Break Me, Shake Me

DaggersBloodPain

Chapter Twenty-Five

Butterflies

Harry loved every second he was up in the air. The feel of the wind, the racing of his heart, the laughter spilling from him, it was like he was dancing in the sky. Viktor sat back on his own broom a small smile breaking his normally stern features, watching Harry fly was nothing but pure pleasure. That boy belonged in the air, just as much as Viktor himself did.

No wonder Harry's trademark was a lightning bolt, it was more than just an old scar that made the connection. He was fast, and smooth, never staying in the same place for longer than a moment. It was poetry in motion.

Even now the day before the task was set, Harry still flew freely, the fear over facing a dragon couldn't weigh him down. He looked over at Viktor during one of his loops around the Quidditch pitch, and caught the most unusual sight. Viktor was smiling, small as it was, it was still a smile. Viktor wasn't a cold person like the Malfoys were, his features were simply strong, and he was often under a lot of stress due to his fame, the Tournament, and his school work. With everything piled on his shoulders it wasn't surprising that he didn't smile often.

Though for the same reasons, Harry could hide some of the more telling symptoms of his disorder by playing it off as stress once he got the panic settled back down.

The smile on Viktor's face made Harry's stomach do flip flops, that was a new thing for him. Out of all the crazy situations, and just plain stupid stunts, nothing had ever made him feel quite the same before. It wasn't painful or unpleasant though, it made him feel almost giddy.

"Are you ready for tomorrow?" Harry asked, pulling his broom up beside the softly smiling wizard.

Viktor nodded shortly before replying, "Yes, I know what I am going to do, and I will just have to trust that I have practiced enough. I volunteered for this though, I should be asking you that question. Are you ready to handle this?"

Harry thought about his reply for a few moment before speaking, "You know every once and awhile I get really worried, and frustrated, not knowing if I am going to make it. When I get like that I try to remember something Severus once told me when I was younger. Basically what he said was since I have been fighting fear my whole life, that if for just one second I can push it out of the way, I will be stronger than someone who has never dealt with fear like I have. I didn't understand him then, but I do now. When I think about the dragon I get terrified, I won't lie, but I have never had a panic attack thinking about it. I have daily practice dealing with controlling fear, that to me, is worse than facing a dragon. So yes, I think I'm ready. You suggesting I fly my way through the challenge probably saved my life, you have no idea how much I appreciate everything you are doing for me." He added on the last part, lowering his head, not being able to meet Viktor's eyes. Even Harry didn't know what the older boy would see in them if he looked.

Viktor couldn't help himself, putting a finger under Harry's chin he gently raised Harry's head back up. He had been expecting a flinch, or at least tensing, instead he got a pink blush and a pair of eyes that were looking anywhere except at him. Not wanting to push Harry into overreacting when they were still floating lazily in the air, he simply said, "I understand Harry, maybe not as well as you do, but I think I get it. Oh, and Harry? You don't have to thank me, I did it because I wanted to and because it was the right thing to do."

With that Viktor dropped his hand and took off on his broom, shouting an invitation behind him, "Race you around the pitch!"

It took Harry a second to get his fuzzy brain to work again, but when he did he flashed a grin of his own, shouting back, "You're on!" Before flattening himself against the broom Sirius had bought him soon after their reunion, to make up for all the lost Christmas and Birthday presents he claimed, and tore off after Viktor.

XxxxxxX

A few hours later Severus was working on a potion in his lab, a tweak to the Wolfsbane that may allow for a smaller dose to be effective and since the taste was horrendous the easier he could make it to take the more werewolves may be convinced to try it, when he heard the first layer of wards trip around his lab. He had two, the first was several feet down the hall to give enough warning to get any volatile potions under a stasis spell, and the second was to inform him when the visitor actually reached his door to his workroom. Better to play it safe and have two wards than to miss a warning and get seriously harmed.

He wasn't surprised when the second ward went off, and Harry entered the lab, knocking lightly as he walked in despite knowing about the wards in place.

