Chapter 25: Body Paragraph 23
A/N: I've been very busy working on fictions for other fandoms, so I'm apologizing profusely for ignoring A:TLA. I've just lost the passion I once had for this area, what with the fact of their being no new episodes and stuff. If you would like to continue reading my (or Ali (Rika)'s) work, I suggest you check for the links posted on our User page, because we're now posting on livejournal. (I think you might be able to tell from this chapter that I've certainly improved a great deal in my time away from Avatar. ;D)
Happy Reading,
Mandi (Toruh)
ATLASokka watched as Toph playfully bounced up onto her tiptoes and cuffed Zuko on the head. Zuko brushed his forever-getting-longer hair out of his eyes and made a huge concerted effort at glowering down at her, even though Toph wouldn't be able to tell.
Sokka found it interesting how close Zuko and Toph had become in their time since the war, little sister and big brotherly, and Sokka almost felt like he'd been replaced, but at the same time, here Toph was coming with him and Suki to Kyoshi Island even though she didn't need to, wasn't asked to.
Sokka knew that he'd been negligent towards everyone; a lot Toph, but especially Suki, and it left him brokenhearted that he'd done so much damage to Suki in the time they've spent together, he'd been hindering her more by keeping her in his life, which was selfish of him. He finally had admitted it, along with her frustrated (practically) encouragement, and now they were off towards Kyoshi to return Suki home. Sokka thought it would be polite of him, chivalrous, to see her there. (Yeah, he'd definitely gotten over being a pompous 'men rule' kind of guy after his getting beat up by Kyoshis back and back and back in their previous – long-gone, he thinks wistfully, bitterly, sometimes – adventures.)
Toph obviously thought that Sokka was going insane, and that's why she'd insisted on coming as well – Sokka felt like he could still figure out what was going on in her little head, even with what had come to pass –, and he'd go on some sort of suicidal spree, but he wasn't. Not. It felt more complicated than that, and maybe Toph understood it more than Sokka thought she did, but at the same time, it doesn't seem like it. Reaching out towards him – not just Toph, everyone in general – had just had this way of making him feel even more withdrawn and had sucked him into himself even further.
If Sokka was asked what had been up with him, what was still a little bit up within him, what had been turned backwards, what had caused his spiral inward, he really couldn't explain it, actually. He had just started feeling…more dismal, destroyed. He felt like he was falling apart mentally and physically and it had been – was – disconcerting in every definition of the word.
He didn't know why and the confusion hurt even more.
Sokka now felt like, taking Suki home, while he was planning on being a bit insufferable and doing said task begrudgingly, he was being freed of something. Of responsibility, maybe, but maybe more of – he doesn't know. It just felt like there was dead, access weight being lifted from him.
Sokka was also seeing this trip as a chance to reconnect the dots, reevaluate himself and reinvent friendships.
XToph was, in the nicest of ways, already annoyed with this trip. They'd been traveling for a little under a day and they were still on the private boat that Zuko had arranged for them, heading towards the Earth Kingdom, seeing as how Toph sort of had him on freakin' leash now. Toph didn't mind though, something about him had turned her into this giant softie, and being adored by something in a big-brother type of way was always nice and reassuring. Of course, Katara didn't like being protected by Sokka, but that was different considering how things were now and how in the past he'd just tried to parent her, even though if anyone was 'parent,' it was so Katara.
Traveling again made Toph think of Aang, and thinking of Aang always made something pang at her heart, actually, it made a pang in the heart for anyone of them, because Aang was still gone and Aang was still not coming back for a nobody knew how long and there was still that missing piece from their gang.
Toph forced herself to think about other things.
Like how Suki was pointedly ignoring Sokka, arms crossed over her chest, positioned at the railings on one side of the boat. Or like how Sokka was absentmindedly dragging his hand across the rails on the other side of the boats, with glassed-over eyes and a vacuous look on his face.
Like how it was stupid and annoying.
X
Suki was both tentative and excited to return to Kyoshi.
The excitement came from the idea that she was finally returning home, and now she was going to be regarded to as a war hero, like all the other Kyoshi Warriors, as she had heard in the explicit and various letters she'd received in her times at the palace.
The hesitance was a bit harder to pinpoint though, because it was hammering down from so many different forces. The only thing Suki'd known since the war has been living at the palace, with watchful guards to ensure her safety – Suki'd barely touched any of her equipment since the final battle – and cooks who make amazing food. With maids to do her laundry and make her bed; with Sokka.
That was by far the hardest thing, and maybe what was actually causing all of her tentativeness, even if Suki refused to admit that to herself. Admitting that would show weakness, might allow herself to break down, and feel all the hurt building up and she just cannot have that. Not here. Not when she gets home. Never again.
Sokka was all Suki'd ever known. He had been the first boy she'd ever kissed, ever been even mildly interested in or attracted toward, and now she was moving on. She had finally forced herself and Sokka to acknowledge that there was something very wrong, corrupt with their relationship, that no matter how long Suki kept with Sokka and his mental instabilities, there'd always be something there.
Of course, she didn't mention the 'something' out-loud for fear that Sokka hadn't yet figured it out himself, because he was still struggling within himself.
Suki was going back to Kyoshi, she was giving up the boy – practically a man now, that was how long Suki had known him, seen him grow from gangly teen to a poised, but broken young man – that she'd spent the best years of her life kissing, fighting beside, loving.
She was giving it up for a little blind girl who probably wasn't even the wiser to the fact that somewhere inside himself, Sokka felt the same. She was giving it up for the little blind girl, because that little blind girl seemed to understand and care for Sokka more than Suki every thought she could.
That. That hurt Suki, but somewhere inside, she knew that it was probably going to be the best for all three of them. Or at least, if Sokka ended up, by some miraculous change of his mind, happy, maybe Suki could move on with herself and at some point become, too, happy again.
A/N:
I'd just like to take this time to thank anyone who actually READ this! =D I know it's been such a long time, and this story is kind of ludicrous, I know, what with the previous chapters being forevers short. I was more consumed of getting something up for you then, and then I just sort of gave up…
Anyways! THANK YOU FOR READING – sticking with me, etcetera etcetera!
[ Also, there you go. It's Tokka, as if you hadn't seen it coming. I mean, it's not like I'm not obvious about my OTP or anything. :)
~ Mandi (Toruh) ]