Whee, as always thanks for the kind remarks. It really does make me feel nice each time I get any feedback. Life's hectic with Christmas incoming but I shall try to get up another chapter for sure before the end of the week!

The Art of War

Chapter Twenty-Five: Fret

"I have learned not to do predictions. It's not helpful, psychologically. I don't sit and fret about things."

-Mumia Abu-Jamal

The mall was at the height of festivity. The speakers were playing a fairly upbeat 'jingle bell rock'. There were decorations hanging every ten feet from the ceiling and most of the shops themselves had lights or trees, or some other form of ornaments to keep up with the spirit of the holidays. There were more people than Jane normally saw but then usually she'd of finished her shopping when she was on Asgard.

It was difficult to concentrate on buying anything as it was, her mind kept drifting back to loki and the fact that he had somehow tricked or lied to her. The lack of knowing the truth was eating at her far worse than it should have. They'd only just started dating in any official capacity, she shouldn't be that surprised that she'd been fooled by him. Still, she couldn't help but be bothered, their time together had felt legitimate to her. The way he would look at her, the small methods by which his body language changed between her and others – had it all been prepared in advance? But to what end? He already had anything he could want from her. He didn't want children so why continue he farce once he'd gotten the crown?

It didn't help that the 'guard' he sent with was following her at a distance and often getting lots of stares or photos from passerby – too bad he refused to wait at the house. Jane was doing her best to ignore the fact he was there in hopes no one realized it was her the weirdo was following. No more guards unless they can blend in better...possibly no more at all...

Jane picked up a word a day calendar from one of the carts lining the malls busy hallways – it would work for Erik. She didn't really know what he needed and he used to have one on his desk so maybe he'd appreciate it. She couldn't really concentrate on getting anything too specific, her mind kept turning back to the fact that she'd been lied too.

It annoyed her, Loki's lack of truth was making it impossible to actually enjoy this and normally she liked going out shopping for the holidays. She didn't have many people to buy for but she supposed that just made it less of a chore than most people seemed to feel it was. Except for now, she just wanted to finish and get back to Asgard so she could find out what the hell was going on.

What made her the most nervous was what if she was assuming incorrectly again. If he had truly been hurt and she accused him of not being then it could destruct everything they had built. As it was Loki was guarded and distrustful of others after the way his family had treated him. If she just outright accused him of lying without any real proof then she could just be letting everyone else's negative talk of him influence her. Still, now that she'd seen Erik's data she couldn't just ignore it.

Erik's machine had been quite detailed...if he had something like that then maybe Asgard had things like that as well. She could try and get one and double-check for herself that Loki hadn't lied to her...of course how the hell would she get it without his help? She didn't want to ask Thor – she couldn't really trust him to remain a neutral party – or any of his friends. Even considering it made her feel just as deceitful as everyone said Loki was.

She stepped up to the front of the line, setting down the calendar and paying – which was another problem. While she dealt with things on Asgard she wasn't making a pay check here on earth. She hadn't been rich to begin with – and while she had enough to buy gifts – the lack of any money was going to make keeping her apartment pretty difficult after a month or two when her savings ran dry. She needed to decide soon if she was going to live on Asgard or just stay on earth – she'd glided over becoming an Asgardian with Darcy or Erik. She had no idea how she would tell them without possibly causing more of a rift after her choice of relationship. Darcy hadn't really seemed to judge but she knew Erik wouldn't approve if she told him. Darcy would probably think it was 'cool'.

Jane took a deep breath, looking over Spencer's outside window and then walking inside. She was supposed to be looking for something for Darcy while they took a break from shopping together. She supposed she could get the girl some shot glasses – she'd mentioned a few times wanting them – Jane assumed the hints weren't supposed to be subtle.

She sighed again, frustrated at her own inability to get Loki out of her mind. This was almost as bad as the time Thor had left her on earth – she'd waited like a lost puppy in that desert in New Mexico until well after the sun had gown down just the first day. It was months before her friends convinced her continuing her work she might find him again. Was she always going to be the whimpering idiot who trusted men far more than she should?