"Hey, Severus are you busy? I'd like to talk to you a bit, if you are not working on something too advanced maybe I can help you to make up for the interruption?" Harry knew even though there was a potion bubbling away, it didn't mean Severus was very busy, he could just be bored and passing the time the best way he knew how.

"Go ahead and come in, I'm working on Wolfsbane right now, a little advanced for you to do much in the brewing, but I could use another set of hands to get the ingredients prepared." Severus allowed. It wasn't just to make Harry happy, maybe it was because the boy lived with him, but Harry was very good at potions. Getting the ingredients ready to add shouldn't be too much of a challenge even if he wasn't quite ready to deal with the intricate brewing process of Wolfsbane.

Harry did as he was told, washing his hands at the utility sink before going over to the workstation, Severus would have his hide if Harry even went near those ingredients after being outside all day without washing up. Severus slid a packet of what looked like dried flowers towards him, along with a clean mortar and pestle, "Alright I need four petals from those flowers ground into a fine, even, powder, with absolutely no clumps I need full control over the amount I add with each stir." Severus explained, expanding on the instructions to include a small lesson in them, he was still Harry's professor after all.

After Harry set to work, and Severus removed the stasis spell from the cauldron, he prompted Harry, "What did you want to talk to me about?"

Harry slowed with the pestle, taking his time to respond. "How do you tell if someone likes you as more than a friend?"

Severus stifled a groan, he knew this conversation was coming, he could admit to himself though that he had hoped it would be another year or two. "There isn't an easy answer to that, everyone acts differently when they meet someone they like. Why are you asking? Is someone interested in you?" Severus had spent a lot of time getting Harry to open up and trust him, he wasn't going to avoid the topic just because it made himself a little uncomfortable.

"Well, maybe, but that's what I'm trying to figure out. Gah! It's so complicated. I think they are interested, but I can't tell if that is because they are interested or because I want them to be." Harry admitted, concentrating heavily on the flower petals he was crushing.

Ah, so Severus' suspicions had been right, Harry had his first crush, "I can't promise you it's not because you want them to be, but I will say this, you won't know how they feel unless you talk to them about it." Severus was sure he would always regret waiting too long to tell Lily he loved her, but he was trying to do right by her son.

Instead of blushing Harry paled, "I don't know about that. What if I'm wrong, I might lose a good friend, one of my only sources of support. What would I do then?"

Now Severus was even more sure he knew who it was, "Harry, sometimes to get something really good, you have to take a chance. Could things go badly? Yes, they could. Those things happen, and people pick themselves, dust themselves off, and try again. It may take awhile but you can move on. You have to answer a question in your head, just one, and if you answer honestly you will know what you need to do that is best. Care to guess what that question is?" Severus wanted to see how close Harry got to understanding his point.

Pushing the now finely crushed petals away from him, Harry cautiously responded, "Will they make me happy?"

"You are close, very close, with that one," Severus complimented, "But Harry, that question only applies after you ask yourself this one. As you can't know if they will make you happy until after they have given you some kind of answer. The question you need to ask yourself is this, do you care enough about them to make risking your friendship worth it? Until you feel more for them in this new way than you do as friends, wait. If, however, its the other way around, than go for it. You may never know if they felt the same way if you don't."

Harry rolled the thoughts around in his head, watching as Severus added the next ingredient to the cauldron, the Professor glad he had made Wolfsbane so often even with the tweaks he could hold a conversation while brewing it. "I may need a little while to think before that all makes sense, but I believe I got most of it. Now what's next?" Harry hadn't been completely oblivious to his mentor's unease at the subject, but he wanted logical advice, not fairy tales. Severus had given him exactly what he needed.

Severus pushed two funny shaped plants towards Harry that kind of looked like red ginger, "I need these roots sliced finely, about four millimeters wide per slice, they need to dissolve quickly," He explained. Before his student could get too involved with the knife, Severus couldn't resist asking, "The person you are talking about, it wouldn't happen to be Viktor Krum would it?"

Harry's bright red blush was all the answer Severus needed.