Tuesday night, 11:47 P.M.
He sat on his living room couch, staring blankly at the ugly carpet that was spread out as the floor. The television was on but he wasn't paying any attention to it. It was more background noise than anything. How long had he been sitting here, exactly? Just staring? Too long, perhaps. His stomach's been growling for a while but he's been ignoring it. Just like the television. He's hungry but he doesn't want to eat anything right now.
If anyone were to see him, they'd think he was pathetic. Just sitting there. But he had nothing better to do. There was nowhere to go and he was afraid that if he left then… Then his baby might come home. And if his baby came home when he wasn't there… Who knows. So he'd been waiting. But waiting wasn't doing him any good. If anything, it was making his depression worse because he would wait and wait and look at the clock and see that hours had gone by and still no change.
He didn't want to, but he was on the verge of giving up.
And he had every right to. His baby… His lover had been missing for almost a week… No calls. No messages. Not a word that he was okay or if he was coming home. This was tearing him apart from the inside out. Was it too much to ask that all he wanted was to see his baby walk through the door with a big smile on his face? Maybe it was. He didn't know and it made him want to cry. He called Tommy, but the blond assured him that he didn't know and that… That Adam wasn't involved. But a part of him didn't believe that. A part of him didn't believe anything anymore. All he wanted was Drake back in his arms and in his life. And if after a week, this was how he was feeling, he wasn't sure he'd be able to wait any longer.
He sighed softly, changing the angle of his gaze down to his hands, which were sitting in his lap. Maybe he needed to get away. That sounded like a good idea. But at the same time it didn't. He didn't want to move but he knew that he probably should anyway. Stretch his legs, maybe go get something decent to eat. When was the last time he actually ate a real meal? He can't remember anymore. These days had been passing by in a blur. How many has it been? Five? Six?
He shook his head, before slowly standing from the couch. Well, that was progress. He shuffled, slow and awkward at first, towards the front door where his shoes sat. He pressed his palm into the door, leaning on it as he shoved his feet into his shoes, adjusting them so that they rested comfortably. He didn't care about the laces. They were fine; a little loose though. Whatever. He sighed again, reaching over and grabbing his keys from the small side table next to the couch. They hadn't moved since he came home last Wednesday evening… When Drake was still home…
He had half a mind to kick his shoes back off and go back to waiting, but something told him to open the door and leave. And so he left. He locked his apartment and walked down the catwalk towards the flight of stairs, down towards the parking lot. His mind wandered and his feet carried him mechanically down the concrete steps towards his beat up car. It was old but it got him places, and, perhaps, today it would take him to an answer. Something to make his life a little better. Whether to Drake or not, he had to have a little hope, right?
Alex unlocked his car and slipped into the driver's seat, sitting for a moment with the door propped open just a little. Was this a good idea? 'Just drive. It doesn't matter where you go. Just… Go. Get away from here. Go visit someone. Maybe Tommy's— no. Where does he even live now? Probably with Adam… But where the fuck does Adam live?' He shook his head, shutting the door and sliding the key into the ignition of the car. He turned the key slowly, his car rumbling to a loud, old life. Buckling into his seat, Alex put the car into reverse, pulling out of the spot and out of the apartment complex, into the streets.
'This is crazy, Alex. What if you go out and find Drake out somewhere with someone else? What if he hasn't really left Adam? Would that mean he's two-timing you and Adam's two-timing Tommy? Well, you'd have something in common, other than being gay.' The musings that were rolling through his mind weren't helping his situation at all. He wanted to bash his head against the steering wheel of his car.
He spun the steering wheel of his car, driving down the ever busy streets of Los Angeles. Maybe he'd go to a bar or something, to kill time that had previously been spent waiting in a lonely apartment. Maybe he'd be able to get drunk and forget things for a few hours. Maybe meet up with some cute little twink who'd take care of his problems. But he shook his head as he drove, closing his eyes briefly and sighing. No. Not even a cute boy could solve his problems. He needed Drake back… He loved him too much to do something like that.
He swallowed the lump in his throat. He tried listening to music earlier, but the songs were too sappy or sad and he just couldn't take it. He couldn't take anything really right now. Maybe all of this was irrational and ridiculous, but it was how he was feeling and he couldn't help it. He stopped at a red light, resting his forehead on the steering wheel. He wanted to cry. His chest felt like it was caving in and suffocating his heart into a black hole. It was painful; excruciatingly so.
He stepped on the gas, rolling forward after the light turned green. He passed club after bar after bar after club before turning the wheel again, changing lanes and heading farther into downtown. He licked his lips a little bit, mechanically changing lanes and rolling down streets and making turns. He didn't even know where he was going anymore. He was just driving and driving, hoping that maybe he'd find something worthwhile in this trip. 'But what's worthwhile when the only thing worthwhile won't come back?'
