Note: This chapter has been edited from it's original form for compliance with the M rating on FanFiction. For the full, MA version of this chapter please visit this same story on Archive of Our Own. The story title and chapter title are the same. The author name is DeepLittleSOB. The link to my Dashboard is in my profile.

He's letting go a bit, he can feel it as he kisses the woman in his lap who's been able to get to him. Finally someone has gotten into his head and actually changed something for him, fixed something in him instead of make it all worse.

Sam knows Lou would never want him to have lived his life the way he has since she died. He took the wrong path when he trusted Ruby first of all. Lou would have kicked his ass for that, he knows it. Her very black and white world view would have ensured that. He also couldn't move on from her. The ring hanging around his neck, Lizzy, her best friend and sister, always being around, the dreams with her in them that haunt him all the time, all these things made it so hard to let go of her. He felt guilty doing so, like he's tarnishing her memory.

That's probably why he got hung up on Lizzy for a while there too. She's the only one he feels comfortable with and she's someone he knows Lou approves of. She's his best link back to her. He's really gone way off track with his love for Lou and how he managed it day to day.

But Rina reached him. He isn't sure how, but she certainly did. For once he doesn't feel wrong or like a bad person for kissing another woman. It feels like he's allowed to again, allowed to try and enjoy his life and climb out of the dark hole he's been hiding in.

"Thank you," Sam suddenly blurts out mid kiss when he feels the need to let her know how thankful he is for what she's trying to do for him.

Rina smiles with the pause and the thanks. "Anytime." She runs her hand gently down the side of his face. "You're a very cerebral person. You seemed locked up in there," she informs him while tapping her fingers lightly on his temple.

He nods. "Generally I am."

"You're going to be ok," Rina assures him. "You'll find a way past this but only if you let yourself."

"I can see that now," Sam smiles small with his arms loosely around her waist. "It's just been so hard… Lou has such a hold on me. But I know she'd want me to move on and for her I have to. For myself too."

"Would you like to give moving on a try right now?" she smiles to him, hoping he's hearing her invitation loud and clear.

Looking into her very dark eyes, the candle light in the room reflecting off of her irises as they dance into the air, for once he does want to try. Not because he hasn't been laid in a while and he just has to for physical reasons. Not because he's lonely either. It's because he actually wants to. It's been a long time since he's just plain wanted to be with someone because they intrigued him and made him feel something.

Answering her question, Sam kisses her again, deeper than before, and shows her he wants this. He wants her. And more than that, he's actually able to have her.

"Come with me," Rina asks of him when she pulls away and looks into his eyes. She smiles something sweet before standing up, her hand still in his.

Sam gets up also and follows her into her bedroom.

"Rui, out," she calls to her dog while pointing out into the hallway and the mutt obediently heads out of the room. She shuts the door and pulls Sam over to the edge of her bed. He sits there and watches as she moves to stand between his knees. Circling her arms around his neck, Rina kisses him again.

Pulling her a little closer with his hands on her hips, Sam can feel the tension he normally carries with him everywhere start to melt. He really does need Rina. And now that she's taken the initiative to give him what he's needed for so long, he needs all of her.

Pausing to look at Sam with a mixture of certainty and want, Rina pulls her shirt over her head, the gold bangles around her arm jangling as she does. Sam just looks at her, taking in the sight with his hesitance. He's right on the cusp of letting himself free and allowing himself the moment to connect with someone new.

"Sam," Rina calls his attention to her eyes after he doesn't move for some time. Once he looks up to her she takes his hands and places them on the bare skin of her sides. "It's ok. I want you to touch me. I really think you should."

Her smiling face, her features so dark and beautiful and nothing like Lou's, her caring nature so perfectly what he needs, Sam finally allows himself to let go of the past enough to let him really be with someone else.

Pulling her back into himself, Sam holds her body against his and kisses her hard. Damn, it feels so good to be open, not guarded or worried, not even guilty, while with someone like this. Her lips moving with his, her tongue sliding just once over his bottom lip, every second more that he gets of her feels like absolute liberty from the shitty life he's lived for nearly two years now.

Taking full command of the situation, as she can tell she's going to have to, Rina slides the heavy jacket he's wearing off of his shoulders and as Sam frees his arms from it, she begins lifting his long-sleeve t-shirt underneath it upward. Jacket off, shirt off, Rina smiles wide at him reassuringly.

"Beauty on the inside and the outside," she comments with her hands sliding over his chest and shoulders. "Rare thing to find these days."

Grinning while suddenly feeling slightly shy, San ducks his head a bit before putting his hands back onto her hips. "Could say the same about you."

Rina smiles even wider before leaning into him again, kissing him deep.

Sam continues to drop his guard little by little, feeling bolder the more she pushes him.

"Ahh," Sam sighs as he lies onto his back and looks up to the ceiling. Rina turns around to face him and snuggles into his side, her hand draping across his stomach.

"Sam?"

"Yeah?" Sam huffs in a big exhale.

"You're moving in."

Sam laughs aloud with her comment and kisses her cheek.