It wasn't as if Thor had been any better – he'd left her for ages...and then outright forgot about her...Asgardian's made shitty boyfriends. She at least knew that much after her personal experiences – or maybe it was just Asgardian royalty. Either way, she didn't know how to react and that bothered her most of all. She knew that she should assume the worst but after the way Loki had looked at her she just couldn't...her heart was just sore after all the shocks it'd been through lately.

She picked out a few glasses she thought Darcy would like, setting them on the counter when she reached the front of the line. Then walking back out of the store with a bag shortly thereafter. She still had a few minutes before she was supposed to meet up with her friend in the food court. They always stopped at a privately owned place here that made great hot chocolate – well at least they had the past two years so she supposed it was becoming a tradition.

Jane just walked, half window shopping as she moved. Pausing at a men's clothing store, one of the ties reminded her of the same green the god she was agonizing over wore. It was the same dark forest color that he favored...

In her pocket a crumpled list had a half-dozen names on it...Loki was one of those. She'd jotted down the list so she wouldn't forget anyone – like her neighbors since they'd given her a fruit basket last year. But now getting something for Loki seemed presumptuous – a tie wouldn't really mean much to the god anyway – he could will his clothing to change. Not much need for garments when she took that into mind. What sort of gift could she get him that would compare to what he already had anyway? He was king of Asgard...possibly by her intervention – that seemed reward enough.

Besides, when he could just be using her it seemed silly to buy him anything at all...

She walked past the shop and went ahead toward the food court – the sooner their day out ended the faster she could return and try to figure out what had actually happened. Even if she did ask him about it nicely he might lie about the lie...his deception certainly wasn't one of a single level. He'd said himself he was a master of mischief, of trickery. Now that she knew he had lied to her how could she tell if anything else he'd said was honest at all?

"Hey, you all right?" Darcy caught up to her, her friend looking concerned. "You look horrible."

"I'm fine." Jane lied. She didn't believe it herself. She had been close to tears. Why the hell did the concept bother her so much anyway? She hadn't had that much more time to get to know him, it should just be natural that she was fooled. She should be angry at herself, not at him, he was just doing what came easily to him. She was the idiot that let it happen.

"You're a pretty horrible liar." Darcy replied bluntly. "Something's really gotten to you. Was there something in all of Erik's scientific mumbo-jumbo? What happened?"

"I...don't know yet. I'm not sure Darcy." Jane answered, she was becoming much too good at sighing piteously. "I just need to talk to Loki about it."

"Then go." Darcy answered, as if it were the easiest thing in the world. "I understand. I can drink hot coco on my own."

"But I was going to stay through Christmas." Jane couldn't know how her conversation would go – or even if she and Loki worked this out if she'd be able to visit again before then. They'd always hung out for Christmas. She didn't want to just up and leave her friends.

"Look, all I know is that yesterday when you arrived you seemed tired but happy, and now you're all 'I accidentally ran over my own dog and my truck stopped working country song' sort of depressed." Darcy replied. "You have things you gotta work out. You aren't doing any good moping here, none of us want to see you like that. You certainly don't make very good company like this."

How was it her loud intern had gotten so insightful about Jane's feelings? She nodded a little, the comments were true enough – if a little harsh. Jane wasn't exactly spouting the holiday spirit. She glanced toward her guard and back to Darcy. "Uh, can you take my bags back to the apartment?"

"Can do. Go get em." Darcy replied cheerfully, picking up the offered bags.

"Don't open those." Jane called back, if she could help it she'd still get back to earth for the holiday. However, she already felt slightly better just walking toward her guard. "We're going back, come on we should go out to somewhere less conspicuous."