He glanced ahead, down the road, seeing a bright sign lit up in the dark night and decided to take a change. He changed lanes again, swerving to the right-most side of the road before turning into the lot. It was pretty packed, and it was a wonder he was able to find a spot at all, but somehow he did. He spun the wheel, swerving into the spot before killing the engine. There was a kind of excitement in his body. Maybe there would be some promise here.
He opened the door, stepping out before shutting it and locking up his car. He shoved his keys into his pocket, glancing at the door. People were rushing in and out like a crazy mob. He sighed, shaking his head and walking across the lot towards the doors. He was let in with ease and without a second glance. Here he was a nobody, and that was all he really cared to be for the time being.
The music was a little too loud and a little too fast for Alex's taste, but he didn't really care. It didn't have words and that was what mattered. He didn't want something connecting his heart to more ache. He just wanted to forget for a while. And something in the back of his mind whispered that this was the perfect place. Something was saying with a smile that, in this club— The Mayan— everything would become right.
Alex bit down on his bottom lip, looking around at the club. Walls packed with sweaty, dancing bodies and the bar was loaded with people ordering and downing drinks. Serving people walked by wearing black and white with touches of brilliant greens or reds, holding trays of drinks and going to the booths tucked in the corners. People were walking on the balconies and catwalks of the second floor. His eyes widened. This place was huge.
He walked further into the club, sticking close to the bar as best he could without being shoved out of the way. He inhaled slowly, turning his attention towards the bar and taking a seat as soon as one became available. The tenders were all busy with their customers, with the exception of one. His eye caught that of a slender, tall male with porcelain pale skin. He looked chiseled out of perfection. Deep red hair with blackened tips, equally deep brown eyes. Alex froze, staring at the pale man for a moment as he came over before tearing his gaze away. His heart was pounding.
The redhead leaned against the edge of the bar, a small smile on his thin lips. "What can I get you, sir?" He asked, his voice just above the edge of the music, and the tone was sweet. Alex looked up at him again, smiling a little.
"Your strongest." He replied over the music. The redhead smiled a little wider, exposing pearly white teeth to Alex.
"Really now? What caused the need for something that'll knock you flat on your ass in one shot?" The redhead had a smile on his face that sent strange chills down Alex's spine. But there was something in the gleam of the bartender's eye that intrigued him just a little bit, and he shook his head, feeling the bite of depression creeping into the back of his throat again.
"Boyfriend's been missing for almost a week… And I've got a bad feeling his ex is involved with it…" Alex mumbled just over the music, though no one else seemed to hear him but the strange and beautiful bartender. The redhead nodded once before turning to a different tender and saying something into his ear that Alex couldn't quite catch. The other tender nodded once, and the redhead turned back towards Alex.
"Come with me." The redhead motioned to the other side of the bar. Alex stood from his seat, following the redheaded bartender. The pale man lead him towards the other side of the club, to a flight of stairs that shot up to the overhead balconies and catwalks. Alex swallowed the lump of fear that was sitting in the back of his throat and he followed the beautiful man, whose name he had not yet learned but assumed he'd find out soon enough.
He climbed the stairs, the redhead only two steps ahead of him and he pulled himself to the balcony, following close but not terribly close behind. His heart hammered in his chest, too fast for his liking but he wasn't really paying any attention to it, honestly. He turned a corner, keeping close to the redhead as the bartender guided him down a long hallway of doors. He frowned a little to himself, glancing around every now and then before the man stopped and opened the last door on the left, revealing a decent sized room with plush white carpet, leather couches and throw rugs of golds, greens and blues. The walls were a rich cherry color, a small mini bar tucked into a corner.
Alex stopped in the doorway as the man went to one of the couches, motioning for him to come inside. Alex shut the door quietly, inhaling slowly, a frown set in place on his lips. He wasn't so sure of this but he'd come this far already, so why back out now? Maybe all this man wanted was to hear his story, give some advice, serve as some comfort for him? That'd be nice. But his heart still ached for Drake's arms, lips and love…
"Sit down, I won't bite," the man said with a smile, patting the seat next to him on the couch. Alex sighed, nodding once and easing onto the leather cushion. "What's your name?" The redhead asked, his voice soft.
"Alex." He said without hesitation, and wondered for a moment why he had been so eager to drop his name. The redhead smiled again, holding out a pale hand.
"I'm Joshua." Alex eyed Joshua's hand for a moment before taking it, and nearly withdrawing immediately. Joshua's skin was ice cold. "Sorry… Hands are cold, I know. You handle ice and beverages for six hours straight and that tends to happen." Joshua said with a coy smirk, withdrawing his hand and letting it rest on his thigh.
"I-It's fine, it just… Startled me, that's all." Alex commented. Joshua nodded once, the smile never fading from his thin lips.
