly clear." He was angry again and snippy.

"I was angry, so angry and confused and she used it. We've never really talked about the things you've done before and she used it against us."

"She just added a little fuel in there Elena. Stop beating yourself up about it. I'm fine. Your conscience is clear ok?" He turned his back to her and she couldn't hold in the sob that escaped her.

"Is that why you think I'm here? Because I feel guilty?" He didn't answer her and she decided he wasn't going to stop her from touching him anymore. She stepped up behind him and slid her arms around his middle, leaning close as he stood bolt upright, unprepared for her assault.

"I love you Damon. I want you to know that I forgive you for everything that happened. I can't stand the thought of you believing that I want to hurt you with this ever again." He was so tense in her embrace that she felt as though she were hugging a statue. She leaned her face against his back and placed a kiss there. He was still naked and she pulled back, realising it for the first time since she arrived. She slid her hands away from him as she detected a tremor rolling through his body. Her heart pulsed in pain for him as she realised how long it was going to be before touch would be something that wouldn't make him afraid of what was coming next.

"I need you to stay on the wagon Damon." She stepped back to see if he would stop trembling and he slowly turned to face her. He looked torn and emotional.

"I can't promise that." He whispered.

"You have to. I need you. You are strong enough to get through this."

"What if I'm not?" He snapped annoyed. "You've got the wrong brother if you think I'm going to sit down and talk about my feelings and weep in your arms like a school girl Elena!"

"Don't push us away Damon! You always do this and this time we are not going to let you." She shouted back at him, matching his outburst. He grumbled and moved away from her to stand by the fireplace.

"You're wrong you know." She said and he gave out a mirthless chuckle. "You're so much stronger than you know." He shook his head and laughed again as he leaned down and began starting a fire.

"When you thought I wanted you to touch me and I begged you to stop, you did even though you didn't understand." He hung his head and she knew he was listening.

"When I forced you to drink from me to heal you, you stopped before you took too much even though you were dying."

"Stop." He whispered, still turned away from her. She took a step closer to him.

"When you thought she would hurt me, you fought back with everything you had even though you knew it was useless." His body was still as he listened. "She had to tear your throat out before you would stop trying to protect me." Her own voice was wavering now as she recalled it all and she could feel herself begin to shake as she knelt down beside him. He was watching the smallest of flames begin to kindle and he almost looked entranced.

"You let me hurt you, because you thought I needed to. You never fought back and I know you could have." Her voice was a shaky embarrassing mess now. She hadn't been able to speak out these words to anyone and it was so much more painful to verbalise the horrors of her memories than she had realised it would be. He turned to look at her distress and his eyes were soft and full of emotion.

"Stop." He implored and she lifted her hands to cup his face. He immediately flinched at her movement and she dropped her hands as he looked at her warily. She lifted his hands instead and placed his hands on her own face. She held them there lovingly as he gazed at her in wonder.

"You can do this Damon." She encouraged and he blinked away a tear. "Stefan needs you more than you could possibly know." Damon searched her eyes for a moment as though he was trying to detect lust or derision. He leaned forward slowly and she closed her eyes, hoping to make him feel more at ease as he placed a small kiss onto her lips. She cherished it for the small moment it lasted because she knew that it would be the last kiss from him for a while. He needed to heal and physical touch was going to be the hardest of all of his hurdles to conquer.

"I'll try." He whispered against her mouth and nuzzled her cheek tenderly. She sighed contented in his progress for today as he pulled back again and dropped his hands from her face. Stefan cleared his throat nervously and they both looked up from the floor. He had blood bags in his hands and looked towards Damon unsure. Stefan held out his hand offering him the blood bag and Damon stared at it. Both she and Stefan exchanged unsure glances as they watched Damon considering his next move. Painfully slowly he extended his hand and took the bag from Stefan. He twisted off the cap and put it to his lips as though he were doing this for the first time. Elena held her breath and then he began to drink. Stefan smiled and tried not to look too excited as Elena stood up. Damon watched them both with a frown and they realised they were staring at him in awe. She moved over to Stefan and he gave her a knowing nod. He had heard their conversation and although she hadn't went into as much detail as she wanted to due to her compulsion Stefan now had a better idea of what had happened between them.

"How about we get washed and get some clothes on?" She suggested to Stefan with raised eyebrows.

"Am I too distracting for you Elena?" Damon surprised them both as he stood up, tossing the empty bag onto the tabletop. He was smirking and she felt relieved that the heavier part of their conversation was over and he had returned to his playful self.

"Bubble bath?" He smirked again and added a little less confidently, "there's room for two." He winked trying to show them that he was going to try to be his normal charismatic self. Elena rolled her eyes at him and turned to Stefan faking annoyance and Damon chuckled, moving past them towards the stairs.

"Save the good side for me!" Stefan called up to him and Damon looked around mortified. Elena and Stefan both laughed and Damon shook his head, ascending the stairs with a scowl.

THE END

Thank you to everyone who followed and reviewed. It has been an absolute pleasure;-)