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Loki rubbed fingers along his left temple, the daily monotony of the crown was not an aspect that he liked by any means, the ministers had been going on about funding for a road in the northern most part of the city for the better part of an hour. Arguing with each other as to where to get the funds – or if the road was needed at all. Generally he didn't let them go on for this long but unlike several other days where he'd been much more focused today his mind kept wandering. That, and he didn't really care, this topic was so mundane it was painful. He idly pondered if they'd picked this particular case just to further his torment.

With new gatekeeper's still being trained there were none anywhere near the level of skill that Heimdall had possessed. It was a pity Loki had been forced to kill the man, certainly he would have appreciated his ability to watch any world while Jane was back on Midgaurd. Though Heimdall would have been an impossible asset to keep – he would have seen too easily Loki's plots if he looked carefully enough. His death had been one of the first orders Loki was forced to make. None yet were versed enough in the sort of magic it took to function as gatekeeper to be able to check in on Jane for him. Probably by the time any were that versed she would have already given up her time on Earth.

"It doesn't matter, the road is unneeded by most, it appears as if only some of the minister's here would like to have it to make their personal travel between villa's easier. It's not something that the court will pay for. If you want it so badly, you are quite welcome to pay for it yourselves." Loki bit into the conversation when people glanced at him for a final call. And his observations were true – he was not blind to the corruption within his own court. Loki knew all too well the men of the council – he'd spent a fair amount of time growing up getting to know their secrets intimately – it's why several of them were so against his standing as ruler. No one wanted there arbiter of law to know their dirty secrets.

Not that Loki was adverse to compromise- he wouldn't mind allowing the occasional personal interest to slide through the ranks but this was just an attempt to undermine him. It was insulting that they thought they could get approval for such a measure. He had no problems calling them on it – all the more ironic given he still fretted over his own dishonesty with Jane. Yet, no one questioned him – apparently they were wise enough not to attempt to push him when he was already not in the best of moods. The topic moved on and he was left to glance toward one of the windows, he could see the bi-frost activating in the distance – but that was normal. There were constant coming and going's with his father's funeral celebration still in full swing, he half-wished he could use it to go after Jane.

It was only the first day after her having left last night and he was already missing the damnably likable woman. She was making it difficult to even act as ruler – the one thing he'd always wanted. His birthright, and she had him losing interest. Not that today had been anything but drivel compared to more compelling aspects of rule but it was still the principle of the matter. Other days when dealing with these details he'd looked forward to seeing or working with her more than he realized...did she really expect him to tolerate two weeks of her absence? He had barely slept the night before...

The rest of his afternoon was just as bothersome, by the time he escaped the gathering of minister's he was quite content with a plan of just remaining in his room catching up on reports. The more he got done ahead of time now the more he could focus on Jane's training later. What he didn't expect was for her to be settled in his quarters when he got there. Had she felt the same absence? No, her expression was dark, something had happened...

"Hey um, I know I'm not supposed to be back already but uh..." Jane had resolved herself that she had to speak to him about this. Even if he explained it off as a coincidence she had to know. "...Erik figured out a way to track portals and get information on them."

Loki already didn't like where this was going...what did she know and what did she only suspect? He couldn't be certain so saying anything would be showing his hand too soon. He waited for her to continue instead of saying anything.

"The portal you came through a month ago...it couldn't have been from the convergence...the readings were much too different...even if it was at a different point in time. There was none of the break down at all that happened then." Jane stated, her explanation was true. It was the exact science of the machine Erik had come up with, though she was really hoping she wasn't wrong. "There was more to your appearance on Earth than you lead me to believe wasn't there?"

There it was, one of the questions he didn't want to answer. She already knew some of the science, and honestly if his own people thought to check they could figure out that she was correct. There was no chance the portal he took would lead back to that time. They wouldn't be able to track that he'd started on Asgard but this was still enough of a discrepancy for him to regret not having done something about the girl's mortal friends sooner.

"Are you going to say anything?" Jane was waiting for him to explain. It was clear she wasn't going to just champion anything he might have to explain this time. But, this could be the only chance he had to come completely clean with her. Did he really want to risk everything on the truth - for this woman that so vexed him?

End Chapter