"Understandable. So, tell me… About your boyfriend? Why do you think his ex is involved?" Joshua asked. Alex glanced over at the redhead, seeing concern and the want to help in the deep brown eyes. But for a moment he wondered if they were too deep, too pretty… They reminded him…
They reminded him of Drake's eyes.
Alex looked away for a moment, knotting his fingers together and debating on telling this strange Joshua. But when he looked back up he nearly melted. Those eyes were too damn beautiful. Too damn caring and concerning and all Alex wanted was to have his baby back. Maybe if he told the brief tale of his heartache, Joshua could help him… There was no harm in trying, right?
"Well… My boyfriend, Drake, was dating someone else originally when he met me. But…" Alex paused for a light chuckle, "he always said it was like love at first sight with me. I never saw what was so special, but I liked him and he, obviously, really liked me and we just hit it off." But Alex caught something. At the mention of Drake's name, Joshua's eyes appeared to light up with a kind of light that was strange and intriguing, even if a little frightening at first, too.
"But… His ex was so sure that they were still together even when Drake and I started dating and getting serious. I told him time and time again that he just needed to tell Adam the truth and—"
"Adam?" Joshua inquired, his voice, perhaps, a little higher than originally. Alex blinked, nodding once.
"Yeah, Adam Lambert. You know him?" A distant look that gleamed in Joshua's eye, along with the curve of a smile told Alex plenty enough that the bartender knew Adam. Alex, personally, never met the man and didn't have any intention to, so he couldn't be one to judge other than that he was his baby's ex.
"Yeah…" Joshua laughed. "Adam and I have… quite a history." There was something in the tone of Joshua's voice that made Alex tremble a little, and he had an urge to get up and leave. But Joshua's eyes cleared and he smiled again, a not-so-creepy smile but one that actually looked meaningful, to an extent.
"So, you think Adam's behind Drake's sudden… disappearance?" Joshua asked, and Alex could only nod, the bitter feeling of rage pooling on the back of his tongue. Joshua smiled again, "I can help you. But… You're going to have to trust me. And do exactly what I say, alright?"
Alex looked over the perfection of Joshua's face, a frown on his own face. There had to have been a catch. Some sort of trick, a hidden deal. There was no way this… This bartender would be so willing to help him find his boyfriend and seek a sort of vengeance on the suspected person. Though the smirk on Joshua's face gave him chills, the glint in his eye seemed convincing enough that this was as true as he had made it sound. No catch? Let's see…
"What's the catch?" Alex asked, his voice quivering gently. Joshua threw his head back and laughed heartily before looking back to Alex.
"No catch. But one little added bonus…" Alex frowned, shaking his head in confusion, and Joshua leaned forward, his cold lips beside Alex's left ear. "Immortality."
Alex drew back. "Immortality? That's impossible, you can't promise something like that!" He said, his eyebrows drawn together and disbelief etched onto his face. Joshua just smiled, his pearly white teeth gleaming.
"Is it impossible? Truly?" Joshua lifted his hand, curling a cold finger under Alex's chin. As if pulled by an invisible thread, Alex leaned forward, unable to breathe as Joshua drew him close, their lips brushing in an ice-fire kiss. Alex's eyes slipped shut and a gently moan rolled off of his lips into Joshua's mouth. The redhead's tongue passed between his teeth, burning a little in his mouth, but that didn't stop their kiss. Alex reached up with greedy hands, threading his fingers into Joshua's mane of hair and pulling sharply on it. The bartender groaned, one palm— frozen— cupping Alex's cheek, the other curled around his hip and bringing him closer still.
Alex felt like he was on fire, the starting point of the explosion in his lips. He moaned loudly as Joshua sucked on his lower lip, and he dug his nails into Joshua's shoulders through his shirt, clenching onto him for dear life. He'd never felt this way through a kiss before. Not even Drake made him feel this alive and one fire, though it was often very close. But something about Joshua left him on edge and wary. But the paranoia of this pale man was slipping slowly away with every second spent in a kiss.
Suddenly, Joshua broke the kiss, leaving Alex panting for breath he didn't know he'd lost this whole time. His fingers were still cold, stroking his face delicately as if he were made of thin glass. Joshua's eyes, which Alex clearly remembered being a beautiful brown now appeared more red-brown… His heart pounded in his chest as Joshua's fingers left a burning trail down his throat.
"Will you give yourself over to a new life to find the answers you've always wanted?" Joshua asked, his dialect poetic and ancient, almost. Alex blinked once, still breathing hard. A new life? What did Joshua mean? But… Answers. Drake. Adam… Joshua promised him answers. Would he be a fool to turn him down?
"Yes." Alex said, and Joshua grinned a kind of grin that made Alex's heart stop. Joshua bent down kissing him hard on the lips again before pulling away and tilting Alex's head to the side, exposing his neck. Alex frowned at him, shivering at Joshua's icy embrace as the redhead bent his head, pressing cold lips to his skin before feeling burning daggers shooting into his skin and ripping open his soul.